


Rumple's Dark Castle

by DruidKitty



Category: Howl's Moving Castle - All Media Types, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 17:57:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 102,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1275688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DruidKitty/pseuds/DruidKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Belle is content spending her days with her books until she meets the alluring Mr. Gold. As she begins to realize he may be the one, the jealous Evil Queen curses her to forget. With very few memories, Belle leaves home only to find herself forced to become a maid in the Dark Castle, to serve the only wizard who may be able to help her, Rumplestiltskin. A Howl's Moving Castle AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheAuburnGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAuburnGirl/gifts).



Boom! A sound that rang like thunder rumbled far away causing the walls to vibrate in the little bookshop that sat near the edge of downtown. The noise was out of the ordinary, but many of the townspeople didn't notice, as there was much commotion going on that day. Everyone was hustling and bustling about to get ready for the parade that was to happen that afternoon. Everybody except one.

Belle sat in the back of the little bookshop, unwilling to let all the noise break her concentration as she tried to finish mending the book she had been working on all day. She spent most of her days in that little room restoring old books while her two older sisters and brother ran the shop.

"Belle, we just closed the shop!" Belle's oldest sister, Felicie called as she stepped in from the other room, dressed up in her fanciest dress, ready to go out, "You've done enough work, why don't you come out with us?"

Belle paused, looking up from her work, "No, I need to finish this. I'm almost done. You go and have fun."

"Alright, suit yourself," her sister replied without putting up much of an argument. She was being more polite than anything when she extended the invitation, knowing Belle wouldn't come anyway and honestly not wanting her to.

Belle had never been exceptionally close to any of her siblings, although she did love them. Her sisters were selfish, greedy, vain, and cruel at times. They complained constantly about having to run such a lowly bookstore, never grateful for anything. She was probably closest to her brother, Ludovic. He was greedy like her sisters, and spent most of his time drinking and gambling. Still he took care of Belle, keeping his friend Gaston from having his way with her and defending Belle against the torment her sisters rained upon her. They tormented her more often than not, but Belle never felt less of her family, loving them despite their faults.

However, although Belle held a lot of love for her family, her heart belonged to her books. She didn't know what she would do with out them. When she wasn't restoring them, she was reading them. She had never cared to be social, to join in on festivities like the parade that was going on that day. She preferred the solitude and her books. It had gained her the reputation of being odd, but she never cared what others thought of her. The only thing she longed for was adventure, to get away from this provincial life, and her books were the only doorway.

Belle sighed heavily, thinking about it. It depressed her to think she'd never get the adventure she longed for, but she tried her hardest not to dwell on it, always losing herself in her work instead. At least with books she was always guaranteed a happy ending.

As she picked up the needle to resume sewing the binding of the book, her other sister, Adelaide, startled her by screaming out in the next room and sprinting toward the window, "Look! It's the Dark Castle!"

"Where?!" Felicie exclaimed as she knocked Adelaide over to see out the window in hopes of catching a glance of the castle.

"There, on the hillside!" Adelaide pointed to the right.

Belle glanced up, looking out the large window she sat in front of. She was curious herself, but not willing to let her sisters know so. But her curiosity wasn't sated because the castle had just disappeared behind a thick cloud of fog.

"Aw, it's gone now," Adelaide said in a whiny tone, "But did you see it?"

Felicie nodded, "I don't think I've ever seen it that close!" She stepped back smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress.

"You better not have ruined my dress!" Adelaide growled as she frantically searched for tears or stains from where her sister was touching her.

"Oh calm down. There's nothing wrong with your dress."

Belle had been watching them but averted her eyes when they started bickering over something so petty. She had grown weary of listening to her sister's arguments, but never tried to stop them because then they would just focus their hate onto her.

"Come on girls! Hurry up!" Ludovic called from the front room.

"Coming!" the two sisters answered back as they hurried to grab their bags and rush out of the room while they continued gushing over the dark castle and it's owner.

"Did you hear what Rumplestiltskin did to that girl down in Avonlea? They say he tore her heart out, literally."

"That's ridiculous. I know he's powerful, but ripping out someone's heart? They must've meant figuratively. Surely he just broke her heart."

"Oh I wish he had my heart. I'd give anything for a man like that. I hear he can spin straw into gold! Gold! Can you imagine? All the things we could buy!"

The front door shut loudly. Belle breathed a sigh of relief once they were gone was relieved she didn't have to listen to her sister's selfish comments anymore. Belle had never been romantically involved with anyone. When she wasn't at the shop, she was with her father helping him with what she could. He was getting old and needed more help each day, especially since he gambled their life savings away. She didn't have time for romance, but she was not like her sisters. Neither gold nor money would be a reason to marry; if she married, she would marry for love. She could care less about riches.

She couldn't even be sure if the rumor was true that Rumplestiltskin could spin straw into gold. Not much was even known about him. Most information came from stories, were rumors, and only a few people had actually met him. Rumplestiltskin was a mysterious human being, if he even was human. Belle had heard that his skin was not the color of a human, but that of a reptile, that sparkled in the light, and his eyes were that of a demon's. She had heard he was hundreds of years old, but Belle found that notion to be ridiculous. No one could live that long, not even a magical being.

Rumplestiltskin was known mostly for his magic, but Belle had never heard that he used his magic for good. All the stories named him a dealmaker and although the person got what they asked for, his deals always benefited himself.

He stayed in his castle mostly. That was why many had never seen his face. The castle he resided in, the Dark Castle as it was known, moved around from time to time, never in the same place twice. Belle had seen glimpses of it from a distance, but never up close. She was sad it was so foggy outside that day; disappointed it blocked her from catching a glimpse of the palace. It sparked her curiosity, along with Rumplestiltskin himself. Yet, she knew she would never meet him and in a way she was thankful. He was known for being evil and she felt she had enough darkness in her life.

As she continued working on the book, it wasn't long before it was complete. Belle set it aside, stroking the binding, the book looking good as new. She was proud of her work and always took extra care into doing a great job. It brought a smile to her face as she looked at the finish product. Now it was time to start on the next one. Yet, as Belle picked up the other book, one that had a major rip in the crease and stain on the front, her smile disappeared.

She might not have wanted to be social or take part in social events, but at times she couldn't help but feel lonely. It didn't help that the shop was so quiet, although she wasn't wishing for her family to return just yet.

Sighing heavily, she decided she would quit for the day. It would take a lot of work to fix this particular book; it would be best to start early the next day. To ease her loneliness she decided she would make a trip to the library to search for a new book to read.

Carefully putting the things away, she went upstairs to her little apartment to get her bag and wash up. As she ran her fingers through her brown locks, she couldn't help but examine herself in the mirror. Her name meant beauty, but she didn't feel beautiful. Her clothes were not that fancy, and her hands had calluses on them from all the work she did. Sometimes she her sisters seemed jealous of her "beauty," but she always convinced herself that she was imagining things. Instead she believed her sisters to be beautiful, but not herself. That was one reason she chose to wear such plain dresses, while her sisters wore things fit for beautiful women. Her sister's dresses were made of expensive silks, while Belle just wore a simple blue cotton one that laced down the front and hung down just below her knees. Every once in a while she wondered what it would be like to wear such a fancy dress, but overall she was content with what she had.

Once she was finished getting ready, she locked up the shop, and made her way through the streets toward the library, which was in the middle of town. She brought along a book she needed to return, reading the last chapter along the way. She could hear the noise of the crowds and the parade as she approached the town square, it growing louder with every step. Coming close to the main road, Belle caught a glimpse of the parade full of thousands of soldiers marching off to war. Everyone cheered them on and seemed so excited about it, but to Belle there was nothing to be excited about when it came to war. Especially this war. This was an Ogre War. There hadn't been one in hundreds of years. The last time the ogres attacked, they had mysteriously all disappeared at once. It was rumored a creature called the Dark One was responsible, but no one knew for sure. However, now after all these years, the ogres had somehow returned to the lands, destroying everything and everyone in their path.

Since the parade was on the main street, Belle knew she needed to find an alternate route to the library. Wandering down through the side streets, she found a back ally that led directly to her destination. Making her way between the buildings her mind was completely engulfed on the ending of her story allowing a tall, muscular man to sneak up on her from behind the corner, startling her and stopping her in her tracks.

"Why hello Belle," the dark headed brute said as he loomed over her. He was dressed in a soldier uniform, but what he was doing away from the others, Belle didn't know.

"Gaston," Belle said curtly, trying to take a few steps back to increase the distance between them. His closeness was making her very nervous, and she didn't like the look in his eyes.

He gave her an ugly grin, stepping toward her every time she tried to move back, "Are you out here all alone? Where's your brother?"

Belle tried to keep her composure. Her brother. She wished he were here right now. Everyone knew that Gaston pined after her, but Ludovic always kept Gaston in check. Why they were even friends, Belle didn't understand, but she suspected it had to do with money. "Oh uh, he's watching the parade with my sisters. I was just going to the library."

"The library? Now how many times Belle have I told you to get your head out of those books and start paying attention to more important things…like me. It's not right for a woman to read. Soon she starts getting ideas…thinking."

"Gaston you are positively primeval."

"Why thank you," he replied and put his hands on her shoulders, "Now whatta ya say you and me take a walk over to the tavern, take a look at my trophies…get to know one another more before I go off to war."

Belle could feel a shiver flow through her body as she heard the insinuation in his voice. And she knew she didn't have a choice. There was no one else around to stop Gaston, and he was much bigger and stronger than her. She wouldn't be able to resist. She tried not to let the fear show in her eyes, but her voice was shaky, "Uh…maybe some other time."

His grip tightened on her, "I'm going off to war Belle. And I need a nice send off before I go."

Belle gulped and she was about to give a comeback when she felt an arm slip through her elbow.

"There you are sweetheart. I couldn't find you!" A male voice, the owner of the arm, said.

Belle jumped a little when this man took her arm and addressed her. She looked up, her bright blue eyes meeting dark brown ones. This man was only an inch or so taller than her and he had light brown hair dusted with gray that fell to his shoulders. He was dressed impeccably in a pinstriped suit complete with tie and vest. He held a gold tipped cane in his free hand. His whole aura radiated money and power. She didn't know the man, not personally, but she knew his very strong reputation he held around town so it was hard not to recognize him.

Gaston took his hands off Belle, clearly not happy that he had been interrupted, "And who are you?"

"I find it hard to believe you don't know who I am?" Belle's savior scoffed sarcastically with a wicked grin, "After all most do. Perhaps you're not from around here. But if you go two blocks ahead and make a right, you'll find I own the only pawn shop in town."

Gaston straightened, instantly realizing whom he was addressing at the mention of the pawn shop. However, he loomed over the man by at least a foot. He didn't feel threatened. "What business do you have with Belle?"

"My own. Now I believe you have a parade to attend." He tapped his cane on the ground.

"What? No I'm not finished with you yet!" But Gaston suddenly could feel his body began to walk away from the couple toward the parade. "Wait! What's going on?" Belle heard him exclaim as he left realized he was completely unable to control his own motions.

Once he was out of sight, she breathed a sigh of relief. She was free. She was safe. She looked up at her savior and smiled, "Thank you."

"It's no matter," he said brushing it off. Belle began to pull her arm away from him, but he stopped her. "Please allow me escort you to your destination."

"Oh, uh, there's no need. I was just going to the library." She could feel herself blushing.

"I must. I wouldn't want that brute to show up again and harass you."

"You…you're Mr. Gold," she asked a little nervously wanting to confirm what she already knew before she allowed him to take her anywhere.

"Aye. And Belle is it?"

She nodded again, "Belle French."

"Belle, a name that means beauty. It suits you perfectly." He smiled and pulled her hand up to his lips for a brief kiss.

Belle's face turned redder. She was unused to this kind of flattery. "Alright Mr. Gold. You may escort me to the library."


	2. Chapter 2

            It was well known that Mr. Gold was a very wealthy, powerful man. And he got that power from being ruthless and showing no mercy to anyone. All the townspeople knew his name and did their best to steer clear of him unless absolutely necessary. When he wasn’t conducted business, Mr. Gold kept to himself. Spending most of his time in the pawnshop he owned, he had little to do with others.

Barely anything was known about his personal life. However, from what Belle knew about him, he had no friends and no family. She felt bad for the man. He must be terribly lonely with no one to associate with except on business matters. She had seen him around town many times, but always steered clear of him just like everyone else. He was known for being cold-hearted, and callous.

Normally Belle would not judge a person from their reputation, but more evidence pointed to the truth than not. She had seen no proof that what she knew of him wasn’t true. A few of her father’s neighbors had gotten mixed up with him, taken out a loan, then ended up not being able to pay it back on the terms they had agreed upon. The end result was not pretty. The families had ended up on the street, with no money, no belongings to their name, no way to buy food or live. How a man could be so cruel was absurd. There was nothing that had given her the notion that he might not be what people said he was, nothing until that day.

Mr. Gold had saved her from Gaston, saved her from the horrible things that man could have done to her. And that action was totally unlike everything she had ever heard about him.

They walked in silence as he escorted her the couple of blocks to the library. Belle took the opportunity to observe the man up close, something she had never been able to do before.

He scowled as he walked, seemingly deep in thought about something important. It was obvious he was a bit older than Belle. If she were to guess, late forties, possibly early fifties. He wore his hair much longer than most men, down to his shoulders, but she liked it. It was unique. It fit him. His dark brown eyes were what stuck out to her the most. They were mesmerizing and for some reason she felt drawn to them.

“Like what you see, dearie?” he asked jokingly, not looking at her.

Belle blushed and immediately turned her gaze back toward the road. He had caught her staring and she was embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stare.”

Mr. Gold’s eyes glanced at her from the side, but he didn’t turn his head to see her. The corner of his lip quirked up in a half smile when he saw the redness on her cheeks.

Turning down the last alley that connected to the library, Belle suddenly got the sense they were being followed. She tried to turn to see, but Mr. Gold tightened his grip on her arm, getting her attention. “Behave naturally,” he commanded.

She nodded, confused. If they were being followed, why did he seem not to mind? Rounding the last corner, she thought she caught a glimpse of something black extend out of the wall. Not knowing what it was, it frightened her and she unintentionally clung to Mr. Gold. She barely knew the man, but still she felt safer around him. However, what if they had to run from whatever was behind them? Mr. Gold walked with a cane. Would he be able to get away? She didn’t want anything to happen to her or him.

Coming to the library entrance, Belle was prepared to say goodbye, but she was still hesitant to leave him alone when they were being followed by something she couldn’t explain. She tried to act normal like he insisted. Letting go of his arm, she offered him a small smile, “Thank you again.” There was worry in her voice even though she tried to hide it.

However, Mr. Gold didn’t seem worried at all, at least not for his safety. “Perhaps you shouldn’t thank me just yet. It seems I’m being chased by someone and unintentionally got you involved. Best return your book, then let me ensure you get home safe.”

Belle nodded, then rushed inside the library while Mr. Gold waited outside at the front. After giving the book to the librarian and exchanging a few quick pleasantries, she left. She was a little disappointed she wasn’t able to pick out some new books, but she wasn’t going to question the most powerful man in town.

Once she stepped foot outside, Mr. Gold wasted no time taking Belle’s arm and leading her the opposite way of her home. “I thought you were taking me home,” she said uncertainly, “It’s that way. The little bookstore on the corner of town.” She pointed toward the way they came, and then actually felt a little foolish for assuming that he knew where she lived to begin with. Yet, he hadn’t even asked.

Mr. Gold kept his eyes straight ahead, and his expression was serious, “Yes, but we must throw them off our tracks. I don’t want to lead them right where you live.”

Belle kept quiet, understanding his reasoning. However, he used the word they. Was more than one person following them?

They walked briskly, weaving between buildings, and switching directions frequently. They passed the little pawnshop on their way and for a brief moment Belle felt a tinge of guilt. She had never visited the shop, never really had a reason to, and had always been weary of its owner. Now he was going out of his way to make sure she, a strange girl he had just met, was safe.

Hearing a noise behind them, Belle knew whomever was following them was getting closer. She thought she saw another black thing come out of the wall. Letting her curiosity get the best of her, she made the mistake of looking back to try to catch a glimpse. Gasping loudly, she was not expecting to see what she saw. A massive black creature? Liquid? She wasn’t sure what, but whatever it was it was flowing faster and faster toward them, beginning to engulf the roadway behind them. It was swelling bigger and bigger. It appeared to take on the form of men, extended out of the black goop and reaching for them. Whatever that creature was, it was something magical and Belle was more worried than ever. Yet, as frightening as she was, she couldn’t take her eyes off of it. It was certainly something she had never seen before. And she always had an appetite for learning about new and out of the ordinary things.

As she watched it seemingly reach for them with it’s “hands”, it seemed Mr. Gold and her were picking up speed, floating up and away from the stuff. Wait. They were gaining height. Fast. But that wasn’t possible. However, it then occurred to her she could no longer feel her feet on the ground. Turning back around to see Mr. Gold, she startled. Gripping him harder than ever, she feared she was about to fall when she saw they were indeed floating hundreds of feet above the ground. The black liquid creature was no longer of any concern to her, only the height.

“Relax,” Mr. Gold told her reassuringly with a smile. He hooked his cane on his arm, freeing his other hand so he could wrap it around her waist. “Keep walking as you would normally.”

Belle obeyed, putting one foot in front of the other. Gradually she began to relax as she realized they weren’t going to fall. A smile filled her face. They were flying! How amazing! It was something of a dream. She had never imagined that she would be doing something like that, viewing the city from the sky. She could see everything: the buildings, the people, the trees, and the mountains. It was beautiful, the most breathtaking sight she had ever seen.

It was obvious the black creature couldn’t fly because it was no longer following them, no where in sight. She was thankful for that. Hopefully they had lost it…he…she…them. She still wasn’t sure and she didn’t feel comfortable enough to ask.

It wasn’t long before the balcony of her apartment came into view. As they began to descend toward it, their speed decreased. Mr. Gold took care to make sure Belle landed gently on her feet, he landing right behind her.

“I must apologize once more,” Mr. Gold said genuinely, “Stay in your home for the remainder of the evening to ensure they don’t find you.”

Belle nodded. As he let go of her, his hand slid down to meet hers. For a moment she thought he was going to kiss it again, but he only squeezed her hand, smiled, and flew away without another word, leaving her watching him longingly from the balcony.

She had the biggest smile on her face. It was like a dream come true. Yes, the circumstances could have been better. It wasn’t good that they were being chased, but she wouldn’t take it back for anything. For once, she had a little bit of excitement in her life. And to think it happened with Mr. Gold. Mr. Gold! He possessed magic. Magic!

It wasn’t out of the ordinary for a person to possess it, but Belle had no idea that Mr. Gold did. Maybe it was because he kept to himself all the time. Perhaps that was why? Did he even want others to know about it? Not that she would tell anyone. Yet, they were clearly flying over the rooftops of the entire town. People could obviously see them, so he must not want to keep it that much of a secret.

            Yet, somehow it did make sense. Mr. Gold owned the entire town. He was powerful, wealthy; it was only fitting that he practiced magic too. He definitely wasn’t who she had thought he was. There was more to Mr. Gold than met the eye and all the rumors she had ever heard about him she began to doubt. Yes, she had only known him for less than an hour, but everything he had done for her in that hour was not like the man of his reputation. He had saved her more than once. That wasn’t something a cold-hearted person would do.

After he was no longer in sight, Belle went inside, the smile never leaving her face. She made her way to her bedroom to dress for bed. It wasn’t quite time to go to sleep, but she was too excited to concentrate on working. Her mind couldn’t get over the events of the day and she couldn’t stop thinking about Mr. Gold. There was something more to him, some layer to him. And she was willing to admit to herself that she wanted to get to know this mysterious side of Mr. Gold, to unravel the layers, however many there may be.


	3. Chapter 3

It was nearing early afternoon the next day, and Belle had decided to take a break from her work. It was definitely out of the ordinary for her to do so, but she had never had any reason to. This day however she stopped early to go to the kitchen and prepare a lunch for two. Belle wanted to do something for Mr. Gold to show her gratitude for his actions the day before. And the only thing she could come up with was a nice meal that she would deliver personally to his shop.

The idea came to her the night before and it made it hard to sleep. She couldn't help but feel giddy and nervous all at the same time. She hadn't been in such a good mood in a while. For once, the morning hours went by terribly slow as she waited for lunchtime to arrive.

After waking up early that morning, Belle planned to have everything ready in enough time to make sure he didn't eat before she got there. The lunch she was preparing wasn't anything fancy, just turkey sandwiches, fresh fruit, a batch of croissants she had baked herself, and a few jams to go with them. She had always been an average cook, but her baking skills exceeded those of many. She hoped he liked them, but she couldn't be sure since she barely knew him.

As she finished, she placed the food in a small wicker picnic basket, covered the items with a blue cloth, and set them down on the table so she could get ready to go out. That day she put on the nicest dress she had. It was still simple like the rest, a purple knee length dress, with quarter sleeves. The material wasn't silk, but it did resemble it. Normally Belle wouldn't wear it because she never felt pretty enough, but she didn't want Mr. Gold to think she only dressed in rags. After pulling her brown curls partway up, she grabbed the basket of food, and was about to leave before her sister stopped her in the doorway. "Where are you going?" Adelaide snarled in disbelief.

"Yeah you rarely leave the shop," Felicie added. "Why aren't you back there working?"

Belle turned to face her sisters. Her eyes fell to the basket in her hands then to them, "Oh, uh, I just needed to deliver this to someone."

"Since when did you become a delivery girl?"

"I'm not. It's just a thank you gift, nothing more."

Her sisters both eyed her suspiciously. They knew Belle didn't have any friends. So, it was hard for them to believe that she wasn't up to something. Yet, they didn't say anything else and Belle was glad for once they were leaving it alone. Although she knew they would badger her about it again later, she wanted to leave before it was too late.

Belle walked briskly to get to the shop as fast as she could. Finding she felt paranoid on the way there, she kept checking behind her to make sure the black creature wasn't following her again. Nothing was there, so she tried not to dwell on it. However, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched. But she just attributed her paranoia to the previous day's events and the fact that she was going to see Mr. Gold. That was something no one did unless they were desperate. It would certainly be the talk of the town once word got out. Belle didn't care what the townspeople thought; she already knew they considered her to be odd. But it certainly would be aggravating if her family found out where she went before she could tell them herself.

Coming up on the pawnshop, Belle paused outside a second feeling more nervous than she had before. Would he even want to be thanked? Did he even want to see her? What if got angry that she came to visit? If that creature was following her again, then she could have led it right to him. But everyone knew where Mr. Gold's shop was. Still, part of her wanted to back out.

Standing there a moment, trying to gather her courage, she examined the little teal store. It sat alone on the corner of the block; a sign hung above the door that read "Mr. Gold's Pawnbroker & Antiques Dealer." There were two large windows on the front, but they were covered with curtains so no one could see inside. There was also a sign on the door that read open, so Belle knew he was in. She told herself she needed to do this; she wanted to do this.

Finally, Belle put her hand on the doorknob and pushed the door open. A little bell rang as she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. It was very dark inside, only enough light to see by, and Belle had to stand there to give her eyes time to adjust.

Once she could see, the first thing she noticed was how the entire shop was packed with a variety of items and antiques. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open as she gawked at everything. She had never seen so much in one place. Pictures lined the walls, jewelry filled the cases, and lamps hung from the ceiling; there were dolls, radios, musical instruments, and even a baby mobile. It seemed he owned everything a person could possible imagine. However, there was thing that was missing was Mr. Gold, or anyone else for that matter. "Hello?" She called out, but there was no answer.

For a second she thought she heard voices, and her attention was drawn to a doorway in the back of the shop covered with a purple drape. She assumed it led to another room and he was back there with someone else. The door was behind the counter though, so she didn't feel like she was allowed back there without permission. "Hello?" she called out again, this time a little louder, and this time getting an answer.

"May I help you?" Mr. Gold said neutrally as he stepped out from behind the curtain. When he saw Belle standing there he paused and looked astonished. "Miss French," he greeted with a small smile.

When he used her formal name rather than calling her by her first, Belle felt a bit of disappointment. He had been so friendly the day before why be so formal now? She tried not to think too much about it. After all it was custom for a man to use a woman's last name unless he was courting her. And Mr. Gold wasn't courting her.

He stood tall holding his cane in both hands in front of him. "What brings you in today? I do hope you've had no unwanted visitors?" There was concern in his voice, and Belle knew he was acquiring to whatever had been chasing them the day before.

"Oh no!" She said not wanting him to worry. She was about to tell him her reasons for being there, but she froze and bit her bottom lip. She couldn't seem to force the next words out of her mouth. Her courage had faded. Not knowing why, she was beginning to feel this might have been a bad idea. Perhaps it was just his surprised reaction that was making her worry. Somehow she had let herself think that he would expect her to come. But now she knew that was absurd. Why would he?

Despite her feelings, she was already there and she knew she would have to say something soon; otherwise she would look more foolish than she already did. Briefly, she pondered telling him that she had just came in to look around, but she knew he would never by it. This was the first time she had set foot in his shop. It would look suspicious to him. Especially since she was standing in the middle of his shop holding a picnic basket. Plus, she was still concerned that she might have angered him for seeking his company after the day before. He might think she was trying to lead the creature there.

Nervousness rose in her belly, especially when his eye's bore into her's as he waited for her response. Finally, she decided to just tell the truth, but she didn't look at him as she spoke, feeling too bashful. "I wanted to thank you again, for what you did for me yesterday." Holding up the basket of food, she spoke meekly, "I made you lunch. I…I hope you haven't eaten yet."

Her eye's met his finally, waiting for his reaction. But he didn't say anything. He just stood there, his face completely emotionless, as he kept his eyes on her. Belle had no idea what he was thinking, but she was sure he wasn't happy. Why wasn't he saying anything? Was he trying to make her uncomfortable? It was working if he was. Perhaps her instincts were right; this was a bad idea.

She considered just leaving the basket on the counter and bolting, feeling very insecure under his gaze-a gaze she couldn't hold any longer. Somehow she had done something wrong in coming here and now she was going to pay the price. Just as she was about to flee, she heard the tap of a cane and footsteps coming closer. Glancing up she saw Mr. Gold was slowly approaching her. His face still held no emotion, and she felt even more uncomfortable, unsure of what he was about to do. Yet, she held her ground, deciding not to take her eyes off his. Once he was just a few inches from her, he stopped, staring at her a moment longer before finally reaching up and grabbing the basket by the handle. The corner of his mouth quirked up, "How thoughtful. Thank you Miss French."

Belle released a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. Briefly, she thought he was being sarcastic, but as she looked up into his eyes, she knew his words were sincere. His deep brown eyes were so mesmerizing; when he was so close she couldn't look away like before. "You're welcome," she replied.

She wasn't quite sure what to do or say next. It occurred to her that she had handed him lunch, but failed to say it was a lunch for two. How would she look if she brought it up now? What if he wanted to eat alone? Perhaps he preferred it that way. She had been so excited all morning about coming here, that the thought hadn't even crossed her mind. She was regretting being so presumptuous. She should have just put enough food in there for one. If he wanted her company he would have asked for it. Then she remembered she had heard voices before. There must've been someone else there with him, still in the back room. If she left now, she could get away with the notion that she had packed the second portion in case he had another employee.

Moving away from her, Mr. Gold walked back over to the back counter and set the basket down, appearing like he didn't wanted to carry on a conversation. He was very hard to read, but Belle felt in a way he may have been dismissing her.

"I…uh…hope you enjoy it," she said at last, and then turned to walk out. As she meandered toward the exit, she frowned, unhappy with how this was playing out. It was upsetting her more than it should, which was something she couldn't explain. She had come to thank him, to give him a gift. What more did she want or expect? The answer was easy. She wanted him to invite her to stay so she could get to know him.

She could feel his eyes on her back as she walked away, but he wasn't stopping her. Maybe she had indeed angered him, he was just too polite to say something. Yet, she didn't want to find out. Feeling discouraged, she lifted her hand up, placed it on the doorknob, but paused when his voice rang out. "Were you not planning on joining me?" Mr. Gold asked.

"What?" Belle asked. She turned halfway around to look at him, optimistic that she hadn't misheard him.

The smile hadn't left his face. "You packed a lunch for two." He held up the second sandwich, "Was this not for you?"

Belle blushed and averted her gaze, "Oh yes, but I…I shouldn't have assumed. Your reaction…I thought maybe you just wanted to be alone. But I also heard voices when I came in, so I thought you would prefer to share with your coworker."

"There's no one here besides us. I have no coworkers. I run the shop alone." Mr. Gold motioned toward the back doorway. "I have a table in the back. Please after you."

Belle was confused when he said they were the only ones; she was certain she wasn't mistaken. But, she had no reason to doubt him, so she let it go. Nodding with a smile, she made her way to the door, trying to mask her joy. When she moved the cloth aside, she was unable to hold back her awe at the sight of the sheer amount of items that filled the back room. It was double the amount in the front one. Towering books stacked precariously in several spots, and bottles and other trinkets were strewn upon the worktables. Nothing was particularly organized either, making it look like there was more than there actually was.

As she took it all in, too focused to notice her immediate surroundings, her hip accidentally bumped a side table. In consequence, a tea set that was sitting there was knocked over, one of the blue rimmed white cups falling to the floor. "Oh!" she exclaimed, feeling horrible about being so clumsy and bent down to pick it up. Twirling it between her hands, she frowned when she saw she had chipped it. It was an antique, and that meant it had to be expensive. Turning to face Mr. Gold, who was standing right behind her, she held it out so he could see the chip in the rim. The sorrow was evident on her face, "I'm so sorry! It was an accident! I…I can pay for it!" She stuttered a little with her offer. She didn't have any money, but if he wanted her to pay, she would have to ask her father for the money. This would not be easy to explain.

Mr. Gold just stared at her, and then stepped closer. Setting the basket down on the table in the middle of the room, he reached out and gently took the cup from her hands. Sparks shot through her as his fingertips brushed against hers, but she ignored the sensation, more worried about his reaction even though he was still smiling. "It's just a cup," he told her as he set it back in its place. "I have plenty."

Belle was relieved, but she still felt bad for breaking it, "Please, let me at least pay for it."

"You're company is payment enough. A beautiful woman wanting to spend time with an old monster? As long as you don't make a habit of breaking my things, I'll have no complaints."

Belle was surprised he was being so understanding. And her heart swelled at his kind words, her face turning red again. She did that a lot around him. It was unlike her. And, although he was being sweet, there was one part of his comment she disliked. "You're not a monster."

Mr. Gold chuckled, "If you honestly believe that, then you obviously don't know who I am."

"I've heard the rumors. But that's exactly what they are rumors. No monster would do for me what you did yesterday." Belle spoke matter-of-factly. She wanted to make sure Mr. Gold knew she meant what she said. "No, Gaston was the real monster."

Mr. Gold stared at her a moment and pulled a chair out so she could sit. Belle could tell he was trying to figure her out; trying to determine if she really believed that. Belle just smiled and thanked him for the offered seat.

As Mr. Gold began unpacking the food he continued their conversation, "Perhaps you haven't heard the right rumors. Did you know I ask for first borns when a tenant can't pay?"

Belle laughed, "I must be getting my rumors mixed up then. I always thought it was the wizard Rumplestiltskin who required first borns in exchange for his services. Although I doubt that rumor is true either."

"Really? And how would you know? Have you met Rumplestiltskin?"

"Oh no! I just meant...well it just seems so ridiculous. Asking for children. People swear to it, but no one has ever known someone who has given their child to him. I think people make up their own stories when they encounter something or someone they don't understand. Rumplestiltskin is a very old and powerful wizard who rarely comes out of his castle, which moves around. It's very easy for legends about him to surface as the years go by, especially when he does nothing to show people what they believe isn't true."

"You seem to have you own opinions on people known to be monsters, including myself." He set out the last of the food and took his seat across from Belle. Both of them began to eat, speaking between bites.

"Well, I've always believed you can't tell what's in a person's heart until you truly know them." She didn't know what possessed her to do it, but she reached across the table and placed her hand atop of his. "I don't know Rumplestiltskin, probably never will. But I am getting to know you, and what I've seen so far is not a monster."

Mr. Gold's eyes stayed on their joined hands, and to Belle's relief he didn't pull away. For just a moment, he let his guard down and she could see the look of disbelief on his face.

"Thank you again, for yesterday," she said to break the silence, and then finally pulled her hand back so she could continue eating.

Mr. Gold's gaze lingered where her hand had been, but finally he composed himself putting his "mask" back on. "Yes, well like I said, it's no matter." He waved it off and concentrated on the food trying not to look at her.

Belle wondered if touching him was out of line. From his reaction she assumed he was unaccustomed to it. But had she upset him by doing so? After all, he had kissed her hand before. He didn't seem afraid of touch. Perhaps it was only okay if he initiated it.

They ate in silence for several minutes, Belle unsure of what to say. But she wanted to talk to him, so she worked up the courage to ask what she couldn't the day before. "That thing, the thing that was chasing us, what was it?"

"Henchmen, controlled by the Evil Queen."

Belle furrowed her brow, "The Evil Queen? You mean the witch Regina? I thought no one had heard from her in years?"

"You're right. But she's since returned seeking revenge on a woman named Snow White who has gone missing. No one knows what this woman did to the Queen, but she is furious."

"But what does this have to do with you? Do you know where Snow White is? Is that why she's after you?" Belle had never heard of Snow, but she had heard of Regina, and she knew she was bad news. The witch had done some pretty horrible things in the past; things Belle knew were not just rumors. One of those things included poisoning her own husband, King Leopold, which resulted in her banishment. Belle wasn't sure how she was able to return to Storybrooke, but she honestly didn't want to find out. She didn't want to have anything to do with the woman. It terrified her just thinking she had been so close to the Queen's Henchmen.

"No. Never met the girl. The Queen is looking to make a deal with me. However, she wouldn't agree to my terms, so I said no. Apparently she doesn't take rejection well, so she's been sending her Henchmen to stalk me."

Belle could tell there was more to the story, but the look on his face told her he wasn't going to explain further. She wanted to stay on his good side, so she chose not to push it.

"These croissants are delicious. Did you make them yourself?" Mr. Gold asked clearly wanting to change the subject.

Belle blushed, "Yes, this morning."

"So you enjoy cooking?"

"I'm not bad at it, but I really don't have a passion for it. I prefer my books. They are something I couldn't live without. What about you Mr. Gold? Do you have anything you're particularly passionate about?"

His gaze fell downward and he shook his head.

Belle didn't believe him, and she just continued smiling, "Nothing? Nothing at all?"

He looked back up at her, "I suppose there is one thing."

Belle leaned in slightly waiting for him to tell her. "Oh?"

He grinned wickedly, "Yes…my things!"

Belle startled a little, and then burst out into laughter assuming he was joking, "Yes, I suppose I can believe that!"

They continued with pleasant conversation over the next hour, long after they finished eating. And although Mr. Gold steered clear of any personal information about himself, dodging her questions whenever she asked, Belle felt like she knew him better.

"OH!" Belle exclaimed as she noticed the time, and stood abruptly, "I must get back to the shop!" She hadn't intended on staying that long. But she was enjoying herself so much, she had let time get away from her.

Mr. Gold stood as well to walk her to the door, "By all means."

Mr. Gold kept his hand on Belle's lower back as he escorted her to the front of the shop. She didn't mind at all. It brought a smile to her face. When they got to the door she turned around to face him so she could say goodbye hoping more than anything he would ask to see her again. But did he want that? Although it wasn't easy for her to tell what he was thinking, his mannerisms all afternoon told her yes.

She knew she had been giving him enough signals to show she was interested, at least in being friends. Not ever being involved with a man, or finding a man she cared enough about, made it hard for her to admit that she might want more. However, it wasn't proper for a woman to pine after a man. So she couldn't continue showing up at his shop, especially if he didn't invite her. Everything was in his hands now.

Facing him, he stood close to her, so close that for a moment Belle thought he might kiss her. His eyes did bolt from her eyes to her lips then back again. She wondered what it would be like to kiss Mr. Gold. She wondered what it would be like to kiss period. That was something she had never experienced, but if he tried she would let him. However, he never did. It didn't surprise Belle; it was a little soon. And like she told herself before, he wasn't courting her. So she didn't let herself feel disappointed it didn't happen.

Maybe he wasn't going to kiss her, but as she stood there staring up into his eyes, she was certain he was about to say something, invite her return, perhaps maybe even ask her on a date. This was the moment that would ensure they would see each other again. Yet, when he finally spoke, it was not what Belle was expecting, "Good afternoon Miss French," he said reaching around her to open the front door, "Perhaps one day we'll meet again. And if you happen to run into more trouble with the Henchmen, do not hesitate to call on me. I never meant to get you involved."

Belle did her best not to frown, his words entirely the opposite of what she wanted. "I…I will," she replied. She couldn't hold her composure much longer; frightened she'd burst out into tears right in front of him.

Managing a stiff goodbye, she turned and fled the little pawnshop, not looking forward to returning to work. Making her way back to the bookstore, she could feel tears forming in the corners of her eyes, but she held it together, not wanting to face tons of questions from her family when she returned. They were already going to hound her for being gone so long. They would be unbearable if she returned a sobbing mess. It wasn't easy, but she put on the best face she could, even managed a smile, and tried not to ponder why this had upset her so bad. Opening the front door to the bookstore, she braced herself to face her sisters, completely unaware of the eyes that had been on her the entire way there.


	4. Chapter 4

            Two nights. That was how long Belle spent crying over the incident with Mr. Gold. During the day she remained composed, but avoided her family as much as possible. At night, when she was alone, she could show her emotions, letting the tears flow freely. However, it was only for two nights. By the third she _wouldn’t_ let herself cry over it anymore. It was ridiculous to keep grieving over something she never had to begin with.

            Customers came to and fro, but since Belle worked in the back, she rarely interacted with them. She would overhear the conversations between them and her sisters sometimes, gossiping about useless things, but she mainly tried to keep her focus on her work. It was harder now, staying focused. Her mind would constantly wander to the mysterious Mr. Gold no matter how hard she tried to stop it. After a few days she had managed to think of him less, and it worked better when the book she was fixing required more concentration than most.

            After over a week had passed, she was almost back to normal. Although when she let her thoughts wander to that man, the sadness returned, but she made sure to stay busy to keep her mind off of him. As the days passed, she had made no other attempts to contact him, and neither did he. That only reinforced her conclusion that she had been imagining something between them. If he had wanted something more, then he would have come to call on her.

            That afternoon she was attempting to sew the binding of a very old book together. Any small mistake could ruin the delicate pages, so she had to be extra careful. Slowly, she moved the needle back and forth between the pages ignoring the hustle and bustle in the next room where the customers shopped. By late afternoon, it died down. Besides the occasional bickering between Adelaide and Felicie, it was pretty quiet.

            The day she had returned from lunch with Mr. Gold, her siblings had only harassed her a little. That was unusual for them, but they had just bought themselves several new fancy hats, and they were more concerned about their items than where their sister had been. Belle didn’t agree with the way they spent money on frivolous items they couldn’t afford in the first place, but she knew they wouldn’t listen to her if she said anything.

            Belle heard the front door of the shop open, along with the bell that told them they had a customer. Her sister’s voice didn’t ring out right away to greet the customer, but Belle didn’t think much about it. She kept her mind on the book. The only reason the customer caught her attention was because it was so quiet. As she pulled the needle through the binding once more, another sound--a very distinct one--caught her attention, startling her, and caused her to drop the book. The tap of a cane along with footsteps could clearly be heard crossing the shop. Belle remained calm, knowing that many people walked with canes. As she bent down to pick up the book, she cursed herself for letting herself believe that it was Mr. Gold walking in. It had been almost two weeks. Why would he come now? Why would he come at all?

            But then Felicie’s voice finally rang out and the tone of it was frightful, “Mr. Gold!”

Belle almost dropped the book again, this time catching it, but jabbing her finger with the needle in the process. It penetrated her palm very deeply and she pulled it out quickly without thinking. Once it was out, the wound began bleeding profusely. She scrambled to grab a towel to wrap it up with as she listened to the conversation in the other room.

“Uh,” Felicie continued nervously, “Wh..what are you doing here? My father’s not normally in the shop…if it’s him you’re looking for, if it’s the rent…”

            Mr. Gold held his hand up to stop her rambling, “I’m not here for the rent or to see your father.” He stepped up to the front counter and laid a very large book down. “I need to have this book repaired.”

            “Oh, yes, of course! Belle handles the repairs.” She turned to face the door that led to the workroom, “Belle! You have a customer!”

            Belle froze in place. This wasn’t happening to her. This couldn’t be happening to her. This had to be a dream. Mr. Gold was not standing just outside the door. Except he was.

She shivered in fear. How was she ever going to face him? At this point, she didn’t want to. If she looked into those dark brown eyes again, she didn’t know if she could hold it together. Whether she would get angry and yell at him or burst into tears she didn’t know. But she had to stay strong. Not only would her sisters be watching, but also Mr. Gold had done nothing to deserve an emotional outrage.

            Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to smile, and stepped out into the front room. “Hello, Mr. Gold,” she greeted.

            “Miss French,” Mr. Gold replied with a warm smile, “I hope you are well.”

            Belle nodded, using all her energy to remain collected. It was more difficult now that she was face to face with him. He looked just as immaculate as ever, dressed in his usual expensive suit. His outfit was perfect, not a wrinkle or piece of lint in sight and not one hair on his head was out of place. Did he always dress this way? Did he always pay this much attention to how he looked? Belle could never recall seeing him in anything else the few times she had seen him in public. But it wasn’t like she minded. She couldn’t imagine him any other way. And she enjoyed the way he dressed. It made him look… She immediately pushed those dangerous thoughts from her mind, and stood stoic. “What can I help you with?” she asked politely.

            He stared at her a moment before replying causing Belle to wonder what he was thinking. “I hear you are very talented when it comes to book repair. I came by to see if you could do anything with this.” He held up the book. “It’s very valuable, but I’m afraid it’s no good to me in this condition.”

            “Of course,” Belle replied glancing down at the book in his hands. She went to reach for it then remembered she was still clenching the bloody cloth in her wounded hand. Quickly she pulled back. It would be horrible if she were to get blood on Mr. Gold’s book. Bloodstains were not easy to remove. If she ruined it, she knew she couldn’t pay for the book if it was as valuable as he said.

            “Is something wrong Miss French?” Mr. Gold asked with concern.

            She frowned unintentionally. She wished he would stop calling her that. Although she knew it was proper, she didn’t care. Miss French did not sound right on his tongue. He had called her Belle once and that’s what she wanted him to call her now. Realizing she had been silent for an extended period of time and he was patiently waiting for an answer, she moved her hand where he could see the cloth she was holding against her cut, “Oh, uh, I cut my finger a moment ago. I don’t want to get any blood on your book.”

            “It’s bleeding quite badly,” he observed, “You should tend to it.”

            “Yes, I will.” She looked up at him, but her attention turned to her sisters standing behind the counter watching them intently. And now her brother was there too. When did he come in? She didn’t hear the bell on the door. Then again she was distracted. Not wanting to give them a show, she motioned toward her workroom, “Uh, if you step in here, I can take care of this, then look at your book.”

            Mr. Gold nodded, following her into the room.

            Belle closed the door behind him, but not all the way, leaving a large enough crack so her family didn’t think something inappropriate was going on. She was relieved once they were alone; to know they were no longer exposed to scrutiny. She knew once that Mr. Gold was gone, her sisters were going to bombard her, so she was relieved she could interact with him alone for the time being.

            Belle stood there at the door twisting her hands together, unsure of what to do or say next. She watched as he glanced around the room, taking in the copious amounts of books stacked all around the room. When he turned to look at her, their eyes met and she found she couldn’t look away. She was drawn to those deep brown orbs. There was so much mystery in them, so many layers. And as much as she tried to deny it, she wanted to uncover them.

            His eyes floated downward, then back up at her, looking at her expectantly.

            She furrowed her brow, not knowing what he wanted her to do.

            He glanced down again, then the corner of his lip quirked up, “Miss French.”

            “Yes?”

            “Your hand.” He pointed toward her wounded hand, which was now dripping blood onto the floor.

            “Oh…OH!” Belle exclaimed. Mr. Gold was distracting her so much, she had forgotten all about it. “Excuse me a moment.”

She moved to step around him to go to the bathroom, but he stopped her, grabbing hold of her arm with his free hand. “There’s no need,” he said, sitting the book down and leaning his cane against the wall. “I’ll take care of it.”

            Belle looked at him questionably. Then her breath hitched as he gently put her wounded hand in his, moving the soiled cloth aside. Slowly he hovered his other hand above her injury and it began fading away until it disappeared completely, leaving behind fresh creamy skin.

            Her eyes were glued on her hand, gawking at the magic he had just performed before her. The wound was gone, completely gone, along with all the blood. Although, a small tingling sensation remained, her hand no longer hurt. It was amazing. Magic was incredible. She wanted to know more. There were tons of questions she wanted to ask him.

            Yet, she forced herself to stay silent. She had spent days grieving over this man because she thought he wanted nothing to do with her. Just when she was beginning to get over it, he showed up and healed her hand when it was unnecessary. It seemed he was sending her mixed signals. What was his game? She didn’t know, but she wasn’t going to play it.

“Thank you,” she managed to say, tugging her hand from his irritably while averting eye contact. She didn’t mean let her aggravation show, but it did.

He looked at her confused by her sudden change of mood. She knew she had to change the subject quickly before he inquired as to what was the matter. She wasn’t going to let him get to her again, and the longer he stayed, the easier that could happen. He had to leave. The book on the counter caught her eye. “What is wrong with it?” she asked, running her hand over the cover now that it was healed and clean.

            “I’m sorry?” Mr. Gold asked, seemingly dazed.

            “The book. What’s wrong with it?”

            “Oh, yes.” He stepped up next to her to show her the damage. “There’s a very large rip in the back cover. And here, some of the pages are separating.”

            Belle nodded keeping her gaze on the book. “Shouldn’t take me very long to repair. You can pick it up in two days.”

            “I’m afraid I will be busy the next few days, so I won’t be able to come by. But if you could just bring it by the shop whenever you’ve finished, it would be much appreciated.” He paused, and then quickly added, “I’d pay you of course.”

            Belle turned to face him, the annoyance clear in her features. She didn’t want to go by his shop. Not after he brushed her off last time. No. This was part of his game, the game she wasn’t going to play. What did he want from her?

            However, before she denied him, she took a moment to think before she spoke. She had to remind herself that she only imagined something between them. He was only being a gentleman when he saved her from Gaston, and he did so again with her hand. She had never been around anyone who could perform magic before. Although she could have easily bandaged her hand, perhaps it was proper etiquette to offer the help of magic. He had shown her nothing but kindness. There was no reason for her to be angry at him. And there was no reason for her to deny his very reasonable request. Silently she chastised herself for believing he had an ulterior motive. Not only did she owe him for his benevolence, but he was also a paying customer. If he wanted her to deliver the book, she would deliver the book. Calming herself, she managed a smile, “Very well. Would Wednesday afternoon work for you?”

            Mr. Gold returned her smile. “That would be fine. I’ll see you then. Good day Miss French.” He opened the door to leave, flashing her yet another smile before he stepped out.

            Belle nodded at him, but didn’t say another word. She was already angry with him, something she shouldn’t be, and just hearing him call her Miss French again was making it worse. Standing there frozen, she waited until she heard the last thump of his cane along with the bell on the front, before she began breathing again. Leaning her head back against the wall, she closed her eyes trying to gather herself. Her heart was beating rapidly, she was sweating, and, apparently, she had been holding her breath almost the entire time.

            What was the matter with her? Why did this man rile her up so? Even though she knew it was unreasonable, she was still angry with him.

            Yet, she didn’t have much time alone with her thoughts, for almost the instant Mr. Gold was out the door, Ludovic burst in the room, “Belle! What do you think you are doing, associating with that man?”

            Belle straightened, keeping her face neutral. “He needed his book repaired.” She pointed to the large book on the counter Mr. Gold had left behind.

            Ludovic gave it a side glance, but no more. “Yes, but I think he wanted more.”

            Belle’s heartbeat quickened with those words, wishing they were true.

            “Ruby at the diner said she saw you several days ago, on the balcony, _your_ balcony with Mr. Gold. Belle, please tell me you're not getting mixed up with the likes of him. You didn't make a deal with him did you?" Her brother’s eyebrows creased in worry.

"No!" Belle immediately replied, "It's not like that. The day of parade Gaston cornered me; there was no way to escape. Mr. Gold saw I was in trouble and offered assistance. He escorted me home to ensure my safety."

Her brother believed her; he knew how Gaston could be. Still that was unlike Mr. Gold. "But why would he do that?"

"I don't know, perhaps he's not the monster everyone claims him to be."

Ludovic didn't like the tone in Belle’s voice. She spoke dreamily, like she actually believed Mr. Gold to be good. "Just be careful Belle.  He may have saved you from Gaston, but he's no better than Gaston. He’s dangerous. Almost as dangerous as the wizard Rumplestiltskin. That wizard would eat your heart, and that man would tear it out to feed it to him."

            Belle nodded. The pang in her chest made it feel like her heart had already been ripped out, but there was no way she was going to tell him that. “Believe me. There is nothing going on between me and Mr. Gold.” She spoke truthfully, telling her brother something she had told herself over and over again since that day she shared lunch with Mr. Gold. But it was another thing entirely to say it out loud to someone else, and she did well to hold back the tears until her brother retreated.


	5. Chapter 5

Belle was angry. Very angry. What made it worse was that she didn’t feel like she even had a reason to be upset. Mr. Gold had been a perfect gentleman on several occasions, saved her from a horrible fate, and the only thing she could manage to do was be angry with him. Nevertheless, she was still infuriated. She couldn’t help it. She felt something for the man, something she didn’t understand, something she tried to ignore but failed to. And she had convinced herself it was impossible he felt anything for her. If he did then he would have indicated he wanted to be more than friends. Yet, he hadn’t. Or had he?      

The day she had brought him lunch she was sure there was something more between them. The way he spoke, his mannerisms around her, all told her so. But he never asked if he could see her again; he never attempted to visit. That was, not until he brought a book to her shop almost two weeks later. Yet, he only came on business. Or did he?

It occurred to Belle that he could’ve just used magic to repair the book. Why bring it to her instead? Maybe he really did want to see her again… NO! she reminded herself. It was just wishful thinking. Her desires were morphing the situation into something that it wasn’t. Besides, she didn’t know much about magic. There must have been some unknown reason that made him decide not to use it. But if there wasn’t, then she was positive he was playing some sort of game.

Belle put off fixing Mr. Gold’s book until the next day. Every time she so much as glanced at it her emotions would get the best of her, so she focused on other things. However, she knew she wouldn’t be able to put it off for long. If it wasn’t delivered on time as promised, she was uncertain how Mr. Gold would react.

After sleeping on it she felt a little better; her anger had transformed into depression. Considering she was already depressed before Mr. Gold walked into her life, she felt it was an improvement.

However, once she began working on his book, to her surprise her mood improved. Books always cheered her up, but she hadn’t expected Mr. Gold’s to because it reminded her of him. Yet, the book he had brought her was one of the most amazing books she had ever come across. Not only was it one of the oldest books she had ever seen, but it was also the most unique. Titled “Once Upon a Time,” it was a massive leather-bound coffee table book filled with the classic fairy tales.

Giving it a quick glance through, she discovered there were versions of the tales unlike any she had ever read before. It contained stories like Little Red Riding hood, where Red was actually the wolf, told how Jiminy Cricket became the little guiding insect, and there was even a tale about an eighth dwarf called Stealthy.  

Not only were the stories odd, but all the characters lives seemed to intertwine with one another. Cinderella’s fairy god mother was killed by Rumplestiltskin causing the princess to offer her first born in return for a night in the castle with her prince.   Belle laughed inwardly at the mention of Rumplestiltskin. He was in many of the stories, causing mischief mostly, making deals, and it only made her think of Rumplestiltskin of the Dark Castle. Many of the tales she grew up hearing about Rumplestiltskin were similar to the ones in this book. The rumors were old and so was this book. It occurred to her that she could be holding the very book the rumors were based off of. That would make it very valuable indeed.

Wanting to know more, she longed more than anything to relax and read through the whole thing, but she knew she wouldn’t have time. Even with as fast as she could read—and she could read very fast—she was certain she could not finish it before she had to return it. And she desperately wanted to read it.

She briefly considered buying it to keep for herself after she restored it. She would be able to read it as much as she wanted if it was hers. Then again she had no idea where she would come up with the money. Any extra money she made she always used to help her father. Her family came first; her desires could wait.

Perhaps she could purchase it some other way. Mr. Gold’s shop had been one insanely cluttered mess. Maybe he would be amiable to allowing her to clean and organize it. Quickly she eliminated that notion from her mind. Mr. Gold had caused her enough heartache already. She didn’t think she could stay sane if she were to work for the man, to be around him all day. Her anxiety was already surfacing as she thought about having to just deliver the book. No, there wasn’t any way she could knew of that would allow her to be able to purchase the book. She would just have to be satisfied with the pleasure of being able to restore such a remarkable book.

Once Wednesday finally arrived, Belle was barely able to keep it together. No more tears had been shed, but she was very apprehensive about seeing Mr. Gold again. Why did she have to say yes to delivering the book? She could have come up with an excuse and ensured she was out the day he came to retrieve it. But no, that wasn’t her nature. And she couldn’t deny that part of her _wanted_ to see him again no matter how much she thought it was for naught.

            Stepping up to the little pawnshop door, Belle took a deep breath, but didn’t hesitate long before pushing the door open. She just wanted to get this over with and get back to her life. That was, as long as he didn’t show back up again.

The little bell rang above the door just like last time, and the smell of something delicious—chicken she guessed--filled her nose. ‘Mr. Gold must be eating lunch,’ she thought.

Once inside, Mr. Gold was nowhere to be seen, but unlike her previous visit she didn’t have to call out to alert him of her presence. Almost instantly he popped out from the back room. His eyes brightened once he saw it was her, and Belle couldn’t help but wonder if he had been waiting for her top arrive.

“Belle,” he greeted with a warm smile.

Belle almost gasped, but suppressed it. He used her name, her first name! But why did he do that? She tried not to look too surprised or hopeful. It didn’t mean anything. She knew it didn’t mean anything. It had to have been a slip up. “Mr. Gold,” she replied. She offered him a smile in return, one that unintentionally held a hint of sadness. Wanting to avoid chit chat so she could leave as soon as possible, she held up the book. “I’m returning your book, just as you requested.”

His eyes flashed to the book then back to her face. “Yes, yes of course.” He paused a moment; he seemed nervous about something. “Uh…” he stuttered averting his eyes. He seemed deep in thought, internally trying to decide something. One of his hands was on his cane, while the other was clenched together like he was trying to will it to do something.

Belle tilted her head curiously. This was very unlike the Mr. Gold she knew. He was _never_ the one to break eye contact and he _always_ was composed and confident. What had she done to cause that reaction?   Deciding to break the silence, and not prolong this anymore, she stepped up to the counter. “I can just set it right here.”

Mr. Gold held up his hand to stop her, “Actually, bring it in the back room while I retrieve your money.”

Belle nodded, clutching the book to her chest, following him as he led the way. This seemed unnecessary, she could have just waited there for him, but she wasn’t going to argue.

Moving the curtain aside, the scent of whatever he was having for lunch became stronger, causing Belle’s mouth to water. She hadn’t eaten yet that day—too nervous thinking about this meeting—so she had to force herself not to glance over at the little table in the corner where she knew the food was. But it wasn’t easy, and as she waited for Mr. Gold, she found her gaze slowly drifting over to the table. It was full of food, very delicious looking food—chicken as she had suspected, along with sides such as potatoes and mixed vegetables--but the only thing she could focus on was that it was set for two.

Was the other place setting meant for her? Mr. Gold had insisted before that he had no other employees, that he was always in the shop alone unless he had customers. Who else could it be for? She tried to ignore it, but something else caught her eye. The cup she had chipped was placed near Mr. Gold’s seat. It was obvious he had been using it. But why? Her heart swelled in her chest. Could it be?

She turned back to Mr. Gold who was writing in his checkbook. Trying not to get her hopes up she forced herself to center her mind on something else. The book, yes, the book was a good choice. She couldn’t deny her desire to know more about it and Mr. Gold was most likely the only one who could tell her.

She had sworn to herself that she wouldn’t strike up small talk, that she would just get in and get out as fast as she could, but she was so intrigued by the book he had let her repair. Wanting to know more about such a wonder, she let her curiosity get the best of her. “So this is a very unique book,” she started, “Where did you get it?”

“Procured it in a deal. I’ve had it for quite some time now.” Mr. Gold replied, brushing it off.

Belle nodded; a little disappointed he didn’t go into more detail. “Well the stories in it, the fairy tales, they’re unlike any version I’ve ever read before. So fascinating.” The passion in her voice was unmistakable.

Mr. Gold cocked an eyebrow at her. “You managed to read that entire book in such a short amount of time?”

“I do love books,” she said dreamily while stroking the cover, “But no, only a few of them. What I read though…it was captivating!”

Mr. Gold watched her carefully, a small smile upon his face. Belle felt a blush creeping up and it only got worse as he stepped closer to her. She had no idea what he was doing or thinking and it made her uneasy, but she kept her eyes focused on his. She was getting better at holding eye contact. Slowly he reached forward toward the book—she assumed he was taking it from her—but instead of grabbing it and pulling it away, he nudged it toward her. “If you like it so much, then it’s yours.”

Belle gasped, “Oh! No! I mean, I would love to have it, but I’m sorry, I don’t have any money.” She held the book out for him.

Mr. Gold still didn’t take it. He held up his hand to wave it off and shook his head. “No matter. I meant it as a gift.”

“A gift?” Belle was sure she hadn’t heard him correctly. He had already done so much for her already. Why would he give her a gift? Much less such an expensive gift?

“Yes, a gift.”

Belle’s gaze fell downward and her mouth was slightly hanging open. She didn’t know what to think or how to feel about this. It was completely unexpected and it made those feelings surface that she had tried so hard to bury.

Hugging the book up against her chest tightly, she opened her mouth to say thank you, but no words would come out. This was one of the most wonderful gifts she had ever received and somehow she couldn’t force herself to say thank you. It wasn’t that she wasn’t grateful—she was—but her feelings for Mr. Gold were impairing her decision making. She really should have been expressing her appreciation; she tried very hard to force the words to come out of her mouth, but they never did. Unable to hold back any longer, she burst into tears.

Mr. Gold frowned and instinctively reached up to touch her shoulder. “What’s wrong?” he asked both confused and concerned.

Belle shoved away from his touch. She looked up at him angrily, unable to conceal her feelings anymore. “Why are you doing this? What do you want? I don’t understand!” she yelled furiously through her tears.

Mr. Gold was completely taken aback by her reaction, but Belle would have never known it to look at him. He remained cool and collected just as always. “What is it you don’t understand Miss French?” he asked calmly.

Belle glared at him. “Don’t call me Miss French! I hate that! Belle! My name is Belle!”

A small smile appeared on Mr. Gold’s face as he watched her. It only made Belle angrier. The book was digging into her chest now; she was gripping it so hard. Did he think this was funny? Was this part of his game? No more games. She was going to find out what was going on once and for all.

Glancing up to let him have it, she realized he had inched closer to her without her knowledge. He was standing merely a couple of inches away staring down at her tear-streaked face. He looked more intimidating than ever and Belle knew if she looked away she would lose her courage to say what she wanted to say.

Just as she was about to inquire about his intentions, his hand came up to cup the side of her face, his thumb wiping away a tear. The action caused her mind to go blank, to momentarily forget about her anger. His touch was so gentle, so caring, just like the day he healed her hand. And his eyes, his gorgeous, mysterious deep dark brown eyes…she couldn’t look away, nor did she want to. And he still had that smug smile on his face. What was he thinking?

“ _Belle_ ,” Mr. Gold said softly. “You know, your beauty shines brighter when you’re angry.”

The use of her name barely phased Belle even though that was what she had desired. Instead, she focused more on his last comment, his comment about her beauty. She never thought herself to be beautiful and Mr. Gold seemed to make it a point that she was. It only fueled the fire. “And another thing...” she began but never finished. _I’m not beautiful_. That’s what she meant to say, but the words never escaped her lips.

In that moment she could no longer speak because her lips were busy doing other things. She had been so enraptured in Mr. Gold’s eyes, and so focused on her anger, that she hadn’t noticed when his face had swooped down to meet hers, their lips locking into one, halting her from continuing her sentence.

Briefly, Belle’s eyes widened in surprise. It took her a second to realize what was going on. He was kissing her! He really was kissing her! Could this mean? Belle tried to ignore her thoughts, intent on focusing on the kiss. She had never kissed anyone before, so she knew she already wasn’t good at it. She didn’t want to make it worse by just standing there like a fool. And she certainly didn’t want him to think she didn’t want it all because she didn’t kiss him back.

Her eyelids drifted shut finally, and she leaned in towards him letting her lips move against his. Slowly, her left hand lifted up to rest on his shoulder. She allowed herself to melt into him and although the kiss didn’t last very long, nor was it very deep, she enjoyed it very much. It was not how she imagined her first kiss: angry, surprised, and a little salty because her face was drenched in tears, but she wouldn’t change it.

As Mr. Gold pulled away, Belle immediately felt the loss, longing for more. It took her a moment to organize her thoughts, tons of questions racing through her mind. As her eyes eased opened, she planned to ask him what it all meant, but she didn’t have to.

Mr. Gold spoke first, smiling down at her as he did so, “It seems I’ve unintentionally upset you. I must apologize for my actions, but it was essential I keep my distance after the Queen’s Henchmen set their sights on you the day of the parade. My intent was to stay away longer for your safety, until they thought you were no longer a threat. However, it was difficult. I didn’t want to stay away. And I felt the longer I did, the more I’d push you away. Obviously I was correct.”

Belle wasn’t sure what to do or what to say after hearing those words. So there in fact been something between them, something that wasn’t one sided! Belle was so ecstatic. She had wanted this to be true so bad, that briefly she wondered if it was only a dream. But it wasn’t a dream. This was real. Mr. Gold had kissed her and he had expressed his interest in courting her.

Tears of joy welled up in her eyes. Seeing them, Mr. Gold misunderstood and panicked. Fearing he had done or said something wrong, he pulled away from her, putting some distance between them. “I’m sorry if the kiss was unwanted. I didn’t mean to take liberty,” he apologized.

“Oh no!” Belle exclaimed, quickly closing the distance between them again, “It was wanted!” She blushed, realizing how forward she was being, something that was very unlike her. “I mean…it was just unexpected. I didn’t think you felt for me in that way.”

Mr. Gold appeared to relax, offering her a warm smile. They stood there in silence, just gazing at one another, for what felt to Belle to be like hours when in actuality it was only minutes. A low growl knocked them out of their stupor, Belle becoming bashful as she realized it was her stomach growling.

Mr. Gold only chuckled, “I was hoping you hadn’t eaten,” he pointed toward the food Belle had drooled over earlier, “I prepared a lunch hoping you would be willing to join me.”

Belle grinned. So she was right, the extra setting was for her. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Well, I needed a reason to entice you into keeping this old monster company.”

Her grin faded. “I told you before you’re not a monster. And if you wanted me around, then you only needed to ask.”

Mr. Gold nodded. “Then you’ll join me?”

“I’d love to.”

Mr. Gold helped Belle to her seat, before sitting himself. While they enjoyed the lovely meal he had prepared, they engaged in idle chitchat, but Belle was barely able to come up with anything to talk about. She was still in disbelief that all of this was real and was trying to wrap her mind around the fact that something she had so desperately wanted was actually happening to her.

Whenever their eyes met between bites, her cheeks flushed causing her to look away. Her thoughts focused on their kiss, her first kiss, and she wondered if he had been able to tell. She didn’t want him to think she was as inexperienced as she was; he was much older than her, it was only inevitable he was more practiced. But then again, his reputation was very strong and not a good one at that. Most people didn’t want to have anything to do with him. If people didn’t want to interact with him, they most certainly didn’t want to date him. Even her sisters, who would marry a rich man in an instant, wouldn’t go near the man without necessity. And Mr. Gold was worth a fortune.

Oh gods…what if he thought she only wanted him for his money? It was far from the truth, but he did business with her father. He would know they barely had the means to get by. Also, her whole family was known for their frivolous spending; her sisters with their shopping, and her brother and father with their gambling. Belle frowned. She didn’t want Mr. Gold to think anything of the sorts. She was not after money.

“Something wrong?” Mr. Gold asked noticing her grimace.

“No!” Belle said immediately coming away from her thoughts. She glanced at the clock. “It’s almost time for me to leave. If I don’t return to the shop soon my sisters will…worry.” Worry wasn’t really the right word, but if she used another she would definitely have to explain her relationship with her family. She would tell him, but now was not the time.

Without objection, Mr. Gold set his napkin down, then stood and walked around the table to assist her. Belle took his offered hand, not letting go as he walked her to the front door.

Turning to face him, Belle smiled brightly waiting for him to speak first, unsure of where to go from here. Mr. Gold looked a little unsure of himself as well. Belle thought perhaps he was in just as much disbelief as she.

“I would, uh, offer to escort you home, but I’m certain you’re not ready to be seen with the town monster.”

“I don’t care what the townspeople think. They already call me odd.” She paused, “But my family, I need to tell them first. And I don’t think the best way to do that would be showing up at the shop with you.”

“I understand. Will you join me for dinner tomorrow night? Here at the shop of course.”

Belle grinned, “Of course! I’ll come as soon as I close up.”

Mr. Gold returned her smile and reached up to cup her face. Belle closed her eyes momentarily, enjoying the feel of his skin against hers before he bent down to press his lips against hers. This time she wasn’t taken by surprise and was more prepared. She returned the kiss, their lips moving in sync with each other. This kiss was sweet and lasted longer than the last one. And it was better now that it didn’t taste like tears. Belle didn’t want it to end even though she knew it had to. But she could get used to this. Yes, very used to this.

Breaking away finally, Mr. Gold spoke softly, “I will see you tomorrow evening then.” He hesitated, and then his voice shook as he continued, “But I’ll understand if you change your mind.”

Change her mind? Did he have doubts that she wanted him? She knew with all her heart that this was what she wanted. There were no doubts. If he believed that, she would just have to show him he was wrong. She gripped his hand reassuringly. “Tomorrow,” she promised. “I _will_ see you tomorrow.” And with that she left the little pawn shop, happier than she had been in a very long time. Feelings were swelling in her that she had never known existed and she couldn’t wait until the next day when she could visit her Mr. Gold again.


	6. Chapter 6

It all seemed too good to be true. Mr. Gold had romantic feelings for Belle! She hadn’t imagined it! And she almost couldn't believe it. It was like a dream come true, a dream she didn’t even know she had. It had only been moments since she left his shop. She had barely made it halfway back to the bookstore, but already it felt like it had been hours since she was with Mr. Gold.

After leaving the pawnshop, Belle could feel eyes on her; she knew onlookers were wondering what the odd little bookworm could possibly be doing at Mr. Gold’s. And why she would possibly emerge from that place with such a huge smile on her face. There were even a few whispering to each other, but Belle didn’t care; she didn’t even glance their way. It was none of their business. Let them gossip. She wasn’t going to let anything or anyone spoil her mood.

Perhaps she should have cared, she considered briefly. She surely didn’t want her family to find out about Mr. Gold from someone else. She wanted to be the one to tell them. But the thought of doing that was frightening because although she wouldn’t let their feelings persuade her decision, she was certain she would experience a lot of ridicule from them. She was accustomed to ridicule from her siblings, so that didn’t worry her too much. No it was mainly her father—Maurice—she was concerned about. He may have made some horrible decisions in his life with the gambling and drinking, but she knew he cared deeply for her and wouldn’t want to see her hurt. Belle didn’t think Mr. Gold would hurt her, but she knew Maurice wouldn’t see it that way. Not with Mr. Gold’s reputation.

Ideally Belle wished she could put off telling them and allow an opportunity for Mr. Gold to prove to them he wasn’t as bad as people said. Then perhaps she could gain her father’s blessing. But with the way people gossiped in Storybrooke, Belle knew they would find out sooner rather than later. Especially if Ruby, the widow Lucas' granddaughter who ran the diner across the street from the bookstore, found out.  Ruby had the biggest mouth in town and she always hung around with Ludovic.  He would know before her father or sisters.

So Belle knew it would be impossible to put off telling them. Yet, she decided she wouldn’t tell them that evening. She had only been on one date with Mr. Gold, if she could really call it a date. And although they may have kissed, there was always the possibility it could go nowhere. By gods she hoped not, but still, it was too early to tell. She didn’t want to cause an unnecessary scene with her family.

            The townspeople had indeed seen her in the pawnshop, but they didn’t see anything incriminating. And her sisters already knew she was delivering a book to Mr. Gold. It would all be innocent in their eyes, no matter what the gossip. But she was returning with the same book she was supposed to deliver. A gift, how would she explain that? They would know she didn’t buy it. She wasn’t fond of lying, so she just prayed they wouldn’t notice.

            By the time she stepped up to the shop door, Belle had managed to ignore any pair of eyes that had been on her. Since the bookstore was a fair distance away from the pawnshop, most stares had dissipated by the time she arrived. Still, there was one pair of eyes in particular that had been watching her keenly, whose owner slunk behind the building corner as soon as she was inside. Shrinking in size, the spectator slid over to a nearby carriage where a small glass jar sat heedlessly on the ground. The black blob slithered up the side of the jar and under the lid. Once inside, a hand adorned with jewels and bright red fingernail polish picked the jar up, withdrawing it into the carriage. The person inside ensured the curtains remained shut as to not reveal who was behind them. Once settled, the carriage lifted up and drove off.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

            As Belle entered the bookstore, she was too ecstatic, too happy to even try and conceal her feelings. She knew being in such a good mood would seem out of the ordinary to her sisters, but she did not care. They would just have to drill her.

            Expecting to immediately be bombarded with questions, Belle was shocked when that wasn't what happened. Instead she found her sisters occupied amongst themselves, chatting and seemingly getting ready for something. They didn't even look up at her when she walked in.

            "Felicie?" Belle queried, wondering what was going on.

            Felicie looked up instantly, smiling with relief. "Oh Belle! You're back!" she exclaimed.

            "Finally," Adelaide breathed, annoyance in her tone of voice.

            Belle scrunched her eyebrows as she looked between her two sisters. She hadn't thought she was gone that long, definitely not long enough to get this kind of reaction. Usually they didn’t care whether she was there or not. Not unless they wanted something.

            "We just found out we're invited to Kathryn Nolan's party tonight," Felicie explained.

            Yes, they wanted something. And Belle knew exactly what it was. They expected her to stay and close up the shop all by herself while they went out to purchase new clothes for the party. And although they would open the bookstore as usual tomorrow, Belle knew they would be useless after staying up all night doing who knew what at that ridiculous party.

The Nolans were known for their expensive, extravagant parties. They threw one almost every month. It was a wonder anyone could afford such frivolities, but Kathryn's father, Midas, was a king in a neighboring country who somehow had accumulated more riches than any other royal who ever lived.  

            "Yeah, and since you took so long, we don't have much time to shop before all the stores close!" Adelaide was very irritated, but that wasn't unusual. Belle ignored her snide comment. An argument would ensue if she was to reply, and she would still end up in the wrong no matter what.

            "I hope you don't have any other errands. We need you to close up shop." Felicie requested, nicer than Adelaide, but there was still expectation in her voice.

            "No, it's fine. You go. I can handle the shop," Belle replied, too happy about Mr. Gold to care that they didn’t even consider her feelings. She wouldn't have gone to the party anyway, but she wished her sisters would be a little more selfless.

            The two girls squealed and were out the door in the blink of an eye.

            It didn’t bother Belle that she was left alone to run the store. She honestly preferred it that way. At least she wouldn’t have to put up with her sisters’ excessive questions. She wasn’t sure if she could hold her tongue about Mr. Gold if they were there.

She spent the remainder of the evening working in the front of the shop since it was by herself. A few customers came in every so often, but nothing she couldn’t handle. She hadn’t expected to have many in the first place. Now that the soldiers had shipped out, the town was almost deserted.

While being alone had its advantages, it made the time go by so slowly. All she could think about was Mr. Gold and seeing him the next day. It was like it would never come.  

Oh! She realized with a start. It hadn’t occurred to her before, but as she thought about Mr. Gold she realized _she didn’t even know his first name._ By gods, how could she be this entranced with a man when she didn’t even know his name?! A blush crept up on her face. Luckily there was no one around to see. But how could she have not even thought to ask? And if she wanted to know she would have to ask. He didn’t seem too inclined to tell. She couldn’t go on calling him Mr. Gold…at least she didn’t want to. It was too impersonal. ‘Well,’ she thought, ‘I will just have to ask him first thing tomorrow.’ Suddenly the thought of seeing him made her nervous. How embarrassing it would be to ask for his name after everything.

            When the clock finally struck eight, Belle was relieved she could close up so she could prepare for her date the next day. Putting away the last books in their place on the shelf, Belle was about to turn out the lights and head out the side door when she heard the bell at the front door ding as the door opened. The sound of footsteps followed.

            Belle froze in place, nervous. She was certain she had locked the front door. How did this person get in? She knew it wasn’t any of her family. They wouldn’t use the front door after hours. And there was no way her sisters would ever leave a party early.

Did someone break in? Though, it didn’t sound like the door was forced. Perhaps she hadn’t locked it. Still, as a precaution, she grabbed the nearest thing she could find that she could use as a weapon. It was only an umbrella, but it would have to do.

            Slowly she crept out from behind the corner, peeking around to see who was there. For a spilt second, she saw no one, only a flash of something black, but then a woman stepped into view. She was a tall, slender, very elegant looking woman, dressed in a long, fine, dark purple dress that reached the floor. A huge matching fur was draped over her shoulders, and atop her head was a very large and expensive looking hat, which covered almost all of her face. The only thing Belle could see was the woman’s lips, red as blood, curled up into a sinister smile.

            Gathering her courage, Belle stepped out into view, alerting the woman of her presence. “Madam, I’m sorry but the shop’s closed,” Belle said politely, “I thought I locked the door.”

            The woman didn’t respond immediately, but didn’t make a motion to leave. She tilted her face upward in Belle’s direction, but Belle still couldn’t see her eyes. The smile remained on her face, and it was beginning to make Belle uncomfortable. She wanted this mysterious lady to leave.  

            “Such a miserable little shop,” the woman sneered, “All these cheap, old books no one could possibly want. There’s nothing special in this boring old ugly shop…it suits you.”

            Belle was appalled at the lady’s words. She was not going to put up with being insulted, especially from a stranger. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Your rudeness is unwelcome.”

            “Huh. Bookworm’s got guts,” the woman chuckled, but she still didn’t turn to go. “I wonder if you know who I am?”

            Slowly the woman tilted her head all the way up so Belle could finally see her entire face. The woman was absolutely breathtaking. With dark black hair that cascaded past her shoulders, pulled all to one side, creamy white skin, and chocolate brown eyes, she was one of the most gorgeous women Belle had ever seen. Belle knew that she could never look like that, no matter how much makeup, or what kind of clothes she wore. Still though, she honestly had no idea who this lady was.

            “I’m sorry, no,” Belle replied. Was she supposed to know her? Had they met before and she couldn’t recall? Belle was sure she would remember meeting her.

            “Then perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is Regina.”

            Regina? The name didn’t process with Belle at first. She stood there quietly, confused.

            Regina continued, “Or more commonly known as…”

            “The Evil Queen,” Belle gasped, finishing the sentence as she suddenly realized who stood before her. Oh gods, she thought, what was she going to do? She had heard stories of this woman, of the power she held, and it seemed somehow she had unintentionally made her angry. At least she thought she had. Why else would the woman insult her?

            Regina’s grin only grew larger. Belle was frightened. She didn’t know what to do. If she called for help, no one would possibly hear her. If only Mr. Gold was there. If only he had provided her with a way to contact him. He warned her about the Evil Queen, but Belle had never expected the woman to just show up in her bookstore.

            Belle considered running, but before she could move her feet, she discovered she was frozen in place. She couldn’t budge at all. The only thing she could do was watch. Watch as the black glob creature that had chased her weeks before swelled up behind the witch taking the form of men. It wasn’t just one creature, but several, and it was terrifying.

            “A nice curse will teach you not to try and take what is mine!” the Evil Queen exclaimed angrily, scowling at Belle.

            Before Belle could say or do anything, even think, a heavy wind washed over her. It came out of nowhere, and if she hadn’t been locked in place she knew she would have fallen to the ground. And although the Evil Queen didn’t flinch, Belle knew she had used magic.

            Regina’s smile returned and the tone in her voice went back to the sweet but insincere one she started with. “Give my regards to Rumplestiltskin.” And with that the Queen and her Henchmen were gone, slamming the front door behind them, a few books falling to the floor with it.

            As soon as the Queen was gone, Belle could move again. Curse? Had the witch just cursed her? She didn’t feel any different. She glanced over at her reflection in the glass. She didn’t look any different either.   But something certainly happened. That wind came out of nowhere. Maybe Regina was just trying to scare her?

            “Just relax,” she said aloud trying to reassure herself. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Yet, something _had_ happened. But what? She considered going to Mr. Gold to tell him what happened. Perhaps he could use his magic to see if there was a curse on her and remove it if there was. But it was nighttime. He probably wouldn’t be at the shop; it had to be closed, and she didn’t know where he lived. Her only option would be to wait until morning.

            Regina’s last words lingered in Belle’s mind. Rumplestiltskin? Why would she say that? Belle had never met the wizard. How could she give him regards? She didn’t have time to dwell on it though, because suddenly the room began to spin, slow at first, then faster and faster. She needed to lie down. So with what little strength and balance she had left, she stumbled up the stairs, forcing herself into her apartment. Her head begun to ache and it was getting so bad she was losing the ability to think. Just before she made it to her bed, she felt herself grow weak. No longer able to hold herself up, her body collapsed onto the floor, the room around her going completely dark. Mind racing, she lie there unable to move until she finally lost consciousness.


	7. Chapter 7

Pounding. Pounding. Over and over again, the pounding. It wouldn't stop. Dear gods what was that confounded pounding? Belle's eyes popped open, but shut again instantly as the afternoon sun from the window streamed into her face, briefly blinding her. Slowly, she pulled herself up off the floor and turned away from the light so when she opened her eyes again they could easily adjust.

"Ow!" she exclaimed suddenly, grasping her head with both hands. It was throbbing, terribly; more so now that she was sitting up, and the pounding she kept hearing was only making it worse. What was that noise?

She took a moment and sat there, resting her head on her knees and hoped that the headache would pass so she would be able to stand. After a few minutes, it dissipated slightly, and she felt no pain as long as she didn't make any sudden movements.

Gradually, she lifted her head up, and finally opened her eyes. Good, now she could see, and it seemed for the moment the pounding had ceased. Perhaps she had only imagined the noise; perhaps it was only a side effect of the headache. She breathed a momentary sigh of relief now that she was feeling better. However, her relief was short-lived.

Glancing around the room, it suddenly occurred to her that she didn't know where she was. Nothing was familiar. Her eyes widened and she gasped, looking around frantically. She was in a bedroom. It wasn't very big, with only a small twin bed sitting in the middle, a white dresser with a mirror above it, and a little bedside table. None of that mattered, though. All that mattered was it wasn't her bedroom and she had no idea whose it was.

"I've got to stay calm," Belle told herself aloud, trying not to panic. But where was she? What was she doing here?

Standing to her feet, she hesitantly glanced in the other rooms to see if she was alone. "Hello?" she called out, "Is anybody there?"

Her inquiries were met with silence. Belle took a deep breath. She did not know whether to be relieved or upset that she was alone.

Staying calm wasn't easy. Especially when she was feeling like this. She didn't know what to do. Should she stay? Should she leave? Could she leave? For all she knew someone had brought her there against her will. But there was no one else with her, unless they had left for a bit waiting for her to wake. A shiver went up her spine as she thought about the worst-case scenario.

Deciding to go back to the bedroom she had awoken in, Belle treaded carefully across the floor, trying to remember any details of the night before. But her mind was blank. In fact, there wasn't much she could remember of anything. OH GODS, now that she thought about it, she wasn't sure whom she even was. She couldn't even remember her own name or anything about herself. And what about her family? Did she even have family? Or friends? She couldn't recall any faces, none whatsoever.

A flash across the room caught her eye, and she jumped, almost screaming before realizing it was just her reflection in the mirror. Oh thank gods, she thought briefly, relieved that she was still alone.

Going to turn away from the mirror, she instantly looked back, suddenly aware of something. She didn't even recognize herself! Those brown curls, blue eyes, pink lips… Nothing was familiar.

Belle's eyes focused on the girl in the mirror that was supposedly she, and her body began to shake as she slowly backed away from it. No, something was not right. That couldn't be her. It had to be some kind of trick. How could she not recognize herself? How could she not know who she was? Yes everything-all of this-it had to be a trick.

Making herself break eye contact with that woman in the mirror, the woman that was her, she collapsed on the bed, buried her head in the pillow, and began to sob uncontrollably, feeling scared and alone, unsure of what had happened to her or what she was going to do.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Papa! Thank goodness you came!" Felicie exclaimed to her father who had just walked into little bookshop.

"What's going on?" Maurice asked, concerned about why his daughter had called and asked him to come over.

"It's Belle," Felicie began, but was interrupted by Adelaide.

"Yeah, Belle hasn't come down all morning. I know she's doing it on purpose to get back at us for last night." The tone in Adelaide's voice clearly reflected annoyance, but Felicie just rolled her eyes.

Despite Adelaide's snide attitude, Maurice was very concerned and he looked to his eldest daughter for answers. "Is this true?"

Felicie nodded, "I've been knocking on her door all morning, but she won't answer."

Maurice frowned, fearing something serious was wrong with Belle. This wasn't like her at all. Leaving his other daughters behind, he rushed upstairs determined to find out what was going on. Belle was going to answer the door and if not, he was going to break it down himself.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Belle's tears had just barely ceased when all of a sudden the pounding returned. It startled her out of her thoughts, causing her to almost fall off the bed, but she was able to catch herself. The pounding continued and once Belle regained her balance, she finally realized it was coming from the other room. It wasn't all in her mind.

Working up her courage to stand, she crept toward the living room to see what it was. Peeking around the corner, she realized it was someone knocking at the door. She would have breathed a sigh of relief to know it wasn't in her head, but the fact was she had no memories of anything. She had no idea who could be on the other side of that door, whether she knew them or not, or even remembered them if she did. She was terrified to find out. Perhaps if she just ignored it, whoever was at the door would go away. Yet, the knocking continued and now there was a voice to go along with it.

"BELLE! IT'S PAPA! OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!" a male voice hollered from the other side.

Belle froze. That man's voice was not familiar at all. And she couldn't tell if he was angry or upset; it frightened her. She didn't know who this man really was, but it was obvious he was looking for someone named Belle. Could it be possible that she was this Belle? Was he really her Papa? But she would know her Papa's voice if she heard it. At least she should. It seemed all her memories had disappeared; she couldn't recall what her Papa sounded like! No matter how hard she tried… She tried not to panic because she didn't want to let that man know she was in there.

"BELLE!" the voice called again with another loud knock on the door. "I'M COMING IN!"

Oh gods, Belle thought, her heart beginning to pump faster and sweat dripping down her brow. As a precaution, she reached up and fastened the chain lock as silently as she could to keep that man out.

She knew she couldn't keep up the act that there was no one home. This man was going to come in one way or the other. She was going to have to speak up if she wanted to keep him out. But what if she did and he didn't recognize her voice? She had no memories of who she was, but she felt that if she was Belle and if that was her Papa on the other side of the door, then something would have felt right about it. But it didn't. Nothing about this seemed right. And she wanted more than anything to get out and for that man to leave her alone.

"BELLE!" he called again, jiggling the doorknob.

Belle wasn't sure if she was really this Belle or not, or if that was her father, but she decided to speak up before he broke down the door. Suddenly, an idea popped into her head, an idea that would be able to explain her voice if she didn't sound like Belle. "Don't come in here!" she called out, trying to sound groggy, "I've got a bad cold!"

"Belle?" the man queried; he sounded very relieved, "Why haven't you answered us? We were worried!"

"I'm sorry...I was asleep. I...I should have told you I was sick," Belle stuttered, trying to come up with the right things to say.

There was a moment of silence, making Belle anxious. She swallowed. Was he buying it? "You sound horrible," he finally replied, "Do you need me to bring you anything? I can fetch the doctor."

"NO! No...I'll just stay in bed all day."

Maurice paused, "Well, if you insist. I'll come back this evening to check on you. Make sure you answer this time alright?"

"I will..."

Belle could tell he lingered at the door for a second, but then she heard his footsteps as he finally let her be. She took a deep breath, happy now that he was gone.

Perhaps her name really was Belle. That man claiming to be her Papa didn't have any objections when she talked to him. Then again maybe she wasn't. But she had to have a name, so 'Belle' would work for the time being until she figured out what her name really was. But how was she going to do that? And what if she didn't? There were so many questions running through her mind. She didn't know what to do. Just thinking about it made her feel jittery to the point where she felt like she might pass out. No, she had to stay calm. Fainting wouldn't do her any good.

One thing was for sure though; she also had to get out of there. She had to get away; she wanted to get away. What if that man came back and discovered that she wasn't Belle? What would he do to her? Send her to jail? And what if she was Belle? With her memory loss, she feared he might send her to the insane asylum. Neither jail nor the asylum sounded appealing.

"I can't stay here," she said aloud as she ran back to the bedroom. Searching frantically, she found a bag in the closet that would hold a suitable amount of supplies. Grabbing a small blanket, she stuffed it in. Rummaging around the bedroom, she found what else she could before moving on to the rest of the place.

As she maneuvered through the little apartment, looking for anything useful to pack, she couldn't help but examine everything. Her hopes were that something, anything, would be familiar or would spark her memory. Sadly, nothing did. It only depressed her more to see what was actually in the apartment. There was barely anything, a few pitiful pieces of furniture in the living room that didn't match, only a couple pairs of shoes and several very old outfits. There were, however, several books stacked up everywhere. It was obvious whoever lived there didn't have much money, but spent what little they had on books. She started feeling bad for taking this person's things. If this wasn't her home, then she wasn't sure if she'd ever feel okay knowing that she stole, but she couldn't think about that right now. All she tried to concentrate on was getting out. If she had to, she would try and make it up to the person later.

As she searched around, she found herself taking another glimpse of her reflection in a mirror. She still did not recognize herself, no matter how long she stared, and she couldn't say she liked what she saw. She most certainly didn't think she was pretty at all, feeling all her features to be plain and boring. The blue dress she had on didn't look all that great either, but there were more important things she needed to be worrying about besides her appearance; mainly, the last, most important thing she needed: food.

Having noticed a little kitchen connected to the living room, she hoped it was decently stocked. Passing through the living room, her mind was set on the kitchen, but one of the books sitting on the coffee table caught her eye. Taking a step closer, she noticed it was a large, very old brown book that read "Once Upon a Time." Briefly, she felt drawn to it...like she should grab it and take it with her. Yet, she shook off the notion. A book, especially one of that size, would only be a burden to carry around. Especially when she didn't know where she was going or how long she would be traveling.

Continuing into the kitchen, she found a reasonable amount of food. Making sure not to grab anything perishable, she packed as much as would fit. There was a fresh loaf of bread, some fruit and vegetables, along with a jar of peanut butter and some crackers. She also found a water bottle in the cabinet; she grabbed that too, filling it up with tap water.

Once finished, she went over a list in her mind to make sure she packed everything she would need. The only thing she wasn't able to find was money, besides a few dollars on the bedside table. That wasn't surprising, given the amount of belongings in the apartment. Although she didn't feel right taking anything, she couldn't bring herself to pick up the money. It wouldn't have bought much of anything anyway.

She worried what she was going to do for money. Without it, she had no idea how she was going to get by. Maybe it was a better idea to stay. Maybe she was Belle. Yet, the more she tried to convince herself, the more she believed that something bad would happen if she didn't leave. No, she would find a way, money or no money. Perhaps once she got away, something would be familiar to her or she would find someone she knew. Maybe her memories would return.

As she slung the satchel over her shoulder, she took one last look at the little place before quietly heading out the back door. Her only wish was that she would remember and she was certain it wasn't going to happen there. She hoped she was making the right decision to leave.


	8. Chapter 8

            Behind the little apartment Belle had awoken in, she found a convenient back alley that led straight to the middle of town.  She kept her head down as she left, fearful that the man she had spoken with earlier might be around to catch her.  Yet, she also didn’t want anyone else to notice her either.  She wanted to find someone she knew, but at the same time she didn’t.  What if they recognized her, but she didn’t recognize them?  What would she do?  Somehow, she was certain that if that happened, she would be sent away to an asylum.

            Luckily as she maneuvered through the back roads there were not many people around.  She avoided the few she came across.  When she got into town she would be watchful, taking in all the faces of people, in hopes that one would be identifiable. 

            “They say the Prince is missing…”

             Belle gasped, glancing up, thinking someone had spotted her and was speaking to her.  Two men stood on the corner with a newspaper.

            “Let’s hope the prince turns up soon,” one of the men said to the other, obviously discussing the daily news. 

            Belle rushed by them, the two too engulfed in their conversation to even notice her. 

            The road ended at a small bridge, meant only for foot traffic, which crossed up over the railroad tracks and led into town.  Belle didn’t think to look for trains as she crossed, so when she made it to the middle of the bridge, a locomotive passed by, blowing an enormous cloud of black smoke up at her, completely engulfing her in it.  Stumbling out of the smoke to the far end of the bridge, Belle coughed and sputtered.  Grabbing hold of the rail, she used it as a brace until the hacking fit passed. 

            “Excuse me ma’am, could you use some help?” a concerned male voice asked.

            “No! No!” Belle exclaimed between coughs, briefly glancing up to see a passerby looking at her with genuine concern on his face.  Did she know him?  Did he know her?  It didn’t seem like it.  He appeared to be just a stranger expressing concern for her well being when she was in trouble.  But she wasn’t in trouble.  Well she was…but not in the manner this person was probably thinking.  “I’m alright.  Thank you,” Belle told him with a small smile.

            The man nodded, not saying another word, and continued on his way. 

            Making her way down the stairs, Belle dusted herself off.  Now she smelled like soot; she should have looked to see if a train was coming before she crossed.  Her mind was so focused on everything else, that she had momentarily lost the ability to use common sense.  Oh well, she sighed to herself.  She would deal with it.  There was no way she’d be able to take a shower anytime soon, but maybe she could at least find a place to rinse off. 

            The town was relatively quiet that day.  There were only a few people out and about.  Belle kept to herself as she meandered through them, looking for anyone or anything that would jog her memory.  Much to Belle’s dismay, nothing was familiar to her; nothing even made her feel like it could be familiar.  She couldn’t even name the town she was in. 

            A loud noise startled her out of her thoughts.  She looked up to see a large clock sitting above the town library.  _Storybrooke Free Public Library_ , the sign below the clock read in gold letters.  Storybrooke-that must be the name of the town.  Belle had never heard of it.  How could she be in a town she had never even heard of?  How did she get here?  The more she thought about it, the more those panic feelings began to surface again.  No, she had to stay calm; she would just keep exploring.

            Across the street from the library was a pet shelter, and a few blocks up she saw a small ice cream shop.  The streets of Storybrooke were lined with a variety of these shops and offices: a bakery, a dental clinic, a clothing store, clock repair, and a toy store.  Anything one may have wanted, it could have been easily found.  But Belle only wanted one thing: to know what was going on, and none of these places appeared like they could help her. 

            Belle curled her arms closer to her chest.  She felt anxious at just the thought of going in any of them.  So she continued strolling down the sidewalk avoiding people as she went, but now glancing up to see if she recognized them.  There was another little store up ahead, off by itself at the end of the block with no one else around it.

            A little sign hung off the top of it and as she neared it she could see it read _Mr. Gold Pawnbroker & Antiquities Dealer_.  Mr. Gold-he must be the owner.  She had never heard of him and she didn’t really care for antiques.  Yet, she felt drawn to the shop, like she should go inside.

            It was an odd feeling, to want to go into this shop above the others.  Everything else looked so lively and inviting, but this shop was dark and dreary.  The blinds were closed; she couldn’t even see inside.  Still, it didn’t deter her decision.  For some reason, this felt right.  Grabbing a hold of the doorknob, she was about to push the door open when a voice from behind caused her to stop.

            “I wouldn’t go in there if I were you sister.”

            Belle gasped, swirling around to face a rough looking man, with a gruff black beard, dressed in rugged clothes standing right behind her.  He wasn’t there a second ago.  Or was he?  She was trying so hard not to be noticed that she could have easily overlooked him. 

            No matter where he came from, it didn’t change the fact that he frightened Belle a little.  Not only had he spoken to her angrily, but also he looked intimidating.  He wore a stocking cap atop his head and a thick gray overcoat.  Belle caught a whiff of his scent, which smelled strongly like alcohol.  It was obvious he had been drinking, recently.  He was also scowling at her like she had offended him somehow, but she hadn’t, at least she didn’t think so.

            She didn’t know him or, as usual, didn’t think she did.  Part of her actually hoped she didn’t.  He didn’t seem like the type of person she would be around.  But what kind of person would she hang around?  Certainly not a drunk and it was obvious this was what this man was.

            However, the question was: did he know her?  It was really hard for her to tell.  He hadn’t called her by her name—whatever that was—but he did call her sister.  Was this her brother? 

            “What do you mean?” she finally replied.

            The man chuckled, “As if you didn’t know.”

            “No…I…I don’t…”  She didn’t want to engage in too much conversation, but she also didn’t want to make a mistake by going in a place she shouldn’t. 

             He looked at her as if she was crazy.  “Look sister, it’s pretty obvious that you’re in trouble…”

            Was she that transparent?  He called her sister again…maybe she _was_ his sister and he could easily read her because they were related. 

            “…and Mr. Gold’s the last person you want to go to when you’re in trouble.”  He paused, smiling, “Actually, Mr. Gold’s the last person you want to go to for _anything_.”

            Belle frowned looking back at the shop then back to this man.  Should she believe him?  She didn’t have any reason not to…then again she didn’t have any reason to.  But why would he lie?  Especially if he was her brother?  Wouldn’t siblings look out for one another?  “What’s wrong with Mister Gold?” she asked.

            The man chuckled again, this time a little longer.  “You must be from out of town, because _everybody_ knows Mr. Gold.”

            Was he asking her?  Or just stating the obvious?  Belle had no idea what to say.  She didn’t know if she was from Storybrooke or not.  But if his statement was true then maybe she wasn’t.  She had never heard of Mr. Gold, well, she didn’t know anybody, not even herself. 

            He must have sensed her distress, because his next words took her aback.  “Looks like you could use a drink.”  He pointed to a place across the street called _The Rabbit Hole_.  “C’mon.  My treat.”

            Before Belle could turn him down, he was already walking toward the place giving her no choice.  Yet, she didn’t have to follow him.  She could just continue on her way.  The last thing she wanted to do was drink.  That would only make things worse.  But if this man were her brother, then how would she explain not going with him?  She wanted to come out and just ask if they were related, but she feared what he might do.   Making up her mind, she decided to follow him.

            It was dark inside _The Rabbit Hole_ and Belle felt out of place being there.  There was a bar in the middle with a larger man standing behind it wiping it down.  Since it was earlier in the day, there were not any other customers.  The man she just met took a seat at one of the small tables in the corner, glancing up at her clearly waiting for her to join him. 

            Belle took a deep breath and cautiously took a seat across from him to keep her distance.

            “Names Leroy,” the man told her.

            Belle nodded.  So she didn’t know him and they couldn’t be related.  Otherwise he wouldn’t tell her his name.  In a way that was a relief.

            He stared at her cocking an eyebrow.  Why was he looking at her like that?

            “And you are?”

            OH!  He wanted to know her name.  “B-belle,” she answered unconfidently.  The name sounded so foreign on her tongue.  She thought using it would actually help her to recall, but it didn’t.  Perhaps she should choose another name.  What if people knew the actual Belle and wondered why she was using this woman’s name?

            “Belle huh?”

            Did he not believe her?

            Leroy continued, “Where you come from where ya never heard of Mr. Gold?”

            Belle whimpered, panicking, not knowing what to say.  “I…uh…I…”

            “Don’t want to say?  Done something you’re not proud of?”

            Belle frowned and shook her head no.

            It was obvious he didn’t believe her.  “Trust me sister, I really don’t care what you did.  It’s no business of mine.”

            Belle still didn’t know how to respond.  Luckily, she didn’t have to because the waiter came then to take their order.  Leroy ordered a mug of beer and she requested only a water.

            “That’s all you want?” Leroy asked, “I said I’d pay, get something stronger.”

            “I don’t really drink,” Belle said meekly.  It felt weird revealing anything about herself because she really didn’t know herself.  Still, there was doubt in her mind, she had no desire to drink. 

            Leroy nodded.  It was clear he wasn’t going to push her to do something she didn’t want to.  “So what kind of trouble you in?  Maybe I can tell you where to go.”

            Belle looked at him for a long moment.  Should she tell him what was wrong?  She had determined they didn’t know one another, what could it hurt?  He may like his alcohol, but that didn’t mean he was a bad person.  And looking in his eyes, Belle could tell he was being sincere. 

            “I, um, I woke up this morning and couldn’t remember anything.  Where I was, who I am.”

            “Well, that would explain not knowing Mr. Gold,” he joked.

            Belle smiled weakly.

            “Why don’t you go see Archie Hopper?”

            “Archie Hopper?”

            The waiter came and placed their drinks on the table.  Belle took a sip of her water.

            “Yeah, Doctor Archie Hopper,” Leroy continued to explain, “His office is just up the street.”

            “Doctor…”  Belle didn’t want to see any doctor.

            “He’s the town shrink.”

            Belle took a deep breath, her heart beginning to beat faster and her palms started to sweat.  That was what she was trying to avoid.  “No, I…I can’t go there.”

            He looked at her a moment, trying to figure her out.  “Well you could always go to a witch or a wizard, see if magic can help you,” he suggested. 

“Magic?”

Leroy chuckled, “Don’t tell me you don’t know what magic is?”

“Oh!  No, no, I…well I know magic exists, but I don’t know much about it.  Isn’t most magic evil?”

Leroy took a big swig of his drink.  “No, not all of it.  There are many wizards who use magic for good.”

Belle was a little hesitant at the idea, but honestly she was willing to try it before going to a doctor.  That option hadn’t occurred to her.  “Where would I find one?”

“Most of ‘em live up on the North Mountain.  They rarely come to town.  If they do they usually disguise themselves so no one bugs ‘em.” 

            Belle thought long and hard about what he said.  This certainly was a possibility, the only one she had really come up with, but she still had a lot of concerns.  How would she get to there?  She had noticed the mountains off in the distance and, presuming those were the ones Leroy was talking about, it would take a couple days to get there on foot.  Then when she got there it was unlikely she would run into a witch or wizard immediately.  And there was the matter of payment if she did.  Even she knew wizards wouldn’t do something for nothing.  What if she ran into one of the bad ones?  She wouldn’t be able to defend herself very well, especially against a magical being.  “I don’t know if I should…” she told Leroy hesitantly. 

            “Well if you change your mind, one bit of advice, I’d keep you’re distance from the Dark Castle if I were you.  Rumplestiltskin’s one wizard you sure don’t want to mess with.  I’d almost go to Mr. Gold before going to see Rumplestiltskin.” Glancing up at Belle, he cocked an eyebrow at her.  “You _have_ heard of Rumplestiltskin haven’t you?”

            Belle nodded.  Yes, she knew who he was and all about his mysterious Dark Castle that changed locations; he was a legend that had been around for centuries.  Her memory loss had only affected memories that were related to her personal life, not what things were or who famous people were.  Knowing who he was was just like knowing other well-known fairy tales, like the story of Snow White.  But she knew he wasn’t a fairy tale.  He was an actual wizard, although she couldn’t recall what he looked like.  She highly doubted, out of all the people she may have met before, he wasn’t one of them.  It was highly unlikely that she ever would. 

            “Where is the North Mountain?” Belle asked Leroy, seriously considering his suggestion.  If she didn’t want to get involved with doctors, then perhaps magic was the way to go.

            “It’s the tallest mountain along the hills on the outside of Storybrooke.”

            “Yes, I noticed those, off in the distance.”

            “If you do go, just make sure you’re ready for an adventure.  There’s no telling what you might find.  But just remember what I said and you should be safe.”

            Belle nodded.  It would be an adventure indeed, but she already felt like she was on an adventure already-searching for who she was.  Maybe she would do this.  If nothing else, she could get away from the town where she could clear her head.

            Belle and Leroy continued with pleasant conversation.  After getting to know him some, Belle actually realized she quite liked him.  He didn’t reveal too much about himself, but she was able to gather that he had recently had relationship troubles with a woman named Astrid.  She wasn’t really in a good place to be giving advice of any kind, but she was able to lift his spirits, giving him hope that if it were true love, then it would work out.

            “Good luck Belle,” Leroy told her once they were leaving.  “I hope you get your memory back.”

            Belle smiled, “It was a pleasure to meet you.  I hope we meet again.”

            “If you ever need me, I’m always around.  Be safe going up there.”  He glanced toward the mountains. 

            “I will,” Belle replied, waving to him as she set off on her journey.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

            The sun was shining brightly overhead and the temperature outside was nice.  It was a good day to be out.  There wasn’t much along the road as she traveled down it and the further she got from town, the less people there were.  She was thankful for that.  No one looked familiar to her anyway, so it seemed like a lost cause to continue trying to find someone.  She would rather be alone. 

After walking for a few hours, her feet started to hurt.  She wished she had brought some better shoes rather than the small heels she was wearing.  But it hadn’t occurred to her that she would be hiking.  Looking up, it almost appeared as if the mountains were further away than they had been when she was in the town.  She knew it was a trick of the mind, but it still didn’t make her feel any better.  She wasn’t sure how much longer she could go on with throbbing feet.

            Passing by a little market area, Belle marveled at some of the items for sale even though she knew she couldn’t buy anything.  There were tons of fresh fruit that looked absolutely delicious; she was glad she packed her own, otherwise she would have been disappointed she couldn’t get any. 

One of the carts had some intricately knitted blankets and clothes while another sold pots, bowls, and glassware.  Then there was the one that had numerous books up for sell.  It made Belle fleetingly think of the stacks of books around the apartment she left.  But those thoughts upset her, so she veered away from that cart.

None of the merchants gave her much of a second glance; it was obvious they didn’t know her.  They didn’t look recognizable to her either.  Nothing had so far and she didn’t think it would.  No, if she wanted her memory back, Leroy was right, magic was probably her only option even though she was weary of it. 

            Up ahead, she noticed a large hay cart, with a group of men standing around another man who was addressing them.  “A fearsome beast, ravaging the kingdom atop the North Mountain. It's eyes burn with fire. They call it the Yaoguai!  No man has been able to kill it, but we will!  There's room on our wagon. Who's gonna join us?”

            Several of the men cheered loudly, throwing their hands in the air to show they were willing.  Belle stood back as the men gathered their things and piled onto the cart.  They were going to the North Mountain, the same direction she was going.  Perhaps they would be willing to let her tag along. 

            Weaving through the few men still on foot, Belle approached the leader, Alistair she had heard another call him.  “Excuse me,” she said to grab his attention.

            Alistair glanced up at her and grinned mockingly looking her up and down, “Don’t tell me you’re wantin’ to go after the Yaoguai!”

            “Well, no.”  Belle felt a little uncomfortable now, but she had already spoken up. “I’m headed to the North Mountain and I was just wondering if I could ride?  Please?”

            The man rolled his eyes.  “Ain’t got time for no hitchhikers, but if there’s room in the back, I’ll guess it’s alright.”

            Belle smiled, “Thank you.”  She hadn’t expected him to say yes after witnessing his reaction.

            After all the men were loaded, Belle was glad to find there was room to spare.  To keep her distance from the others, she sat on the edge, letting her feet hang off the back.  She took her shoes off to give her feet a break.

            The ride was peaceful and quiet most of the way.  The buggy didn’t jar her too much as it traveled over the rocky road.  The men talked amongst themselves for awhile and Belle made sure to keep out of their conversation.  She didn’t feel very welcome there, but she was grateful for the ride.  However, that didn’t stop them from trying to talk to her. 

            “So what’s a pretty little lady like yourself wantin’ to go up the North Mountain for?” Alistair asked.

            Why did he say she was pretty?  That was far from the truth.  He had to be mocking her; she wasn’t going to let it get to her.  She also didn’t want to tell them too much.  It was already obvious they didn’t want her there and she didn’t want to give them something else they could use to taunt her with.  “I’m just trying to find something lost to me,” she told them.  It was the truth.

            “Yeah?  And you think you’ll find it up there?”

            Belle nodded.

            Alistair snickered and furrowed his brow at her. “You’re crazy to go up the mountain.  There’s nothin’ but witches and wizards out there.”

            “And the Yaoguai!” one of the other men added.

            He burst out laughing, “And the Yaoguai!”  He turned back toward the other men and continued to talk amongst themselves. 

            Belle thought they were done teasing her, so she turned around, not wanting to engage in any more conversation.  Out of nowhere, she felt pressure against her lower back, and then within the blink of the eye she was face first on the ground. 

            “Ow!” she exclaimed as she hit the ground hard.  Belle heard the group of men laughing hysterically.  She looked up and realized Alistair had shoved her off the moving cart with his foot. 

            “Good luck finding what you’re looking for,” he called out insincerely as the wagon disappeared off into the distance.

            Belle slowly pulled herself up off the ground and brushed herself off.  Her right hip was a little sore-she had hit the ground pretty hard-but the injury wasn’t bad.  She would still be able to walk without any issues or real pain. 

            Picking up her bag, she gathered the few belongings that had fallen out.  Although it was convenient she was able to hitch a ride, she was happy to be rid of those men.  They were nothing but rude to her.  However, things could have been worse.  At least they didn’t try to harm her. 

            On the brighter side, she was much closer to her destination than earlier.  The walk would only be half a day or less, then she could start searching for a witch or wizard to help her. 

            She continued along the road for a while until coming upon path that led directly up the mountain; it looked like the best method to get to the top. 

As the path led on, it began getting steeper and steeper.  Not only that, but the rocky terrain was also making it difficult.  Removing her heels, she decided it would make it a little easier to walk and less likely that her feet would hurt as bad the next morning.  It was probably all for naught though; her feet were already hurting pretty bad.  Perhaps it was best she stopped to rest, but she wanted to get there as soon as possible. 

            Determined to keep going for just a little longer, her stomach rumbling finally made her give in.  It had been a while since she ate and she was definitely hungry.

            After finding a reasonable spot, a flat grassy patch, she sat down, pulling some bread and cheese from her bag.  She took small bites, savoring every bite while she examined her surroundings.  The entire town of Storybrooke could be seen from where she was sitting, but she couldn’t recognize many buildings from where she was.  About the only thing she could make out was the clock tower.  It wasn’t like she knew much else anyway.  She had only seen the town once. 

The view was certainly lovely, but from where she was sitting it almost felt like she hadn’t made much progress.  The day was almost over and she had barely made it near the top of the mountain.

            A gust of wind caused her to pause and shiver.  It was much colder up the mountain than it was at the bottom.  Placing the food down, she pulled out a cape and wrapped it around her shoulders.  It warmed her some, but not enough.  If she wanted to be comfortable, she needed to make a fire.  Turning her head to the left, she noticed a few bare branches sticking out from a nearby bush. 

            “That will work,” she said aloud as she got up and walked over there to retrieve the wood.  She collected a few small branches that were sprinkled along the bottom of the bush before her eye caught sight of a very large stick poking out of the middle of the brush.  It was perfect for using as a starting piece.  Neatly sitting the pile down she had already gathered, she grabbed ahold of the stick.  Giving it a small tug, she expected it to come loose easily, but instead she was met with resistance. 

            After trying a few more small tugs it still wouldn’t budge, so she used all her energy to pull as hard as she could until, finally, it broke free.  Belle almost lost her balance because the branch popped up out of the bush so suddenly, landing on the ground and standing straight up on its own.  Belle gasped looking up at this miraculous stick and realized it wasn’t a stick at all, but a scarecrow. 

It was built like the usual scarecrow, with another stick tied to the middle to represent arms and a white burlap sack stuffed and placed on top to represent the head.  It was an odd scarecrow, however.  For one, it was very nicely dressed, with a brown topcoat lined in leather, a burgundy vest with silver buttons underneath, and a matching cravat around its neck in place of a tie.  On the ends of the “arms” were black leather gloves.  Yet, nothing stood out more to Belle than the very large top hat that sat slightly lopsided atop its head and the unique face that had been drawn onto the sack.  With the hat, the beady little eyes, and the crooked smile, it almost looked like it had gone mad.  But it was just a scarecrow; that was not possible. 

            “I think I’ll call you the Mad Hatter,” she told the scarecrow which was still towering above her. “Tell me Hatter,” she said as if she expected him to talk back to her, “How are you standing on your own like that?”

            The scarecrow swayed in the wind, looking down at Belle as if he wanted to answer her. 

            Belle chuckled, “Well, you’re free now, so, you’re welcome.”

            Picking up the other wood she collected, she walked back toward her things leaving the scarecrow where she found him.  While she was attempting to start the fire, she heard a low rumble off in the distance.  Over the horizon she could see a dark cloud; a storm was coming.  Not only that, but the sun was getting low in the sky; the day would be over soon.  She needed to find a place she could stay for the night. 

            However, besides the town in the far off distance, there was no other building in sight and the majority of the mountain was bare, with trees sparsely scattered here and there.  Even if she couldn’t find a cottage or something, there wasn’t really anything else that could serve as shelter. 

            One option was to stay where she was and sleep out in the open, but she wouldn’t be protected from anything or anyone.  Even though she hadn’t passed anyone else on the trail since those men abandoned her, that didn’t mean she wouldn’t-or that they wouldn’t stumble upon her.  Not to mention it was likely to rain soon; she would get drenched. 

            No, she would have to continue up the mountain and she needed to forget about the fire and leave now.  Hopefully she would come across something, but she wasn’t optimistic.  Quickly, she gathered her things and set off once more. 

            The sun was still shining where she was, so the walk remained quiet as it had been most of the way.  The only thing that was really making noise were the crickets and occasional bird, but even they had quieted.  Besides the infrequent thunder, now all she could hear was thumping.  Belle stopped, suddenly aware that thumping was out of the ordinary.  It had been coming from behind her.  Was she being followed? 

            Slowly she turned around, fearful of who or what she might find, and she almost screamed when she saw what it was.  The scarecrow-the one she had pulled out of the bushes-was standing below, several feet behind her.  But how was that possible?  It wasn’t alive.  Then Belle remembered where she was; what Leroy had said she would find up here.  Magic.  The scarecrow must have some kind of spell on him.  That was the only explanation.

            Belle had come to the mountain to find a magical person who could help her, but she was still weary of magic.  Especially magically enchanted objects. 

            At first she just ignored it, continuing along, but the thump, thump, thump could still be heard as the Hatter hopped along behind her. 

               Swirling around, she yelled at him, “Go away!”  He stood there facing her, with that same mad look on his face.  “Why don’t you go find some field and stand in it?  Quit following me!”

            He didn’t budge and Belle shrugged it off.  Her words didn’t seem to faze him and she didn’t have time to try and rid herself of him.  She had more important things to deal with, like finding shelter.

The higher she climbed, the colder it got, and the storm was rapidly getting closer.  It was also getting dark, because of both the sun setting and the cloud cover.  She could smell the rain in the air; she was running out of time. 

            The wind was picking up and the combination of that and the cold was slowing Belle down.  Suddenly, an idea came to her.  Turning around to address the scarecrow, who was right on her heels, she asked, “Do you think you could do me a favor?  Could you run off and find me a place to stay?”

            Belle could have sworn the Hatter nodded before he hopped away as fast as he could, disappearing off into the distance.  Belle grinned triumphantly as she watched him leave to do as she asked.  She highly doubted he would be able to find anything, but at least she had finally rid herself of him. 

            After basking over her small victory, Belle trudged on, knowing that she was about to get soaked.  And she would probably be sleeping in it too.  Perhaps coming up the mountain hadn’t been the best idea after all.  Why had she not considered grabbing a tent before she left?  If only she had known she would have to stay out in the open she would have.  However, she couldn’t scold herself too much.  There may not have been a tent in that tiny apartment and she certainly didn’t have any money to buy one. 

            Another loud rumble caused her to look to the sky.  At first she thought it was thunder from the approaching storm, but it wasn’t.  Instead she was shocked to see an aircraft flying by, a very large, oval shaped, darkly colored thing, with six sets of wings that flapped off sync with one another.  It was the oddest looking machine; Belle wondered what it was for.  As it passed right above her head, she had her answer.  Along the bottom of it she could see several missiles attached to it.  It was obvious it was a battleship. 

            What was a battleship doing out here?  Belle could only wonder.  While she gawked at it, another gust of wind, a strong one this time, almost knocked her off her feet.  She had to come up with something soon, the storm was almost there.  She could already feel sprinkles coming down from the sky.

It was then she noticed it, the faint aroma of smoke.  There was a fire burning nearby, she could smell it.  She couldn’t see it or anyone around her but she had almost reached the top of a ridge.  “There must be a cabin nearby, just over that ridge,” she told herself.

            Hurrying as fast as her aching feet would carry her, she headed towards the smell.  Every step had become almost excruciating; there were several blisters on her feet, she was sure.  But that didn’t matter, because she was hopeful for about who or what she might find. 

            As she neared the top, she began to hear a familiar thumping.  Just as she recognized the sound, the Hatter suddenly popped up from the other side of the ridge coming towards her. 

Belle halted in her tracks and gasped.  “Hatter!” she exclaimed, ready to scold him for following her again.  But she didn’t have time to say anything, because something was following the scarecrow.  Something that Belle was not too happy about.

            Within moments, the top of a tower was visible from behind the ridge, and as it approached, seemingly growing higher and higher, Belle could see the tower was attached to something much more massive.  It was a castle-a castle that was walking on four legs-walking straight toward her. 

            The Hatter stopped next to her, turning around to gawk at the castle with her.  He seemed proud of himself.

“You must be mad because that’s the Dark Castle!”  Belle glared at the scarecrow and yelled at him, “That is not what I meant when I asked for a place to stay!”

Belle was agitated with the Hatter, but she couldn’t help but stare at the massive castle making its way toward them.  It didn’t look exactly like what Belle thought of when she imagined a castle.  It was a large bulbous shaped thing that stood approximately twenty stories high.  It was a wonder those four tiny legs were holding it up. 

Four brick turrets of different diameters stuck out from the sides and top.  They had red pointy tops and small flags attached to the tips; they were the closest that thing came to resembling a castle.  Several smoke stacks that stuck out the sides as well, a few blowing billows of smoke out of them-that must have been where the smell was coming from.  The rest of the castle looked like it was made of metal and there where a few structures sticking off the sides that resembled houses.  But how were they attached?  It had to be magic. 

The front of the castle was the creepiest to Belle; it had two smoke stacks that stuck out, resembling eyes, and a large metal flap that hung down the bottom that almost made it look like it had a mouth. 

            “They call this a castle?” Belle questioned aloud.  Athough she was skeptical of it, she couldn’t deny that it amazed her.  It was the most miraculous, mysterious thing she could recall ever seeing.  And she was so entranced by it, that she failed to get out of the way as it moved to step right over her. 

            “Ahh!” Belle squealed as both her and the Hatter dodged one of the feet when it moved by them.  The feet kept the castle off the ground and she was able to observe the underside as it went over.  There wasn’t much to see.  It was mostly smooth, made of the same dark metal parts the rest were. 

            It moved along at a steady pace, but once it passed by her it paused momentarily.  Belle glanced back at it, wondering why it stopped, and saw a door hanging from the bottom, a door she hadn’t noticed before. 

            Before she could even consider what it was there for, the castle shifted, whistling and popping, before starting up again, and heading away from her.  The Mad Hatter immediately began hopping toward it, glancing back at Belle, as if to say, “Aren’t you coming?”

            For a moment Belle just stared dumbfounded at the two.  She would be crazy to go into Rumplestiltskin’s castle.  Leroy had warned her not too and the stories she recalled did not shed him in the best of light, especially the one where it was said he ripped out the hearts of pretty girls.  What if she ran into him?  She most certainly would if she went into his home uninvited.  And she’d have bigger problems to worry about besides her memory loss if her heart was ripped out.  Yet, as she recalled that hideous face that had looked back at her in the mirror that morning, she knew for a fact that she wasn’t remotely pretty.  Her heart would be safe. 

            Making up her mind, she snapped out of her stupor and began sprinting toward the departing castle.  “Is that the way in?” she asked, calling after the Hatter, referring to the door.  It was a silly question; it had to be the way in.  The only other doors she saw were way up high.  There was no way a normal person could get to them.  Her feet throbbed with every step, but she disregarded the pain, forcing herself to speed up. 

A set of steps, lined with crooked metal railing, hung down below the door, but didn’t touch the ground.  If she could just grab a hold of the railing, she could pull herself up.  Reaching in front of her as far as she could, her fingers fleetingly brushed the rail.  The castle was picking up speed; if she didn’t catch up now, she never would.  Taking a deep breath, she put forth the last bit of effort she had, stretching out as far as she could and victoriously clung to the bottom of the banister.  With the rest of her energy, she hauled herself up onto the steps, but lost her cape in the process. 

            Frowning, she looked back at it as it flew away in the wind.  The Hatter saw what happened and turned around to retrieve it.  Belle was thankful for his gesture, but she wasn’t sure if he’d be able to catch back up to the castle.  Yet, there was a possibility, so she chose to wait for a few minutes and see if he returned. 

            Turning around she examined the old wooden rickety door with metal hinges.  It was obvious it had seen many days.  A small light hung above it, illuminating the entryway. 

Placing her hand on the doorknob, she paused once again debating whether or not she should go inside.  She could still turn back now, but she had come this far.  It had already begun to rain and she was sure if she changed her mind she wouldn’t find any another place to stay. 

Finally, she turned the knob and discovered it easily opened.  Part of her had expected it to be locked.  Creaking the door open slowly, but not all the way, she peeked inside.  There wasn’t much to see from where she was standing, just a set of stone steps directly in front of her with wooden railings on each side.  She could see the top of the steps, but it was so dark, she couldn’t tell what was up there, but there was no one around.  It was possible she could slip in for the night, then slip out early the next morning before Rumplestiltskin discovered her. 

She was about to go inside when she heard the familiar thumping and she knew the Hatter was back.  Gazing behind her, he was right on the castle’s trail with her cape in tow.  He hopped up right next to the steps so she could easily grab it right off his arm. 

“Thank you sweet Hatter,” she said, retrieving the cape and draping it over her arm, “It’s been a pleasure meeting you, even if you are mad!”

As the Hatter continued to hop along behind the castle, unable to catch up or unwilling to, Belle wasn’t quite sure, she drew in a deep breathe and finally got up the courage to step inside, quietly shutting the door behind her.


	9. Chapter 9

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. Gold could hear the second hand ticking by on the clock in a steady manner as he stared long and hard at the front door to his pawnshop. Eight-forty two the clock read when he glanced up at it. Belle was supposed to be there for dinner over two hours ago; it was obvious she wasn’t coming. But Gold just continued to stare intently at the door, as if any moment now it would open and Belle would come waltzing through with her bright blue caring eyes and loving smile.

As he waited for what he inevitably knew was not going to happen, his long slender fingers drummed impatiently on the table. Most of the food spread out along it was already cold; it wouldn’t be edible anyway if she did show up. Of course he knew she wasn’t going to come. Why did he still have hope? All those lovely words that had flowed from her mouth, they were nothing but lies, only meant to hurt him. He should have known; no one ever truly cared for him. Why did he think she would be any different?

As the clock finally struck nine, Mr. Gold stood up from his chair. Walking heavily to the front door, his cane tapping hard against the wood floor, he turned the sign to _closed_ , and flipped the lock forcefully. He wasn’t going to wait any longer.

Turning, he walked toward the back room, his mind set on leaving for the night. As he pushed the curtain aside that separated the rooms, his eyes caught sight of the tea set-the one with the chipped cup Belle had damaged the day before. He stood there momentarily staring at it. He scowled and could feel his temper flaring. The last thing he needed was a reminder of that woman.

In a rage he grabbed the teapot and flung it across the room causing it to shatter into a million pieces. The other three cups followed suit, leaving a pile of little shards of glass on the floor. Mr. Gold picked up the last cup-the chipped one-with every intention of giving it the same fate as the others. Yet, when he raised it in the air, he couldn’t seem to force himself to let go.  
            His breathing was heavy from being so angry, but as he pulled the cup back down to look at it, he calmed slightly. He frowned as he stared at the cup; something in him wouldn’t let him destroy it-he couldn’t do it. Gritting his teeth in anger he set the cup back down on the pedestal. Storming through the shop, he exited through the door in the back, slamming it behind him so hard, all the things hanging on the wall shook, but didn’t fall from there spots. He wouldn’t be going home that evening. He had to get away to clear his head.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

            Belle stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up. She had been standing at the entrance for a few minutes, trying to gather her courage to continue on. She still couldn’t see anything except a very very dim light. It was barely enough light to see her nose in front of her face. Inside, it smelled like burning wood; so she assumed the light was coming from a fireplace. However, she also couldn’t hear anything either. There couldn’t be anyone in the room with her.

Slowly she began creeping up the stairs and before reaching the top she peered over the first step to see what was up there. It was still hard to see but there was no one around-just as she suspected. It was difficult to tell the real size of the room, given the light she had to work with, but the first thing she noticed was how cluttered it was with stuff.

Over in the left corner of the room there wasn’t as many things and it was also where the source of the light was coming from. There was a fireplace, a very extravagant one, with marble sides and delicately carved roses surrounding it. However, a fire was barely burning. Only embers were left. Still fire or not, it was quite toasty in the room-much better than outside.

A large red leather chair set right in front of the fireplace; it looked like it would be very comfortable. After she was certain she was alone, she finally came all the way to the top of the steps and made her way over to the chair, taking a seat. She sighed in relief. It was nice to finally get off her aching feet. Reaching down she removed her heels and set them aside. That made her feet feel even better, but wished she had a nice bucket of warm water to soak them in. She brushed aside the thought. She had found a place-a warm and comfortable place-to stay for the night. She couldn’t complain.  
            Looking to the fire, she saw there was actually a very small flame, not just embers. Putting her hands out toward it-they were ice cold, she tried to warm them. No luck. The fire just wasn’t big enough. Glancing around she saw a pile of wood sitting next to the fireplace. She smiled as she reached down, picked one up, and placed it on the fire. Taking the metal poker, she jabbed at the fire a little, and then sat back down, waiting for it to grow.

As it did, the light got a little brighter, enough for her to see just a little bit better. On either side of the fireplace were bookshelves, packed with books and papers, some of them fallen to the floor. She could see another glass cabinet in the back corner, overflowing with what looked like potion bottles and glassware. Pedestals lined all the walls and a top them sat unique trinkets. One in particular had a set of very creepy dolls, one male and one female. Belle had to look away; she didn’t like how they were “staring” at her. It was almost as if they were real. She couldn’t let herself get frightened. This was the only place she had to stay for the night.

She still couldn’t see how big the room was, but one thing was for sure: there was stuff piled _everywhere_. And it wasn’t particularly organized either.  
            “This is certainly not what I picture when I think of a castle,” Belle said out loud to herself. To Belle, a castle was supposed to be elegant, clean, not cluttered with every little thing one could possibly get their hands on. This place was obviously the opposite.

Turning back around to face the fire, she grinned as she saw it was getting bigger. She relaxed back in the chair, pulling her feet up under her. Grabbing her cloak, she draped it over her and sat there quietly. After a while her eyelids began to droop. She had a long day, so she wasn’t going to fight sleep. Just when she was about to give in to sleep a voice out of nowhere suddenly startled her awake.

“Hello, there!” It was a male voice with a French accent.

Belle sat up straight and glanced around the room looking for another person.

“Over here,” the voice said again.

It was coming from straight in front of her, but that couldn’t be. There was only the fire. But then, Belle looked closer and when she saw it she gasped. There was a face in the fire; it had eyes, a nose, and a mouth. And it was talking to her.

“No need to be frightened, I am but a humble servant of this castle,” he explained.

Belle furrowed her brow and stuttered her next words, “B…but you’re a fire. You…you can talk?”

“Why yes of course.”

Belle paused thinking. A talking fire! She had never seen anything like it, or she couldn’t recall ever have. Then again…she had just received help from a live scarecrow. How was this any different? Then she remembered whose castle she was in. “Are you Rumplestiltskin?” she asked, genuinely unsure of the answer. She had no idea what the wizard was like.

“Why, heavens no, but allow me to introduce myself,” he told her very suavely, “My name is Lumiere. I am a fire demon, but I was once human just like yourself.”

Belle’s eyes widened, “How did you come to be like this?”

“I was cursed, by none other than Rumplestiltskin of course.”

Belle frowned. A curse? Rumplestiltskin had to be a bad wizard for sure. “Why did he do this to you?”

“We made a deal long ago, but I couldn’t live up to my end, so he made me pay the price. Now I am but a slave of the Dark Castle.”

Belle paused, beginning to feel a little uneasy. She was already weary about coming into Rumplestiltskin’s castle, now she was beginning to feel certain she had made the wrong decision.   What would he do to her when he found her here?

“I must say,” Lumiere said, breaking her from her thoughts, “that is one bad curse you’ve got on you. Almost as bad as mine.”

Belle looked at him and creased her eyebrows in confusion. “Wait…uh…how do you know I have a curse on me?” Did she have a curse? What was he talking about?

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but your memories, you’ve lost them,” he said matter-of-factly.

Belle gasped again in surprise, clutching her cloak to her, “But how did you…”

“My dear I am a fire demon. I can easily see the magic surrounding you that many cannot. It is very powerful magic. You are going to have a very hard time getting rid of it.”

Belle didn’t know much about fire demons, but if he could sense something like that then perhaps he could help her. “Do you think you could help me? Get my memories back?”

Lumiere stared at her, his face emotionless as it flickered with the flames. “I suppose I could, but only if you agree to find away to break the curse on me and return me to my human form.”

Belle smiled sheepishly, “I don’t know much about breaking curses, but I can promise to try.”

Lumiere smiled, “Then as Rumplestiltskin would say…we have a deal.”

Belle nodded and smiled, before leaning back in the chair again. She was extremely tired and ready to go to sleep. Too much had happened to her that day, she didn’t want to think about anything else. Scarecrow, fire demon, Rumplestiltskin, it was all too overwhelming.

“I can see I disturbed you at a late hour,” Lumiere observed, forcing Belle to address him one more time.

“I’m sorry,” she told him, “But more has happened to me today than I can handle.” She leaned forward once more, “It was nice to meet you however.”

“And you mademoiselle. I should wish you goodnight,” Lumiere said not wanting to disturb her anymore.

“Yes,” Belle replied, “Goodnight.”

Belle settled back into the chair. She closed her eyes briefly, but opened them once more to peek back at the fire. The face was now gone; all that was left was a flame. Perhaps she had been asleep this whole time and dreamed the encounter. Perhaps everything that had happened that day had been a dream and when she woke up the next morning, she would remember who she was and be back home, safe in her own bed. Yet, all that she knew for sure was she couldn’t hold her eyes open any longer. Before she knew it, she was fast asleep, curled up in the wizard Rumplestiltskin’s chair.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Pounding, pounding, again with the pounding. Belle woke up with a start. Gods, not again, she fretted before she realized once again that the noise was just someone knocking on the door. Momentarily she forgot where she was until she sat up in the chair and rubbed her eyes, trying to wake up. The events of the day before all came flooding back into her mind. She was still in the Dark Castle; she still didn't remember who she was; sadly it wasn't a dream. She sighed heavily before the knocking startled her again.

Who in the world was knocking on the door? It couldn't be Rumplestiltskin; why would he knock on the door to his own castle? And why were they knocking on the door? Did whomever it was manage to catch up to the castle just like Belle had the night before? Why wouldn't they just come in like she had? The door had opened for her; surely it would open for them too. Then again, she didn't really want that person to come in. She had no idea who it was.

The knocking sounded again, this time it was obvious the person outside was getting impatient. Belle knew she shouldn't answer it. This wasn't her home and if that person knew Rumplestiltskin she would only arouse suspicions. Why wouldn't they just go away?

No one was coming to answer the door, or so she thought until she heard another door swing open behind her and a set of footsteps. Oh gods, she thought, it had to be Rumplestiltskin! What was he going to do when he found her there? Frightened she slunk back in the chair, pulling her knees to her chest. She was shivering a little and it wasn't because she was cold.

Yet, when she peered around the side of the chair to get a view of whom she thought was Rumplestiltskin, her mouth fell open, surprised to see a young boy running into the room. He wasn't too young, maybe twelve or thirteen, with a full head of black curly hair and dark brown eyes. He was dressed rather homely, in a well-worn grey shirt, with a matching cravat tucked into the collar, and a pair of light red pants. Could that really be the great Rumplestiltskin? He was so young…

She didn't think he noticed her-he didn't even look her way. Instead he ran through the room-she assumed with every intent to answer the door-but he paused briefly to grab a brown cloak off the clutter covered table. Some things that were on top of it toppled over onto the floor, but he didn't seem to care.

Throwing the cloak over his shoulders, the boy tied it around his neck, and then pulled the hood up over his head. As he did so, Belle was shocked because she no longer was able to see his face. Well, she _could_ see his face, it wasn't like he covered it up, but it wasn't the same face she had just saw. He no longer looked like a little boy with rosy red cheeks and bright brown eyes. Instead, he looked older, much older, with a light beard and mustache. It was as if he aged thirty years in a second. Magic, it had to be magic. That was the only explanation. Maybe he _was_ Rumplestiltskin.

Belle sat back in the chair, staying quiet as the boy ran right up to the door she had entered the night before and turned the lock. Belle had expected he was just doing that to unlock the door, but it should have already been unlocked. She didn't recall locking it the night before. The only way it could have been locked was if someone came or went after her.

She found out quick that it most likely wasn't a lock. There was a little wheel that hung at the top right corner of the door and it was divided into four colors: green, blue, red, and black. When he turned the lock, the wheel rang out and spun from green to blue. Light shown through the little window above the door when it hadn't before. It was all so curious.

The boy then twisted the knob and pulled the door open to see who was there. A man stood outside the door on what looked like a cobblestone road. The man was dressed in all black. He was quite handsome with medium brown hair, blue eyes, and a ruff looking beard. Down by his feet, Belle could see a white wolf sitting next to him. It had one black eye and one red-very unusual.

"Good day Sheriff Graham," the boy said, except his voice was a little gruffer, like he was still a boy trying to sound old.

"Afternoon," the sheriff replied, "I'm here to see the great sorcerer Yen Sid. Is he around?"

Yen Sid? Who was that Belle wondered? She thought this was Rumplestiltskin's castle.

The boy shook his head. "My master's out for the day. I don't know when he'll return, but I can speak for him in his absence."

The man, Sheriff Graham, stared at the boy briefly before pulling an envelope out of the front of his jacket and handing it to him. "A summons," the sheriff explained, "As you may know we are on the brink of war. His majesty King George is requiring every witch and wizard to aid the kingdom. Tell your master he must report to the castle immediately."

The boy nodded, bid the sheriff goodbye and shut the door. He didn't immediately come back up the stairs though. Instead he stood there for a few moments staring at the letter in his hands. Slowly he lowered the hood and instantly turned back into the young curly haired boy Belle had seen in the first place. "I hate war," she heard him mumble. The boy sighed deeply; he looked conflicted. To Belle he seemed sad, almost depressed.

Turning, he walked back up the stairs, keeping his eyes on the ground, but as he reached the top he looked up and gasped when he saw Belle sitting there in the chair.

He scrunched his eyes in confusion. "Who are you and how did you get in here?"

"B…Belle," she told him. The name still sounded foreign on her tongue.

"Ok, but how did you get in? No one can get in the castle unless we let them." Belle wondered who "we" was.

Her mouth hung open, unsure of the right way to answer his question. The door had just opened for her, but she had entered without permission. However, if what the boy said was true, someone let her in, but whom?

"I let her in," came a voice from her side with a familiar French accent.

Belle glanced over and saw the face had returned to the fire, the one she had spoken with the night before, Lumiere. So it really wasn't a dream.

"And why did you do that?" the boy said with an agitated but worried tone, "You know Papa's not going to be happy about this."

Papa? Was Rumplestiltskin his father? Did Rumplestiltskin even have a son? All the tales she could recall of the wizard, none of them ever mentioned a son. Unless… Rumplestiltskin was notorious for dealing in babies. Perhaps this boy was one of them. "So…so you're not Rumplestiltskin?" Belle asked the boy timidly.

He looked offended and scoffed, "No, I'm Baelfire. Rumplestiltskin's my father."

"Don't worry, she thought I was Rumplestiltskin too," Lumiere told him, laughing it off.

Baelfire shrugged his shoulders and smiled a little, "I guess I can understand. My father doesn't get out much." He walked towards the table in the center of the room.

The room was a little brighter than it had been the night before, but not by much. Most of the light still came from Lumiere, but there was a tiny amount of light streaming in from above the door and a few candles were lit around the walls. Belle could tell there were two large windows in the back of the room, but dark curtains blocked any light that could possibly come in. It was obvious why it was called the "Dark Castle."

As dim as it was, Belle could see much better than she could have the previous night. And if there were one other word she could use besides cluttered to describe it, it would be _filthy._ Every corner was covered in spider webs, some even hung from the ceiling. Everything was covered in dust, even the floors. Belle could even make out the footprints were Baelfire had just been walking. No wonder it smelled so musty inside.

The fireplace was just as bad. There was no telling how long it had been since it was cleaned, if ever. The fire was sitting on a mountain of ash. Did they _never_ clean?

Belle also noticed the fire was dying down, so she added another log.

"Thank you my dear," Lumiere told her gratefully.

Belle smiled and nodded, "You're welcome."

"So, how do we know she's not a witch?" Baelfire asked, directing his question at Lumiere while he opened up a large book on the table and stuck the summons letter inside.

"You actually believe I would let a witch inside?" Lumiere replied, appaled. "I know your father just as well as you do…maybe more. My curse is bad enough. I don't want to find out what he would do to me if he found a witch in his castle."

There was that sound again…the pounding. Only now Belle knew immediately that it was someone knocking on the door. She was really beginning to hate that sound.

"The Avonlea door," Lumiere stated. Belle had no idea what that meant, but Bae obviously did.

"Oh it must be a customer," Baelfire mused. He slammed the book closed, which resulted in a small cloud of dust flying up into the air. Still he seemed not phased by it. Putting the hood back on his head, he once again transformed into an adult and started running to the door, but paused and turned to Belle. "Stay quiet. I don't want you to start any trouble."

Belle agreed and then he went to answer the door. This time though, he didn't click the lock. He just opened the door revealing the same cobblestone road. Two children, a boy and a girl, stood outside the door. They were clearly younger than Baelfire. The girl had thick long blond hair braided neatly on either side of her head and the boy had brown hair, but he wore a yellow cap atop his head. "Hello," the girl said politely with a smile, "Our father sent us to pick up a spell."

"What is it you need?" Baelfire asked.

"Here," the girl said, handing him a strip of paper, "he made a list."

Baelfire nodded, "Yes, we have these things. Come in."

He turned and jogged up the stairs; the boy and girl followed reluctantly behind him. While Baelfire was over at one of the bookcases collecting materials-Belle had no idea how he was finding anything-the two children looked around in awe at the place.

Belle smiled at them, but she remained quiet, just as Baelfire asked her to. She was curious, however, about what was outside. How was it possible there was a road out there when they were just in the mountains? Had the castle traveled to the city?

Deciding to see for herself so she could sate her curiosity, Belle stood, draping her cloak over the back of the chair. She winced in pain as she took a step; her feet were in really bad shape from not wearing the right shoes, but she managed to ignore the pain and make her way over to one of the covered windows. Pulling the drape back slightly she gasped. They weren't in the mountains; they were in the city! But it wasn't the city of Storybrooke. She was certain because off in the distance she could see an ocean. There wasn't an ocean near Storybrooke. If there had been, she would have been able to smell the salt in the air, like she could now from the aroma that was being wafted in from the still open door.

Turning around, she saw the little boy was staring at her. "Are you a witch too?" he asked, "You're beautiful."

Beautiful? That she was not. Neither was she a witch. Still she blushed slightly at the comment. What a nice boy. "I am," she told him playfully taking a step toward him, "and I live in a house made entirely of sweets. It lures little boys and girls like you inside so I an cook them for dinner!" Belle burst out into laughter.

The boy laughed as well, but his sister did not look amused even though it was obvious she was joking.

"Here," Baelfire said as he walked up to them and handed the girl a bag full of items, "Everything you needed."

"Thank you," the girl replied and dropped a few coins in Baelfire's hand. "C'mon Hansel let's go," she said to her brother, giving Belle one last glare before leaving.

Once they were gone and the door was closed, Baelfire removed his hood and looked at Belle angrily. "You shouldn't lie to the customers! My father's already going to be mad as it is."

Belle frowned, feeling bad, and also a little frightened. The more Baelfire and Lumiere talked of Rumplestiltskin, the less she wanted to meet him. She wanted to leave, but now she couldn't. Now that they were at the ocean, she had no idea how to get back to Storybrooke or how far away it was. "I was only teasing. I meant no harm." She paused, "But you wear a disguise. How is that any different?"

Baelfire grimaced, "Only because my father requires me to. He doesn't want anyone to know who I really am. He doesn't want them to even know I exist." He sighed, "It's a long story."

Belle was genuinely intrigued now. No wonder she had never heard of a son; he was only seen in disguise. She wanted to ask more questions, to know more, but before she could, a ringing bell interrupted them.

"The Storybrooke door," Lumiere called from across the room. Storybrooke? What? Belle still didn't understand what he was talking about. Why was he talking about Storybrooke when they were nowhere near it?

Putting his hood on once again, Baelfire went back to the door this time clicking the lock this time. When he did, the little wheel rang again switching from blue to red. The light above the door dimmed significantly.

Insanely curious about what was going on, Belle followed Baelfire so she could see out the door. When he opened the door, Belle scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. The door didn't lead outside anymore. Instead she could see down into what looked like a cluttered shop. But how was that possible?

She started down the few steps so she could get a better look. Baelfire heard her coming and whirled around, pushing her back. "You can't come in here. My father won't want you in his shop. He's already going to be mad that you're in his castle."

Shop? Rumplestiltskin had a shop? She had never heard of it. She backed up, showing him that she was going to obey his wishes. Baelfire then ran off into the shop, disappearing behind a purple curtain into another part of the shop. Belle wasn't going to disobey and go into the shop, but she couldn't help but lean out the door just to give it a quick glance through. It was just too intriguing to her, how the door had just opened to a city and now it opened in the back of a shop.

It was a quaint looking shop. Everything in it looked like antiques. Maybe it was an antique store. But why would Rumplestiltskin own an antique store? He obviously dealt in magic.

"I'm looking for Mr. Gold," she thought she heard a voice say from behind the curtain, but it was faint.

Baelfire's fake voice could be made out as well. "He's not here…"

Mr. Gold? But wasn't that the man who owned the pawnshop she had tried to go into when Leroy stopped her? What was going on? How could this be his shop? Feeling frightened and overwhelmed Belle went back over to the fireplace.

"I don't understand…" she said to Lumiere as she continued to stare at the door, "I know the castle can move, but how can we go from one place to the next in a matter of minutes?"

"It's a magic door my dear," Lumiere explained, "Used to get from one place to another in the blink of an eye. See the wheel at the top of the door?"

Belle nodded.

"The colors represent the place one wants to go."

Belle scrunched her eyes in confusion. "There are only four colors. Does that mean the door leads to only four places?"

"Indeed, but they can be changed. However, only Rumplestiltskin knows how to do that."

Belle heard the door shut and she looked over, seeing Baelfire returning. This time he took the whole cloak off and threw it back on the table. "Hungry?" he asked Belle.

"Yes, thank you," she replied not realizing it until he said something.

"C'mon, I'll show you were the kitchen is." He beckoned for her to follow him.

"Alright."

Baelfire led Belle through the door in the back of the room that he had come out of that morning. There was a long hallway behind it, still dark just like the other room.

"Why is it so dark Baelfire?" Belle asked, trying to make small talk and get to know the boy. She also wanted to know more about the castle.

"Oh, you can call me Bae. And that's the way my father likes it. He despises bright lights. Most of the curtains in the castle are nailed shut."

Belle wondered why that was, but she had only just met Bae so she wasn't going to pry. "So your father," Belle asked nervously, "What will he do once he finds me here?"

"Honestly, I don't know. He'll probably get angry-he has a bit of a temper-but I promise I'll stop him if he tries to hurt you."

Belle thought she heard something in Bae's voice, something that told her Rumplestiltskin has hurt others before. And it was apparent that Bae didn't agree with the behavior. Now she was truly frightened. She stopped, turning back toward the way she came. "M…maybe I should go…leave the castle…"

"No, please!" Bae pleaded, grabbing her arm so she wouldn't go anywhere. "Even if you leave now, he'll know and come find you. It will only make things worse." His voice began to shake. "He'll think you came for me, he'll know you know about me…it's better if you stay. I can protect you."

Belle took a deep breath. She had made a mistake. An incredibly horrible mistake and there was nothing she could do about it now. She nodded. "I guess I don't have a choice then."

"I'm sorry," Bae said before they quietly continued on through the hallway.

When they arrived at the kitchen, Belle was not shocked to see the state of it after seeing in the other room. However, the kitchen was probably worse. The sinks were stacked high with weeks worth of dirty dishes. They even spilled out over onto the floor.

The kitchen was also covered in cobwebs and dust, but it smelled more like mold. Belle wasn't sure she could stomach eating anything out of it. Just looking at it made her sick. Bae didn't notice her reluctance and walked over to a cabinet, opening it up to reveal tons of fresh food. There were vegetables, eggs, cheese, bread, potatoes, and fruits. It was odd how the cabinet didn't look filthy at all. It was just cluttered with enough food that could feed a person for a month. Perhaps it was enchanted to stay clean and keep the food fresh. That was her only explanation for being able to keep that much food around. The rest of the castle could use a spell like that, Belle thought.

Bae grabbed a plate of cheese and bread, enough for the both of them, while Belle picked up a metal container and lifted the lid to see what was inside; it contained fresh bacon. "Do you want bacon and eggs?" she asked.

He nodded. "Sure, but we have to cook in the Main Hall," he told her. "We can't get to the oven in here."

That was not a surprise. How could they get to anything? Belle grabbed a pan to take with them-there was only one clean one left hanging on the wall. She was shocked there were any at all.

"And that's if Lumiere's willing to let us," Bae added, "He usually only takes orders from Papa."

Belle smiled, recalling the deal she had made with Lumiere. "I don't think it will be an issue."

Once they were back in the Main Hall, Belle walked over to the fireplace and set the things down. Bae went over to the table and shoved a pile of stuff off on the floor so he could set the plate of bread and cheese on it.

Belle looked back at him, her face clearly showing how astonished and disappointed she was with his behavior. Bae glanced up at her and looked confused. "What?" he asked, oblivious that he had done anything out of the ordinary.

Belle just shook her head and smiled disbelievingly. "Do you enjoy living like this?"

"Like what?"

"With all this clutter! I know it's dark in here, but any one can see how filthy it is! With Rumplestiltskin's reputation, you would think he would at least use his magic to clean."

"Oh that," Bae chuckled, "Papa's a bit of a collector and he doesn't like using more magic than he has to. He always says magic comes with a price. I guess he doesn't think it's worth paying for a clean castle."

Belle strolled over to the table. "Well I can't eat like this, so you and I are going to clean this table off." She picked up a book off the table, and then went and filed it on the bookcase. She smirked back at Baelfire and added matter-of-factly, "Without throwing everything onto the floor."

Bae grinned, amused at her enthusiasm, but still confused. "Where do we put everything?"

Belle continued collecting things off the table, "We can neatly set it aside for now and find a place for it later. Put like things together so it will make it easier."

Bae nodded and began to help her. As they worked, Belle glanced up at the boy, trying to work up a question she had had in her mind since she had found out he was Rumplestiltskin's son. "So," she started, bringing up the subject delicately, "What about your mother? Does she approve of the castle being in this state?"

Bae frowned, sadness washing over him. "My mother died. Many years ago. It's just been my father and me for a long time now."

"Oh," Belle averted her eyes from him. She felt horrible now for bringing up the subject. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay," Bae replied, but didn't say anything else on the matter. He continued cleaning quietly without looking at her. Belle couldn't help but feel she had upset him when that wasn't her intent. She tried to think of something she could say to change the subject, to take his mind off the matter, but she didn't have to because the ringing of the door did it for her.

Belle looked up and saw the color on the wheel had changed to black. Where did the black lead? She didn't have long to wonder, however, because Lumiere's voice rang out with four words, four words Belle wasn't ready to hear.

"Baelfire, it's your father."

Bae swallowed hard and closed his eyes, not immediately turning around. If Belle's eyes had been focused on him, she would have noticed his whole demeanor had changed. But they weren't. No, they were focused on the cloaked figure stepping in through the door.

Slowly, agonizingly slow, the wizard shut the door behind him as he came into the room. The click of his black boots echoed through the room as they met with the steps. As he came into view, Belle couldn't see his face; he had his head down and the hood from his red velvet cloak was covering it.

Nearing the top of the stairs, he lifted his head just slightly, enough for Belle to catch a glimpse of what his face looked like. Belle gasped loudly when she saw him, the plate in her hand dropping to the floor and shattering into pieces. Her eyes widened in shock and she was shaking with fear.

He wasn't a man, he couldn't be a wizard, _he had to be a demon_. While he had the figure of a human, his skin wasn't the usual hue. Instead, it was thick and rough looking, mottled a golden color that glistened in the small amount of light.

But the most distinguishing feature, the one that made Belle sure that he wasn't human, were his large reptilian eyes. Not only was Belle sure they were the eyes of a demon, but they were also solely focused on her. And along with the scowl on his face, anyone could easily see they were burning with anger.


	11. Chapter 11

For what seemed like an eternity, the room remained eerily silent with nothing but a tremendous amount of tension and awkwardness filling the air.

Two words finally broke the silence; two words that were spat out like venom from the wizard’s mouth, never breaking eye contact with Belle as he spoke. “Leave us.” The statement was directed toward both Lumiere and Baelfire.

Lumiere, being a servant in the castle, had no oppositions, disappearing almost instantly when told to do so. The fire remained, but the face was gone. Baelfire, however, was not so easily persuaded. The boy took a deep breath before swirling around to greet his father with a large grin, pretending as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

“Papa! You’re home!” he said, running up to his father and embracing him in a hug. “I missed you yesterday.”

Rumplestiltskin barely acknowledged his son, returning his hug in a perfunctory manner.   His eyes remained unblinking, still lingering on Belle’s.   
            Belle didn’t know how much longer she could hold his gaze. Her palms were sweating, her heartbeat was quickening, and her whole body was shaking. She considered bolting for the door. However, not only was he blocking it, but there was also no way she could outrun a wizard. He had magic. She wasn’t sure what kind of magic. For all she knew, with one blink he could probably make her freeze in place, or he could transport himself wherever he needed to go. She couldn’t take the chance. It would only make the situation worse and more suspicious.

“Papa, this is Belle…” Baelfire started, trying to keep up the appearance that having a visitor was normal.

“Bae!” Rumplestiltskin exclaimed, not letting him finish. “I said. Leave. Us.” It was indisputable the wizard was trying to hold his temper with his son.

Bae frowned, realizing his method was not working. He glanced up at his father with pleading eyes. “Papa…please don’t hurt her! She doesn’t mean any harm…” He tried to plead her case, but Rumplestiltskin wouldn’t let him.

Rumplestiltskin’s eyes finally fell away from Belle, onto Bae, showing him he meant business. “BAE. GO. NOW.” He spoke sternly with his son and his fists were clenched at his sides.

Bae let out a shaky breath, knowing there was no reasoning with his father in this state, so he turned to leave. As he walked toward the exit, he passed by Belle, giving her an apologetic look.

Belle’s heart sunk. Bae had promised to protect her, but how could he do that if he wasn’t there? She didn’t know why she had believed him in the first place. What could a child do when up against a powerful wizard? It wasn’t like she wanted anything to happen to him anyway. She wasn’t sure what Rumplestiltskin would do if he became angry enough. Bae was just a boy, so it was better she was the one who faced his wrath instead.

After hearing the door slam behind her, Belle knew just only her and Rumplestiltskin remained. Her gaze had dropped to the floor. She couldn’t look into those demon eyes, not anymore; they were too frightening and intimidating.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” Rumplestiltskin demanded to know, rushing right up next to her as soon as he was sure his son was gone. He screamed at the top of his lungs; there was no denying he was angry.

Belle gasped as soon as she felt his presence right next to her. Her courage had completely faded, not allowing her to look back up at him. Her body tensed and she couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. “I..I…” Belle started, but before she could finish her sentence, before she could even come up with what to say, Rumple interrupted her, drilling her with questions as he started circling her like prey.

“How did you know to come here?! Why did you come here? What right do you have to do what you did then show up at my doorstep?! How did you even get in my castle?!” With every word, his voice rose higher and higher.

Do what she did? Wait…what was he talking about? Was she missing something or had she just misheard him? He was yelling so loud, it was hard to understand everything he was saying. Not to mention she was completely terrified.  

“WELL? ANSWER ME!” he screamed right in her ear causing her to flinch.

Belle still didn’t have an answer for him. She had only come in because of the cold and rain. And then there was the slight hope that he might be able to help with her memory loss…but after this reaction she knew that was a lost cause. She had expected him to be angry, but nowhere near as much as he actually was. Next time she would just stay out in the cold. Next time she wouldn’t listen to a cursed scarecrow who she now knew deserved the name she gave him: the Mad Hatter. She had to be a little mad as well. After all, she could have easily turned away from the castle and tried to find shelter somewhere else.

Her thoughts lingered on her mistake; causing a long moment of silence that Rumplestiltskin was clearing getting fed up with. “Perhaps a night in the dungeon will persuade you to speak up!” he exclaimed as he grabbed her by the arm and begun to drag her along toward the doorway.

Dungeon?! What?! He would actually lock her in a dungeon? “NO!” Belle exclaimed without hesitation, ripping her arm from his grasp and taking a few steps away from him. He still hadn’t removed his hood, so she couldn’t see his face very well and for that Belle was thankful. She didn’t think she would be able to stand up to him as easily if his face wasn’t concealed.  

“Very well,” he said keeping his distance and giving her one last chance, “Then _answer me_.” He spoke a little softer now, but she could still here the agitation in his tone. It was as if he was forcing himself to be calmer.

“I…I don’t know,” she finally said honestly, her voice barely above a whisper. It was an answer to all his questions, the only answer she had to give. She wasn’t sure how he’d react to her response, but it was the truth.

“You don’t know? _You don’t know?!?!?_ ” He basically spat the words out as if they tasted bad in his mouth. “You’ll have to do better than that dearie!” he shrieked in a singsong voice, stepping toward her again. Every word he spoke was accompanied by a flamboyant hand gesture that emphasized what he was trying to say.

Belle didn’t want him anywhere near her and she began to back away. Her heart was beating faster than ever and her palms were sweating. There were no words that could explain how terrified she was right now. Yet, she didn’t know what else to tell him. “It’s the truth!” she exclaimed trying to get him to believe her.

He pointed toward the entranceway to the castle. “Yes, and your Prince Charming will come bursting through that door any minute now to save you from the beast,” he said mockingly, creating a story that was unlikely to ever come true and motioning toward himself to show he was the beast he was referring to.

Belle wasn’t going to argue with him on that point. She had only known him several minutes and right now beast was the perfect word to describe him. Still, she knew he was basically telling her he didn’t believe her and she didn’t know how to convince him. There might be no convincing at all, at least not when he was in this mental state. Was her being in his castle really that big of a deal? Why couldn’t he see that she meant no harm, that she was telling the truth?

“I don’t! I swear!” she tried again even though she knew it was hopeless. He was coming closer to her and she was panicking, not knowing what he was about to do. “I…I…I…” she stuttered, feeling lightheaded from his coercion. “I don’t remember!” she finally confessed.

Rumplestiltskin stopped in his tracks and looked at her skeptically. “Memory loss, how _convenient_.” He shook his head. “Come up with something better, dearie. Otherwise you’ll spend your days rotting in that dungeon until you tell me the truth!”

“But it is!” she countered back, lost at what else to say or do. At first Belle had not wanted to tell him about her memory loss, but it was evident it didn’t matter now that she did. He obviously didn’t believe her and she didn’t think he was going to. “Please believe me!” Tears were forming in the corners of her eyes.

Rumplestiltskin let out a high-pitched giggle, sending a chill through Belle’s spine. He began stalking toward her again, this time with a little bit of hop in his step. It seemed as if he was enjoying this. Belle started to back away again, fearful of what he was about to do. She gasped as her back collided with something hard-the wall. She was cornered; there was nowhere else for her to go. She couldn’t escape this wizard or his wrath. He was going to lock her away in a dungeon all because he wouldn’t believe her; all because she had only needed a place to stay.  

He was mere inches away from her, getting closer every second. There was only one thing left Belle knew to do. It wouldn’t work, but looking back into those dark reptilian eyes caused her to lose all sense of reason. Swiftly she jerked to the side, bolting for the exit as fast as her little blistered feet would carry her.

“Oh no you don’t!” Rumple exclaimed, disappearing from where he was standing and reappearing right in front of her.   
            Belle gasped loudly, unable to stop when she was suddenly confronted with him as he came out of nowhere. Apparently he could use magic to teleport where he wanted to go.

Her body slammed right into his, causing her to almost fall to the floor, but he caught her by the arms just in time.

He pulled her close to his face, only leaving a mere centimeter between them. “You know too much-you’ve seen my son! You’re not going anywhere,” he growled down at her. Belle turned her head to the side because she did not want to look directly at him. She could feel bits of his saliva hit her cheeks as he spoke so forcefully and it made her stomach lurch.

“That is, except for the dungeon!” he added as if he was teasing her, but Belle knew he wasn’t. This was all just some cruel joke to him. Rumplestiltskin began pulling her along with him, back toward the door that led to other parts of the castle.

“Please!” she begged, trying to wiggle free of his grasp but couldn’t this time. “Don’t put me in there! I can’t go in there!” That had been exactly what she trying to avoid in Storybrooke: being locked up.

“Well you should have thought of that before you decided to deceive me!”

Belle continued to plead and beg as he dragged her along through the dark halls and down a set of stairs, but it was no use. He wasn’t listening or caring; she didn’t know which.   
            As they came to the bottom of the stairs, Belle couldn’t see any better than she could in other parts of the castle, but there was no doubt in her mind where she was: the dungeon. A wave of nausea surfaced as the air met her nose. It was stale, smelling putrid and moldy. She could hear leaking water dripping off in the distance as it echoed off the walls. There was a faint light from a torch on the wall, enough to illuminate the large solid wood door with a small window with steel bars.

Rumple didn’t have to let go of Belle to open the door as it swung open on it’s own. Giving her no chance to escape his grasp, Rumple shoved her inside with one swift push, slamming the door behind him.

Belle fell to her knees, but quickly clambering back up to her feet just in time to hear the lock click. Running to the door she pounded on it with both fists, continuing to plead with him even though she knew it was useless. “Please, you can’t leave me down here!” she called after him, but he didn’t answer.  
            Instead, she heard the sound of his footsteps as he ascended up the stairs, growing fainter and fainter until they disappeared altogether.   
            Finally realizing what she was doing was completely hopeless, Belle collapsed right there on her hands and knees, not caring that she landed in a shallow puddle of water. Tears began streaming down her face as she broke down. Her bawling echoed through the walls louder than the dripping. If he could hear her, she didn’t know, but she did know that he was too callous to care. But there was nothing she could do but cry. She had made a horrible mistake by coming to the Dark Castle and now she was paying the price.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clear up some confusion: there is a reason Rumplestiltskin didn't seem to believe Belle (something so obvious). It will be explained as the story goes on.

            As the day went on, Belle found herself completely alone and frightened. Every second was misery. Any moment she feared Rumplestiltskin would return and do god knows what to her. If he was willing to throw her in the dungeon, what else was he capable of? Would he torture her? Starve her? Oh gods, she shivered as the worse case scenario came to mind, but she quickly pushed the thoughts away. If she wanted to keep a hold of her sanity, she would have to force herself not to think about what may or may not happen.

Eventually she managed to pull herself up off the floor and curl up into a little ball on the stone slab that hung in the back of the cell. The front of her dress was soaked and filthy from seeping up the stagnant water on the floor, but she barely noticed. That was the least of her concerns.

Ultimately, her tears subsided, but her face remained red and puffy, sore from the excessive sobbing. She had lost the will to cry anymore. Her whole body was numb. All she could do was lay there and stare off toward nothing in particular. It wasn't like she could see anything anyway. The light was too dim. Even still, she continued to stare, zoning out the constant drip of water echoing off the walls. The only sound she tried to listen out for was the sound of footsteps-any indication that Rumplestiltskin was returning. Seconds, minutes, and hours passed by, but she never heard them.

At one point she thought she could hear someone-maybe more than one person-yelling, but it was too far away. She couldn't make out who they were or what they were saying. She had an inkling it was Rumplestiltskin...who else could it be? And he could only be yelling at Baelfire or Lumiere. From what she gathered from Bae, no one else lived in the castle. Oh gods, she hoped the boy was all right; hoped that Rumplestiltskin wasn't blaming him for letting her in. It was her fault she was here, not Bae's.

When all finally became quiet, she was left alone again with her thoughts and the steady rhythm of the dripping water. It was harder that way...she couldn't block out her thoughts when there was nothing else happening that she could focus on. She shut her eyes inhaling a shaky breath. All she wanted to do was forget. Forget the feel of that monster's hands on her arms-hands that were barely human, covered in gold scales with fingernails as black as night. Forget the way those reptilian eyes bore into hers making her want to rip her very soul out if it would allow her to escape. Forget the way she felt when he stood so near-the fright that had brought her to the brink of almost passing out. Forget that shrill voice that sent shivers down her spine like she was living a real life nightmare. But this was a nightmare and it was real. She thought she was bad off before when she had only lost her memories. Now she had lost her memories and her freedom all within two days.

More time passed, but Belle had no real sense of how much. There was no window to the outside world, so she couldn't even be sure it was still daylight out. However, she never moved from the concrete slab, even though it was incredibly uncomfortable, too afraid and drained to will herself to do so. She tried hard not to fall asleep. What if he returned while she was passed out? What would he do? Soon, though, her body finally gave out from exhaustion and her eyes drifted shut, sending her off into a restless and dreamless sleep.

            Early the next morning, the sound of a light pitter-patter trailing down the stairwell and then the clanking of the locks on the dungeon door startled Belle out of her slumber. In the blink of an eye she was sitting up, backing away into the corner as far as she could possibly go, pulling her knees up to her chest and hugging them as tight as possible. Rumplestiltskin had finally returned.

She could feel her whole body shivering, partly from the slight chill in the dungeon, but mostly from the trepidation.

In the doorway, she could easily see the silhouette of the person standing there, Rumple, once it was all the way open, but she couldn't make out his face.

"Please..." she heard her little horse voice start to beg, tears filling her eyes once more. She couldn't come up with any more words besides that. Everything had been already been said. If he was going to have mercy on her, then it would be his choice, not because of anything she did or said. Unable to control herself, she shut her eyes tight and began sobbing once more, unsuccessfully keeping the noise hushed.

"Belle, Belle, it's me Bae," the figure said stepping closer to her and placing a hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

Belle flinched at his touch, but when she registered that the voice wasn't Rumplestiltskin's, she opened her eyes to see Bae standing there before her, holding a lit torch. "Bae?" she asked in a disbelieving voice, wanting to make sure it was really him before she said or did anything stupid. Even though she could clearly see his face in the dim light the torch was giving off, she was still struggling to accept Rumple hadn't returned.  

"Yes Belle, it's me, just me," Bae replied softly with a reassuring smile on his face.

Belle instantly relaxed and sighed heavily. Letting go of her knees, she let them fall to her side, but she didn't stand. While wiping away the tears on her cheeks she asked, "What are you doing here?"

Bae took a seat next to her. "Well I came to check on you," he started hesitantly, "To make sure my father didn't hurt you. He didn't did he?"  
            Belle could see Bae examining her closely as if looking for wounds or bruises. Physically no, Rumple hadn’t harmed her, but emotionally yes. However, she wasn't going to tell the boy that. She knew he was referring to physical trauma. She shook her head. "No."

Bae sighed as well, relieved.

"Does your father know you're down here?" Belle asked, concerned. Rumplestiltskin was already angry enough and he seemed very over protective with his son. She didn't want him to find out the boy had been visiting her without permission, both for her sake and for his. If he did, she assumed somehow she would get blamed for it even though it was out of her control.

"Oh, he does," Bae replied briskly after hearing the worry in her voice. "He actually sent me down here, you know, he thought it would be easier if I came instead of him. He knows you don't want to see him."

That was an understatement. "So...so..." Belle inhaled sharply, trying not to cry again, “What does he want? Why did he send you here?”

Bae bit his bottom lip, “He wants you to join us for breakfast.”

“What?” Belle questioned, shocked. “No!” she exclaimed, not even having to think about it. Even though she was famished from not having eaten in over a day, she would not dine with that monster.

Bae looked at her pleadingly. “Belle please, you have to. He made it clear that if you don’t come eat with him, then you don’t eat at all. I don’t want you to starve! And I’m not sure I’d be able to sneak food down here without him knowing!”

Belle frowned. Of course the beast would give her an ultimatum. Why would he want to eat with her anyway? What did he want with her? Probably to continue to denigrate her, perhaps punish her for coming in the castle. “I don’t want to have anything to do with him,” she told Bae stubbornly. She wasn’t sure how long she would be able to go without food before she gave in, but she didn’t want to give Rumplestiltskin the satisfaction so soon.

“Belle,” Bae started, trying his hardest to convince her, “He won’t be like he was last night, I promise. He’s calmed down-he’s different…”

Belle looked at him and furrowed her brow, not understanding. “Different?”

“Yeah…” Bae paused, “It’s hard to explain…you just have to trust me.”

Belle chewed on her bottom lip, unsure of what to do. She had no idea what Bae was talking about. How could that monster be any different? Could she actually believe that he wouldn’t start yelling at her again as soon as she went upstairs? She had trusted Bae when he said he’d protect her, but that didn’t work out too well. Her growling stomach was fighting with her reason, making her want to accept the offer. Still, she was too frightened to give in.

Glancing down at her lap, she began to fiddle with her skirts, twisting them up in her fists. "What is he going to do with me Bae? Do you think he’ll ever let me go?"

Bae frowned and looked down at the floor. "No," he said bluntly. "I tried to convince him. _Really_ tried. We actually argued about it for a long time last night."

So she hadn't imagined the yelling she was hearing, Belle thought before Bae continued.

"But I got him to agree to let you stay-not in the dungeon, but the castle." Bae paused, briefly, "On one condition."

Belle didn't know what to think. "What is it?"

"You'll have to be our maid."

The maid?! Belle's stomach lurched at the thought. Under any other circumstances she might be more amiable to the idea, but the idea of being Rumplestiltskin's maid filled her with nothing but dread. For one, the state of the castle was well beyond what one would call unkept and disorganized. It was just one big nasty agglomeration of things. To clean and organize it would take months...even years. Oh gods, how long would she be forced to stay here? Would he let her leave once she was done? Would he ever let her leave?

Her main reservation, however, was the fact that her boss would be a monster who would most likely continue to treat her poorly. She wasn't sure she had enough stamina to put up with Rumplestiltskin everyday. Bae was a sweetheart, that was a plus, but Rumplestiltskin on the other hand....well they were nothing alike. She was still in shock at the way the wizard had reacted to her presence; it was nowhere near Bae's reaction. Yes, Bae had been skeptical of her at first, but he didn’t act anywhere near the way his father had.

The more she thought about it the more she realized she couldn’t see any family resemblance between Bae and his father. They didn’t even look alike, which only made her surer Bae was a stolen baby from the stories she knew. Since it was clear Rumple didn’t want anyone to know about Baelfire, her assumption was only further reinforced.

Belle closed her eyes, trying to let everything sink in. "I assume I don't really have a choice?" she questioned disheartened, mainly to confirm what she already knew.

Bae shook his head sadly. "My father was very specific. That or the dungeon."

Belle sighed again, not knowing what to do except curse herself for getting into such a mess.

“But I wasn’t supposed to tell you all this…he was going to tell you at breakfast, but you have to join us first. And you have to pretend like you don’t know.”

“Bae…I…” Belle started, ready to deny the offer again.

Bae shifted where he could look at her straight on. “Belle, just trust me. It won’t be like you think…he’s not angry anymore…”

“Not angry anymore?!” she scoffed unable to stop herself. How was that possible? That might only be the case if he believed her, which he made very clear the night before that he didn’t.

“I know it’s hard to believe, but you just have to trust me. My father has the tendency to overreact…especially when…especially when…” The boy began to stutter and he averted his eyes from hers, but not before Belle was able to catch the look of sadness in them and the few tears that were forming in the corners.

“Especially when what?” she asked a little intrigued now.

“Just, never mind. You’ll understand soon enough.” Bae stood to his feet and looked down at her. “I promise you Belle, if you join us, he will be on his best behavior at breakfast.”

Belle glanced up at the boy, who was holding his hand out for her to take. He seemed sincere and she wanted to believe him, she really did, but it was just next to impossible. However, if she remained down in the dungeon she was sure to starve to death, which would be slow agonizing torture all on its own. The only inkling that made her not completely disbelieve Bae, was the fact that Rumple had sent his son in place of himself, knowing it would be easier on her. Or perhaps the wizard just wanted to use his son to manipulate her. If that was the case, she was certain Bae knew nothing of it. The boy seemed genuine.

Taking a deep, nervous breath, Belle’s hand slowly inched upward, until it met with Bae’s. As much as she didn’t want to face that beast, hunger had won her over. “Alright,” she said, letting Bae help her to her feet, “I’ll go.”

Bae sighed in relief, a small smile forming on his face. “There’s no need to worry, I promise,” he tried to assure her as he led her out of the cell, not letting go of her hand.

Belle gulped. If only she could believe that were true then she could ignore the feeling in her gut that told her breakfast with Rumplestiltskin was a terrible idea.

As she ascended the staircase with Bae, she prayed silently that everything would all work out in the end.  

 


	13. Chapter 13

Bacon and eggs. That was the smell wafting through Belle’s nose as she neared the door to the Main Hall. Those were also the same foods she had been preparing the day before when Rumplestiltskin had arrived. And thinking about that moment made her stop, causing Bae to come to halt as well because their hands were still interlocked.   
            Bae turned around with a questioning look on his face. “Belle?”

Belle shut her eyes, thinking about each and every breath she was taking. “I don’t think I can do this.”

Bae frowned. “Belle you can’t back out now, we’re almost there and then you’ll see. You just have to trust me.” He squeezed her hand reassuringly.  
            Belle’s eyes opened again and she gave him a small smile. Inhaling sharply, she nodded her head and stepped forward, right up to the door. “You first,” she told Bae, still incredibly nervous about this whole thing.   
            Bae didn’t argue with her. Instead, he let go of her hand and reached up to grab the door handles. Slowly, he pushed the big heavy doors open with all his might to reveal the room Belle had become acquainted with over the past couple of days.

He took a few steps inside and looked back toward Belle, waiting for her to follow him.

Belle took one last deep breath and braced herself for what might come before she cautiously walked into the room. Glancing around, she looked for Rumplestiltskin. Her eyes finally found him standing over by the fireplace with his back to them. The scent of bacon and eggs was incredibly strong now and she could hear a sizzling noise coming from there; he was cooking breakfast.

Rumple didn’t turn around when they walked in-just continued about with what he was doing. She wondered if he even knew they were there. If he didn’t-well, she certainly couldn’t work up the courage to say something. So she just stood there nervously wringing her hands in her skirts and trying to stay calm.

Bae grabbed her hand again and gave her a smile, nudging her to come sit at the table with him. Belle hesitated, glancing toward it. It was still mostly cleaned off, but in one corner there was a pile of books and papers. Gods, could they at least try to keep it clean? How was she ever going to manage being the maid? If she weren’t so frightened of Rumplestiltskin, she probably would have scolded him.            

“Please, sit,” came a voice from across the room-Rumplestiltskin’s voice-but it didn’t sound anything like him. It was calm and soft for one, and it wasn’t as shrill as she remembered. It was also hinted with a deep brogue, but she couldn’t quite place the origin.

He still hadn’t turned around, but obviously he knew they were there. Not wanting to disobey, she walked over to the table and pulled out the chair furthest from the fireplace. She was about to sit when she stopped herself, noticing it was covered in junk. She rolled her eyes and began collecting the things off the chair, sitting them neatly aside on the floor, having no where else to put them at the moment.  
            Bae sat down in the chair adjacent to her. It was already cleaned off so she assumed it was just because one of them may have been sitting in it earlier.

As Belle took her seat, her eyes remained on Rumplestiltskin, watching him carefully. She could tell he was almost done cooking breakfast, because she saw him dump the eggs onto a plate and move to put the dirty pan off to the side. But she did a double take when she noticed his hands as they held onto the plate and pot handle. They looked _human_ -made of pink and pale flesh, not gold scales. Wait? That couldn’t be right… It had to be a trick of the light. If there was one thing she could remember, it was the look and feel of those hands; those were not the same hands. Or were they?

She began to wonder what the rest of him looked like. The day before she had never truly gotten a good look at his face-just his eyes. She would never forget those eyes. They would haunt her for the rest of her life. That was one thing she was dreading-looking into them again. She wasn’t sure she would be able to handle it.

He wasn’t wearing a cape anymore so she knew when he turned around she would for once be able to get a good look at him. His clothes though however, looked normal, not ones one would expect a wizard to wear. He was wearing a black business suit-minus the jacket, which she spotted thrown over the chair she had slept in her first night there. A cane rested right next to it, but she didn’t think anything about it, assuming it was just another piece of junk amidst the mess.

The burgundy dress shirt he wore looked nice, expensive, and crisp-not a wrinkle to be seen. Belle wondered if he dressed like this all the time. Had he been wearing something like that under the cape he had on the day before?

The only thing that appeared to be the same was his hair: straight, brown with a hint of gray, and longer than most men wore it, falling down to his shoulders.

He was finished now…Belle could see as he picked up the plates and moved to turn around to walk over to the table. Suddenly, she seemed to lose the little bit of courage she had left and her eyes darted to the floor. She couldn’t look at him. She could hear his footsteps as he walked toward her; she could feel him standing there; feel his eyes boring down on her, but she could not bring herself to look up at him. Those eyes…those reptilian, demon-like eyes…she never wanted to see them again. There was too much evil, too much darkness burning in them. If she looked into them now she was certain she would not be able to hold it together.  

Time seemed to stand still as she continued to stare down at the floor and he watched her. She knew he wouldn’t remain quiet for long. He was bound to say something and it wouldn’t be good, but still no matter how hard she tried to force words out of her mouth she remained mute and frozen. This was a horrible idea…however did she let Baelfire talk her into it? Tears began to well up in her eyes and she could feel her body shaking with fear. Closing her eyes, she tried to remain calm. Crying would not bring forth any sympathy from this man…beast, she corrected herself. She had to remain strong, but she knew she was failing.  
            That was until she felt the warm touch of another on her hand, which was resting on the table. Slowly, her eyes eased opened and she saw a hand a top hers. Moving her head up ever so slightly she could see it belonged to Baelfire. He was smiling at her in the most assuring way and mouthing to her that everything would be okay. It was a small gesture, but it was enough, enough to calm her and build up her courage again. She could do this; she could face the beast.

Slowly she tilted her head all the way up, moving her gaze away from Baelfire and onto Rumplestiltskin, not stopping until her eyes finally locked with his. And when they did, she was not prepared for what she saw. No demon eyes….no reptile eyes…no evil…no darkness… No, the eyes she was sitting there gazing into…they were human eyes…beautiful chocolate brown eyes that held nothing but softness, caring, some sadness…no a lot of sadness…sorrow, and there was one more thing shining in them…something she didn’t recognize. Did these eyes really belong to the same man? Was the man standing before her really Rumplestiltskin?   
            It really looked nothing like him. Peachy, smooth skin-no scales. No dark black fingernails, no pointy yellow teeth. Just a man-a normal looking man-quite handsome too. She shook that thought from her mind real quickly. He might be handsome, but he was still a monster.

“Something on my face?” Rumplestiltskin asked with a little jest in his voice and a quirky smile on his lips.

“Oh no, no,” Belle said as she finally broke eye contact with him after realizing she had been staring for an unusually long time. He was probably about to yell at her about it. But what did he expect? He had changed his entire appearance. Of course she was bound to stare! But she had also done nothing wrong the night before and all he did was scream at her.

Despite knowing that she had been staring, Belle continued to watch him carefully, scrutinizing this new appearance, as he placed the steaming hot food on the table, next to the plates and silverware. Bae began to serve himself eagerly, scooping a very large portion of the eggs onto his plate, grabbing two pieces of toast, and three slices of bacon. Rumplestiltskin, however, only took his seat and continued watching Belle, making no motions to fill his plate. There was a sickingly sweet smile on his face and any moment now, Belle knew he was about to yell at her, but still, he didn’t.

Instead, he addressed Bae, who had stuffed almost an entire piece of toast in his mouth and was currently trying to chew, while stuffing in eggs. “Bae, a gentleman does not eat in such a manner with a lady present,” he said to the boy, with a slightly scolding tone befitting of a father, “and we always allow our guests to serve themselves first.”

Bae looked ashamed as he glanced between his father and Belle. He swallowed the mouth full of food and set his fork down. “Sorry,” he said, shooting an apologetic glance at Belle.

She knew the apology was meant for her, so she smiled at the boy and replied softly, “It’s quite alright.”

In all honestly, she could care less about manners in that moment. There were more pressing matters on her mind. But why did Rumplestiltskin care? It seemed out of character from the person who had greeted her the day before. If he really considered her a ‘guest,’ then he had a thing or two to learn about how to treat one.

They were both looking at her and it suddenly hit her they were waiting for her to fill her plate. Coming out of her stupor, she cautiously picked up her plate and put a moderate portion of each item on it. She couldn’t deny all the food looked and smelled delicious; it caused her to remember how hungry she was. Yet, the hunger wasn’t enough for her to forget who her company was.

She had been so certain that Rumple was going to yell at her-yet he continued to remain calm and quiet as he fixed his plate after her. Bae resumed eating-a little more politely this time-while his father took a few bites as well. Rumple’s eyes remained fixed on his plate, only glancing up at Belle once or twice.

Belle could feel herself staring again, but she couldn’t help it. She had no idea what was going on. And she couldn’t get over how Rumplestiltskin looked. It had to be some sort of disguise, a trick with magic, the same sort of disguise Bae had used when he greeted people at the door. But which version was the real Rumple? The green-gold scaly, angry demon she met the night before? Or the handsome, well-mannered, middle-aged gentleman sitting in front of her right now? Handsome-she used that word again.

“Not hungry?” Rumple asked her, breaking the silence.

Belle tried not to gasp as she realized she was staring again. His eyes had darted from her plate to her face. “No, I am,” she replied, finally picking up her fork, but no food.

“Then eat,” he said slightly in a commanding way, but with a little bit of worry. Was it worry? No. He wouldn’t be worried about her.

Belle nodded and her eyes fell to her plate. Mindlessly, she swirled the fork around in her eggs as she continually glanced back up at Rumplestiltskin.

He took a few more bites, before placing his fork down as well to give her all his attention. “Something on your mind, my dear?” he asked.

Belle got the impression he was trying to contain himself, but then again he called her ‘my dear.’ An endearment. What was that about? She was nothing to him.

He was remaining calmer than ever-not yelling, like she was still convinced he would. They sat there for a few moments-eyes locked on one another, until she finally worked up the courage to answer him. “Ar…aren’t you going to yell at me?” she squeaked out, nervous and scared.

“Have you done anything to warrant being yelled at?”

Belle furrowed her brow. “No…” Of course she hadn’t! What kind of question was that? “But I also didn’t do anything last night either. Yet, you saw no problem with shouting at me and treating me absolutely horrible-like I wasn’t even a human being.”

Rumplestiltskin scoffed and brushed it off with a playful grin and a small wave of the hand. “What can I say? I have the tendency to overreact.” He spoke in a sweet tone as if it was something she shouldn’t be upset about.

“Overreact?! You threw me in the dungeon!” Belle didn’t know what was coming over her-talking back like that. She knew what this man might be capable of, yet she couldn’t stop. The anger was very clear in her expression and she had completely abandoned the notion of eating despite how much her stomach was growling at her.

“And now you are out of the dungeon. What more do you want from me?”

The answer to that question was easy. “I want you to let me go,” she replied matter-of-factly, crossing her arms in front of her.

Rumple shook his head and went back to eating. “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“And why not? What are you afraid of?”

“I am afraid of nothing,” he barked back defensively, “but as I told you last night-you know of my son. I cannot let you go.”

Belle cast a quick glimpse over a Baelfire who had paused eating, clearly waiting to see if he would need to intervene if things escalated.

However, despite being defensive, Rumplestiltskin was still calm, even taking a few bites of his food. Why did he care if she knew about Baelfire? What did he think she was going to do? “I’m not going to kidnap him if that’s what you think,” she said bitterly as she finally took the first bite of her eggs, knowing she wasn’t going to get anywhere with this man…BEAST. He was a beast; that she was sure of.

Her food was only lukewarm now, but it was still absolutely delicious. The man could cook; there was no doubt about that. The bacon and toast was just as heavenly and the orange juice was freshly squeezed. Under any other circumstances, she probably would have thanked him for such a lovely meal.

“Besides, where would you go? If I let you free,” Rumple continued, taking her thoughts away from the food and back to the issue at hand, “You have no memory of who you are.”

Belle was about to answer him when she paused. “Wait…” she said confused and taken aback, “ _You believe me_?”

“Of course I believe you, why else do you think I let you out of that dungeon?”

Belle could feel her anger began to surface again. She wanted to slam her fork down and storm off, but she didn’t know anything about the castle, so that wasn’t an option. He would probably stop her anyway. “Why did you put me there in the first place?” she demanded to know. Now she was the one trying to remain calm.   
            “Like I said…I have the tendency to overreact.” Rumple waved another dismissive hand through the air.

Overreact…overreact. By gods, if he said that word again, she might be the one to ‘overreact.’ What he had done was more than an overreaction. There had to be something else behind this that he was unwilling to say. But he believed her. Did that mean he believed her all along? Why had he acted in such a manner? Why was he acting so differently now? He had not apologized, so she knew he couldn’t feel any remorse. If he did then he was just too proud to admit it.

“What are you going to do with me?” she finally asked, feeling like she was just going in circles trying to talk to him. He was obviously not going to tell her anything, nor let her go. And she already knew the answer to her question-Baelfire had told her. She was to be his maid, a job she was not looking forward to one bit.

“Well as you’ve probably noticed,” Rumple said as he motioned around the room, “I am in need of a caretaker for my rather large estate. And seeing as you were so eager to tidy up the room yesterday, I’m prepared to offer you the job.”

Tidy up the room? Is that where he got this ridiculous idea? Why did he think she was _eager_? Who wouldn’t tidy up the room if they saw it? Apparently not him, nor Baelfire. “And if I refuse?”

“Then you will be spending your days and nights in the dungeon.”

It was a threat. A threat she knew he would carry through with. And that was not what she wanted. One night in that dungeon was enough-although she would sure she would spend more there. When she wasn’t out doing her duties, he would probably keep her there. Well, Belle told herself, she didn’t really have an option. Her only hope to get out would be her deal with Lumiere. Maybe she would find a way to escape…perhaps Bae would even be willing to help. But Rumple’s words ran through her head: Where would she go? Anywhere but here…

“Clean? And that’s all you want me to do?” she asked, worried there might be an ulterior motive behind his offer.

“Yes, clean the castle, serve the meals, dust my collection, launder our clothing...”

Belle nodded as a silent way to show she was agreeing to it, her eyes casting downwards while she took in everything he listed off she would need to do. It wasn’t like she really had a choice.

“Baelfire can show you where all the cleaning supplies are,” Rumple explained as he finished his last bite of breakfast.

There were cleaning supplies? That was hard to believe.

Having finished eating, Rumplestiltskin stood and grabbed a cane that was leaning against the table. Wait, cane!? Why did he need a cane? Had he used it when he walked to the table earlier? She couldn’t remember…she wasn’t looking at him, but now she recalled it leaning against the chair. And now that she looked closely, as he walked over and picked up his black suit jacket from the chair at the fireplace, she could see a noticeable limp in his step. There was something wrong with his foot or maybe it was his knee. But he was a wizard. Couldn’t he just use magic to heal it? She wasn’t sure without asking. Which she wanted to, but knew it wasn’t a good idea.

He slipped the jacket on and Belle could see now that it had a handkerchief in the pocket that matched his shirt and tie. He was so well put together…so handsome. She shook her head.

“I shall be out for the day, but I expect dinner on the table when I return,” Rumple instructed.

Belle nodded. “Yes, got it.” Anything to stay off his bad side.

“And you will join me for dinner…for every meal actually,” he said as a final demand.

What? Why? She didn’t want to be around him any more than she had to! Now she was going to have to eat every meal with him? “And if I don’t?” she asked, challenging him.

He seemed unphased by her challenge. “It’s entirely up to you, but know if you don’t eat with me, then you will not eat at all.”

Belle glared at the man. How did that make it _her_ decision? If those were the terms, then she was going to choose to eat with him, well, maybe. She could probably handle it if he continued to be _slightly_ pleasant-not the monster she saw the night before. However, she was not going to let him call all the shots. She was going to show him that she held some kind of control. “Very well,” she started, “I can agree to that as long as you can agree you will never act the way you did towards me as you did last night.” She was not going to put up with such behavior.

He stared at her long and hard-his expression completely unreadable. Of course he wasn’t going to agree to that. Why did she even ask…demand? What had gotten into her? Did she have a death wish? Any moment now, he was going to explode. But as she looked into his deep brown eyes, she didn’t see any anger, only more sorrow and that thing again…that thing she didn’t recognize.  

“I promise you, Belle…” he started softly.

He used her name…that foreign name, but her name nevertheless…Belle’s mouth fell open in shock.

“…I promise you I will do everything I can to make sure you never see that side of me again.” He looked so sad as he turned to walk toward the door and Belle could not come up with anything to say in return. She was entirely taken aback. It was not the response she had expected…and he had sounded so sincere-like he truly meant what he said-like it pained him to think she might see that monster again. For the first time, she thought she might have saw a glimpse of a man…not just a beast…and she had no idea how that made her feel.

Rumplestiltskin turned the knob that switched the little wheel above the door to the color red-the one Belle remembered was called the Storybrooke door. Rumple placed his hand on the doorknob, about to open it when he paused and turned back around to look at Belle sheepishly. “Eh…you may clean any room any the castle, just don’t get carried away.” And with that he opened the door and was gone, leaving Belle and Baelfire alone together once more.


	14. Chapter 14

Belle sat and stared at the door long and hard, watching, waiting to see if Rumplestiltskin was going to come back, even though he just told her he would be out most of the day. She just preferred to make sure he was gone before she let her guard down. But the door remained unmoving; he wasn’t coming back right now.

“See, I told you Papa wouldn’t be that bad,” Baelfire noted, bringing Belle attention to him.

Belle looked over at the boy and smiled slightly. He was very optimistic. “Yes, he was…calm.” That was really the best word she could come up with. No, he didn’t scream and shout at her, but he had threatened her in a way. He had basically told her she would be his prisoner for life. She wasn’t quite sure the description “not bad” suited Rumplestiltskin.

Still, he his demeanor, personality, temper and looks were entirely different than what she had encountered the day before. It raised a ton of questions that were begging to be answered. “Why is your father…” She paused, trying to think of the best way to word it. She didn’t want to offend Baelfire. “I don’t understand, what is going on? Why was he so different?”

Bae frowned and averted his gaze. “I…it’s a long story and _very_ complicated…”

Belle looked at him pleadingly, desperately wanting to know. “You can tell me. Perhaps if understood him better…”

“You might become friends?” Bae interrupted.

Belle thought it was a joke at first, but when she glanced up at the boy he looked hopeful. “Oh…Bae…I don’t think we could ever be friends. After what he’s done…”

Bae sighed and looked down at his plate. He seemed a little down heartened, but his tone still had some optimism in it. “I know he may seem horrible at first…but that’s not really him. Deep down my father is kind, caring…he would never hurt anybody.”

Belle frowned, feeling sympathy for the boy. He had such faith in his father, but she just couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe there was a man behind the monster. Or could she? Right before he left she had gotten a glimpse of one… But there was no way Rumplestiltskin could ever be the way Baelfire described.

She was about to ask Baelfire to elaborate on his father when the doorbell rang.

“Oh! Customers!” Baelfire exclaimed, jumping up from the table and almost knocking his plate to the floor. Belle was just thankful it wasn’t Rumplestiltskin, but then again he wouldn’t use the doorbell.

Bae motioned for Belle to get up too and follow him. “Quick, let me show you where all the supplies are so we both can get to work!”

Belle sighed as she took her napkin out of her lap and put it on top of her plate. The conversation about Rumplestiltskin would just have to wait. Well, it wasn’t like she didn’t have all the time in the world…

Belle stood and took her plate along with Baelfire’s to the kitchen even though there was no room left for them remotely near the sink. Gods how was she ever going to get this place clean? Where would she even start? It was all so overwhelming.

After quickly showing her the supply closet, Bae bid Belle good day-with promises to meet up with her later-and ran off to tend to the customers.

Belle groaned as she looked in the closet. The inch of dust and spider webs alone that covered everything: the brooms, mops, buckets, etc., told her this stuff hadn’t been touched in a very long time-if ever. She was shocked they actually _had_ a cleaning supply closet. Well…at least she knew where to start. She couldn’t clean any of the other rooms until the cleaning supplies were in order.

Getting right to it, she worked diligently for about an hour until everything in the closet was spotless and ready to be used. For that short period of time, she had been so focused, so concentrated, that she almost was able to forget everything that had just happened to her. Almost.

As she was wiping away the last bit of grime on the broom handle, she out of nowhere fell to her knees and burst out in tears. This was to be her life. This. The maid of some insane wizard who would treat her poorly and had probably never picked anything up a day in his life. She would never get her memories back; it was obvious he wasn’t going to help her. When he admitted he believed her-about losing them in the first place-he had made no mention of helping her, nor was she ever going to ask him. She was doomed. There was no hope. Unless she found a way to escape she would be here forever. And since he was a powerful wizard-she had no idea how long forever could be. For all she knew he could keep her from aging, keep her from ever dying. There would be no out.

But she was going to have to pull herself together and make the most of it. Somehow she could find some happiness here-maybe. She tried to think of all the positives. At least she wouldn’t be alone. She would have Baelfire as company and he was a sweet boy. Again, how could he possibly be that monster’s son? And then there was Lumiere… he seemed friendly enough. There was a roof over her head…clothes…well she didn’t know about that. All she had brought with her was the bluedress she was wearing and a cape. Would he provide her with more? She certainly couldn’t keep wearing the same dress everyday. After a while, especially cleaning this mess, it would be ruined until it eventually became rags.

Then there was food…she would be well fed…as long as she ate with Rumplestiltskin. That wasn’t really a positive. She didn’t want to be anywhere near him. Yet, she had already agreed to it. She just hoped he would hold up to his promise.

Finally calming down, she wiped away the messy tears, stood, and brushed herself off. She decided to make a vow to herself then. She was not going to waste away wallowing in fear of this beast. If he confronted her again she would stand up to him. What more could she lose? She would find a way to have some kind of happiness here-if only a little-and she would never give up trying to find a way to get her memories back. Besides…she still had a little hope. There was her deal with Lumiere. Maybe he would come through, but that was only if she was able to break the curse on him. And she didn’t even know where to begin doing that. She had no knowledge of magic, but she wasn’t going to lose hope.

            The rest of the day Belle focused on the kitchen. If she was going to have to cook every meal then she would need a decent and sanitary place to do it in. However, as she looked it over, she knew she wasn’t going to be able to get it all done in one day, despite the fact that she could work at a fast pace. So, the only thing she could do for now was to get it where she could move around in it; take it one step at a time.   
            By the time it came time to cook dinner, Belle had managed to clean out the oven so she could use it. The mountain of dishes had been washed and set aside, but not put away. She would have to find places for them later. She wasn’t going to stick them in dirty cupboards.

By the end of it, however, the dishes weren’t the only thing to get washed. Her dress, her undergarments, and even her hair were completely drenched. Not only that, but she had nothing else to change into. Yet, she was not going to ask Rumplestiltskin for anything, so she was just going to suffer through it. Wringing out her skirts the best she could, she began to cook dinner, trying to ignore how cold she was and how much her feet still ached.

            Once dinner was prepared, she collected all the hot steamy food on one large tray and made her way to the Main Hall where they had dined in earlier. She had planned on cleaning that room next, but given the state of the kitchen she had not had a chance. Oh well…it would be the next room on her list after she finally finished the kitchen.

            As she approached the Main Hall, she could hear voices. Rumplestiltskin was home. She felt a little dissapointed, having hoped that perhaps he would get stuck out late so she wouldn’t have to deal with him.   
            With her hands full of food, she partially pushed the door open ready to enter, but paused when she heard Bae and Rumple’s conversation. They were arguing. Now was not an opportune time to enter, despite how much her arms screamed at her to put the tray down.

            Belle briefly tried to decide what to do…she didn’t want to eavesdrop although her curiosity was getting the best of her. Afraid to let the door close because they might hear it, she decided to take a peek and see what they were arguing about.

            Rumple was standing there looking at his son painfully. He still looked like an ordinary man, which flooded Belle with relief, but it was clear he was still upset.

            “How could you forget to tell me, son?” Rumple asked, shaking a sheet of paper in front of him.

            “I’m sorry Papa! I really am! I just forgot!” Bae’s voice was pleading.

            “You have to stop being so careless! They came again today and took me by surprise…luckily I was able to talk them into coming back tomorrow…”

            They? Who were they? What was Rumple talking about? Belle had thought he was angry-and he was-but it was more of an ‘I’m frightened’ kind of angry. She was intrigued and wanted to know more. Unfortunately as Rumple started his next sentence, a glare from Belle’s tray caught the dim light flashing on his face and grabbing his attention.

            “If they find out about you…” Rumple’s eyes shot up and his expression softened. “Belle…”

            She smiled weakly and pushed the door all the way open. Was he going to be upset with her about eavesdropping? It didn’t look like it. “Dinner’s ready,” she said holding up the tray, her arms burning in agony.

            “Please, come in,” Rumple offered, smiling. He glanced over at Bae as he tucked the paper into his jacket pocket. “We’ll finish this discussion later. Go wash up.”

            Bae nodded and ran off to the other room to obey his father, flashing Belle a look as he went by to show her he was relieved she had entered when she did.

            Belle hesitantly took steps toward the table, trying not to keep her head down. She was determined not to be frightened of Rumplestiltskin-although she knew she should be-so she was going to look him in the eye whenever possible.

            His clothes were still as immaculate as when he left that morning. No wrinkle in sight, no hair on his head out of place. And despite what she just witnessed he seemed to be in good spirits and even acting as if he was happy to see her. No that couldn’t be… She walked closer toward the table, which was still partly cleaned off-thank goodness.

As she neared him, he started to say something but halted when he got a good look at her soaking wet dress and her hair that was plastered to her head.

“Belle! What have you been doing?” he exclaimed.

Belle set the tray down and rolled her eyes. “Washing dishes,” she replied curtly.

He examined her closely, seeing how drenched she really was, “Were you washing them or joining them for a soak in the tub?”

Belle wasn’t sure if that was a real question, or if he was just mocking her abilities. “For your information, I was _washing_ them.” She stood up straight and turned to go collect the utensils to set the table with. “And if you didn’t have a years worth of dirty dishes, then perhaps I wouldn’t be in this condition. Do you just buy a new set every time you eat a meal?” She could ask deriding questions too.

            He didn’t answer her question however, but continued to focus the state she was in. “Why didn’t you change once you were through?”

            Really? He was asking her that? For some reason that question rubbed her the wrong way. Swirling back around on him, she threw her hands up in exasperation. “Because I don’t have any more clothes!” she exclaimed, blowing up at him just a little. It would probably come back on her, but in that moment she didn’t care. “Or didn’t you know that?” It wasn’t like she brought a giant suitcase with her. She just had one little brown bag-where was that by the way? Hopefully it was still where she left it.

            There was a moment of silence between them and Belle stood there trying to calm herself as she continued to stare at Rumple challengingly. To her surprise, he broke eye contact first, looking down at the floor as he held his cane between both hands. He looked _ashamed_. “I’m sorry,” he said, so softly she almost didn’t hear him.

            It caused her to take a step back, not because of fear but astonishment. He _apologized_. What was happening? Before she could think more on it, she noticed his hand move just slightly and suddenly she didn’t feel so cold or bogged down by extra weight.

            Glancing down, she realized why. Magic. He must’ve used magic to dry her. Her dress looked fresh and almost brand new. Reaching up, she ran her hands through her hair, feeling it was dry too.

            She looked over at him slack jawed, unable to believe what just happened and there it was again…that thing glistening in his eyes. That thing she didn’t recognize.

            “Th…thank you,” she stuttered out bringing a small smile to his face.

            He looked so much younger when he smiled, so much handsomer. There was that word again. Gods why did she keep thinking that? Yes, he looked very handsome, but the same couldn’t be said for what was on the inside.            

            Bae came bursting back in the room, causing the two to break eye contact.

            “Mmmm, what did you make Belle?” Bae asked eagerly as he ran over to the table. “It smells delicious.”

            “Chicken, potatoes, and vegetables, I hope that’s alright,” she answered, locking eyes with Rumple again.

            There was a twinkle in his eye and he looked hopeful. Had she done something to make him feel that way? It was just a simple meal. She didn’t know what they liked, so she stuck with something easy. Over time she knew she would learn what were their favorites and what they hated.

            “It’s perfect,” Rumple replied.

            Belle nodded. “I’ll go grab the plates so we can eat before it gets cold.”

            She hurried off to the kitchen to do just that, confused about the little flutters she was feeling in her stomach. Why did he look at her like that? Like…like…oh she didn’t even know how to explain it because she didn’t know what it was. And he dried her clothes. Why was he acting so different? So nice? Like he cared about her well being?

            Not wanting to keep them waiting, she grabbed the plates and utensils and returned to the Main Hall where the three of them had dinner together. It was pleasant and quiet, much more so than breakfast. If it was like this all the time, then Belle knew she wouldn’t have an issue eating with him every night.

            Once finished, Belle collected everybody’s plates and took them back to the kitchen. There she immediately washed them, not wanting the kitchen to get anywhere near the state it had been in before.

            When Belle returned to the Main Hall, she saw Rumple was sitting in his wingback chair next to the fireplace. Baelfire was nowhere to be seen.

            “Please, join me,” Rumple called from the other side of the room without turning to see her. Somehow he could sense she was there.

            Belle hesitated at first, but even though he said please, she assumed it was an order. Meandering over to him, she clenched her hands in her skirts nervously. He looked up at her and smiled softly. “Sit,” he commanded.

            Belle inhaled a shaky breath and glanced around seeing there were no other chairs. Where did he want her to sit? The floor was her only option. Well she didn’t really mind, so she took a seat in front of the fire keeping her distance from Rumplestiltskin.

            “Good evening, madomioselle,” came an all too familiar French accent.

            Belle turned to see Lumiere’s face in the fire and she smiled. She hadn’t spoken to him since Rumplestiltskin’s outburst. “Good evening Lumiere.”

            “I trust you are finding your way around the castle?”

            “Well…I haven’t had a chance to explore yet. Maybe I will soon…” She shot a glance over to Rumplestiltskin wondering if he minded that she was engaging in conversation with Lumiere, but he didn’t seem to care.

            And she couldn’t help but stare once her eyes landed on him. The firelight danced off his features just right making him looked distinguished and even more attractive than he already was. He was deep in thought-she could tell by the way his eyes were scrunched up and how his gaze was engrossed in the fire. There were a few deep wrinkles in his face; he must do this a lot. She wondered again how old he was. He looked to be about in his late forties, but then again it could just be a disguise. The legends of Rumplestiltskin were much older than forty or fifty years.

            “I could give you a tour…” Lumiere continued, taking Belle away from her thoughts of Rumplestiltskin. “I know everything there is to know about the castle.”

            Belle smiled warmly at Lumiere. “That would be lovely.” She wasn’t exactly sure how he was going to give her a tour since he was nothing more than a fire, but she wasn’t going to ask-not now at least.

            “What made you choose what you prepared for dinner?” Rumplestiltskin asked out of nowhere.

            It took Belle aback a little, thinking that was such an odd question. “Um, I just…I didn’t know what you liked, so I chose something easy that I knew most people would eat…” There really wasn’t much more to it than that.

            He nodded looking sad again. “What memories do you have?”

            Another question out of nowhere and it was an abrupt change of subject. She felt a little awkward talking about it and her gaze fell the floor. The question made all her feelings of being lost and alone surface. “None…I mean I remember how to do things like cook…but I don’t know who I am, where I came from, who my friends or family is…anything…”

            “And how did you come to use the name Belle?”

            “I…uh…I heard it and just thought it was nice. I needed to go by something,” she lied. Well it wasn’t a total lie. She just did not want to tell him what really happened. How she woke up in a girl named Belle’s house and escaped before she was caught. Maybe she should have chosen a different name…

            He was deep in thought again, but this time he was staring at her and she was doing well to hold her own under his scrutinizing gaze. Her cheeks were flushing-why were they flushing?

Finally his gaze fell away from her and he turned serious. “Well, if you’re going to stay here my dear, first things first…you will keep no secrets from me.”

            Secrets? He thought she had secrets? How could she have secrets when she didn’t even know who she was?! Oh gods…did he know she didn’t tell him everything about the name? “I don’t have any secrets,” she told him sternly and crossed her arms over her chest. What was the big deal about the name anyway?

            He leaned down toward her and smirked as if he knew she wasn’t telling the truth, that he knew something she didn’t. “Then what’s that in your pocket?”

            Belle cocked an eyebrow at him. What was he talking about? She didn’t have anything in her pocket and even if she did how would he know? Instinctively, Belle reached down just to make sure and gasped when she felt that there was indeed something there. “What’s this? I don’t remember…” she started to say as she slowly pulled a red piece of folded up paper out of her pocket.

            “Give it me,” Rumple demanded and Belle didn’t hesitate to oblige.

            When he reached out to grab the paper from her, as soon as his fingers touched it, sparks shot out causing both of them to release their hold on it. The paper flittered to the floor, opening up as it fell. When it landed Belle could see an odd drawing on it, one that burned itself into the wood within seconds. The paper slowly disintegrated, leaving only a charred picture on the floor and a tiny fume of black smoke that dissipated in the blink of an eye as the mark cooled.  

            Belle leaned over to get a better look. It didn’t resemble anything-just a bunch of circles and lines.

            “Scorch marks, master,” Lumiere said observing from the fireplace. “Can you read them?”

            Rumple nodded and his face was serious. “It’s a form of ancient magic, but I can read it just fine. You should know better than to mess with me. If I can’t have you no one will. You’re heart shall soon belong to me.” He sighed heavily and leaned back a little. “It’s from the Evil Queen.”

            “The Evil Queen? Who is she?” Belle asked wanting to know. More importantly she wanted to know how this Queen put something in her pocket…but like with everything else she couldn’t remember.

            “No one you need to worry about,” Rumple replied. He bent down towards her and for some odd reason Belle thought he was doing it to be closer to her, but then his eyes fell to the floor where the scorch mark was.

            Belle watched as he wiped his hand over the mark making it ignite again.   It flared up with smoke and Belle just assumed it was ruining the floorboard only more, but when he removed his hand it was completely gone. There was no sign it had ever even been there.

            “Wow…it…it’s gone,” Belle noted in awe at watching him perform magic.

            Rumplestiltskin shook his head and sat all the way back in his chair. “The mark may be gone, but the spell is still there.”

            Belle wanted to ask more questions, to know more about it, but Rumple’s next statement told her she wasn’t going to learn anymore tonight.

            “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some things to take care of,” Rumple told her, dismissing her for the night. He looked more forlorn than she had seen him look yet. That message must’ve shaken him more than what met the eye. It was obvious especially when he glanced down at her with a hopeless look on his face, like he was at a lost for what to do. But just as soon as she saw the emotion it was gone, his expression turning stoic as he stood from his chair. “But first, let me show you to your room.”

            Belle’s head shot up in surprise. “My room?” she confirmed, furrowing her brow.

            A playful smirk formed on his face. “You’d prefer to return to the dungeon?”

            “No,” Belle replied without hesitation. She never wanted to see that dungeon again.

            “Then follow me.” To her surprise, he held out his hand to help her up.

            She looked between his hand and him, trying to determine if he would get angry if she denied his assistance. She had done worse that day and he still hadn’t yelled at her, so she didn’t think it would rouse any reaction out of him.

            Choosing to deny his offer, Belle nodded and stood to her feet all on her own, ready to follow him. She was weary about touching him, even though it was just a gentlemanly act. But she just couldn’t push the memory out of her mind at the last time those hands touched her when he grabbed her by the arm and drug her down to the dungeon.

            Contrary to her assumption, however, her action did arouse a reaction from Rumple, but it wasn’t one she suspected. A flash of sadness and hurt crossed Rumple’s face, before he looked at the floor deep in thought again. His hand lingered in the air briefly, until he placed it a top his other hand on his cane. It momentarily made Belle fell guilty. Maybe she should have just taken his assistance.

Rumple didn’t turn around to leave immediately. Instead he spoke, but it wasn’t to her. “Lumiere, move the castle sixty miles to the west and have some hot water prepared before I return from showing Belle to her room.”

            “Yes, master. It shall be done,” Lumiere replied obediently.

            Rumple gave Lumiere a curt nod before turning and beckoning Belle to follow him.

 


	15. Chapter 15

Belle followed close behind Rumple as he led her up the stairs and through the dark hallways to parts of the castle she hadn’t seen before. She had only been on the main floor…and the dungeon, but she refused to think about that place again.

On the second floor they walked through a large hallway that she observed eagerly. The first thing she noticed was that it was not as cluttered as all the rooms downstairs, but there were several inches of dust and numerous spider webs everywhere. This part of the castle looked much different than the outside. It actually had the feel of what she pictured when she thought of a castle. There were stone pillars evenly placed throughout the hallway and flying buttresses lining the ceiling. Large tapestries hung in between them, some with intricate designs that resembled nothing in particular and others with animals. There was one very gorgeous one with a horse standing in a round stall. It was all stunning, but a little intimidating. She unconsciously found herself trying to move closer to Rumple. Even walking with a cane he somehow seemed able to hold a fast and steady pace, one she had to work to keep up with.

Perhaps if there was more light she could feel more comfortable, not frightened. She knew there probably wasn’t anything to be afraid of, anything besides Rumplestiltskin, but the castle did give off that eerie feeling.   “Why do you keep it so dark in here?” she found herself asking him.

Rumple briefly glanced back at her, but returned his gaze forward. “It’s called the Dark Castle. What kind of image would I be upholding if the place was bright and cheery?”

Belle thought about his answer. It seemed like he was trying to dodge giving her the real answer. “Well you could always change the name to the Light Castle…” she suggested in a slightly playful manner. She didn’t know what caused her to do that.

Rumple burst out into boisterous laughter. “Yes…I suppose I _could_ …” he said once he calmed. Belle knew form his tone, though, that he had no such intentions. Was it really that funny?   
            “Why not?”

Rumple stopped in his tracks and turned to face her, causing her to collide into him. She gasped and stepped back, but he did not flinch at all, just stared down at her curiously. “It’s called the Dark Castle and it will remain dark because that’s how I like it.”

Belle huffed and glared up at him. “Well, if I am going to work in this castle without tripping over one of your _many_ things and breaking something…I’m going to need more light!” Honestly, did he really expect her to work in such dim light? She had adjusted to it somewhat, but it still was not enough for one to safely get around. And in this hallway, there didn’t seem to be any windows. She didn’t know what it would be like in any of the rooms.

Rumple stood there for a second cocking his eyebrow at her as if he was trying to figure her out. Finally he turned around and continued on. “I’ll see to it that you have more light when and where you are working so that you can avoid any mishaps. Otherwise, the castle remains dark.”

Belle was unsure whether she should thank him or continue to prod him about his insistence of keeping the place so gloomy. It was probably better she remain quiet and revel in her small victory. Perhaps over time things would change. Maybe if she just showed him…

“Here we are,” Rumple said as he came to stop at one of the many doors on the floor. Huge doors actually. They looked two stories tall and were outlined in gold paint. Reaching out he opened one of the doors, but did not step inside. “I hope you find it to your liking. You should find everything thing you need, but if not, Lumiere will assist you.” He pointed over toward the left side of the room. “There’s a bathroom through that door. I’ll have some of the hot water sent up so you may bathe…a _proper_ bath,” he added, looking at her sternly as if she had chosen to be in the state she was in after washing all those dishes.

There was an awkward moment of silence between them and Belle wasn’t sure what to do next. From watching Rumple, it looked like he wanted to say something else, but she had no idea what it was. He appeared nervous-very nervous-and he wouldn’t look at her directly. She even thought she caught a glimpse of his eyes lingering on her lips. If she didn’t know any better, she would have thought he was a schoolboy with a crush trying to ask a girl out, but that would be ridiculous.

“Well, goodnight, Belle,” he finally said, his eyes coming to meet hers again and any sense of what she just witnessed gone. He was once again the calm, collected wizard that showed no emotion.

“Goodnight, Rumplestiltskin,” Belle replied, moving past him to step into the room.

She could still feel him lingering in the doorway behind her and it was making her nervous. Turning back around to face him, she added, “I’ll have breakfast ready first thing in the morning.”

Rumplestiltskin nodded. “The earlier, the better.” And with that he was gone, the tapping sound of his cane slowly fading away as he walked down the hallway.

Belle shut the door behind her when she was sure he was gone, turned around, leaned back against it, and released a very relieved sigh. She took a moment to just stand there and let her eyes close to relax and pull herself back together after a long day-a long couple of days.

She found herself unwilling thinking about Rumplestiltskin. He was so…odd. She did not understand him at all. She continued to believe the dark side in him might show again, but it never did. Then again it had only been one day. But he had also promised it wouldn’t again. And even though it had been one day, for some reason she felt like she could believe him. It was just a feeling she had, she couldn’t explain it; the more she thought on it, the more it started to make her head hurt.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed it from her mind and opened her eyes allowing herself to have the first look at her new room. What she saw made her gasp. The room-it was elegant, grand, but most importantly: _clean_. It was actually clean, so clean that it almost sparkled as if everything was brand new. There was no sign of dust or clutter anywhere.

Over on the right side of the room was a large white and gold canopy bed with a matching comforter and several pillows. There was even a window next to it. There were curtains covering it, but she knew she could pull them back. If this was really her room, she was going to keep it as bright as possible.

Belle walked over to the bed and ran her hand along one of the four posters. It was very detailed, with rose vines carved up the sides that trailed upwards and connected with the canopy. White sheer curtains hung down from all four corners. On either side of the bed were matching nightstands and across the room she could see a large wardrobe that matched as well.

As Belle walked over to examine it, she passed the fireplace which already had a nice fire going. It was directly in the middle of the room and had a cozy looking loveseat sitting in front of it. Belle wondered why Rumple had put that there. Did he plan on giving her free time? Or was it just for looks? Her bag, the one she had brought with her, was sitting on it. Rumple must have brought it up there. She thought about unpacking it, but decided against it because she was rather tired.

Leaving it be for now, she stepped over to the wardrobe and looked up at it. It was massive and towered over her. What would she ever use this for? It wasn’t like she had any clothes to fill it with…she gasped again in awe cutting off her own thoughts as she opened the doors. There hanging right in front of her were several dresses, a lot of dresses actually, a beautiful, assortment of them: everyday dresses to ones she could clean in and even a couple ball gowns. What did he expect her to do with those? She was not going to attending any balls. She certainly couldn’t clean with them. Maybe they weren’t for her… Then again, as she glanced through them, they all looked to be just her size.

Opening up the drawers underneath, she found any other clothing she might need, stockings, nightgowns, and undergarments. A large blush crept up on her face. Yes, undergarments were necessary, but the thought of Rumplestiltskin buying them for her-well it was very intimate, too intimate.

Quickly she shut the drawer, not ready to see what he had actually picked out. The only way she was going to be able to look back in there was to convince herself someone else bought them for Rumple. But it couldn’t be Baelfire…

She shook her head and tried to distract herself. Looking around, she noticed the bathroom door so she decided to explore it next. When she walked inside, she was once again taken aback.

It had everything one could imagine one would need for a bathroom. There was a large claw bathtub in one corner, so big it could fit more than one person easily. There was steam rising up from it as well; the hot water. Rumplestiltskin must have used magic to send it up. That made more sense than any of the scenarios she had imagined. It looked so inviting too and so did the bed.

She was incredibly exhausted; it would probably be best to explore more later on. Now all she wanted to do was take a nice warm bath. As she stripped down and climbed into the warm water, she couldn’t help but wonder why Rumplestiltskin had done all of this, why he had given her so much. Even for the bath, she had numerous choices on what kind of soaps and shampoos to use. There were bath salts and fragrances. Everything was so lavish and looked expensive.

Was this his way of saying he was sorry? Or was he expecting something from her in return? She pushed her mind away from dark thoughts. She was going to give him the benefit in all this. If it was an apology, then it would be a good start to making up for what he had done. Hopefully, it wouldn’t turn out to be a cruel joke. She would never forgive him if he gave her all this just to have him take it away the next day.

After a wonderful and relaxing bath, one that almost made her worries melt away, Belle put on one of the nightgowns, finding that it did indeed fit perfectly. How did he know her size? It had to be magic. That could also explain the undergarments too. Thinking he used magic to procure them made her feel more comfortable with the situation.

There was an extravagant vanity in the bathroom with a large mirror and anything Belle could possible need for her hair or hygiene. There she sat down, brushed her hair, and braided it into a single braid, tying it back with a blue silk ribbon. She tried not to gaze at her reflection in the mirror, not wanting to look at such an ugly face that was so unfamiliar to her.

Once finished, she had almost no energy left to stay awake, so she made her way over to the bed and climbed into it. Immediately she relished in how cozy it was. She couldn’t imagine a more comfortable bed; it was so soft and warm. The room itself was the perfect temperature. If she were there under any other circumstances she would say that everything was perfect. She sighed contently as she relaxed and let her head sink down into the pillow. It didn’t take long for her to begin to drift off and as she did she couldn’t help but let Rumplestiltskin and his gesture linger in her mind.

 


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning, Belle awoke early feeling more refreshed than she had expected. The bed had been extremely comfortable and she had managed to get some good rest, unlike the night before on that concrete slab in the dungeon. Her muscles were still a bit sore from all the hard work and she knew that they would be like that for a while, at least until she got used to working so hard. But the room Rumple had gifted her with at least made up for it in a way.

The first thing she did when she woke was pull the curtains back to let the sunlight in. It was refreshing when the early morning sun hit her face and she took a moment to close her eyes and take it in, basking in the warmth that was radiating through the windows.

The windows themselves were huge and lit the room extremely well. When she opened her eyes to glance outside, she wasn’t sure what she would see since the only other window she had looked out of was the one next to the magic door. The view from that one changed based on where the door led. When it led to Avonlea she could see the sea, but when it went to Storybrooke all she could see was the inside of the pawnshop.

She wondered if all the windows did that and when she leaned forward to look she had her answer: no. But her mouth did fall open in awe at the view. She could actually see parts of the outside of the castle: the bricks, gears, and turrets.  

“Incredible!” she said aloud, gawking.

For all the eye could see beyond the castle were clusters of mountains that were changing as the castle moved along. She knew she was looking at the actual position of the castle as it traveled the land, not one of the locations the door led to.

There didn’t seem to be another person or building in sight, just trees and grass. That combined with the bright blue sky and puffy white clouds made the day almost perfect. She wished more than anything she could just go outside and enjoy it, but she highly doubted Rumplestiltskin would let her do something like that. He’d probably fear she’d run away, but honestly she wouldn’t try that in a place like this. There would be nowhere for her to go; there was no telling how far away from a village they were.

After enjoying the view for a little while longer, Belle went over to the wardrobe to pick out an outfit. She decided on the pink dress, which had a sweetheart neckline and fell down to her calves. It was made of the loveliest velvet and she almost felt bad about wearing it to clean in; it would be filthy by the end of the day, but everything else in the wardrobe was just as nice or nicer. They were out of the question. The other dresses would either be too bulky and make it hard for her to move or they were much more elegant, made of materials that had her questioning how much money they had really cost.

Since everything was so luxurious, she almost wondered if she should wear _any_ of them or if they were even for her. Well, she would find out at breakfast when she saw Rumplestiltskin again. He would certainly have something to say if she was wearing this dress without permission.

Dressed and ready, Belle made her way back downstairs, the same way Rumple had showed her the night before, toward the kitchen to cook breakfast.

Surprisingly, when she stepped out into the dark hallway it instantly brightened as if she had just flipped on a light even though she didn’t. It made her pause just briefly because it was unexpected and she looked around, noticing she could now see so much better. It still wasn’t as much light as she would have liked, but at least she could see everything that was around her. Apparently, Rumple had followed through with his promise.

But she hadn’t planned to clean the hallway-not that day at least. So perhaps all the rooms would be lit. Yet, when she stepped further out into the corridor she glanced down in the other direction. All she could see was darkness, in both directions actually. Maybe he hadn’t provided her with more light sources and it was just coincidence this part of the hallway was illuminated. But she couldn’t see a source for the light, no candles or lanterns.

She shrugged it off and started to stride toward the stairs, but was taken aback as the light began to follow her, keeping several paces ahead of her as she walked. That was unexpected. Deciding to test it, she took several steps backwards. The light followed suit. She moved closed to the wall, dodging one of the suits of armor, so did the light. It was like the light was alive and would go anywhere she went, the brightest areas being the ones closest to her. Interesting. When he claimed he would give her more light to work by, this was not what she had had in mind. It was an improvement though, but it would take some getting used to.

During breakfast, Rumplestiltskin was just as pleasant as he had been the day before. And as handsome, dressed in yet another black suit with a dark pink tie and vest this time. If she didn’t know any better, she would say he was trying to match her dress, but she took it as coincidence. How would he have known what outfit she was going to pick out?

When she tried to thank him for the dress-for all the dresses and everything in the room-he just brushed it off acting as if he didn’t want the gratitude and even making up a story about having a maid that is properly taken care of only so his castle was as well. For some reason she knew there was more to it than that-as if he might care about her. But why would he care about her? They had only known each other a couple of days and then there was the way he acted on their first day meeting… What she was mistaking as care had to really just be shame and remorse. He was just trying to make it up to her, but didn’t want to admit it; that was all.

“I have some business to attend to today,” Rumplestiltskin announced while Belle was collecting the dishes after breakfast. She wasn’t sure if he was addressing her or Bae, but she nodded her head anyway.

“I’ll be home much earlier than usual,” he continued, “and I will not be going out again for quite some time.” During his last statement he flashed Bae a stern look and Belle could only wonder if what he said had to do with their conversation she had overheard the night before.

“But what about your shop Papa?” Bae asked, concerned.

“The shop will be just fine without me for a while,” Rumple answered confidently as he focused on fastening the cufflinks together on his sleeves before slipping his jacket on and picking up his cane. “Anyone desperate enough to make a deal will find a way to reach me.”

Deals. Belle remembered he was known for his deals-one of the only things she could remember. It was odd how she could remember details about a famous wizard, yet nothing else.

Once Rumple was gone, Belle set to work in the kitchen again, cleaning the cabinets and organizing all the dishes she had washed the day before. It took her the entire day to finish and by the end of it she was exhausted. However, she did feel really accomplished. One room down…who knew how many to go?

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            The following day was spent exploring the castle, trying to get her bearings down and see what she was in for. There were so many rooms, all filled with stuff: furniture, knick-knacks, figurines, glassware, papers, books. Rumplestiltskin was a collector…of everything. This was not going to be an easy job. Although Belle felt she could work pretty fast, the state of almost every room was horrendous; it was probably going to take her months to get everything up to par.

            When she found Baelfire’s bedroom, which was only a few doors down from hers, she wasn’t surprised at all to find it was in just as bad a state as the rest of the castle; she anticipated it, actually. Toys, dirty dishes, and clothes were piled everywhere. The boy hadn’t cleaned a day in his life. But neither had the father, so it was no wonder why. Nobody was there to teach him or ensure he would do it.

            Rumplestiltskin’s bedroom was on the third floor, but Belle decided it was best to avoid it. The mess, she knew for a fact she would find, was not what shied her away from it, but she felt if she entered it she would be intruding on his privacy or crossing over a boundary. Yes, he had told her she could clean any room, but he had been respectful toward her and refused to step foot in her room; she would do the same for him.    

Over the next few days, Rumplestiltskin remained true to his word and was home all day. However, she didn't see any more of him like she would have thought, only at meals and occasionally in the evening. If he hadn't told her he was home, she probably never would have known it. She was very thankful for it. The last thing she wanted to do was spend more time with him.

She discovered Rumple was spending most of his time in a laboratory at the top of one of the castle turrets, but he suggested it was best she steered clear of that room. Her curiosity was peaked once he told her that and she could only wonder what he was doing up there. Though, she wasn't going to chance his temper by trying to find out.  

One difference she did notice about Rumplestiltskin being home more, however, were his clothes. Now that he wasn't leaving the castle he dressed _entirely_ different. He was still as clean and polished as ever, his clothes looking as if they were brand new-no wrinkle, spot, or lint to be found, his hair showing no sign that it had ever had a tangle in his life. And he new clothes were interesting to say the least.

Gone were the days of the fancy business suits; now he wore the most intricate, detailed, _and expensive_ clothes-not that the business suits weren't expensive. He always had on a brightly colored silk shirt of some sort, usually a shade of yellow or red, with billowing sleeves that cinched at the wrist, and a vest to accompany it. The vests were made of velvets, leather, silks, satins, and some other material that Belle swore looked like dragonhide. But that was ridiculous; dragons hadn’t existed for hundreds of years. The vests also had high neck collars, that came up to Rumple’s ears, but somehow he still managed to keep every piece of his shoulder length hair in place.

It was such a different look, one she didn’t think anyone else could ever pull off, and she couldn’t deny that it suited him, that she even kind of liked it. But what she liked the most about his new attire were the black leather pants with the knee-high leather boots to match. The first time she saw him in them she nearly fainted. Her face turned bright red, her palms became sweaty, and her heart began to beat faster. She even had to make up a story and excuse herself after he inquired about what was wrong.    

She hated that she was attracted to him-she had finally admitted it to herself-but she couldn’t help it. Rumplestiltskin was a very good-looking man and the way he dressed and was always so well put together only added to it. But that wasn’t the only thing that attracted her to him. With exception of that first night-he had been so gentle with her, treated her with such kindness, she almost had couldn’t believe that the man she met on the first night was really the same person. Yet, even though she admitted her attraction, she wasn’t going to let anything come of it. Every day she still feared she would do something that would bring out that beastly side in him. If that was his true self, then she wasn’t going to have anything to do with him.

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The Main Hall was the next room on Belle’s list to clean and it took her so much longer than the kitchen-almost a week. There was so much clutter, so much dust. Sweeping the floor felt moot. The dust would be cleared in one section, only to settle in another. She had to keep a cloth tied over her face to even attempt to sweep, otherwise she could not stop coughing and sneezing. She feared getting sick as well-unsure of how Rumplestiltskin would react to her having to spend a day in bed to heal.   
            As she tried for the tenth time to collect all the dirt on the floor in a pile, she grew so upset that she began sweeping hysterically. It was accomplishing nothing and actually making the situation worse. Dust flew up all around her, engulfing her in a cloud and causing her to lose sight of what she was trying to do. Finally she shrieked loudly out in frustration, throwing the broom down on the floor and stomping out of the room. “I’ve have enough of this!” she screamed, slamming the door behind her.

When she returned, she brought a large bucket of water with her and immediately dumped it all over the floor, not caring if it ruined anything or not. Her goal was to get up all the dust and dirt and this was the only way she knew how. Frantically she started scrubbing the floor and scrubbed it for hours until it sparkled brightly even in the dim light.

            A clean floor was a major accomplishment, but the room was still far from being tidy. Plenty of things needed to be put away or organized and the fireplace was filthy. It was filled to the brim with ash and soot; it was hard to believe Lumiere was still burning so brightly.

“Pardon me, Madimoiselle, but might I inquire as to what you are doing?” Lumiere asked Belle, as she sat on her knees in front of him with all the tools she needed to clean the hearth.

Belle smiled warmly at him. “Something your master should have done a long time ago.”

Taking the log tongs, she used them to reach in and seize the piece of wood that was currently aflame with Lumiere and place it in the metal bucket next to her.

Lumiere’s eyes widened with fright and he began to protest her action. “Belle, you can’t do this! I require firewood or I’ll disappear!”

Belle continued to smile, seemingly not worried at all. “Don’t worry. I’m just going to clean away these ashes. I’ll be quick.”

She hastily began to sweep up the mountain of ashes into a dust pan, careful to prevent the soot from flying up into the air and in her nose.

“Belle!” Lumiere protested again, his voice jittery from panic. “Please, you don’t understand the repercussions your actions may cause!”

Belle still didn’t stop, however, and just continued with what she was doing. She dumped the one dustpan of ashes into another bucket and leaned back in to collect another.

“Belle! Help!” Lumiere’s log seemed to be burning at a faster rate now, shrinking second by second. “Hurry, please, BELLE!”

Just then, Rumplestiltskin walked in the room and heard Lumiere’s cries for help. Immediately he went over to Belle, knelt down next to her, and stopped what she was doing, just as she was about to finish.

“Hey!” Belle objected, agitated he had interrupted her.

Rumplestiltskin did not react to her little outburst, but instead briskly took Lumiere’s log and placed it back in the fireplace along with a few new ones.

Lumiere instantly flared up, feeling relief that he was back where he belonged.

Rumplestiltskin stood and turned to face Belle. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t torment my servant.”

Belle, still on her knees and looking up at him, stood to her feet as well, not wanting to feel inferior. Even under normal circumstances, that wasn’t easy. She was already a couple of inches shorter than him and he did go out of his way to seem intimidating.  

She glared up at him, her fists clenched at her sides and her mouth in a thin flat line. “Well I’d appreciate it if you’d let me do my job! You delegated this duty to me! If I’m not cleaning the fireplace to your standards then you should have done it yourself!”

“My standards? I think my standards are pretty clear. One which includes not letting my servant’s flame go out because you insist on cleaning like a mad woman.”

Belle growled and stomped her foot. “I wasn’t going to let him go out!” she denied. “I was almost finished and ready to put the log back in when you so rudely came in and took over!”

Rumplestiltskin cocked an eyebrow at her and watched her carefully, remaining perfectly still with his hands folded behind his back and a face that reflected no emotion whatsoever. “Mouthy, mouthy. Just ensure it doesn’t happen again,” he demanded of her in a stern voice, “or I might not be so generous next time.” And with that he turned and walked out leaving a steaming Belle behind.

“Oh he makes me so angry,” she said to Lumiere once Rumple was out of sight. How dare he threaten her! It was an empty threat, she was certain, but the part of her that still feared that she would release the beast was a little frightened.

“Yes, the master can be quite infuriating at times,” Lumiere agreed, “but once you’ve gotten to know him you’ll see he’s not as bad as he appears. Even you have seen the good in him.”

“But I’ve also seen the worst in him.” Belle bent down and began to pick up the tools and the bucket of ash so she could dispose of it. “Tell me, Lumiere. While I was cleaning was it not possible for you to leave here and visit another fire burning in the castle just in case this fire went out? I’ve seen you do it before.” Whenever he disappeared from the Main Hall fireplace, she learned he had traveled to another part of the castle. She also found she could summon him whenever she needed something and he would appear to her in her bedroom hearth.

“Oui, but this fire is the heart of the castle. It must always remain conflagrant, otherwise the consequences would be dire.”

Belle nodded in understanding. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s quite alright, ma chere. But perhaps next time you could ask before you try to kill me?”

Belle couldn’t help a small chuckle when he said that, knowing he was being honest, yet he was teasing her too. “Yes, I shall remember to do that.”

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Once the Main Hall was in order and there wasn’t a speck of dust to be found, Belle moved onto the rest of the castle, focusing on one room at a time. Each day became more frustrating than the last. No matter how fast she worked, no matter how beautiful she made one room, it never seemed like she was getting anywhere. Around every corner, up every stair was dust dust dust, spider web after spider web. It was never ending. She kept telling herself she had all the time in the world, but that only helped appease her so much.

Sometimes she felt she was being watched as she cleaned-she was sure of it-but every time she looked or investigated there was never anyone there. It had to just be the castle making her paranoid. The darkness was really starting to get to her and the gargoyle statues in the hallways did not help. It was weird, though, because she never felt that way while she was in her bedroom.

The day she decided to tackle Bae’s room turned out to be an eventful day that Belle had not anticipated. The trio had just finished breakfast and Rumplestiltskin retreated to his laboratory as usual, leaving Belle and Bae to fend for themselves.

Belle gave Bae a mischievous smile from across the table as he helped her clear the dishes. “I plan to clean your room today,” she told him like it was no big deal, “And I expect you to help me.”

Bae froze in his tracks and almost dropped the plate in his hand. “What, why?!” he squealed, not having expected her to ever say that.

“Why? Because it’s filthy that’s why. And it’s been put off long enough.” Belle picked up the pile of dirty dishes and began walking toward the doorway.

Bae’s eyes widened and he suddenly began sprinting toward her and cutting her off in her path. He held his hands out to block her way and shook his head. “No! No! No! You can’t clean my room!”

Belle’s grin only grew wider, her expression reflecting the satisfaction she was getting from Bae’s reaction. She leaned forward toward him, clutching the dishes to her chest. “Whatever you don’t want me to clean you better hide it now!”

Bae tensed up and grit his teeth, his eyebrows creasing in worry. Instead of arguing, like Belle had assumed, Bae turned on his heels and fled up the stairs as fast as possible without another word.

Belle just chuckled and shook her head as she watched him go. She would give him ample time to do as she requested, taking all the dishes to the kitchen, cleaning them, and putting them away.

Grabbing the broom and dust cloth, Belle made her way up to Bae’s room bracing herself for what she would find. She had seen it once before, but there was no telling what the boy had done to it since then.   
            Slowly she eased the door open, peeking inside and finding him stuffing things into the closet as fast as he possible could. The closet was overflowing and it was clear nothing else would fit, nor would the door be able to close. Yet, Bae was giving it his best efforts, shoving against the door with all his body weight, trying to get it to shut.

Pushing the bedroom door all the way open, Belle stood there looking at Bae with her hands on her hips and a chiding look on her face. “I told you to hide what you didn’t want cleaned,” she said to grab his attention. “Did you really think I wasn’t going to make you clean out your closet?”

Momentarily abandoning his efforts, Bae’s face turned a light shade of red. “I…uh…” he stuttered and smiled at her bashfully. “Yes?”

Belle sighed and shook her head as she entered the room and set down the cleaning supplies. “Well, I guess we’ll just have start there then won’t we?”

“Belle, no!” Bae exclaimed, trying to guard her from getting in his closet.

Belle offered him an assuring smile. “Don’t worry. I won’t force you to get rid of something important to you. We’re only going to organize it-make a place for everything.”

Eventually, Bae reluctantly gave in, knowing she was going to do it whether he wanted her to or not. So the two of them set to work getting the room in order.

Once all the toys, books, papers, and knick knacks had been either put away or set aside to be disposed of, they collected the dirty clothes and put them out in the hallway to be sent down to get wash. There was literally a mountain of them, taller than Belle herself. Almost every article of clothing the boy owned was soiled. But nothing surprised Belle anymore, not after what she had found in all the other rooms she had already cleaned.

Sweeping and mopping the floor was the last thing the room needed. But first the very large rug in the center of the room, something that she never would have known was there, needed to be taken outside and beaten.

Yet, Belle wasn’t allowed outside. So as an alternative she had Bae help her carry it to one of the other bedrooms in the castle that had a balcony. There they could hang it over the railing and shake off all the dirt.

She had known there were balconies in some of the rooms, but she had never dared to step foot out on one. Rumplestiltskin had never specifically forbid her from doing so, but she knew he didn’t want her outside. Technically, stepping out on one was going outside, even though she couldn’t leave the castle.

However, Bae suggested it-he knew what his father’s wishes were-so she suspected it would be acceptable. If not, she had enough legitimate reasons to support her decision.

The moment the door swung open, Belle was immediately hit with warm fresh air, causing her to close her eyes and just take it all in. It had been so long since she had felt the sensation of a spring breeze blow across her face, wafting all the sweet aromas from the blooming flowers and trees into her nose.

The rug forgotten, she set it down on the floor and ran to the railing to look out at the surroundings as the castle moved along at a steady pace. Belle had seen the mountainside from the window of her bedroom, but it was so much different actually standing out and looking on without a strip of glass between her and it.

Off in the distance she could see a shining blue lake. She sighed contently as she stared out at it dreamily wishing she could take a dip in it.

Bae came up to stand beside her and noticed she was staring out at the lake longingly. “It’s called star lake,” he told her.

“It’s beautiful,” Belle said, admiring it. Just looking out at it made her briefly forget all her worries. Forget that she was prisoner in Rumple’s castle, forget that she had no memory of her past. Gods, why couldn’t Rumple just let her go outside to truly enjoy the bliss? She longed to feel the grass beneath her feet. She truly wouldn’t try to flee if he gave her that one little freedom, but she knew he would never believe her.

“Belle!” Bae suddenly exclaimed from the other side of the balcony where he had wandered.

Belle came out of her daydream and rushed over to him, thinking something was wrong. “Bae, what is it?” she asked, seeing there was nothing visibly wrong with him.

“Look, something’s stuck in that hole.” Bae pointed right below them where one of the castle’s mechanisms was. And just as Bae pointed out, there was indeed something stuck in it, although it wasn’t affecting the castle as it moved. Belle squinted her eyes together as she saw it was a large stick sticking straight up toward them and she had a sneaking suspicion she had seen that particular stick one time before. She was also pretty sure she could reach it and pull it out.

“Bae, give me a hand,” she directed. Slipping off her shoes, she stepped on the bottom of the railing and leaned over it, reaching out for the branch. Her fingertips barely brushed the bottom of it; she was so close to grabbing it-just a few more centimeters and she would have it…

There! She had it! Her face lit up with delight as her fingers gripped the end of the stick tightly. Now all she had to do was free it. With a light tug it barely budged. So she tugged a little bit harder and it moved slightly. Knowing she was getting somewhere, Belle gave it one final giant jerk and smiled in triumph as it rapidly came loose and flew out of her hand.

            But her smile didn’t last long, because as she tried to pull herself back up her foot caught one of the rails and everything felt like it moved in slow motion as she lost her balance and went tumbling toward the ground, Bae screaming as he unsuccessfully tried to grab for her.


	17. Chapter 17

            Falling. Falling. Belle could feel herself falling and suddenly her life flashed before her eyes. Except it didn’t. Not really. All there was were memories of the past few weeks in the Dark Castle. The only faces that flashed in her mind were Bae’s, Lumiere’s, and surprisingly Rumplestiltskin’s. If there was any moment that she wished for her memory to return, it was now more than ever. Death was only a few seconds away and she couldn’t even remember her loved ones. Perhaps it was better this way, she thought as she shut her eyes waiting for the fatal impact.

            Suddenly, she felt something, something she hadn’t expected. Out of nowhere a pair of strong arms took her around her waist, heaving her back upwards and onto the balcony, keeping a firm grip on her while helping her get steady on her feet. But once she was upright, they did not let go.

            It had all happened so fast that briefly she had not even realized she had been rescued. It wasn’t until the strong scent of straw and acrid smell of magic filled her nose that it slowly began to sink in. Easing her eyes open, she was not prepared for yet another surprise, which caused a loud gasp to erupt from her. There right in front of her was Rumplestiltskin, looking at her more worried than ever. “Belle!” he exclaimed with a trembling voice as if he did not believe she was standing right in front of him, flush against him, and cradled in his arms.

            But Belle didn’t say anything in return, nor did she try to pull away like she would have predicted. Instead, she stood still staring deeply up into those dark brown eyes that were only a few centimeters away from hers. She had never seen them this close before-except for the time he was more demon than man. His eyes then were much different, more reptilian. Now they were the deepest shade of brown, speckled with flecks of gold and they were mesmerizing. There was something in them too, as they looked down at her, some foreign emotion that she had seen there a few times before, something besides concern. What was it? She had tried so hard to figure it out, but couldn’t.

            Briefly, she saw his eyes flicker downwards to her lips, then back up again, before she felt a hand come up to gently touch her cheek. Still, she did not pull away or even flinch. She just continued to keep her eyes on his.

It appeared his face was now getting closer to hers. Was she imagining it or was he going to kiss her? Oh gods…her heart began to feel like it was going to pound out of her chest. Did she want him to kiss her? No-that was ridiculous, wasn’t it?

            That’s what she kept trying to tell herself, but her body was saying the opposite. Slowly, her eyelids fluttered shut and she let her lips pucker up ever so slightly. Then she waited-waited for their lips to meet.

            Suddenly a noise from the side startled her, causing her to come out of her stupor, and turn her head to see what it was. She let out a deep sigh, but smiled nonetheless when she saw what it was. There, hopping atop one of the dormer windows was the Mad Hatter. She knew she had recognized the bottom of that stick. Somehow the thing seemed to constantly get stuck in places. _And_ she had almost fallen to her death to pull him free. Even though his facial expression couldn’t change, she could tell he was apologetic.

Apparently he was also fond of following her and she turned to say something to Rumplestiltskin about it, but she found he was still staring at her as if she wasn’t real. It made a blush creep up on her cheeks, especially since he still had a firm grip on her and wasn’t appearing to let go of her any time soon.  

Belle didn’t know if Rumple noticed the Hatter or not; he didn’t make any indication he did, nor did he even give the scarecrow so much as a glance. All of his focus was completely on her.

It was beginning to feel a bit awkward now, her standing there in his arms in total silence. She couldn’t hold his gaze any longer, but when she looked away all she could see was the exposed skin of his chest that made her blush darker.

The shirt he was wearing was cut very low, giving her a good view of the slightly tanned skin and the small amount of chest hair. Normally he wore a cravat, which covered it up, but apparently he had decided to forgo it today.

Her heart was beginning to pound again and her blood was starting to feel like it was going to boil; she had to do something. Forcing herself to meet his eyes again, she gave him a sweet, yet bashful smile. “Th…thank you, for saving my life,” she said softly, finally breaking the silence between them.

Rumplestiltskin didn’t immediately reply, instead choosing to continue to stare at her as if it hadn’t happen-as if he couldn’t believe he had saved her. But out of nowhere, the incredible amount of concern she saw in his eyes melted away, being replaced by anger. He shoved away from her in a manner that made it seem like he had to force himself to do it, like he didn’t want to be away from her. With a scowl he replied, “Well if you wouldn’t pretend you could fly I wouldn’t have to!”

Belle looked at him wide-eyed and slack jawed. “Fly? I wasn’t pretending I could fly! I was trying to free that scarecrow jammed in the gears of your castle!”

He took a step towards her holding his hands out in front of him palms up. “And you thought the best way to do that was to put yourself in danger?” There was that worried tone in his voice again…and expression on his face. Belle had a sudden realization: he was trying to be angry…well, he was angry, but only because he didn’t want her to get hurt.

“You could have come to me,” he continued. “If I hadn’t been here you would have…” He paused, realizing what he had been saying. Clearing his throat he stood up straight and crossed his hands behind his back. His face turned completely stoic-now showing absolutely no emotion at all. “Perhaps it’s best you steer clear of the balconies, restrict yourself to the castle.”

Belle was the one to worry now. “What?! No?! Please!”

“Papa!” Bae objected out of nowhere, clearly on Belle’s side. Up until now, he had been quietly watching the scene play out before him-curious about what was going on between Belle and his father.

Rumple just ignored him, staying strong to his word.

Belle began to beg with him, taking a few steps toward him as he started to grab his cane and walk away. “Please don’t take this away from me! I hate being confined to the castle-never allowed to leave-to go outside.” A few tears formed in the corners of her eyes, but she knew he couldn’t see them because he now had his back to her. She was sure, however, that he knew they were there because her voice was beginning to give her away. “I’ll be more careful next time. Please…this is one of the only freedoms I have left…the closest thing I have to the outside world… _please_ , _Rumplestiltskin_.” She reached out and grabbed a hold of his hand as she said those last two words.

Rumplestiltskin’s head turned to the side to look at her hand as it sat atop of his, while Bae returned to watching them curiously and quietly like he had been since Rumple had appeared out of no where to rescue Belle.

There was a moment of awkward silence, but then Rumplestiltskin slowly turned around to face Belle once more. His expression had softened and was slightly remorseful. “Very well,” he started, pulling his hand from her grip so that he could point at her in a scolding manner as he spoke, “Best not let me find you out here trying something like this again.”

“You won’t,” she swore, the smile returning to her face.

He continued, his tone and mannerisms turning a bit playful. “And the only way you’re going to fly is if you’re flying with me…..”   His voice trailed off by the end of the sentence and his brows furrowed, but then rose as his face lit up with realization.

Belle tilted her head to the side as she looked at him inquisitively. Fly? What was he going on about? There was no time for her to think about it though, as Rumplestiltskin suddenly handed his cane over to Bae and took her by the waist, pulling her flush against him as he grinned ear to ear.

Thrown off guard once more, Belle let out a little “oomph” as their bodies collided together. What the hell was he doing? Did he really think it was okay to touch her freely like this? Before it made sense because he had been preventing her from falling. And yes…she had thought he was going to kiss her and she herself had had a momentarily lapse when she was going to let it happen. She didn’t know what had come over her, but she assumed it was the elation surrounding the events of him rescuing her, combined with her undenying attraction to him. But now she was thinking straight again and she was not comfortable enough with him to allow him to be this close. She tried to wiggle free from his grasp, but he was much stronger than her and would not let go.

Bae looked at the cane in his hands and then at his father questionably. “Papa? What are you doing?”

“Bae, inform Lumiere that Belle and I will be out for a bit. Have him slow the castle to a stop until we return,” Rumplestiltskin instructed, turning to look at Belle with a large optimistic smile on his face. Bae nodded and ran off to do as asked.

Belle looked up at Rumplestiltskin wide-eyed and hopeful. Had she just heard him right? Was he going to take her out of the castle? All of sudden, the fact his arm-now arms-were around her didn’t matter anymore. “Where are we going?” she asked, her eyes locking with his as she examined him carefully. Anything that was going on around them didn’t matter to her in that moment. All that was important was the thought that she would get a break from this prison and that hopefully this wasn’t some cruel trick of his.

“Just out for a _stroll_ ,” he replied, putting a lot of emphasis on ‘stroll.’ “One that I believe you’ll enjoy very much.”

Belle’s face brightened. He was telling the truth. Oh gods…she could almost hug him. Maybe she would…yes…she would. Throwing her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer for a tight embrace. “Thank you,” she said, her voice giving away how appreciative she was and revealing how much she really needed it.

She could feel him tense up, knowing this had shocked him, but slowly she felt the tension melt away and his arms tightened around her. He was hugging her back.

            “It’s no matter, my dear.”

            Dear. He called her dear-a harmless endearment, but an endearment nonetheless. She chose to ignore it.

Giving him one last squeeze, she finally pulled away ready to ask him more about their intended destination and inquire as to why he was holding her like one would hold a lover. Her eyes met his for only a second before she instinctively glanced to the side and then back at him. At first she didn’t think anything of what she saw, but as she stared up at Rumplestiltskin, the image of the castle moving off into the distance burned in her vision. Quickly, she glanced back to the side of Rumple to see if that image was real. Sure enough, there off in the distance, and slowly getting further away, was Rumple’s castle, with the Mad Hatter still hopping along atop it, going from turret to turret.

Belle’s eyes practically bulged out of her head. How was this possible? What was going on? She wanted to ask Rumple, but she just happened to look down instead. And suddenly she screamed, screamed louder than she ever had before.

Flying. _Flying._ Sure enough they were flying! There below the two of them was the lake she had just been admiring from the balcony of the castle.  

“Belle?” Rumple said, looking at her concerned when she screamed in his ear.

Belle didn’t notice however, nor could she really hear him. Fear had completely taken over and she could picture nothing but falling to her death-something she had just escaped only minutes ago.

Clinging to Rumple like her life depended on it, she closed her eyes and buried her face in his shoulder. She began babbling non-controllably, saying things that mostly could not be understood, but it was still clear that she was begging to be put down. “Rumple…please…” she managed to choke out as tears streamed down her cheeks.

This was not the reaction Rumple would have expected. “Belle, sweetheart…” he cooed, trying to calm her down, not even realizing he was using a potentially inappropriate endearment on her.

But Belle didn’t notice it either-she was too panicked to think about anything else or even register what was going on around her, besides the fact that they were flying.

Rumplestiltskin held an even firmer grip on her as he slowly lowered them to the ground, landing on the other side of the lake, opposite of where the castle was. Once their feet were firmly planted on the ground, he tried prying her off him, but she just would not let go. “Belle, it’s alright now. We’re on the ground-you’re safe.”

She shook her head disbelievingly, still not opening her eyes or even pulling her head out of the crook of his neck. “No, no, no, no…”

“Belle…yes…just open your eyes and see for yourself.”

Belle shook her head again, still refusing to budge. Rumplestiltskin sighed, defeated, and gently he began to rub her back to try and soothe her and melt away some of her stress.

It was working, because slowly she began to relax and her tears subsided. Her breathing was still a little irregular, but it was returning to normal. Once she felt brave and calm enough, Belle slowly tilted her head back to see if Rumplestiltskin was telling the truth or not, breathing a deep sigh of relief as she saw that he was.

Yes, they were on the ground, she could see that now, and she could feel it under her feet. They were standing there on the lakeside, with a perfect view of everything around it, including the castle, but at the moment she could not enjoy it. She was still worked up about what had just happened.

Her gaze lingered at the sand beneath her feet for a moment-long enough to ensure she was really there and he was not going to shoot them back up in the air again. Then, slowly, she glanced upwards, where she met Rumplestiltskin’s gaze. It was clear to her that he was thinking about nothing but her right then, the wrinkles in his face creasing with worry and the look in his eyes showing sympathy, regret, and…disappointment? What the hell did he have to be disappointed about? Because she hadn’t enjoyed his impulsive action that could have gotten her killed?

It was then she realized she was still standing in his embrace. Abruptly, she shoved free from his arms, putting a few feet in between them. Rumplestiltskin seemed shocked and confused by her action, his hands still in the air where he had been holding her, feeling the loss instantly.

Belle was furious and it showed in her expression as she glared over at him. “You!” Her finger came up to point at him. “How dare you!”

“Belle, I…” he started pleadingly, but was interrupted.

“Did you really think it was okay to do something like that? Did you think I would enjoy it? Or were you pulling a little prank on me in an effort to teach me to be _obedient_ and not defy you?”

“No, Belle, nothing like that!” Rumple quickly shook his head and stepped forward, limping as he walked since he didn’t have his cane. She immediately stepped back. He looked hurt, but he didn’t try to move any closer again. “I thought you might enjoy a flight through the air-to get out of the castle-see the lands from the best view possible…”

He was sincere, but Belle didn’t care. Nor did she care about the fact he could fly. Learning something like that any other time might have fascinated her, but not now. Her body was still shaking from the whole incident. “Well then you should have asked me, not just assumed!” She stomped her foot. “Then you would have learned flying terrifies me!”

“Belle, I had no idea…” he said honestly. The look on his face made it seem like he had failed her at something, but at what she had no idea. “You know I would never let any harm come to you.”

“Do I?” Belle challenged. “Rumplestiltskin I really don’t know what to think when it comes to you. One minute, you’re yelling at me for no apparent reason and tossing me in a dungeon. The next you’re giving me all these expensive clothes and a giant bedroom and treating me as if I mean something to you-that I’m something more than your maid. And then other times you completely ignore me. I don’t know if this is some sick game of yours you created to toy with me or if this is really you…you’re such a mystery to me.” She threw her hands up in defeat. “I don’t know what to do or how to act around you…and I still feel that any little mistake I make might unleash that monster I met my first night here.” Belle was shaking a little bit after her rant and there were even a couple of tears pooling in her eyes. Even now-after basically blowing up at Rumple-she worried that the beast would emerge and it showed on her face.

Belle’s words had clearly caused Rumple distress and he kept his distance from her now, knowing it was not a good idea to approach her. “Belle, you needn’t fear that. I promised you would not see that side of me again,” he said trying to reason with her.

Belle shook her head again and crossed her arms over chest. “But really what does one of your promises mean to me? I don’t even know you-not really.”

“Well have you seen that side of me since?” he asked moving his hands around in the air to show he was getting slightly frustrated and had no idea how to fix this.

“No.”

“Then my promise still holds merit.”

Belle inhaled a deep breath and turned her gaze away from him to the castle across the lake. She couldn’t see the Mad Hatter anymore and briefly wondered where he’d gone. Hopefully, he had not gotten himself stuck again. She _was not_ going to rescue him this time if he had.

Glancing around further, she took her first good look at the area. The lake was even more beautiful up close, the water sparkling and inviting. The mountains surrounded the entire area and they were just as gorgeous. She could see some flowers blooming in the distance and off behind the castle a storm was brewing. All the “excitement” had caused her to not even realize the sun had disappeared behind some dark clouds. She could hear distant thunder and see a few strikes of lightning, but it was still far enough away they didn’t have to worry about it. Nevertheless, she knew Rumple would probably take her back soon, so she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath trying to memorize the sweet smell of the fresh air and how the breeze felt going across her skin. There was no telling if or when she would get this freedom again.

As she stood there, it was silent between the two of them and she could feel his intense gaze on her. Reopening her eyes, she still didn’t turn to him. Instead, she began to rub her upper arms nervously. He was right-so far he had held true to his word. She had no place to accuse him otherwise.

“Belle,” he said finally breaking the silence. She could hear and feel him coming close to her and this time she didn’t move away. “You have to believe me. I honestly assumed you’d enjoy yourself. I thought it could help you get your mem…” He paused, stumbling over his words. What was he really trying to say? “I thought it would be a nice way to surprise you-to show you…that…I…eh…I trust you to go out.”

Belle’s brow furrowed. Had she just heard him correctly? She whirled around to face him, jumping a little when she came face to face with him. Did he enjoy startling her? Looking up at him eagerly she asked, “What did you say?”

“I said you are free to go out and about as you please, as long as you stay a reasonable distance from the castle.”

Her heart began to flutter madly in her chest and she could feel all the anger she had melt away. But she was still astonished that he was allowing her this. “Y..,you trust me to come back?”

Rumple smiled knowingly and turned to step away from her. “I trust you have no where to run out here in the middle of these mountain ranges. If you did you’d surely only find trouble-and not the kind of trouble you’d get from me.”

Oh, so he was only allowing her to go outside in secluded areas. There would be no visits to towns or any place that could potentially be populated. Still, it was a start. If she could show him that she could be trusted, then perhaps he would allow her more.

“And you really mean this…you’re not going to take it back?” she asked, calling out to him, just to make sure this was all real.

He stopped walking and tilted his head back toward her. “Yes, Belle. I mean it.”

He was telling the truth. She knew it in her heart and it made her heart swell. “Thank you,” she spilled out appreciatively, stepping toward him as her hands fiddled with each other.

“No matter,” he replied, still not looking at her fully.

A loud clap of thunder suddenly sounded above them, causing Belle to jump and Rumple to look up. “Best we get back before we’re both drenched,” he said and Belle agreed with him.

She paused however, feeling apprehension. She came forward to stand next to him as she informed him of her reservations. “I…I don’t want to fly. Could we perhaps walk back instead?”

“By the time we reach the castle by foot, Bae will think we both went for a dip in the lake.”   He glanced down at her and smiled softly. “I can transport us with magic-as long as that is alright with you.”

Belle bit her bottom lip as she thought about it. She was a little hesitant about it, but she had seen him do it before. It would only take a fraction of a second; there would be nothing to fear. “Okay,” she replied, giving him a nod.

He held his hand out for her. “Then just take my hand.”

Belle had honestly expected him to grab her by the waist again, but when he didn’t she couldn’t help but feel a little chagrined. Now he was leaving it all up to her; she wasn’t being forced into it. Giving him a small smile, she reached out and locked her hand with his, never taking her eyes off his. Almost immediately they were completely surrounded by a cloud of maroon colored smoke. His grip tightened on hers. She knew it was for reassurance because she knew she was showing some discomfort.

When the smoke dissipated, they were left standing in the Main Hall of the Dark Castle. Belle looked around in awe taking in her surroundings. It was amazing that he could do something like that. They really were standing in the Main Hall-the spotless Main Hall.

“Welcome back Master,” Lumiere’s voice called out from the fireplace, “From a relatively brief excursion, I might add.”

Rumple turned to look at Lumiere. “The storm caught us off guard. I don’t need a sick maid on my hands.”

Sick maid? Oh…if she were to get wet… She shook her head. A comment like that told her he was putting on one of his masks again. He also still had a hold of her hand…

“Shall I set the castle back in motion and continue on our route?” Lumiere questioned.

“Actually, no. I must take leave for a few days and I’d prefer it if you’d stick to the area.”

Leave? What? This was the first Belle had heard of it. “Where are you going? The shop?” she found herself asking with alarm.

He looked at her and placed his other hand atop their joined ones. “No. Out, on business, no where you need to worry about.”

He was hiding something-she knew it, but she also knew there was no way she was going to get him to tell her the truth. She nodded and forced a smile. Did she really not want him to leave? What had come over her?

“While I’m gone-you just remember not to clean too much.”

Belle chuckled. THAT had to be a joke. “I’ll try,” she said playfully, before she finally let go of his hand and turned to leave the room flashing him a smile before she left. Her heart was still beating madly and she had this funny feeling in her stomach. That had to be due to too much excitement for one day, she told herself.

But that didn’t explain why she felt so down about Rumple leaving when before that had been the only thing that she had wanted.


	18. Chapter 18

            The nightmares began soon after Rumplestiltskin left. Before, Belle had never really dreamed at all, but now they just surfaced all of a sudden and at full force too. Most of the scenes and faces she saw made absolutely no sense to Belle, but they still invoked her deepest fears, causing her to lie awake at night just to avoid having to deal with them.

Something had triggered them and the only thing Belle could consider was the fact that Rumple was away. Unless it had to do with his impulsive attempt to surprise her, but she didn’t see why that would be the cause. Except that he had frightened her to death, but she had been more frightened during her first days at the castle. She never had any nightmares then; it was unusual they would start after something less terrifying.

Rumple said he was only going to be gone for a few days, but to Belle it felt like ages. He had gone away before, but it had only been for the day and never over night. Why it should matter, Belle had no clue. It wasn't like she saw that much of him anyway except at meals. Although, there were times he sometimes skipped those when he became too engulfed in his work. If he had never told her he was leaving, it probably would have taken her at least day or two just to figure it out. But then again, maybe not.

The castle seemed different when he was gone. Lonely, barren, dark-darker than it already was. And even though she had Lumiere and Baelfire for company, something she was incredibly thankful for, she couldn't shake the strange feeling she got in Rumple's absence. It no longer felt like there were a pair of eyes on her at all times-even more evidence to prove he spent a lot of time watching and following her without making his presence known. It wasn’t that she wanted him to do that, but did feel safer knowing he was around when she needed him.

It was a mystery to her, what her real reasons were for caring so much that he was gone. There was a time where that was all she wished for. But a couple of months had passed since her arrival and she couldn't deny that Rumplestiltskin wasn't who she thought he was.

During the day Belle tried to concentrate on the chores, but it was difficult. Not only was she down about Rumple being away, but also she was incredibly tired. Over the past two nights she had only gotten at best six or seven good hours of sleep combined.

The one thing that had kept Belle's mood light was her newfound freedom. Going outside was the first thing she had planned to do right after Rumple departed, but the thunderstorm turned into an all night steady rainstorm that had yet to depart three days later. So not only was she lonely for Rumple, terribly sleep deprived, but she was also depressed that she couldn't go outside and enjoy herself for the first time in months.

            To keep her mind off everything the best she could, she did her best to get lost in the cleaning. And surprisingly, the castle was almost completely in order. Most of the rooms one could never tell they had ever been as filthy or as cluttered as before. Plenty of the rooms still needed organizing, but at least they were free of dirt, grime, and spider webs. After this all she would have to do was maintain it and make sure that Rumple and Bae did not let it get in that horrendous state again.

            The worst she had saved for last: Rumple and Baelfire's bathroom. But now was the time to conquer it. Now or never. Standing outside the closed door in her plain blue dress and a handkerchief wrapped around her head to keep her hair back, she held all the cleaning supplies in her hands and took a moment to prepare herself for what she was going to find. She had glimpsed in there one time before and quickly ran away, fearful that she might lose her lunch. Hopefully she would have the stomach for it today.

            Taking a very deep breath, she grabbed the knob and shoved the door open with one swift motion. Almost instantly she had to grab her mouth and choke back some vomit when the musty smell of mold filled her nostrils. There was no way she was going to be able to work through this with that smell. Noticing a window across the room, she sucked in a breath to hold and darted over to it, dodging any of the random items on the floor so she wouldn’t fall. Throwing the window open as fast as she could, she released her breath so she could breathe again. She then closed her eyes, taking in the fresh air that lingered with no smell except the smell of freshly fallen rain.

            It was such a small change, to open the window, but it made everything so much better. She just needed a moment to take in the fresh air before she could turn around and face her ultimate challenge.

            She sighed peacefully as she took in the castle's surroundings. They were still deep in the mountains, but had moved to a more secluded area than before. In Belle's opinion the whole place was secluded, but while Rumple was out, he didn't want the castle to move around much, nor did he want anyone to accidentally stumble upon it.

            Nevertheless, it was all still so beautiful and she wanted nothing more than to go out and enjoy it, but the rain just would not let up. It was as if the whole world was against her, but she quickly pushed that notion from her mind. She had told herself that she was going to stay positive and that was exactly what she had been striving to do. The rain would be gone soon enough and she would be able to enjoy herself.

            Taking yet another deep breath to get one last good whiff of fresh air, Belle braced herself to deal with this bathroom. Stay positive. This was it. Once she cleaned this she would somehow be miraculously caught up. With the worst of the castle anyway. The rooms left to organize would be no problem.

Finally turning around, her eyes widened at the state of the place and she shook her head in disapproval. Honestly, she had not thought anything else in this castle could surprise her, but apparently she was wrong.

            The whole place was a filthy disaster. The sink was caked up with soap scum and hair trimmings from where he shaved. That was definitely Rumple’s mess, because Baelfire was not old enough to shave yet.

The tub was worse. It was covered in soap scum as well, but it also had several coats of some other strange dried liquid that was slimy to the touch. It had turned the tub a shade of several different colors, the sheen of it glistening in the small amount of light streaming in through the window. She didn’t know what it could possibly be from, but she assumed it probably had to do with something magical. Did he brew potions in the thing or take baths?

            How in the hell could Rumplestiltskin use a bathroom like this? He was so obsessed with how he looked-and he did _always_ look good. It was a wonder that he could stay so clean cut with such a bathroom. Did he really get ready every day in here? Or did he have some secret bathroom hidden away where she wasn’t allowed? She wouldn’t put it past him. Thank the gods he gave her her own bathroom. There was absolutely no way she would have _ever_ used this one.

            Her question about the mysterious slime in the tub was soon answered when she opened up the cabinet by the sink. There sat hundreds of bottles full of potions, or lotions, or soaps, or shampoos; she had no idea which. They were all different colors in an assortment of different sized bottles. Some had labels, some didn't. Honestly she didn't know nor care what was what. The only thing that mattered was the ridiculous state it was in just like the rest of the place. It was in need of serious organizing and she did not plan to leave this bathroom until everything was in order and it sparkled like it was brand new.

            By dinnertime she had finished, proud of herself for her accomplishment. It really was an enormous task. She herself was in need of a serious washing after what she just had to go through to get the bathroom in order. But dinner would have to come first because Bae had already been badgering her for over an hour now about being hungry.

            Giving her hands and a face a quick but thorough wash, she went to the kitchen and prepared some simple turkey sandwiches while Baelfire helped her by cutting up some fresh fruit for the side.

            The two then took the food to the Main Hall, which glistened and shined like the rest of the castle. It was going to stay that way too. As soon as Rumplestiltskin was home, she would make sure he understood. Yes this was his house, but she had to draw the line somewhere, especially since technically it was her home now too. There was no way she was going to ever let this place return to its previous state.

            As they ate Belle and Bae engaged in idle conversation. Lumiere was present too, burning steadily in the fire on a couple of new logs.

            "So you really move this castle all by yourself?" Belle asked the fire demon, curious to know so much more about how the castle worked.

            "Oui," Lumiere replied. "Not only that, but the entire castle is powered by me. If anything were to happen to me then at best the whole place would fall apart."

            "At best? What would be the worst?" Belle took a bite of her sandwich as she listened.

            "Why, both myself and Rumplestiltskin would die."

Wait Rumplestiltskin would die? But how was that possible? Belle recalled Lumiere mentioning dire consequences if his fire were ever to go out; she had not realized they would be _that_ extreme. It probably had something to do with magic and magic made absolutely no sense to her.

            If this were all true, how did Lumiere ever expect her to break his curse? She didn't want Rumple to die! Or Lumiere for that matter. But if his curse was broken then that meant he wouldn’t die, so then perhaps Rumple would not die either. She wanted to discuss this more, but she knew she couldn't, not in front of Baelfire. He knew nothing of the deal between her and the fire demon.

            "Well, I do have to say your magic is really wonderful," Belle said with a smile as she set down her water cup. "You do a great job."

            "Really?" The fire seemed to brighten, taking the complement very well. "Merci beaucoup, mademoiselle."

            After they finished dinner, Bae helped Belle take the dirty dishes to the kitchen, wash them, and put them away.

            "Can we make cookies, Belle?" he asked her eagerly.

            Belle chuckled. "Cookies sound great Bae, but after today I'm completely exhausted and in desperate need of a bath. Perhaps tomorrow night?"

            "Okay," Bae said, with just a slight hint of disappointment in his voice.

            "Something for both of us to look forward to then," she replied, ruffling his hair, which elicited a smile from him. "You could use a proper bath too and luckily the bathroom is now in decent shape."

He did not look to happy about her suggestion, but he wasn't going to talk back. He was really a good boy that very rarely argued and never talked back. Rumplestiltskin had done an excellent job raising him. Belle absolutely loved spending time with the boy. Bae was one of the few things that kept her mood so positive.

"Will you read me a story afterwards?" he asked, looking at her hopefully.

            "Of course," Belle said. She gave him a kiss on the forehead and ushered him off to the bathroom, promising him she would meet him in his room in an hour to read and tuck him up for the night.

            After bath time, Belle put Bae to bed and read to him, just like she promised, from a book he chose about a knight and a dragon. This wasn't the first time she had read to him; he had suggested it before. She had been hesitant at first, unsure of how Rumplestiltskin would react to her acting like a mother figure, but the wizard never said a word one way or the other. After getting to know him better, she learned that meant he did not mind and even encouraged it. There were times she had even caught him listening in, but even when she requested it, he would never join them.

That evening Belle expected to get some good rest, especially after all the hard work she put into cleaning that bathroom. Her muscles were so sore and her sleepless nights were really catching up to her. The incredibly long hot bath she took helped remove some of the soreness and relaxed her a great deal.

She thought it would all be enough, but after waking up for the fourth time from the especially horrid nightmares, she was ready to give up. It was just too difficult and frightening to continue to put herself through it.

            When she did close her eyes all she could see were all these faces that she didn't recognize. Whether they were memories of people she knew, she did not know. She truly doubted it.

What happened in the dreams varied. One moment she was being chased by these gruesome black blob creatures, the next she was being tortured with magic by an evil sorceress. A _very_ beautiful and intimidating evil sorceress, with dark ebony hair, bright red lips, and piercing brown eyes. Not only was she incredibly intimidating, but at times she would also mock Belle for being so ugly.

            That wasn't the worst of them though. The most distressing dreams always involved Rumplestiltskin and almost always he was in the form of the beast she had met on her first night. If he were in his human form then some event would always trigger a transformation.

Sometimes he would curse her, others he would torture her and even try to kill her. And the worst ones…where he…well she didn’t even want to think about those. Every time she saw those demonic eyes she would wake in a fret, out of breath and sweating profusely.

In reality, she was beginning to see him in a better light. She hated that her mind was trying to undo all of that. It seemed it was against her lately. First the loss of memories, now this.

            If only Rumple would just come home... She didn't know why she wished that so bad. It wasn't like the nightmares were guaranteed to stop when he did.

            Sleep was definitely not going to come to her tonight. She was just going to have to accept that. So, there was no point in her lying there and continuing to try.

            Climbing out of bed, she slipped her robe on and padded quietly down to the kitchen to make fresh cup of tea to help soothe her nerves. While it sat on the stove and steeped, she decided she would take it to the Main Hall and drink it rather than return to her room.

Maybe Lumiere would be around so she could have some company while she sat and enjoyed her drink. To be honest, she really didn't know if he slept or if he even needed to sleep. When he disappeared from the hearth, she had no idea where he went, but assumed it was just to another part of the castle. That was something she could ask him. She could also talk to him more about their deal.

            The pot whistled, taking her thoughts away from Lumiere. Removing it from the stove, she prepared her tea, adding a tad of cream and a lump of sugar just how she liked it. With the steaming hot tea between her hands, she then made her way down to sit by the fireplace. Even if Lumiere wasn't around, it would be quite peaceful just to sit and relax by the fire.

            All was incredibly quiet in the castle to the point where it was eerie. So when she neared the large doors that led to the Great Room, the sudden ding of a bell made her stop. Her face instantly brightened. There was no mistaking what that sound was. It was the little wheel above the magical door. Rumplestiltskin was home.  

            Picking up her pace, she rushed to the door, ready to greet him, but stopped short in the doorway when she saw him ascending the stairs. Something about the air and the way he looked didn't feel right. It was all too familiar-reminding her of the first time she met him.

            The wheel above the magic door was turned to black-just like that same night. This was the only other time she had seen it turned to that color. The castle also always prevented her from choosing that destination. She had wondered on many occasions where it led and what was so secret about it. And now her curiosity was even more piqued.

            Rumplestiltskin stood there at the top of the stairs briefly. He wore his red velvet cape and his face was covered with the hood. The cape looked tattered and dirty, like he had been in a fight. Oh gods! Was he hurt? Suddenly her stomach welled up in worry and she was about to rush out there to him again when he dropped the hood from his face.

            Belle stifled a gasp and withdrew back into the shadows before he saw her. Her stomach immediately twisted up into knots. It was him. HIM. The demon, the beast. There he stood, his green gold skin glistening in the firelight. There was no mistaking it. Did he see her? Hear her? She didn't think so. He wasn't looking her way. Belle understood that if Rumplestiltskin knew she was there that he would make it known.

            His gaze was toward the fireplace, where Lumiere had just appeared like a dutiful servant.

She turned to leave, not wanting to push her luck, when Lumiere's voice filled the room. "You stink," the servant said, "like rotting animal flesh and burnt iron."

Belle couldn't help but turn back around to eavesdrop. She knew she shouldn't; she knew it was a dangerous and stupid decision, but she just couldn't help it. Rumplestiltskin was shrouded in so much mystery and all she wanted to do was uncover it. That would never happen if she didn't take any risks.

            Rumplestiltskin didn't reply. Instead he strolled over to his chair and plopped down in it, letting out an exasperated sigh. He appeared to be totally drained of energy, to the point where he could barely move. What had he been doing?

            "Master if I may, but you can't continue like this. Soon you will no longer be able to change back," Lumiere stated.

            "War's started," Rumple replied. His voice was different too. Belle could still hear a familiar hint of his deep brogue, but now it was higher pitched. "The Frontlands are a sea of flames..."

            "Compréhensible, but what about your son...the girl...you promised her..."

            "I know what I promised!" the wizard snapped back, causing Belle to jump and Lumiere's fire to flicker. Rumple slowly settled back down in his chair, visibly calming. His gaze fell to the floor. "The ogres are amassing in numbers even I can't handle. I fear the worst and I fear there's more to this war than what meets the eye."

            "Master?"

            Rumplestiltskin looked back up at Lumiere. "I was personally attacked by a group of ogres." He waved it off. "No match for me of course, but someone else is behind this attack. Who and why, I don't know."

            "Don't you have to report to the King?" Lumiere confirmed. "If you did, perhaps he could give you more insight."

            Rumple's hands gripped the arms of the chair, his blackened claws digging into the leather a bit, but not enough to ruin it. "I can't do that. Too risky. I was lucky enough to talk myself out of reporting once before, when Bae forgot to give me the summons. I'm not just going to go prancing into the palace freely." Not giving the fire demon a chance to object, Rumplestiltskin stood and added, "Now send some hot water up so I can take a quick bath before I retire."

            Belle knew that was her queue to get out of there if she didn't want to get caught. Quietly she slipped through the slit she left in the door. Thank the gods she was not wearing shoes, so her feet made absolutely no noise as they met with the floor.

            Once in the hallway she dared to let out a sigh of relief because she had escaped unnoticed. Now she just had to get back to her room as fast as she could before that changed.

            Twirling the cup of tea in her hand, which was now lukewarm, she glanced down at it. She would just have to sit in her room and drink it before she tried to go back to sleep. Going back to the kitchen to get another was not a good idea. Not if Rumplestiltskin could catch her in that form. Apparently he could willing change into the beast as she called it. But according to Lumiere if he kept doing it then he wouldn't be able to change back. Then why do it at all? That conversation had raised more questions when she had only sought to answer the ones she already had.

            Apparently there was a war going on too. An Ogre Wars from the sound of it. That was definitely not good. Was that where Rumple had gone? He was off fighting in the war? That was what it sounded like. He was at least attacked by ogres. If that were true, then it suddenly occurred to Belle she didn't want him to go out anymore. Not to fight. She didn't want him to get hurt. She shook her head. What was wrong with her? Why was she worried about him?

            There was no time to dwell on it though, because out of nowhere she collided with something causing the cup of tea to slosh out of the china and all down her white night dress. Thank gods it wasn’t still hot.

            Belle looked up to see what she had run into and suddenly she was no longer worried for Rumplestiltskin, but for herself.

            "R...rumplestiltskin..." The name tumbled from her lips, but in that moment she wasn’t certain if she was really dealing with the Rumplestiltskin she knew or the monster. All she could stare at and think about were those snakelike eyes. And with the amount of anger she could see radiating from them she was convinced it could only be the monster.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: Sorry for the short chapter (and yet another cliff hanger), but the next one is longer and already almost finished.

Run. Run. RUN. It was the only command her mind could produce, the only logical thing she could think to do right now, but no matter how much she willed them, Belle's feet remained firmly planted in place. And neither could she tear her gaze away from those bright yellow eyes flecked with bits of gold as they bore down into her own. She should say something. Shouldn't she? What could she say? What was Rumplestiltskin going to say? Time seemed to stand still right then while the only sound she could hear was the sound of her pounding heart in her chest. It almost seemed to echo through the hallways because it was so loud.

"What are you doing out here?" Rumplestiltskin finally demanded. His voice was low, almost a growl, but Belle could tell he was holding back. He was angry for sure. It was evident from his labored breathing and clenched fists.

"I…I…uh…I couldn't sleep," she eventually stuttered out, her voice shaking with fear. Oh how could she be so stupid? She should have retreated back upstairs the moment she saw Rumplestiltskin arrive home. But her curiosity had won her over and now she was in trouble. Would this night turn out like her first one? Would she end up in the dungeon again?

One thing she was sure of: he couldn't accuse her of lying. This time she had proof. She held up her half spilt cup of tea. "I came down to prepare a hot cup of tea with hopes that it would help."

His eyes flitted down to the beverage and then back up to her face. "Nice alibi dearie," he sneered. Nope. He didn't believe her. And he called her dearie. He had only ever done that once before and she now realized that she didn't like it. It wasn't an endearment, but an insult. He pointed one of his long scaly fingers at her face as he continued speaking. "You came out here to eavesdrop on me-sticking your nose where it doesn't belong!" He tapped her on the nose and she flinched back.

"NO!" she exclaimed, the fear in her beginning to overtake her body. She could feel herself shaking uncontrollably to the point where she thought she might be sick. Suddenly, she felt something cold and hard press up against her back. The wall. Somehow he had backed her up against it and she hadn't even known it.

"Don't lie to me dearie! It's not nice to tell lies!" He had a little hop in his step as he said that.

"I'm not lying," she pleaded, keeping her hands at her sides. The teacup had been forgotten long ago, tumbling to the floor and shattering. She began to try and explain herself. "I'm telling the truth! I couldn't sleep so I came down to get tea. I was on my way to the Great Hall to sit and enjoy it when I heard the door. I knew it meant you were home and I was so excited because I missed you so, but when I entered the room I saw…" She trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. Her eyes roamed over his body, focusing solely on his oddly colored skin, indicating that she was trying to say she saw him like this. She averted her eyes away from him to stare off into the darkness and forced a tear away. "I was frightened," she added, her voice softer now, and less pleading.

She had a lot to say, but Rumplestiltskin seemed to only focus on one specific phrase she uttered, laughing and mocking her for it. "You missed me?" he said, the words like venom in his mouth. "You MISSED ME?! That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Bah!"

Oh gods…had she said that? What was wrong with her? She had barely admitted that to herself and now she was telling him something she knew in her heart to be true but didn't want to believe herself. How did she expect him to believe her when she didn't even believe it? "I…I…I…" She didn't know what to say in response to that. She could neither deny it nor confirm it. It didn't matter though. Either way would not be good enough for him.

"And if you were truly frightened, then you would have run away, instead of hiding in the shadows!" Perhaps that was true, but in all honesty right now she was terrified beyond anything and she wasn't running. Maybe because she knew it wouldn't do any good. She could never escape the monster; she knew that now. But earlier, she she had the opportunity to escape and she hadn't taken it. How foolish she was.

"I'm sorry! I never meant any harm!" It was her last attempt at trying to get him to be reasonable. She had no other defense. She had already told him the truth, had already admitted something to him that she herself didn't even quite understand. But he was not having any of it, not like this. This was not the Rumplestiltskin she had come to know. This was not the Rumplestiltskin she had missed while he was away. This was the monster, the beast, and in this form it was clear to her that he didn't remember how kind and caring he really was. This was not the man who had treated her with respect, who had saved her from falling to her imminent death, or who had even comforted her in his arms when he had unintentionally alarmed her.

No, this beast that stood before her liked to illicit a reaction out of her. He wanted to instill fear in her. And if she didn't truly believe he might physically harm her when he was like this, completely unable to control his emotions, she might have stood up to him, pushing away her insecurities.

But she couldn't. Not now. Maybe not ever. Instead all she could recall for the moment were those horrid nightmares she had been suffering through the past few nights. Specifically, the ones that only involved Rumple and the horrible things he did to her while he was like this.

For once she thanked the gods that it was so dark in the castle. Her nightgown was white and probably practically see-through now that her front was covered in the spilt tea. But he wouldn't try to take advantage of her like that would he? Touching her in ways that weren't welcome? That was only just her irrational fears surfacing through her nightmares, right? No...she was sure he wouldn't...but she wasn't so sure about the other things that went on her nightmares: the beatings and torture, locking her away in the dungeon for good.

So when he moved his hand up into the air in a flamboyant manner to go along with whatever he was going to say next, she misinterpreted it and suddenly pressed her head back against the wall, closing her eyes and turning it to the side, waiting patiently for a blow to come.

But it never came. Instead, all went quiet and still. Whatever Rumplestiltskin was going to say was never said. Was he gone? Had he disappeared with magic?

Slowly she eased one eye open, then the other tilting her head back where she could see him. No. He was still there, but now he was just standing there as if frozen, with the most horrified look on his face, his hand still lingering in the air. He was still looking at her, but his gaze quickly fell to the floor. It was the first time he had ever broke eye contact with her and not the other way around.

"You…think I was g…going to hit you?" His words came out broken, ashamed, and shocked. His eyes began to dart across the floor as he stepped back away from her. Never had Belle ever seen him act like this, human or not. And he still would not make eye contact with her. Both of his hands ventured up to his hair, running through it timorously. "Oh gods...oh gods...what have I done...I would _never_ hit you…" But he didn't sound so convinced. Stumbling back a few more steps, his eyes finally came up to meet hers eliciting a large gasp from Belle.

The anger in his eyes…it was gone. Completely. And it had been replaced with other emotions: sorrow…maybe loathing, not for her but for himself. Rumplestiltskin was still in the form of the beast, but he was different now. It was like he was having an internal battle with himself, like something was fighting to be free as he stood there fisting handfuls of his hair.

"Belle, I'm sorry." The words tumbled from his lips before he took off, running away from her as fast as he possibly could, leaving Belle standing there completely flabbergasted about what had just happened.


	20. Chapter 20

            Run. Run. RUN. Belle’s mind was still screaming the exact same command at her that it had early-except this time it wasn't telling her to run away from Rumplestiltskin, but to run after him. And her feet seemed to obey this time.

            Without a moment to lose she was sprinting after him, not caring one bit that he was still the beast. She had seen a glimpse of her Rumple in his eyes and that was all it took to persuade her.

            "Rumplestiltskin!" she called out as she tried to catch up to him. "Rumple, please wait!"

            Rumple did not stop at all; instead he picked up his pace. "Go away Belle," he yelled back at her without turning to look at her. "Leave me alone."

            Belle started to object, running only faster and reaching out toward him, but as she was just about to catch up to him he suddenly disappeared, leaving nothing but a puff of purple smoke behind.

            Belle stopped in her tracks in the spot that Rumplestiltskin had last stood. She sighed heavily. Of course he was going to use magic to get away from her. She should have known. The question now was: should she go after him? If she did there was always the possibility that she wouldn't find him. If he didn't want to be found then she knew she would not find him.

            But if she didn't search for him now, how long would it be before he showed himself again? Would he avoid her? Most likely. He didn’t come around that much as it was.

When he was his normal human self again, she was sure he would feel very guilty for breaking his promise to her. The devastation was already evident on his face as he fled from her. Was showing him that she thought he would mistreat her all it took to change how he acted toward her? It appeared that way judging by his reaction.

Why was he so cruel toward her when he looked like a demon? As a human he had never even come close to acting remotely harsh to her. There were so many questions running through her mind and she knew they would not be answered. At least not any time soon.  

            One thing she knew for sure: she did not want him avoiding her for any length of time. She _had_ missed him, but now he was home. The last thing she wanted was for him to go away again or even hide from her like he was gone. Yes, she was going to search the castle and try to find him. Perhaps it was a stupid decision, but she was going to do the brave thing and she was going to do it now before she changed her mind.

            The first place she checked was his bedroom. She mostly steered clear of that place during her time in the Dark Castle, so it wasn't unreasonable to think he might be there. But a knock on the door and a quick peek in the room revealed no Rumplestiltskin-that was unless he was hiding or making himself invisible. If he was then there was nothing else she could do except wait for him to reveal himself to her on his own terms.

            Her second choice was his lab, but she was nervous about going up there. He had warned her many times before that it was a dangerous place and that she should stay away if she didn't want to accidentally turn herself into a toad or something worse. That should have been her first clue to his whereabouts. If he was anywhere in the castle then she was sure that was where he would be.

            As quietly she possibly could she crept up the stone steps becoming more nervous by the second. Not only was she about to enter territory she knew wasn't safe; she was also about to face the beast yet again- _if_ he was still the beast. Perhaps he had changed back into a human. She was under the impression he could do that willingly, but maybe she was wrong. If he was in control of something like that, why didn't he transform before he intercepted her in the hallway? He had after all made a promise and she had come to believe he did not want to break. After overhearing the conversation with Lumiere though, she had an inkling that it was a promise he knew he would never be able to keep no matter how much he wanted to. These were just more questions to add to her ever growing list and she didn’t need to worry about them now. Finding Rumple was her focus.

            Coming to the door to his lab, Belle paused. Was this really a good idea? She closed her eyes and forced herself to stay calm. No, she was not going to back out now. Do the brave thing and bravery will follow. She didn’t know where such courage came from, but she didn’t think twice about it.

            Slowly she gripped the door handle, easing the door open, trying to be careful not to startle Rumple if he was inside. Sure enough, there he was sitting at a... _spinning wheel_? Since when did he spin? She shook her head. Again, not important. However, it did explain why he constantly smelled of straw.

            "Hey," she said softly, lingering in the doorway and shuffling her feet around nervously as she waited for him to reply.

            But he didn't say anything, not at first. He didn't even glance up at her to acknowledge he was aware she was there. He just sat there, slumped over, the slow and steady creaking of the wheel being the only noise filling the room. His hands glimmering in the light as they glided over the mahogany wood told her that he had yet to change back like she had hoped. Brave. She had to remain brave.  

"I told you to go away," he said after a few moments, keeping his eyes focused on his work. His voice was low and dangerous, but there was no mistaking it was forced. She could tell he was feeling remorse.  

            Rumplestiltskin looked more depressed than Belle had ever seen him and she felt a tinge of sympathy for him even after all he put her through.

            Slowly she walked toward his slumped over form, tightening her robe around her body and holding it close. He still didn't move or react at all; he just continued spinning as if she wasn't even there. The way he was sitting now, she couldn't get a good look at his face. His hair was more out of sorts than she had ever seen it and it fell forward covering his face from view.

            "I know," she confirmed, "but I didn't want to leave things like we did."

            No response. Nothing. Was he ignoring her? Or was he attempting to maintain some type of restraint? That would be a reasonable explanation as to why he wanted her to leave. In that case, it could actually be risky for her to remain standing there by his side. Yet, she could not convince herself to go.

            Biting her bottom lip, Belle decided to be bold and take a seat on the floor at his feet. Now she could see his face clearly and could gauge his reactions correctly as she spoke to him. She was very close to him now and the smell that filled her nose confirmed that Lumiere was right. He did smell like burnt iron and rotting flesh. But wasn't so overpowering that she couldn't handle it.

            He still did not say anything, still did not even so much as glance her way. "If you really want me to leave, I will," she said softly, focusing on her hands as she wrung them in her lap anxiously. "But first I want to know that you won't avoid me-that if I do leave-you will still join me for breakfast in the morning."  

            Still no reply. She was beginning to get frustrated. Silence. That was all she was met with. Complete and utter silence. Wait...it was silent. Completely silent. That meant…the wheel had stopped.

            Tilting her head upwards she could see Rumplestiltskin had halted what he was doing and was now looking directly at her, looking at her with _those_ eyes-those bright yellow, unnatural eyes, with black slits down the middle for pupils. She couldn't count the number of times she had dreaded her eyes would meet with them again. All the fretting, all the nightmares, she had convinced herself she would not be able to handle it if it were to happen. That she would break down. Yet, here she was to her surprise, reacting exactly the opposite. Instead of cowering back, she was leaning in closer, taking in the differences between them and his chocolate brown orbs she had grown so accustomed to enjoying everyday.

            But they weren't as terrifying anymore, not when they weren't ferociously blazing with animosity. Right now all Belle could see was a little bit of awe and a tremendous amount of regret, maybe a tinge of sadness.

            Finally he spoke up, not to answer her question, but to provide her with a question of his own. "Did you truly miss me while I was away?"

            Belle's cheeks instantly flushed at the unexpected question and a smile crept up on her lips, betraying how she felt. She had let herself forget she had brought that up, but of course that was the only thing Rumplestiltskin focused on.

            Her eyes flitted back and forth between the floor and his ever-staring gaze as she forced herself to give him the truth. "I did," she admitted, her cheeks getting redder and her smile growing larger.

            Silence again. Only this time she could feel his eyes was still on her. Her gaze now remained on the bottom of the stool he was sitting on. She couldn't bring herself to look at him again worrying that she might have upset him again by confessing her feelings. What if he accused her of lying again? Her heart could not handle that.

            Yet, nothing. No yelling, no false accusations. No reaction whatsoever. But then she felt it-his gentle touch. It startled her at first when his hand came up to touch her face, but she didn't move away or even flinch. She tensed a little, but to ease it she closed her eyes and let the tension melt away as she concentrated on the feel of his thumb as it grazed her skin right underneath her eye.

            "Is this why you haven't been sleeping? Why you have these dark circles under your eyes? Because you missed me?" His voice was filled with concern.            

            Belle's eyes opened, meeting his finally. She thought he would move his hand away, but he didn't. It certainly wasn't helping the blush. She had not realized she had dark circles under her eyes. She went out of her way to avoid mirrors unless she had to. The last thing she wanted do was look at her hideous reflection that she still didn't recognize, not one little bit. Neither Bae nor Lumiere mentioned anything either.

It made sense though. Sleep was the one thing that she had not gotten in a while. "Not exactly," she answered. "I've had many nightmares the past few nights and they have kept me up." That was why she went to get the cup of tea and ended up eavesdropping on Rumple. That part she left out though. Any subject that might make the monster surface she needed to steer clear of. She also chose not to tell him that every once in a while the nightmares gave her a headache, but she did not believe that mattered.

            Rumple’s features creased in worry and deep thought. “You’ve been working too hard,” he scolded. “Doing more than you should.”

            “No, that’s not it!” Belle denied, but then she paused. “I mean…I have been working hard-this place was in such disarray…” She couldn’t see how he ever got by without her. “Which reminds me…I finished the last room today. The whole castle is in order and I expect it to remain that way.” She had it on her list to discuss this with him, but she never imagined she would bring it up while he was like this… Her voice was a little stern, too. Hopefully he wouldn’t take offense and become aggressive again, but she didn’t want to discuss her nightmares, so a change of subject was in order.

            “Oh you do, do you?” he asked, a hint of playfulness in his tone, something new to her, but it quickly turned sarcastic. “And since you’re the master of this castle, then you give the orders?”

            “No, but I am the caretaker and while I’m the caretaker, under no circumstances will I allow it to return to the state it was in when I arrived. But that requires cooperation from both you and your son. I can’t do it alone.”

            “So what is it you expect me to do?” he asked in a cooperative manner. Belle wasn’t sure whether or not he was being sincere or if he was waiting to blow up at her. She had to tread carefully.

            ‘Not be a complete and total slob’ was what she wanted to say, but that definitely wasn’t treading carefully. “Pick up after yourself-put things where they belong. I’ve been making a place for everything and made everyday activities easier to accomplish.”

            “Such as?”

            Belle thought a moment. “Such as laundry baskets in the bedrooms and bathroom. Instead of throwing your dirty clothes on the floor, put them in the basket.” That was one good example. She could go over the rest as needed. She didn’t want to overwhelm him.

Rumplestiltskin sat there regarding her for a minute, his face leaning down just a little bit closer to hers, causing hers to redden even more than it already was. How was it possible he had that effect on her? Especially when he looked so terrifying? Although at the moment he wasn’t _that_ terrifying. Right now he seemed like his usual self without looking the part.

            “I’ll tell you what. I’ll make you a deal.” His hand left her face and went up into the air in a flamboyant gesture. At least this time Belle knew what it was and that it was not an attempt to hit her. It was just a part of his personality.

            “A deal?” Belle creased her eyes together.

            “I’ll attempt to follow your guidelines as long as you promise to take tomorrow for yourself and rest.”

            “A day off?” she asked in disbelief. Really? He was offering that to her? After all her time here she had not had an entire day off. Yes a few hours here or there, but never a whole day. If she said yes, she wasn’t quite sure what she would do with herself. She could try to catch up on sleep, that was probably his intent, but she couldn’t guarantee there would be no nightmares.

            Rumplestiltskin nodded, but didn’t say anything more.

            Belle smiled brightly and one of her hands came up to rest on Rumple’s thigh. “I think I can handle that,” she agreed.

            “Good,” Rumplestiltskin replied in a higher tone, smacking his thighs with both hands out of habit. When they hit, however, one of them came to meet Belle’s and he glanced down suddenly staring in awe at their joined hands.

            Belle couldn’t help but stare either, but for different reasons. Her curiosity was beginning to get the best of her. Before she had not wanted anything to do with Rumplestiltskin when he was in the form of a beast. But now, now she knew he would not harm her, she was more intrigued about his appearance.

            She wondered how his skin felt. It was so odd how it was so different than hers and that it wasn’t permanent. Was it as rough as it looked? His palm was atop hers, so it was not enough to make a conclusion.

It was easy to see why he was a little more frightening when he looked like this. The reptilian skin, the dark claws protruding from the tips of his fingers. His teeth were jagged and yellow and his eyes…well now that she wasn’t frightened, she could not bring herself to stop staring at them. They were so unique and when he wasn’t angry, she could see all the emotions in them that his chocolate brown ones usually held, including that emotion she had yet to identify.

            Out of nowhere, she felt her free hand drift upwards toward his face, slowly so she wouldn’t scare him. He was watching her carefully and quietly, but he didn’t move away like she would have thought. Maybe that meant he didn’t mind.

            Her fingertips were the first to graze the side of his cheek and then her palm came to rest on it. No, it wasn’t as rough as it looked, but nor was it entirely smooth either. In a way it was both, like a texture she had never felt before and she couldn’t help but continue to softly rub her hand against his skin.            

            She kept thinking he was going to either yell and shove her away, or pull away himself, but he never did. Instead, he leaned into her touch and actually closed his eyes. He was enjoying it! The way his facial features seemed to relax…he was so content. The thought made her smile and she herself sighed happily the remainder of the tension in her own body melted away.

            It was a moment shared between them…a little bit more intimate than she had ever intended, but she wouldn’t change anything about it. Even his appearance. His appearance, which was changing. Changing? Wait…what was happening?!

            Suddenly she gasped and pulled her hand back, startled by what she had just witnessed. For a brief moment there as she peered up at him, the gold scales began to fade away and his human face flashed before her eyes. But when she jumped, it startled Rumplestiltskin too and his face returned back to the one that belonged to the monster.

            “What? What is it, Belle?” he asked concerned, but oblivious to what had just happened.

            Belle was confused. She assumed he was just changing back to a human before her eyes. After all he could do that by will couldn’t he?

But based on his reaction, he was completely unaware that it had happened.   Maybe she didn’t understand him as much as she thought. Well…she knew she didn’t understand him as much as she thought. She had made the assumption that he could change back at will based on the little conversation she witnessed between him and Lumiere, but there had to be details missing. If he could do that, then why not change back earlier? Right after he fled from her in the hall? Why wait until she touched him?

            “I…I thought I saw…” Belle stuttered, unsure of what to tell him if he really didn’t know what he had done. Maybe she didn’t see anything. Maybe it was just a trick of her eyes making her see what she wanted to see. The light in the room was as dim as ever. And it was no secret that she preferred him to look human since he frightened her so. And even though she was now fascinated by his odd appearance, during an intimate moment like they had just shared she probably just let herself imagine that it was her Rumplestiltskin-her human Rumplestiltskin.

            Or it could be the fact that she was just so incredibly tired. That was very likely as well.

            “Saw what?” Rumple asked, intrigued, patiently waiting for her to answer.

            Belle sighed and shook her head. “Nothing. I’m sorry. I’m just very tired. The light is playing tricks on me.” If he had changed willingly, then he would bring that up wouldn’t he?

            “You need to rest. Perhaps you should return to your room.”

            Belle abruptly sat up straight and shook her head again. The thought of returning to her room just yet was not appealing. Those nightmares…no she couldn’t. “No, please,” she begged slightly. “I’m not ready to go back.” She paused biting her lower lip. “Would you mind if I stay here for a while? I won’t bother you or get in your way, I promise! I can sit here quietly and you’ll never know I’m here.”

            Rumplestiltskin tilted his head as he studied her, debating on his answer. “I plan to spin and nothing more. Not too exciting.”

            “Please? I don’t want to be alone. And you’ve been away…” It was her roundabout way of reminding him that she had missed him and despite the nightmares, she did want to spend some time with him, even if it was in silence.

            He sighed and shifted his body back to where it was facing the wheel. “Very well, but one peep out of you and you’ll suddenly find yourself back in your bed. I do my best thinking when I spin and I’ll not have you distracting me.”

            Belle smiled. “I won’t disturb you. I promise.”

            Rumplestiltskin nodded and briefly looked out of sorts, like he wasn’t quite sure what to do next, unaccustomed to having someone in the room with him while he spun. Eventually though, he composed himself, putting on the mask Belle knew him to wear and settled into spinning.

            Belle remained on the floor next to him, watching him eagerly as he pushed the thread through the wheel and made gold appear. Gold! She recalled the legends but never knew he really did such a thing. This was the first time she had ever seen him spin. It was miraculous to watch too. He did it so effortlessly, making it look like she could do it too even though she had never touched a spinning wheel in her life-that she knew of. But it had to have taken him years or even decades to be as masterful at it as he was. She couldn’t help but get lost in her own thoughts as she watched him.

            Eventually though, the combination of the steady creaking and movements of the wheel, along with her lack of sleep, caused her eyes to drift close and before she even realized, she had fallen into a deep but peaceful sleep.

            Rumplestiltskin was so focused on his work, so lost in thought, that he almost forgot Belle was there. She had stayed true to her word and remained quiet. However, he paused all of a sudden, stopping the wheel in it’s tracks when he felt something soft and warm lean against his thigh.

            He knew exactly what it was without looking. “Using me as an armrest was never part of our deal, my dear…” he started to say, turning his head to address Belle, but his sentence was stopped short as he saw she was actually fast asleep. He sat there for a brief moment, his mouth still slightly hanging open from his interrupted sentence, and stared. Belle looked so peaceful, so content, lying there, snuggled up against him. Her breaths were slow and steady and her face had no signs of distress, but the dark circles under her eyes were still heavily accented, even in the dim light.

            It was obvious she was in desperate need of rest and the last thing he wanted to do was rouse her, but it wasn’t practical to leave her be. He would be taking the chance of disturbing her every move he made or she would wake with a crick in her neck or a sore back. But still he didn’t have the heart to wake her, especially after her complaints of not being able to sleep.   
            There was another option though, and although he was both nervous and hesitant to do it, he decided he didn’t have much choice. Slowly he turned his body, reaching out to take a hold of her and keep her upright as he moved to stand to his feet. He thought the action would surely rouse her, but she didn’t budge nor make a sound.

            Once standing, with one fail swoop he hauled her up into his arms, cradling her close to him, certain she was about to awaken. If she did, he knew she would not be too keen to find herself in his arms. But no, she didn’t even remotely give any indication that she was awake or aware of what was going on. She did move slightly, however, shifting in Rumplestiltskin’s arms and nuzzling her head into his chest. It took Rumplestiltskin by surprise, but he tried not to think anything about it. After all it didn’t mean anything.

            Making sure he had a good hold on her, Rumplestiltskin began to make his way down to her bedroom with every intent of putting her right in her bed and then leaving. Yet, as soon he laid her gently down on the soft mattress and placed the blanket on top of her he found he could not pull away. Instead, he lingered above her just taking in her beautiful features. Even with the dark circles under her eyes, she was stunning. And it was unfortunate that she was in this situation; that a woman like her was here in the castle with _him_. “I’m sorry Belle,” he said softly.

            Moving away from her, he took a seat on the bed and continued with what he wanted to say, but was too much a coward to say when she was conscious. “You don’t deserve this. I never meant for any of this to happen to you-seeing me like this, living here in the castle, loosing your memories. I should have kept my distance from you after I saved you that day in town. Never should I have brought that book to be repaired at your shop. That was my intent…to keep my distance, but intent is meaningless. I couldn’t keep away. You freely gave me what no one ever would. You appeared to truly care about me and I cared…care about you. But if you had known the truth…” He looked down at his scaled hands and grimaced. “If you had known then what you know now, you would have never stepped foot in my shop and you wouldn’t be here with the monster. You would have never been cursed and you would still have your freedom. You would be happy.”   
            He paused and sighed deeply, before twisting to look back at her still sleeping form. “I don’t want to harm you Belle and I fear that might happen one day. I can’t always control my actions and it’s getting harder each day. But I promise you, Belle, I _will_ find a way to break your curse and you will have your freedom once more. You will be happy and you will never have to worry about me again. I will be out of your life forever.”

            He should have just left then after his long confession he knew she would have no recollection of. But he couldn’t stop himself as he reached out and took her hand, lifted it to his lips, and placed a gentle kiss atop it, letting his lips linger there only a moment before he quietly retreated from the room, leaving Belle to sleep for as long as she desired.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: There is no Dark One dagger in this fic. Rumplestiltskin (or any of the past Dark Ones) cannot be controlled by anyone.

That night after Rumplestiltskin left her, Belle slept peacefully, completely unaware of the small confession he had bestowed upon her before retreating. She still dreamt, only this time her dreams were free of nightmares for the first time in days, but they were also full of things she never expected.

She found herself sitting in the back of little pawnshop Rumplestiltskin owned, the one she had only had a quick glance at during her first days at the castle. Mr. Gold's pawnshop it was called. Rumplestiltskin was there too-no, his name was Mr. Gold. That was what he insisted on being called when they were in the shop just as a precaution if a customer were to walk in. Why he didn't want to use his real name, she had no idea. She thought it was silly, but she did as he wished without question.

Mr. Gold walked over to her and handed her a small porcelain cup, which was white with a quaint blue design on it. It looked familiar, but she brushed it off as having seen it around the shop. It looked very expensive, an antique, but was filled with fresh hot and steamy tea nonetheless. Gold held an identical cup as well, only his had a chip in it. Why would he drink out of a cup with a chip in it? Wasn't he worried about cutting his lip? She tried to express concern, but no words would come out of her mouth no matter how hard she tried to force them.

"Thank you," Belle said with ease, smiling up at him as she carefully took her cup from him. That was weird.

"No matter," he replied, taking a seat next to her on the small makeshift cot in the corner. He was sitting very close to her-up against her really. It took her by surprise, but she did not object.

Taking a sip of the tea, Belle couldn't help but let her eyes roam over Rumple, taking in how absolutely gorgeous he was in that pinstriped suit. She didn't know which she preferred more, the suits or the silks. He pulled both off very well.

A blush crept up on her cheeks as her mind wandered to a place it probably shouldn't have. It was not okay to think of him like that. Or was it? Something was different. It was in the air, she could tell. What was it though?

Sitting his cup down on the little table next to the cot, Gold all of sudden reached over and took Belle's hand in his.

At first Belle was startled by the action, but the confused look on his face made her remember…this was normal. She had allowed him touches like this many times.

"Belle, I must apologize," he said, taking his other hand and caressing her cheek. He was also leaning in toward her.

"Apologize? For what?" she asked, unsure of what he was referring to. She couldn't recall him ever doing anything wrong. All she remembered was the lovely time they shared when she came to visit him at the shop. Wait…no…that wasn't right-the lovely time they shared in the castle. This was the first time he had allowed her in the shop.

"I'm sorry," he said again, not answering her question. Something was off. The way he was talking was unusual. He usually dodged questions, but rarely blatantly ignored them. "I'm sorry," he said again. Still, he was moving even closer. What was happening? Something really was not right…no it was right…she knew it the moment his lips came in to contact with hers.

Whatever he was apologizing for, she didn't care about it anymore. Instantly she sunk into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and closing the remaining distance between them. This was nice, but what had possessed him to do it? They had never kissed before. No wait…yes they had…a few times…how could she forget? His kisses had always been so wonderful, including this one, WOW.

Belle completely lost her train of thought as she pretty much melted into him, letting him deepen the kiss by parting her lips for him. His hand came up to snake in her hair and she could feel her heartbeat quicken and a tingling sensation throughout her body. It felt like she was on fire and all she wanted was more! More...had they done more before? It was all fuzzy. She couldn't remember. Yet, she wasn't going to reject if this were to move in that intimate direction.

"Rumple…" she breathed out as she broke from him and panted for breath.

"Gold…I told you," he said, moving to trail kisses along her jaw. "You must call me Gold..."

"Gold…right…" It was so hard to concentrate when he was lavishing her like this, let alone remember the formalities. His name was Rumple; he was _her_ Rumple and in an intimate moment like this that is what she wanted to call him. If anyone were to walk in on them now, she doubted they would care too much about his name. They would be more embarrassed about the interruption.

His hands began to move down to her thighs and it then occured to her that she was wearing a short dress, a _very short_ dress. That wasn't like her. She didn't own anything like that. No wait she did...several of them. How could she forget? She picked them out herself even though at first she was a little shy about wearing them. But Rumple loved them; he loved everything she wore.

And now his hand was creeping up underneath it. Things were heating up so fast and she didn't know what to think. At first she wanted to push him away-they had never done things like this. She was sure of it now. Why did he all of a sudden think it was acceptable? It wasn't! No, she was changing her mind. It was... Maybe they had been this intimate before. It was all so fuzzy she couldn't be sure. One thing she was sure about though-this did feel right and she quickly pushed away any notion that involved asking him to stop. She wanted this and she wanted it bad. Her whole body felt like it was about to explode; she couldn't handle the anticipation for whatever was about to come.

She whimpered then when he chose to pull back and halt everything that he was doing. Why did he stop? She didn't want him to stop!

Gold smiled warmly at her. He looked just as flush as she felt. Gently he took a hold of her hand again and brought it up to his lips without ever taking his eyes off her. "I love you, Belle," he crooned softly. "Nothing will ever change that."

Love…love…love…he loved her…that was new…wait no it wasn't…or was it? She closed her eyes and brought his free hand up to her face and opened her mouth ready to repeat the words back to him when…

Her eyes popped open to fresh sunlight beaming in through her bedroom window and landing directly on her face. Belle sat up suddenly, her heart racing as she glanced around the room. She was in her bedroom, lying in her bed, not the little pawnshop. There had been no intimate touches or loving words. It had all been a dream. Belle sighed and flopped back down on her pillow, cradling her head in her hand. It was aching-not too much though-definitely not as much as it had been on the nights she had had nightmares.

At least that dream wasn't a nightmare-far from it-but Belle was not going to deny that it might had scared her just as much. How could she have had a dream like that? Of Rumple doing those things to her while she allowed it and even _liked it_. Gods what was wrong with her? By no means did she feel any of those sorts of feelings toward Rumplestiltskin and he certainly didn't feel them for her. They were barely even friends. But it did seem that even now, her body was betraying her. Just the thought of what he was about to do to her in that dream caused her face to heat up and a tingling sensation to erupt in her lower belly.

No, this was only attraction. That was all it was. There was no denying he was handsome. She had already admitted that to herself a while back. But love? No, certainly not.

Trying to move her thoughts on to another subject, she tried to remember coming to bed last night, but honestly she couldn't. The last thing she recalled was confronting Rumplestiltskin in his laboratory and how it had gone so much better than she thought it would have. But still, how did she get here? Had she fallen asleep next to him? Did he carry her down here? No…that was silly…but it was possible he magically transported her to her room.

Or perhaps…yes perhaps the _entire thing_ had been a dream. Not just the pawnshop scene. She had been suffering from a lot of nightmares and being confronted by Rumplestiltskin's demon side was the main focus of many of them. And that was exactly what had supposedly happened to her last night. She couldn't even be sure he was home yet. And by how high the sun was hanging in the sky she deduced he probably wasn't. There was no way he would ever allow her to sleep this late. It had to be close to lunch time if not past. But then she remembered: he had told her to take the day off.

The time in the lab had felt real…and it was much different than any nightmare she had experienced before. Her nightmares had yet to contain any pleasantries of any kind, yet after their initial encounter in the hall he had appeared remorseful and she could honestly say she had enjoyed spending time with him despite his appearance. He looked like a beast, but he acted like the man she had come to…like. Yes like was the word-as much as she could like someone like him. No, it couldn't be love, there was just no possible way.

Gods, what if she had a husband? And she was having dreams and thoughts like this? She would feel horrible for betraying him like this! For some reason though, she felt like she wasn't married although she couldn't know for sure. She still could not remember anything about her past. And with no memories was it even possible she could fall for Rumplestiltskin or anyone for that matter? If she got them back, which she was still optimistic that one day she would, it could change those feelings couldn't it? What she was feeling could not be real.

Belle sighed. It really was late and she needed to rise and stop worrying about these things that may or may not be so. She never slept this late. It was surprising Baelfire had not come bursting in the room complaining about hunger.

She pulled the blanket back and slung her feet over the side of the bed and that's when she noticed it: the tea stain that strung down the front of her nightgown. So her midnight adventure wasn't a dream. She had bumped into Rumplestiltskin in the middle of the night and been terrified beyond all means, but then facing her greatest fear and conquering it had eliminated the terror. She was no longer afraid of Rumplestiltskin and she was excited to wake up and go find him. After days away, she was ready to spend more time with him. Maybe by now he had transformed back into a human.

Belle let out a loud yawn. Her headache had subsided and she did feel refreshed. It was the first good night's sleep she had had in a while. And in the back of her mind she kept telling herself it was because Rumple was home, but she didn't want to believe it. She must have fallen asleep in the lab and he sent her here with magic. He had never been keen on entering her room without her permission. Of course he would use magic.

She stood and walked over to her wardrobe to dress for the day. Passing the mirror she caught glimpse of the tea stain again. She would have to try and get that out soon so it wouldn't set-that was if it hadn't already. The sun was shining for the first time in over a week, it would be a great day to do laundry and she would finally get to go outside just like she had hoped for ever since Rumple had granted her the freedom.

Yes, she knew Rumple had insisted she take the day off, but honestly she had no idea what to do with herself. She had slept in-very late in fact-and that was good enough for her. Staying busy helped keep her mind off all her troubles anyway.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Bonjour, madamoiselle," the familiar French voice greeted as Belle entered the Main Hall. "I see you have finally emerged."

Belle smiled at the fire. "Yes, I'm sorry, I had no intention of sleeping so late."

"Very unusual for you. I'd say you had us all a bit worried, but the Master refused to allow you to be disturbed."

Rumplestiltskin _was_ home; Belle's smile grew. Her doubts were completely gone now about whether or not the encounter was a dream. "Where is the Master…I mean Rumplestiltskin?" It was rare for her to call him Master, but it just slipped out. She much preferred to call him by his name, even more so a nickname.

"Why, still up in his laboratory. He has not emerged since last night. I fear something may be troubling him."

The smile on Belle's face disappeared at those words and she instinctively looked up toward the direction of the laboratory tower. Was he upset with her? Was he still upset with himself? She was certain they had made amends…maybe he was avoiding her just like she feared. Or maybe he was still wallowing in self-loathing for breaking his promise to her. That was the last thing she wanted.

Perhaps she had gone too far when she visited him last night. She had taken more liberties than she ever thought she would have, such as reaching out to stroke his cheek. Maybe they had been unwelcome and he had just done well to contain his true feelings.

"Belle!" exclaimed another familiar voice and suddenly she felt herself being bombarded with a tight embrace as little Baelfire gripped tightly to her waist. She steadied herself on her feet and giggled just a little at the overjoyed little boy as she wrapped her arms around him in return.

"Well good morning to you too, Baelfire, or I guess I should say afternoon."

Bae clung to her even tighter, burying his face in her light blue dress as if he was suppressing tears. "I was so worried about you. I thought you were sick or hurt or that Papa had…" He froze mid sentence and quickly changed his wording. "Or worse…"

Belle knew exactly what the boy was thinking but she didn't dwell on it. She reached down and tilted his face up to look at her and she smiled softly at him. "Well as you can see I'm just fine. I just needed some rest. I've been working hard these past few days. We both have."

Bae calmed now that he could clearly see there was nothing wrong with Belle. He squeezed her one last time and finally pulled away. "Did Lumiere tell you? Papa's home! He came back last night!" The boy spoke eagerly. There was no denying he had missed his father and was happy he was back. Belle also got the feeling he was implying that she had missed him too. And she had…

"Yes, I know," she gave as her answer not wanting to go into great detail about what had happened the night before. It would upset Baelfire if he knew she had encountered Rumplestiltskin while he was the beast.

Then it hit her…maybe that was Rumple's reason for not coming down. Maybe he still had not turned back to a human.

Bae's face fell suddenly. "He won't come out of the lab though. I went up there and tried to convince him, but he refused." The smile suddenly returned as his face lit up with an idea. "Hey, Belle! Maybe you could go up there and see him! I'm sure he would like that and he might even come down if you ask him."

"Oh, um…" Belle hesitated. Would he really want to see her? All reasons she could concoct pointed to no. He was locking himself up there for a reason and she couldn't help believe that it was because of her. "Maybe later…right now I'm a bit hungry." She added that last bit to change the subject before Bae could object. "I was thinking we could spend the day doing laundry since the sun is finally shining and then perhaps we could have a picnic by the lake? Enjoy the nice weather?"

At the sound of picnic, Bae seemed to brighten again and forget about his woes having to do with his father. "I would love that!"

"Great! You go upstairs and collect all the laundry in your's and your father's room-I'll worry about my own and any of the supplies we might need."

"I hope you were not planning on asking me to prepare hot water," Lumiere interjected with dread in his voice.

Belle laughed. "No, I think we can manage quite well without it, thank you. Nothing too messy this time." The tea stain would definitely need to be cleaned with cold water.

Lumiere let out a sigh of relief. Belle always marveled at all the things the little fire demon could do. It was funny to her that he grumbled so much about preparing hot water. Surely that didn't take much effort? Not like moving the castle? But what did she know about it…nothing really. She turned back to Bae. "Grab your clothes and meet me back here. We'll wash the clothes and then hang them out to dry before we relax."

"Don't you want to eat first?" Bae inquired. "You said you were hungry."

"I am, but not terribly. Let's work up our appetites first and then we can enjoy ourselves."

Bae didn't disagree and he ran off to do as he was told.

Belle walked to the washroom and collected a basin for water, two washing bats, and detergent. Leaving the things in the Main Hall, she also brought down her dirty clothes and waited for Bae to join her by the door.

It wasn't long before he came trudging in, his hands so full of clothes it was a wonder he could see where he was going. It appeared he was struggling so Belle quickly rushed over to help him. Together, the two of them worked to get everything outside, Belle of course having to pause to take in the fresh air and feel the sun as it beamed down onto her skin. Thank the gods the rain had passed, but it did leave a little nip in the air and they were forced to wear their cloaks outside to remain comfortable.

"Look Belle, it's that scarecrow!" Bae said suddenly as he stopped what he was doing and pointed out toward the field at something off in the distance.

Belle glanced up and sure enough, there was the Mad Hatter hopping in their direction with that crooked smile on his face and that top hat on his head. So he hadn't disappeared after all. She wondered if he'd been staying around the castle all this time. Surely though he would have had to take shelter from the storm. What was she thinking? He was a scarecrow, meant to be outside. He didn't need to hide from the weather.

"Yes, it is. The Mad Hatter is his name, well it's the name I gave him."

"So you know him?" Bae seemed intrigued as he went back to work.

Belle nodded her head, scrubbing the stain on her nightdress. Luckily it was coming out. "I found him stuck in a bush and I rescued him. Ever since then he won't leave me alone."

"He was stuck in the castle too!"

"Yes, it does seem he has a knack for getting stuck in places." Belle smiled up at the Hatter as he came right next to them. "Hello, my dear friend. Care to help us with the laundry?"

The Hatter jumped up and down as a sign to show he agreed.

"Great, we are almost done washing, you can help us hang the clothes out to dry." The Hatter had the ability to get to places neither Belle nor Baelfire could reach. He would be a great help at stringing clothes lines up from the top of the castle.

After Bae and Belle finished up, the three of them worked together to string up several clothes lines. They clipped the clothes on them before the Hatter took a hold of one end of the rope, hopped to the top of the castle, and wrapped it around a turret so the clothes would be completely basked in the sunlight.

Belle and Bae tied the other end off on some nearby trees. "Quit pulling so hard Hatter!" Bae exclaimed as he tried to secure the line. The Hatter slacked up on the rope some, unaware of how much he had been tugging on it.

There was no place to tie off the last line of clothes, but the Mad Hatter solved that, grabbing onto Belle's end after he had secured the other on the castle. He hopped out toward the lake, stopping when all the clothes were suspended in the air and just stood there holding it.

"I think he likes doing the laundry," Bae commented.

"Yes, I agree," Belle said.

"What do you think he is? A demon maybe?"

Belle tilted her head as she continued to look at the scarecrow. "I don't know, but if he is-I think he's the good kind." Her gaze turned to the castle and she smiled contently unable to stop herself from thinking of Rumple. "After all he brought me here."

Belle never would have been appreciative of that when she first arrived to the Dark Castle, but her attitude was changing. Baelfire was a delightful boy that she had quickly grown fond of and was beginning to think of like her own son. Lumiere was a good friend and Rumplestiltskin...well it had taken her a lot longer to warm up to him after everything he had done. But once she saw behind the mask, behind the rough exterior, she could see his true colors. He tried to play it off, but he was nothing but kind to her. And so unsure of himself too-that he also tried to hide. But when she was around she noticed it. More feelings she was trying to ignore surfaced again; she just was not ready to face them.

She wondered why he insisted on keeping her here-she would not tell anyone about Baelfire. And again, that was something else that she didn't understand. Why did he not want anyone to know about his son? Was he just trying to uphold his image? Did he think it would make him look weak? So many questions...no answers.

Belle reached down and took Bae's hand. "Ready for our picnic?"

"Yes!" Bae said, squeezing her hand and dragging her back inside to the kitchen so they could gather everything they needed.

Belle went over to the cupboard and began to pull out food, while Bae found utensils and a basket to put everything in.

"Can we still bake cookies tonight like you promised?" Bae asked.

"Certainly," Belle replied, glancing back in the cupboard to make sure they had everything they needed to do so. There was almost everything-flour, baking soda, salt, eggs, but they were missing the two most important things: chocolate chips and sugar. Belle sighed and looked at Bae apologetically. "Except we are short the ingredients we need."

Bae's frowned and he sighed.

Belle walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't be sad. I'll inform your father that we are out so he can pick the ingredients up next time he goes shopping. We'll still make cookies, I promise. It just won't be tonight."

Bae nodded and smiled at Belle. "You're right."

"Now, all we need now is a blanket. Go upstairs a find one and I'll meet you outside."

"I know just the one!" Without hesitation Bae sprinted out of the room, leaving Belle to finish up.

As Belle prepared the sandwiches in the kitchen she felt a pang of guilt. Perhaps she should go upstairs and talk to Rumplestiltskin. After all she had thought he agreed to not avoid her, but that seemed to be exactly what he was doing. Yes, she should confront him, she thought. This going back on his word was not going to become a habit of his. She would see to that.

Taking her apron off, she laid it down, ran her hands through her hair a few times, and straightened her dress before she made her way up the stairs to the lab. She was a little nervous, but not as much as she had been before and for different reasons too. Taking a deep breath she knocked lightly on the door and pushed it open before Rumple could reply. "Rumple?" she called out as she looked around for him. She spotted him easily, sitting in the exact same position as the night before, slumped over, spinning at the wheel. He paused and looked up at her, with a small smile on his face- _his human face_. He had transformed back! But when? And why didn't he come down then? "Belle…" he said softly. "I see you are awake and looking refreshed."

Belle nodded and stepped all the way into the room. She remained by the door with her hands crossed in front of her. "Yes, I slept well last night. Although-I didn't mean to sleep in so late! I'm so sorry! I should have woken and prepared breakfast and lunch…"

She was rambling and Rumplestiltskin waved a hand to cut her off. "No need for apologies. If you recall, I gave you the day off to do with as you pleased."

"Oh, yes," Belle said with relief. She began to bite her bottom lip. What should she say? Should she talk about the night before? Ask him how she got to her room? Ask him what he was doing and why he wouldn't come out of the lab? She didn't want to upset him…

"Something on your mind my dear?" he asked. She knew she was fidgeting nervously as she stood there.

"Well yes…um…Bae and I just finished the laundry…"

"Laundry?!" Rumple perked up in his seat then, standing to abandon his spinning wheel in favor of Belle. Belle watched him carefully as he inched toward her, using his cane that had appeared out of nowhere. She wasn't afraid. No not this time. But he also was human again and far less intimidating…but oh so handsome.

Handsome…even though he was still wearing his tattered clothes from his journey and still smelled like burnt iron…so handsome. Her gaze wandered down to his lips and images of her dream started flashing in her mind. All she could think of in that moment was how those lips had felt against hers and how those hands had been so venturous with her body. He wasn't spinning anymore, but she wanted to be that wheel. Her cheeks instantly reddened and she averted her eyes. Hopefully in the lack of light he wouldn't notice her blush. What was wrong with her?

"I thought I told you to take the day off! Why on earth were you doing laundry?" he demanded to know.

"Because it needed to be done!" she explained. "And I was content sleeping in-I was so exhausted. It didn't feel right to take the whole day…" What was she saying? She worked hard, very hard, why wouldn't it feel right? No, that was a lie and she knew he knew it. He was standing right in front of her now, slumped over slightly leaning toward her, scrutinizing her every move and word. "Well it's just that…" She stumbled over her words. "While I appreciate the offer, I don't have anything to do except clean…" It wasn't like she had any belongings, or hobbies. She couldn't even think of any hobbies she would care to do. It was so weird to not know who one was or what one liked, but she was beginning to grow used to it. Right now she was nobody, nobody except for Rumple's maid and she wasn't sure that would ever change. It had been months now and she didn't have even one hint as to who she was.

Rumplestiltskin narrowed his eyes at her and had his finger at his chin like he was thinking hard about what she said. Oh it was moments like these where she wished she could know what was going through his head. He was so mysterious.

It didn't appear he was going to say anything though, so she decided to break the silence and extend an offer. "Like I was saying…Baelfire and I have finished the laundry and we were planning on having a picnic down by the lake. I…we were hoping you would join us." Baelfire had no idea what she was doing, but she knew he would love spending time with his father.

Rumple seemed to snap out of his daze then. He straightened and turned to walk back toward his spinning wheel, putting that mask back on Belle knew all too well. "Appreciate the sentiment my dear, but I'm afraid I'm much too busy for such frivolities. But please, be my guest and enjoy yourselves."

Belle frowned. Busy? He wasn't busy! He was spinning and he had been doing that all night. He was just moping and she knew it! She took a step toward him a leaned over trying to see his face. "But don't you want to spend time with your son?" And me… "You've been away and Baelfire missed you. You would certainly raise his spirits if you came."

He paused and Belle could only wonder once again what he was thinking. She had brought up the subject of being missed again, only this time it was by his son and not her. Was he pondering the truth still? "It would make me happy too…" she added, trying to reinforce what she had told him the night before.

Rumplestiltskin closed his eyes and shook his head. "I'll see both you and the boy soon enough, right now I must clean up after my journey."

Belle nodded, not willing to argue that one-he did still smell. But it was funny how he demanded she have every meal with him, unless it interfered with his plans, but he refused when she only requests it of him. "Very well then, good afternoon Rumplestiltskin." She spoke a little more formally than she would have liked but as she turned to leave he stopped her to add one more thing.

"Oh Belle, see to it Lumiere prepares hot water for my bath."

"Of course," Belle replied trying her best not to snicker. She knew the fire demon was not going to be happy about that, but she couldn't help but think it funny.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"ENCORE?! But what did he do with the water he had me prepare last night?!" Lumiere's thick accent echoed throughout the room as Belle told him the news, struggling to keep a straight face.

"I suppose he let it go to waste," Belle replied with her best guess. He had holed himself up in the room all night after the unexpected encounter with her. Apparently he was too busy with self pity to worry about cleaning up. That was certainly odd for him. He always made sure he was clean and pristine, making sure he always fit the image he desperately wanted to uphold, even when he was only around her and Bae. It once again made Belle worry what he was so concerned about.

"Waste?! I work and I slave all day long, at least he could have the courtesy to use the water I prepare or at least offer a bit of merci! Moving the castle is hard enough!"

Belle still had to resist the urge to chuckle. She didn't know why it seemed so funny, but Lumiere was making a bigger deal about this then he probably should have. Although, she could sympathize with him. Working so hard and never getting so much as a thank you was frustrating. It hit her then that she knew that too. Belle had done a tremendous amount around the castle and Rumplestiltskin had yet to thank her either. Well he might act like a gentleman, but he certainly he needed to be taught some manners. "Well, if it's any consolation, you do a wonderful job. I know you prepare hot water for my room as well-thank you."

Those words seemed to excite the fire a little and Belle could see a smile on his phantom face as he flared up. "Je vous en prie, madamaisolle," he replied. "I'm not accustomed to receiving thanks-I do appreciate it."

Belle nodded and turned her head as Bae came sprinting into the room, his arms full. "I have the blanket Belle! I'm ready for our picnic."

"Great!" Belle walked over to the table and picked up the basket she had filled with food. "Let's go." As she followed Baelfire out the door, the little wheel above it set to green, she waved to Lumiere, promising to visit more with him later.

A thought occurred to her as she stepped out onto the ground. The wheel was green-meaning the door would lead to wherever the castle was standing, but the night before, when Rumple returned home, she remembered it had been set to black. That was the one color that she still had no idea about. It was yet another secret of Rumple's. Even when she had tried to turn the knob, the door wouldn't budge. Only he could open it. Gods there were so many mysteries surrounding this place. Maybe one day Rumplestiltskin would open up to her. She hoped so.

The Hatter was right where they left him, still holding the clothes as happy and carefree as ever. Belle gave him a small wave.

"What about this spot?" Bae asked as he ran excitedly over to a clear spot in the grass near the bank side.

"That's perfect," Belle agreed as she came up next to him. Sitting the basket down, she took one end of the blanket and helped Bae spread it out evenly so they could sit on it.

Settling down, Belle pulled out the sandwiches and fruit. The two of them began to eat and enjoy each other's company while also relishing in the lovely weather. Hopefully it would last, but some clouds resting in the sky behind the mountains told Belle otherwise. Well at least they were able to have this break, even if it was meant to be cut short.

Everything looked so refreshed after having so much rain and the water was so crystal clear and inviting as very tiny waves splashed upon the bank near where they were sitting. If it wasn't chilly outside and if she knew how to swim, Belle might have suggested taking a dip.

But that didn't stop her from slipping her shoes off and putting her feet in once she was finished eating. Bae joined her not too long after.

The water was cold, but not as cold as she had imagined. And it was very relaxing. "I've never felt so peaceful before," she said contently.

"You seem happy Belle," Bae noted, "the happiest since you've came here."

"I suppose I am. I have to admit it's not as bad living here as much as I thought it would be. I only wish…" She paused and looked out toward the lake. "I only wish that I could at least remember who I am. Or something about my past life. I hate not knowing."

Bae looked at her sympathetically. "Has my father tried anything to help you get your memories back?"

Belle shook her head. "He doesn't seem to care at all and I don't feel comfortable asking. I doubt there's anything he could do anyway."

"I think he would help you-if you just asked. Do you want me to ask?"

Belle turned her head and looked at the boy. "No-but thank you for the offer. Rumplestiltskin knows I don't remember anything. If he wanted to help he would-unless he wanted to make a deal. And in that case, I have nothing to offer him. I've already promised him a lifetime or more of servitude."

Belle knew Bae agreed by the look on his face and there was a moment of awkward silence between them. Maybe this was good time for her to bring up what she really wanted to talk about. They were outside and away from Rumplestiltskin's prying ears-or so she hoped. She wasn't sure how he would feel about her asking Bae about him. This was the best chance she had.

Belle twisted a cup of water in her hand as she forced herself to open her mouth. "Bae I was wondering if we could talk about your father." Over her months at the castle, they had breached the subject here or there, but she had never really gotten too much information out of him.

"What about him?"

"I wanted to know why he is the way he is."

Bae shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know-why is anyone the way they are?"

"Oh-that's not what I meant-I meant, why does he change into…you know…" She wasn't sure how to word it. She didn't want to call Rumplestiltskin a monster or a beast and offend Bae, but she also didn't quite believe that was the proper thing to call him either even without taking Bae's feelings into account. "I don't know much about wizards, was he born with the ability to change?"

Bae frowned and averted his gaze out toward the water. The storm was getting closer. The sun was beginning to disappear behind them, but they could still see some sunbeams in breaks in the clouds. "No. He's that way because of me."

Belle's mouth fell open in shock. All the answers she had prepared herself for-that had not been one of them. "Because of you? I don't understand…"

After taking a deep breath, Bae begun telling his story. "My father wasn't born like that. He didn't even have magic-not to my knowledge anyway. Not until he took on the curse-the curse of the Dark One."

Belle recalled Rumple also went by that name; she had never realized it was a curse though.

"And he had to take on that curse because of me. The ogres were attacking the nearby village in massive numbers, more than the army could handle. And it was well known that everyone that went off to war was sure to die and eventually…eventually the age of the boys-and even the girls-they forced to fight became younger and younger and one day it reached thirteen. It happened when it was a week until my thirteenth birthday…"

"Wait…" Belle interrupted him, stopping his tale. "Thirteen? They haven't drafted children into this Ogre War, at least not that I know of." Was there was something she was missing? She had been locked in the castle for a while and Rumplestiltskin rarely talked about current events. She knew about the Ogre War that was in progress, she even remembered seeing the war ship before stumbling upon the castle. She hadn't realized it was that bad out there-nor that they were forcing children to fight in battle. How could they do such a thing? Children that young would not stand a chance against an ogre! If that were true then that would explain why Rumple wanted to keep Bae a secret.

Bae cocked an eyebrow at her, confused for a minute until it hit him. "Oh…oh! No, I should have been clearer. I'm not talking about the current Ogre War."

Okay, that cleared up the issues…no wait, no it didn't. "How could it not be this Ogre War? You're still only twelve and the last Ogre War was…" She paused trying to remember the details. Funny how she could remember history, but nothing about herself. Her eyes widened in shock. "…over two hundred years ago!"

"Yeah that sounds about right-but I don't pay much attention to time anymore."

"But then that would mean you and Rumplestiltskin are both over two hundred years old!"

Bae nodded.

"But it doesn't make any sense! You're still a child!" Belle was more confused than ever.

"I don't age-I just assume it has something to do with my father's curse."

Belle highly doubted that. There was more to this story than what met the eye and Baelfire probably had no idea what it was. If she wanted to find out she knew that would only come from Rumple or Lumiere. "I still don't understand..." He still acted like a twelve year old might act. It was strange. Even if his body didn't age Belle assumed he would mature like an adult after living for such an extended period of time.

"I can't explain it-I still feel twelve not two hundred and whatever I am. It even feels like my birthday is a few days away, but I know it's really not. I guess I still feel the same as the day my father became the Dark One. That's why I think it has to do with his curse."

Something was definitely fishy about this and Belle was going to try and figure it out, but now that the initial shock had passed, she still wanted to know more about Rumple's curse. Sitting her cup down next to her, she pulled her feet out of the water. "I'm sorry I interrupted-I was just taken aback by that-but I would love for you to tell me more-about what happened to you and your father."

Bae smiled at her, brushing off her apology. "Well like I was saying, it was a few days before my birthday and they were going to come and take me. I wanted to fight, but my father refused to lose me. I don't blame him-I was all he had. My mother died when I was very young and he never sought love again. So, he looked into everything he could-trying to find any loophole that would rescue me from my fate. We even tried to run one night, but were caught and drug back to our village. That same night, though, my father met a man who told him of the Dark One and how he could help us. I didn't think it was a good idea-no good stories had ever come from making a deal with him, but my father was insistent and wouldn't take no for an answer. So, we followed the man's advice and summoned the Dark One. He was eager to give us what we wanted, to save me from the Ogre Wars. My Papa was so happy that he didn't even think before he signed that creature's contract. And so I was saved…but then it came time for the Dark One to claim his price."

Belle listened to the boy's story intently, taking in each and every word. "What was his price?"

Bae frowned and his eyes met Belle's. "Me."

Belle gasped. "So what did your father do?"

"He begged and pleaded with the Dark One-offered him anything, but he wouldn't have it. There was nothing else the Dark One wanted, nothing else my father could give-we didn't really have anything at the time. We lived in a little cottage that was falling apart and could barely afford to eat. I thought I was doomed to this fate as I stood there watching my father grovel at the wizard's feet, but then he did something neither of us expected. I don't know why he did it-why he made the offer-but he offered my father another deal-a deal that resulted in Papa taking on the curse, becoming the Dark One himself-all to save me. I don't really understand how he did it, something to do with magic, but he did it all to save me."

Belle looked at the boy in awe. She almost couldn't believe it. A father doing something like that just to save his only son. "Th…that was a really brave thing for him to do. He must love you very much." Still now she continued to see Rumple in a different light.

Those words did not seem to comfort Bae. He fiddled with a a string on his pants as he stared down into his lap. "I guess it was brave-becoming the Dark One to save me, but it wasn't worth it."

"What?" Belle said as she creased her eyebrows.

"He may have saved me, but I lost him, the real him. I see glimpses of him every once in a while-more so since you've come to the castle." Bae flashed a weak smile at Belle. "But I'm afraid one day he'll be gone forever."

Belle's heart felt like it was breaking. She actually regretted bringing the subject up now, even though it did enlighten her. "And by gone-you mean…transformed into the bea…man I met my first day here?"

Bae nodded. "Yes, that is the form he takes when he's purely the Dark One. When he looks human, he acts more like my father, but the Dark One is still there, just dormant I guess. He's darker when he takes that form and he does _horrible_ things, things where even I can't convince him to stop." A few tears pooled in the sides of Bae's eyes.

Belle instantly scooted closer to him and wrapped an arm around the boy. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me what those are." A combination of how upset Bae was and the stories she had heard of the Dark One were all she needed to imagine what events he was referring to. The Dark One was known to make unfair deals, collect first borns, and even kill. The thought that this little boy had to put up with such for so long disheartened Belle.

Bae curled up in Belle's arms and sniffled a couple times. "He's always been able to control it, mostly, changing back and forth, but recently I can tell it's getting harder and harder. I tried to convince him to stop, but he won't. Or maybe he can't, I don't know." Bae clung tightly to Belle. "I don't want to lose him Belle! I love Papa so much and I just want him the way he was before!"

"I know sweetie," she replied gently stroking his back and trying to soothe him.

Bae tilted his head to look up at her. "Do you think you could help him? Find a way to break the curse?"

"I…uh…" She didn't look or feel too hopeful. What the hell could she do?

"Please? You're the only other one who's ever known about him, maybe we could work together and figure it out."

Belle smiled reassuringly and nodded. "I'm willing to try, but I don't know how much I can do."

Bae beamed and hugged her again. "Oh thank you Belle, and don't worry, I know you can find a way."

He was so optimistic. Belle did not want to remind him that she knew nothing of magic or curses. But she didn't want to break his heart, but she would try just like she promised. The thought of the darkness consuming Rumple didn't sit well with her either. She didn't know the man he was before, but she had seen the man behind the mask and she was quite fond of him.

Belle continued to hold Bae, trying to soothe him the best she could. After all this was her fault, ruining their wonderful time by bringing up such a difficult subject.  
A few drops of water fell from above and Belle glanced up to confirm what she was already suspecting: rain.

Quickly she let go of Bae and hopped to her feet. "Hurry Bae, we have to get the clothes back inside!"

Bae clambered to his feet and rushed over to untie the lines from the trees while Belle grabbed the laundry basket and the Hatter freed the clothes from the castle.

Belle and Bae made it back inside just in time with all their things, including the pile of clean clothes when the sky broke loose, pouring rain harder than it ever had before. So much for the sunny weather, Belle thought to herself as she closed the door behind her.

At least they didn't get drenched, for that they were both grateful, although the same couldn't be said for the Hatter. He would be all right, Belle knew. He had been through much worse she was sure of.

Belle looked over at Bae, whose mood had seemingly improved. She smiled at him and started to say, "Well, let's get all these clothes put away," when she was interrupted by Rumplestiltskin's voice bellowing through the hallways as he came storming in the room.

"BELLE WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE!?"


	22. Chapter 22

“BELLE WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE? I SPECIFICALLY ORDERED YOU NOT TO GET CARRIED AWAY!”

Rumplestiltskin’s voice echoed throughout the entire castle, but Belle wasn’t hearing him despite how loud and angry he was. No, there was only one thing she could focus on in that moment and it was the fact that Rumplestiltskin was standing right there in front of her in _nothing but a towel_ wrapped around his waist.

            She nearly fainted and had to take a moment to catch her breath. She suddenly felt very hot and her hands were clammy…and then there was that strange tingling feeling in her belly. Her heart was beating so fast and her breathing was irregular. And he was still yelling at her, but all she could do was stare. She had never seen him this undressed before. The most she had seen was the top of his chest when he chose to forgo his cravat. And during those times she always caught herself glimpsing at the little bit of exposed skin, but now…oh gods now… She couldn’t take her eyes off his chest…arms…legs…and that towel that was so half-haphazardly tied around his waist. It could slip off any second…

            Rumple was almost naked and Belle could not stop her eyes from wandering all over his body. He was a little scrawny, which she had deciphered when he was dressed, but he still had plenty of muscle despite that. His abdominals were chiseled and he had fairly large biceps. She knew he was strong, given the fact he had picked her up several times, but it was one thing to know it, another to see the evidence.

His legs were quite toned too and he didn’t have too much hair on his legs or chest. There were a few scars along the sides of his stomach, which caused her to wonder briefly where they came from, but as her eyes moved lower and caught sight of his foot she could clearly see the injury that was the cause of his limp. A fairly large scar extended from the top of his foot all the way up to his ankle and she could see where the bones had clearly been shattered and not allowed to heal properly. It only brought more questions to her mind. What had caused such an injury? And why did he not heal it with magic? She had noticed when he was transformed into his reptilian form that he did not need the cane, nor did he have the limp. Why did it disappear when he was like that but not as a human? Even as a human he could still perform magic, so what was the difference?

            “BELLE!!!”

            Belle gasped and her eyes shot upwards as her train of thought was broken. She stumbled backwards when she saw Rumple was now looming directly over her. How had she not realized he had come so close? She had been staring directly at him.

            “LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!” he screamed. His hands were laced in his hair and he was pulling at it aggressively. “LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO MY HAIR!”

            It took a moment for Belle’s eyes to focus, for her mind to venture away from the thought of him being so bare right in front of her and him not even caring. It also occurred to her that she should probably be afraid, but she wasn’t. Rumplestiltskin was clearly furious, but he was still human and even if he wasn’t, she had learned that his bark was much worse than his bite.

            Yet as soon as she realized what he was referring to, Belle was far from frightened as she all of a sudden burst into uncontrollable laughter. His hair-it was _ridiculous_. Every day she had known him, it had always been perfectly straight, not a single strand out of place, but now-now it was curly and sticking out in every direction. And Belle could not help but continue laughing. She could hear Baelfire, who was next to her, chuckling as well so she knew she was not the only one who found this amusing.

            Rumplestiltskin however, clearly did not and appeared to only grow angrier at their ridicule.

            “I’m glad you two find my misfortune SO amusing,” he growled, directing his statement more toward Belle than his son.

            Belle managed to contain herself so she could respond. “Misfortune? I think your hair looks nice…” she said with a bright smile. She was partly teasing him, but in a way she was being serious. All he had to do was style it…

            “Nice? NICE? YOU THINK THIS IS NICE!?” Rumple was practically spitting the words in her face because he was so close to her.

            Belle held her ground though, and did not flinch or back away. Her expression remained soft, not angry or frightened whatsoever. “Plenty of men have curly hair,” she explained, “if you could just get it under control…” The curls were a little unruly, but with all the hair products in his bathroom she knew he could easily do something about that.

            He did not think so, however. “Under control? Belle I don’t want to get it under control! I never wanted curly hair! And if I did, do you really think I could do anything with this?!” He grabbed at his hair again. “LOOK AT THIS!”

            Belle thought he was over reacting, but as she caught another glimpse of it, she noticed it was actually becoming curlier. It had appeared that his hair was getting shorter, but in all reality it was just crimping up into tighter curls as they began to plaster to his head. She rolled her eyes. “Well if you didn’t want curly hair, why did you do this you yourself in the first place?”

            Rumplestiltskin stared at her for a minute, furrowing his brows and looking at her like she was crazy. “ _I_ did not do this! Have you been listening to _anything_ I’ve said?!!!!”

            Belle blinked a few times and then it registered with her. When he first came running into the room he had been screaming at her and blaming her for this situation he was in. She had just been so preoccupied with…NO! She couldn’t let her mind wander to those thoughts again. She was distracted enough and it was taking all her energy to focus on speaking…well arguing with him…and not his state of undress. “You blame me for this?” She scoffed. “How could I have possibly done this? I was outside with Baelfire all afternoon!” She motioned over toward Bae as she said his name.

            The boy nodded. “We were having a picnic and doing laundry, Papa,” he said, totally on Belle’s side. His face showed that he was slightly nervous about the way his father was reacting, but he remained calm, able to see that Belle was not worried at all.

            Rumplestiltskin barely batted his eye at his son, his rage still completely focused on Belle. “The potions in my bathroom! You touched them! Rearranged them!”

            Oh…Belle had not thought of that. “I only cleaned the bathroom and organized it like I have all the other rooms,” she said in her defense as she continued to remain calm.

            “It’s _your_ fault my spell was ruined and caused this…THIS…” He pulled at his hair a few more times before throwing his hands up in the air and screeching in a frustrating manner.

            Now Belle was beginning to get a little irritated with him. This was not entirely her fault. After all, Rumple was the one who wanted a maid to begin with. He was the one who kept her here. Not only that, but he was also a powerful magician. He should know what his potions looked like or what they did. “Well, perhaps if you put labels on the bottles or bothered to read the ones that do then you wouldn’t be in this situation,” she countered back as she crossed her arms over her chest.

            “Well, you should have done as you were told and not cleaned so much!”

            Belle huffed. There was no convincing him that he was in the wrong, she knew it, even if she had been the one to rearrange his things. But she wasn’t going to give in that easy. “Well if you didn’t want me to clean the bathroom you should have specifically ordered me not to!” He had told her not to get carried away, but really what did that mean to her?

            Rumplestiltskin didn’t say anything else then and the two of them just stood there nose to nose, staring each other in the eye, unblinking.

            Bae remained off to the side, watching the whole thing surprised, but happy that Belle was for once standing up for herself. It was clear she was not going to back down. It did, however, frighten him a little because he knew what his father was really capable of. But would Rumplestiltskin really harm her?

            Finally, after what seemed like hours, Rumple was the first to give in, angrily growling at her, before turning on his heels and stomping over to his chair by Lumiere-who was quietly watching the entire scene transpire before him.

            Plopping down into the large wing-backed seat, Rumple hunched over and threw his head in his hands. It looked as if he was giving up and it made Belle more confused than angry. Why was this an issue? Sure she had organized his potions and caused him to make a mistake, but it could be easily fixed with magic couldn’t it? It was only hair…

But, perhaps it could have been much worse. Perhaps if he had mixed a different set of potions it could have harmed him. She didn’t want that. In the future, she would have to make sure not to touch any potions without asking.

            Belle gave a quick glance over at Bae who looked just as confused as she did. He shrugged his shoulders, but said nothing. Sighing heavily Belle walked over to Rumple, bent down next to him, and placed her hand on his shoulder. His bare shoulder… She had only touched his hand and his cheek before. This was new, but he didn’t budge. His actions reminded Belle of a three year old tantrum.

            Rumple was being completely unreasonable, but he was also upset and she only wanted to make him feel better, especially since she had indirectly caused the whole thing. “Hey,” she said softly letting a small smile form on her face as she tried to get him to look at her. Her gaze went to his hair, which was now so curly that it almost made him look as if he cut it as well. “It’s only hair-can’t you mix a potion to straighten it back out again?” The answer to the problem seemed so obvious, even to her who knew nothing about magic.

            For a moment he still didn’t move or look at her and continued to sit there slumped over in shame and frustration. He wasn’t responding to her at all and Belle wondered what was going on through his head. Then, finally he spoke, leaving his face buried in his hands. “You would know wouldn’t you dearie? Given all the magic you’ve practiced,” he grumbled with a large tone of sarcasm that was muffled through his fingers.

            “What?” Belle said as she processed what he said. The nickname caused her to move her hand away from him. “I’m only trying to help!” she added trying not to start another argument. She feared it was inevitable however.

            “Oh you can help…” He turned his head to where he was looking at her and his eyes were burning with sheer rage. She thought she saw a flash of his reptilian eyes, but they were gone almost as fast as they had appeared. Was he starting to change into the imp?

“You can help by getting the hell out of my castle.” He spoke so softly that it made it almost seem like he was joking, but the look on his face read that he wasn’t.

Belle paused and squinted her eyes as she shook her head as if she did not hear him correctly. “What?” she said barely above a whisper as her expression instantly turning to one of shock. No…there was no possible way he had said that…

            Rumple spoke so plainly, like she meant nothing to him and never had. “You heard me dearie. I don’t want you anymore.”

            There was no mistaking his words this time and all of a sudden it was like Belle’s world was spinning in circles, so fast that she couldn’t concentrate. Objections from both Lumiere and Baelfire could be heard in the background, but she couldn’t focus on them hard enough to decipher exactly what they were saying. All she could focus on was what Rumplestiltskin had just said to her. He didn’t want her anymore and that essentially meant she was free. FREE. Freedom was all she had ever truly asked from him. It was like a dream come true. But why did she feel so upset? Like she wanted to burst out in tears? Why did she feel like her heart had been literally ripped from her chest? She should be happy! She should be jumping to her feet, grabbing her things, and darting out the door without one last thought of this place. Yet, she wasn’t. No…she was still there, frozen by his side, even though she now knew he didn’t want her there.

            Suddenly, she threw herself to her feet to tower over him. Her fists clenched at her sides as the hurt inside her transformed into anger. “This is absurd,” she began with a raised voice. “You want to toss me aside all because I made a mistake and ruined your hair? It’s hair…it’s not important and you can easily fix it! You have so much in your life that is worth so much more-like your son for one! But me… I have no one! Nothing! I’m not even beautiful! And I don’t remember who I am and probably never will! I will always have nothing while you have more than I could ever ask for!” Her eyes burned with tears as she tried to force out everything that she wanted to say. “And I thought…perhaps…that…that…” She sniffled several times. She had thought that he cared about her, but oh how she was mistaken. “You’re a coward Rumplestiltskin who only cares about yourself!” And with that Belle took off toward the door, screaming at both Baelfire and Lumiere, “I should have never come here!”

The tears in her eyes had clouded her vision, causing her to not notice Rumplestiltskin’s skin flashing between the gold scales and the tanned human skin before she turned to run away.

The enchanted door swung open to the castle, leading Belle back outside to the lake where she had just shared a picnic with Bae and the Hatter only a few minutes ago. The sky had since let loose, and the rain was coming down in heavy turrets, drenching her to the bone. But Belle did not care. She just had to get away.

            Belle barely made it a few feet from the castle before she felt like collapsing onto the ground. The world was starting to spin again and each step was becoming more and more painful. The tears and the rain both made it hard to see. And when she could not manage anymore, Belle’s legs gave out beneath her and she collapsed down onto her hands and knees. She was crying harder than she ever had before-even moreso than the night Rumple had thrown her in the dungeon.

            It felt like her heart was literally breaking in two and her chest was caving in. She could not understand why. Her freedom was what she had wanted, what she had dreamt of and now that she had it…well she wanted nothing more than to give it back. Rumplestiltskin was so infuriating, but her time here had been more pleasant than she had thought. She adored Baelfire so much, Lumiere was a great friend, and Rumplestiltskin…well Rumplestiltskin… She sniffled again unable to put her thoughts together or really understand how she felt about the wizard. It was giving her another headache, a bad one this time, and the crying was not helping. SHe didn’t care about Rumplestiltskin, no she didn’t want to care about Rumple, but deep down she knew she did.

            If she truly admitted it to herself, this place had really begun to feel like home and, especially to one who had no recollection of who she was, that meant a lot. And now she had lost it, forever. Now she truly had nothing. She was more broken now than when she had first arrived at the Dark Castle and there was nothing she could do about it. Coming here had been the worst mistake of her life and now there was no going back.

 


	23. Chapter 23

"Belle! Belle!"

The sound of a voice, a boy's voice echoed lightly through the area, barely reaching Belle's ears. "Belle! Please! I need your help!" he called.

But Belle barely moved and remained there on the ground. The name was so foreign once again after months of growing used to it and she felt so lost in the moment that she couldn't even recognize that the boy was addressing her.

"BELLE!" he called again, louder this time, closer.

Still she did nothing. Everything around her was so blurry, mostly because of all the tears and the rain, which appeared to have stopped for the time being even though the drip drop sound of rain could still be heard as that hit the lake water nearby.

And she was still so dizzy, nauseous even, about what had just occurred between her and Rumple that she couldn't register anything that was going on around her. She didn't know that it was actually still raining, but that the Mad Hatter had hopped over to soothe her in the only way he could by holding an umbrella over her so that she didn't get wet. It was a pointless effort, given that she was already drenched, but it was a kind gesture nonetheless.

A pair of hands grabbed her by the arm and began to tug on her, trying to lift her up off the ground. The ache in her chest was so strong that she had no feeling in the rest of her body and it wasn't until Baelfire ripped on her arm so hard, causing her to almost topple all the way over into the mud that the world slowly began to come into focus.

Belle steadied herself, moving to sit on the back of her legs and wiping the excessive amount of tears from her eyes. Sniffling a few times, her gaze came up to meet a desperate Balefire, who also had tear stained cheeks.

"Belle please…" he begged grasping her hand this time and trying to pull her up to her feet. It was clear he was very upset.

She blinked a few times a spoke when she finally knew she was in control of her emotions again. "What is it?" she asked softly, her voice hoarse from all the crying.

"It's Papa! He's fainted! He won't wake up! Oh Belle…I don't know what to do! You have to help! PLEASE!"

The boy was almost hysterical and while she wanted to believe that he was just overreacting, she feared this was more serious than it appeared to be. Rumplestiltskin had fainted? Why? Did it have anything to do with her? Certainly it did not. He was angry and she knew he despised her, why would he care if she left? He was the one that wanted her gone. She knew he felt nothing that even remotely came close to the way she was feeling in that very moment. Most likely, this was just some over dramatic attempt at getting attention because of his ridiculous hair. But why would he act that way when his only audience was his son and Lumiere?

Either way, Baelfire was distraught and she knew the best decision she could make right now would be to agree to help the boy. No matter what happened between her and Rumplestiltskin, she had come to love the child very much, almost as if he was her own. She couldn't abandon him in such a state no matter how much she didn't want to take another step back in that castle.

"Please Belle…" he said yet again, his voice beginning to trail off with a hint of hopelessness.

That last plea caused her to finally snap out of it and nod her head as she let him help her to her feet. Once standing, she had to adjust her balance because her dress was very heavy, having sopped up a significant amount of mud. Her hair was also clinging tightly to her face and she knew she looked grimy, but none of that mattered now. She had to concentrate on helping Baelfire with his father, not her looks. She wasn't even that pretty to begin with.

Taking a deep breath, Belle took Bae's hand and let him lead her back into the castle, knowing very well that she would not be able to do it on her own. The Mad Hatter remained with them all the way up to the threshold, holding the umbrella over the pair now and not just Belle. Having noticed, she flashed him the best smile she could manage, silently thanking him, before working up the last of her courage and stepping through the door and into the Dark Castle.

The first thing Belle noticed as she stepped up out of the stairwell was the state of the Main Hall. Her mouth hung open in shock and her eyes widened. It had been completely destroyed. The books were flung off the shelves, anything breakable in the room had been shattered, the dining table and chairs were all overturned, and one of the cabinets was toppled over. Belle had not witnessed any of this, but she knew this had to be one of the worst tantrums Rumplestiltskin had ever thrown, at least during the months she had known him. And poor Baelfire- he had to endure the entire thing. All of this because of his hair? This was more than absurd. By gods it was just hair! All Rumple had to do was change it back!

Thankfully Lumiere was still burning brightly in the fireplace-she had feared in his rage Rumplestiltskin might have snuffed him out. But no, there he was, flickering helplessly in his stone walled prison. "Madamoiselle!" he exclaimed, addressing her the moment he saw her. "Thank the gods you're here…the Master…he transformed the moment you left and lost all control. Nothing would calm him." Lumiere didn't have to go into much detail about what Rumplestiltskin had actually done; Belle could deduce that all on her own by just looking at the wrecked room. "Then during his fit-he just collapsed."

Belle turned her gaze over to the heap on the floor that was Rumplestiltskin. Baelfire had let go of her hand and was already on the floor next to his father, sobbing softly. When she saw Rumplestiltskin lying there completely motionless it was like her whole world stopped. She completely forgot about everything that had just happened. She couldn't remember that he had just yelled at her, threw her out, and had a tantrum all because she made a mistake and messed up his hair. She couldn't remember that she didn't even know who she was or that she had just been outside thinking she had ruined her life. No, all she could think about was that she was might lose the most important person in her life.

In the blink of an eye, she was down at Rumplestiltskin's side as well. "Rumple?" she asked softly, examined his features and seeing if he would respond. She could see now that Lumiere was right. He had taken on his beastly form, his skin sparkling more than ever and looking nothing like his human self. If his eyes were open, she knew they wouldn't be the deep chestnut brown that she so adored, but the yellow slits that resembled that of a lizard's and not a human. His hair was still very curly, but it looked to have ceased curling anymore than it had already.

The room was incredibly quiet, all except for the crackling of the fire and the sobs coming from little Baelfire. He was clinging tightly to his father's hand and he looked up at Belle with all hope lost. "Is he dead?" he asked, barely forming the words.

Belle shook her head instantly. "No…No…Look…" She pointed toward Rumple's chest. "See, he's breathing." It was very shallow and almost hard to miss, but thank the gods his chest was indeed moving up and down. "He's only unconscious."

Bae appeared relieved, but only slightly. "Why won't he wake up?"

"I don't know." She leaned in closer to Rumple and spoke his name softly, praying she could wake him up. Her hand drifted up to touch the side of his cheek gently. When he didn't budge, her eyes began to fill with tears. What was she going to do? What if he didn't wake up? What would become of Bae? She couldn't think like that…she had to hold it together, especially in front of Bae because she didn't want to upset him more than he already was.

Still, she couldn't stop the few tears that slipped out and she brought Rumple's hand up to her own cheek as she fought to stay in control. She closed her eyes and softly pleaded with him as she nuzzled his hand. "Rumple…please…wake up…" In that moment she didn't care what had just occurred between them. All she wanted was for him to wake and to be fine. She really wished that he wasn't plagued by this terrible curse in the first place-so that they might live a normal life, but that was too much to ask.

Just then she felt his fingers suddenly caress her tear stained cheek and she knew she was getting her wish-part of it at least. Belle's eyes instantly popped open and she looked down at Rumple expectantly. His eyes were still closed but she was sure she saw him stir.

She gasped softly and looked toward Bae, smiling just a little. "Bae, he's waking up."

Bae's face lit up. "Really?" he asked, not having seen the tiny movement his father had made.

"Yes and we need to get him upstairs to his room. He needs rest and the floor is no place for that. You think you can help me carry him?" Rumple groaned and began to stir a little more; Belle was certain she could get him to walk a little as long as he had help.

Bae looked between her and his father. "I think so…"

Belle gave a curt nod and put her arm underneath Rumple to lift him up. She tried not to think about the fact that he was basically naked with only the towel around his waist. "You grab his other side," she directed to Bae. Rumple was definitely waking up now so his body wasn't as limp, but he wasn't trying to help them out either. He was much heavier than he looked and Belle wasn't sure Bae and her would be able to do this. They would certainly try though.

"Rumple, stand to your feet, please," she requested hoping he was conscious enough to obey.

Luckily, he was and he put forth some effort. Even though it wasn't much, the pair soon had the wizard on his feet and draped over their shoulders so they could start what now seemed like a very long trek to Rumple's bedroom.

Taking it one step at a time, Belle and Bae both remained quiet as they both tried to concentrate on holding the limp Rumple up long enough to get to their destination. They were practically dragging him there, although every once in a while he would take a step or two.

The stairs were the hardest, but they managed although Belle knew her entire body would be sore the next day. It was the one time though that she did wish for Rumple's magic. It would have made the process much easier.

When they made it to the top of the stairs, Belle and Bae both perked up seeing Rumple's bedroom door was in sight. It caused Belle to smile in relief and look down just briefly only to gasp loudly and quickly look back up at the ceiling. Somewhere along the way Rumple's towel had come loose and fallen off, leaving Rumple completely bare. She was dragging Rumple back to his room NAKED. And she had just gotten a glimpse of his…of that… OH GODS! She swallowed hard and began to sweat profusely and it wasn't because of the physical labor she was doing. Her concentration was completely broken now and she could not think about anything except THAT. The image felt like it was burned into her mind. And the whole fiasco caused her to almost trip and bring Bae and Rumple with her. Luckily, the wall was right there and she was able to catch herself.

"Belle are you okay?" Bae asked, having been thrown off by her misstep.

"Yes, yes," Belle said quickly, almost too quickly. "Let's just get him to his room-he's heavy."

Doing the best she could to ignore what she had just seen, Belle managed to help Bae get Rumple into his bedroom and onto the bed. It was annoying and difficult to dodge all of the knick-knacks strewn about the room-she hadn't cleaned it due to giving him privacy-but she didn't take the time to look around. She just wanted to lay him down and get out of there as fast as possible. She was blushing profusely and still thinking about it, despite her attempts not to. Seeing him like that at least answered one of the many questions that had always burned in the back of her mind-one she had always tried to ignore. When he was transformed, all of him…and she now knew that ALL of him, sparkled green-gold just like his face and hands.

As soon as Rumple was on the bed, Belle quickly threw the nearest blanket over him, knowing her entire face was dark red at this point. "Bae-if you could dress him," she requested, knowing the boy would understand. He nodded and she turned to leave, but a hand grabbing her wrist stopped her. She thought it was Bae at first, but when she turned her head she saw the green, rough, and textured hands with the dark fingernails. Her gaze traveled up the bare arm and stopped when she met Rumple's eyes. They were partly open now and staring straight at her. He looked dazed and she really couldn't read what he was thinking, but she feared what he might say.

"Belle…" he whispered. If she didn't know any better, she would say there was a hint of a smile on his lips as he spoke. "You came back…"

Belle hesitated, hearing what he said, but not responding. He was awake and she was worried now-yes she was back after he had just told her to get out. And she knew that if she remained in this room any longer he was bound to go ballistic on her. She didn't want to take the chance of that happening. She knew she couldn't handle any more rejection.

She inhaled a shaky breath before ripping her arm from his grip and sprinting out the door. She should have run straight back outside-away from this place-but instead, she ran all the way to her room, slamming the door and locking it behind her.

Putting her back to the door she leaned against it and slowly slid down until she was sitting on the ground. She had never felt so lost and alone-even more so than when she woke up without any memories.

What was she going to do now? Should she stay? Should she leave? Should she stay for the night and just leave in the morning? Part of her wanted to do that, just to ensure Rumplestiltskin was going to be all right, but he was just throwing a tantrum after all, wasn't he? But how did a tantrum cause him to pass out like he did? The puzzle pieces just didn't fit together right.

"I've never seen him that out of control," came a voice from the fireplace.

Belle jumped and put her hand over her heart. She let out a deep breath when she saw it was only Lumiere and no one else. "Oh, Lumiere you startled me."

"Apologies, madamoiselle. I know I do not normally barge in like this, but I am worried about the Master."

Belle furrowed her brows and stood so that she could step closer to the fire to listen to what he had to say.

"The curse. It's growing stronger-it's beginning to seep into him even when he doesn't take his cursed form. I knew he was starting to lose control, but when you walked out that door, he was worse than I have ever seen him before. It completely took over-there was little to none of the man left-and I think it took a toll on his body causing him to lose consciousness."

Belle recalled the state of the room and how frightened Bae had been for his father. Why would her leaving cause a scene like that? Rumplestiltskin had made it perfectly clear how he felt about her and that he didn't want her here anymore.

"I fear you may be the only one who can help him now."

"ME?" Belle blurted out in shock. "Why me?" Why did everyone seem to think she could solve their problems? First Lumiere had asked her to find a way to break his curse, then Bae wanted her to break his father's curse, and now Lumiere was basically asking her the same thing. "How am I supposed to help? I don't know anything about curses or magic!" She was beginning to get worked up and her voice was rising. She wasn't yelling at Lumiere specifically, but at the whole idea in general. "How can I help you or Rumplestiltskin when I can't even help myself!" Her frustration began to grow as she was once again reminded of her memory loss and she started pacing the floor. "No! No! I can't do this!" She turned her back to Lumiere, crossed her arms over her chest, and shook her head. "No-you'll have to find someone else…he doesn't even want me here! Why should I help?"

Lumiere remained calm and allowed Belle to vent as much as she needed. "But, ma chere, don't you see? He does want you! He almost went mad the moment you left."

Belle sniffled refusing to let tears fall. They were certainly threatening to, but she held them back. There had certainly been enough of those already.

She didn't want to deal with this. It was too much. She refused to think about the alternative meaning Lumiere might be referring to. She didn't believe that it was possible Rumplestiltskin might actually care about her. "Then why not come after me? Why banish me in the first place?"

"It's the curse-you know there are times he cannot control his actions."

"Yes, but he's only like that when he's transformed. He's never acted in such a way when he's human." In Belle's mind, Rumplestiltskin knew what he was doing and what he was saying.

"Like I said, the curse is beginning to get to him, both human and not. Soon there will be none of your Rumplestiltskin left…"

Belle heard him, but she remained quiet. Even if that were true, she still did not understand what she could do.

"Sil vous plait madamoiselle, think about what I said before you make your decision to go or stay."

Belle closed her eyes and drew her arms closer to her chest as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She still did not turn around to face the demon, but slowly she nodded her head, agreeing to think about what he said.

And with that Lumiere was gone, leaving her alone once more with nothing but her thoughts.

But Belle didn't want to think about it. Not right now at least. It was just too much to handle. Not just everything that had happened or that could happen, but what all of it might mean as well.

For now she was just going to push it aside. She would take a nice, long, warm bath, try to get a good night's sleep, and think about it in the morning. Traveling would be much easier if she was clean and well rested. And if she did decide to leave, then she knew she could never look back. It would be too difficult.

After bathing, Belle's stomach grumbled, but chose to forego dinner, not wanting to leave the room for fear of who she might encounter. She didn't even believe she could speak to Baelfire at the moment because she knew he would want to talk about his father. She didn't have the energy to eat anyway. So she climbed in her bed and luckily fell into a peaceful and dreamless sleep for once, only to be awoken early the next morning by a gentle rapping on the door.

Little Bae's voice came drifting through the door, calling out the words that Belle had so dreaded to hear: "Belle, Papa wants to see you."


	24. Chapter 24

“Belle, Papa wants to see you.”

            The words echoed again in Belle’s mind even though Baelfire did not repeat them. Rumplestiltskin actually wanted to see her…her heart fluttered momentarily as she felt a tinge of excitement. But quickly she pushed those feelings away.

            There was only one reason he would want to see her now. She was still here after he had sent her away to never come back. Basically she was an intruder now-which in truth she had been all along-not to mention he was probably still angry with her about his hair.

            No, there was no reason to feel anything but dread right now. All he was going to do was yell at her or threaten her-probably throw her out again-or worse: put her back in that wretched dungeon. He did not care for her, no matter what Lumiere believed.

            Rumplestiltskin had made it perfectly clear how he felt. It just wasn’t possible and even if it were, why would he love someone like her? She was scrawny, certainly not pretty, and she didn’t even know who she really was. How could he know her enough to love her if she didn’t know herself?

At times she felt like she didn’t even have much of a personality. All she did was clean and obey every single command the wizard gave her. Even the one time Rumple had given her free time she had no idea what to with herself and still ended up doing some type of chore. She had no hobbies and nothing seemed appealing when she thought about it. All she wanted was her memories back, but she knew that was a wish that would probably never be fulfilled.

Rumple could not love her. No, not at all. His outburst had to be related to something else entirely…it just had to be…

“Belle!” Baelfire’s voice came sailing through the bedroom door again, trying to get her to answer.

Belle hopped up out of bed. “I’m coming…sorry,” she called. Grabbing a robe, she slipped it on over her nightgown and ran to the door to unlock it.

“Papa wants to see you,” Baelfire repeated when the door opened.

Belle took a deep breath and there was no mistaking the fear in her eyes. “I…I don’t think that’s a good idea. I should…um…I should just grab my things and leave.”

Belle could see there were tears pooling in Baelfire’s eyes and she honestly had no idea why. Maybe Rumple had yelled at the boy or threatened him. Or maybe he was just upset about this whole situation. Or maybe this had to do with his father’s curse. She knew how much the boy loved his father and wanted to rid him of that horrible thing.

Bae shook his head. “No, he told me not to give you a choice. You _have_ to speak to him.”

Belle did not _have_ to do anything, but she knew if that was what Rumplestiltskin wished, his magic could stop her from doing anything else, so slowly she nodded her head. It would be better for everyone if she just complied. “Alright…just let me change before I go.”

“No,” Bae interjected. “He wants to see you RIGHT NOW.”

Oh gods…that didn’t make Belle feel any better. She knew she was in trouble and she had no way of running, denying him, or even protecting herself. “It will only take a second,” she insisted. There was no way did she want to face Rumple dressed in a practically see through gown. Yes, she had a robe on to cover it, but she would still feel more vulnerable, more exposed.

Bae shook his head. “No, Belle please, go now, please…”

Belle inhaled sharply yet again, looking at Bae pathetically. She felt lost, almost more lost than the day she woke up with no memories, but she knew she would have to obey. “Very well,” she agreed and stepped out from the confines of her room, making sure her robe was tied tightly around her.

Bae looked up at her with those tear filled eyes before he turned and began to walk away. “Come on, he’s still in his room,” he told her as he led the way, stopping right outside Rumple’s closed bedroom door. “He said to go right in.”

Belle nodded and took a deep breath to try and prepare herself for what may or may not happen. Her entire body was shaking, but really why was that? This couldn’t possibly be any worse than any other encounter she had had with Rumplestiltskin. And as mad as he could get she knew in her heart that he would never truly harm her-at least not physically anyway. So what was she so afraid of?

“Is he…um…is he still…” Belle stumbled over her words as she tried to ask what state of mind Rumple was in.

Baelfire knew what she meant and answered her. “No, he’s himself again…I guess…”

He guessed. Belle knew that meant Rumple was probably human again, but he was probably not still acting like himself. She recalled what she had over heard Lumiere tell Rumple all those nights ago when Rumple had returned from wherever he had disappeared off to, the night she had over heard their conversation and he had caught her. Soon he wouldn’t be able to change back-to human form that was. But just because he looked human did not mean he was entirely back to normal. Perhaps the darkness was beginning to seep through. That had to be the case after what she had witnessed the day before.

But he wouldn’t hurt her, she reminded herself. Human or not, he had proven that much. Belle took a deep breath and held her head up high ready to face him. It was now or never. She cast a reassuring glance to Bae who still looked upset and disheveled before she opened the door and cautiously stepped foot in Rumplestiltskin’s bedroom.

All was quiet at first, except for the tinking and dinging of several clocks and trinkets spread throughout the room. The room was actually full of them, many of them. In fact if she had thought Rumplestiltskin had been hoarding in the rest of the castle, she would have been so very very wrong. One look at this room and she would have thought the rest of the castle had been a beautiful clean and organized palace when she first arrived.

She had glanced inside a few times, but never truly had a good look at what was inside. Rumplestiltskin had never invited her into his room and she always wanted to respect his privacy because she had hoped that he would do the same for her.

The ceilings in the room extended higher than many in the castle and every last inch was covered with shelves filled with trinkets, statues, amulets, clocks, figurines, baubles, mobiles-many many magical items that she couldn’t even begin to identify or explain. Some sparkled, some made noises, some glistened in the light, while others were dull and just sat there. The mobiles hanging from the ceiling twirled as if there was some imaginary breeze flowing trough the room. There were snow globes and glass-so many things. And they were all just so mesmerizing. She had no idea how long she stood there in the doorway just gawking at them. Never ever would she have thought this was a bedroom. Maybe it wasn't, she didn't see anything in the room that even remotely resembled bedroom furniture. She couldn't even see Rumple.

Surprisingly the room was not dirty, not like the rest of the house had been before she worked so hard to clean it up. As far as she could see, there was not one speck of dust anywhere and it didn’t look like there had ever been any. Everything in that room looked to be in pristine condition and she knew it _had_ to be maintained by magic. There was no doubt-she could feel and taste the tang in it the air. Then again many magical items surrounded her and that could be where that taste was originating. But the whole castle was magic and she rarely felt this. No, this room was cleaned with magic and why he could spare magic for this room and not the rest of the castle was a mystery to her.

“Belle,” called a soft, yet hoarse voice from across the room-causing Belle to finally break her gaze away from the miraculous items. So Rumplestiltskin was in there, but where?

Stepping in a little farther, she followed a trail through the astonishing things until finally she found Rumplestiltskin resting in the a little bed nestled-more like buried-in the back corner, hidden from her original view by a large pile of books. He was lying there under a quilt and propped up by a few pillows. His hair was still curly, but it looked like it had calmed down a bit since the day before. She wouldn't dare mention it, not unless he brought it up first.

Despite being surrounded by so much clutter, the bed looked cozy and warm, but Rumplestiltskin did not. He looked broken and weak-human-but not like his usual self at all. There were dark circles underneath his bloodshot eyes. His skin looked frail like the slightest touch it might turn to dust. She would be surprised if he could even walk right now. This was a state she had never seen him in before. Part of her craved to run to his side, to grab his hand or even dare a touch at his cheek, but he didn’t want to have anything to do with her and she needed to train herself to feel the same. Oh what did it even matter? She wasn’t going to be here much longer anyway. He didn’t want her here. The expression on his face told her that much. Actually it didn't really tell her much at all.

Belle stopped several feet from the bed and stood there with her arms crossed in front of her, mostly to keep her robe closed, but also because she was nervous. She didn’t dare approach him, not unless he invited her to.

“Hey,” she said softly, trying hard to hold her gaze with his and not look away. She needed to remain strong. She wanted to remain strong.

“Hey,” he started to reply, but didn’t say anything more, not at first.

There was an awkward moment of silence between them and Belle surprisingly was the first one to break it. Her courage had come out of nowhere as she realized she needed to say some things before he completely flipped out on her again.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry, f-for coming back I mean,” she started, unwilling to apologize for the original fiasco with the hair. She still held firm that he overreacted and she was not going to change her mind. “I know you didn’t want me here, but Bae came to me crying and upset. He was frightened-worried that you had died or _were_ dying. I had to come back, just to make sure you were okay-to help Bae. I’ve grown to truly care about the boy and I couldn’t deny him. And I know I shouldn’t have stayed another night afterwards-but again I needed to be sure both you and Bae were alright…” At least health wise anyway, she knew they had a lot of issues to work out, but she could no longer be a part of that. Glancing down briefly, Belle inhaled a breath, fighting back a few tears that were threatening to fall. This was harder than she thought it would be. “A-and now that I see you’re awake, I’ll gather my things and g. You don’t have to worry about me anymore. I don’t want to upset you or cause any more trouble.”

The tears were about to fall now and although she hesitated before turning around, part of her wishing he would stop her, she whirled around then ready to retreat the room.

He had listened to her intently, taking in her every word and never interrupting. Even though he looked sick and weak, he was still alert as ever. And his gaze made her shiver as he watched her with those ever scrutinizing eyes. Even in this state his guard was still up and she still could not read his true mood or decipher anything he might be thinking. But although he didn’t react, he had made himself quite clear the day before. She needed to leave and that was exactly what she was determined to do, that was until she heard him call out for her, stopping her just feet from the doorway.

“Belle wait!” he called, his voice calm.

She paused, but didn’t turn around. A few of her tears had escaped and she didn’t want him to see them. She was done appearing weak in front of this man.

“Despite what I may have expressed prior to today, I don’t want you to leave,” he admitted.

Belle heard him, but she still did not face him. Her heart wanted to believe him, but her head was telling her not to. If she believed him and stayed, she was certain another incident would occur. She reached out to grab the doorknob while Rumplestiltskin continued to talk.

            “I know there’s nothing I could say or do to make up for what I did to you…”

            Belle shut her eyes willing back more tears as she could here the sincerity and sorrow in his voice.

            “And although I want you to stay…if you truly want to go then you are free to do so. Take whatever you like, whatever you need. I won’t stop you. You are no longer my prisoner.”

            Belle’s hand lingered there on the doorknob and now it was shaking. After saying he wanted her to stay she had expected him to beg for her forgiveness or perhaps even force her to stay like he had before. She had never expected him to give her back her own free will-to express, in the best way a man like he could express, that he wanted her to be happy. Yes happy. She could hear it in his voice and if she hadn’t turned around when she did she might not have caught that truth glimmering in his eyes. But she did and it was the only thing keeping her from fleeing right now.

            “And if I did leave…y…you won’t come looking for me one day? This is not a trick?”

            Rumplestiltskin kept his eyes on her, his ever-unblinking stare- and they too looked watery. Was that tears? Or was it just because he was sickly? “No tricks. Your life is yours and yours alone.”

            Belle broke her gaze then and she twiddled her fingers together nervously in front of her, letting her robe slip open ever so slightly but at the moment she didn’t care. Her head shot up then and she was more put together and stern than before. No more tears. “And if I stay? What then?”

            He appeared to perk up then, ever so slightly as if he never expected she would suggest or ask such a thing. “Then my promise still rings true. You are no longer my prisoner-so you will no longer be my maid. You may roam the castle as you please, occupy yourself as you please. The castle will be your home, a true home, for as long as you desire. You’ll never have to clean or take an order again.”

Home. That was a word she never thought she would ever call the Dark Castle. And yet, despite her current-or rather previous-position, in a way she already thought of it as her home. She had been there for months and knew nothing or no where else. But that was not what had made her come to think of the place as home.

No, it was Bae and all the times she had spent playing with the boy or reading to him. It was how homely the place felt once she had got it in order. It was the warm nights resting by the fire and conversations with Lumiere. It was the good times she had learning to cook with or without help. It was searching out and learning about all the wonders the castle had to hold. And finally, it was Rumplestiltskin and the time spent getting to know him-well trying to get to know him. He was a mystery-the biggest mystery and she loved more than anything trying to uncover it-trying to get him to let her in.

Belle smiled then, playfully to lighten the mood as she made a decision. “I don’t know about never.” She began to walk toward him now, motioning around the room, but mostly the castle in general. “If I _never_ cleaned again the castle would go back to its previous state and we can’t have that now can we? Not unless you plan to use magic to clean from now on…” She took a seat in a wooden chair resting next to Rumple’s bed and there was a small twinkle in her eye as she spoke teasingly. It was her way of telling him that she planned to stay-at least for now, as long as he kept his promises.

Slowly a smile formed on Rumple’s lips as he watched and listened to her. “Perhaps I could spare just a tad bit of magic to help keep the place in order…” He spoke with a little twitch of the head, trying to show that he wasn't being serious when indeed he was.

Belle saw right through the action though and just grinned. “You keep this room clean with magic-I don’t understand why you can’t use it for the rest of the castle.”

“How do you know I clean this room with magic?” he asked, narrowing his eyes and leaning a little closer to her.

“Well I didn’t clean it!” Belle looked appalled, but tried not to laugh. “And I doubt the ‘great Rumplestiltskin’ would waste his precious time picking up a feather brush and dusting off each and every one of these trinkets individually…”

She scoffed as she looked around. “Actually I know you didn’t because if you did I’m sure you’d still be working to clean it. There's so many items. What do you have in here anyway? What is all this stuff?”

“A variety of things-most of it magical. Things I monitor day to day for various reasons-some help run the castle.”

“I thought Lumiere controlled the castle?”

“He does, but it’s not all him. For instance…” He pointed to a silver ball sitting across the room, that appeared to do nothing, but as Belle looked closer she saw that it was spinning in place on top of a wooden board. Every once in a while it would speed up, slow down, or change directions. “…that silver ball allows me to know how fast and in what direction the castle is moving. If I want to know exactly what is outside at any given moment without leaving the castle, all I would have to do was tap it and an image of our surroundings would appear.”

Belle’s eyes went wide as she watched the ball intently. She wanted to ask if she could test it out, or if he would show her, but she didn’t feel comfortable with asking him to get out of bed when he looked so frail. However, since their conversation had shifted to a lighter subject, since she showed him that she wasn’t leaving just yet, some of the color appeared to have returned to him. He amazingly looked healthier as if he had been resting and recovering for days.

            A jingling noise above her head broke her concentration and she looked up to see a spinning mobile dangling right above them. It was circular too, but not quite like the silver ball. Instead it had a crystalline structure, with what looked to be rubies at each point where the metal rods met. She could see straight through the rods and in the center of the sphere were a glowing yellow rock floated. It began to glow brighter as the sphere spun faster, but dimmed when it slowed.

            “What does that do?” Belle asked, noting the resemblances between it and the silver ball.

            Rumplestiltskin did not even have to glance up to know what she was referring to. “That tells you if someone is trying to find the castle. The faster it spins, the closer they are.”

            Belle stared at it another moment before she turned her eyes back to Rumple. It was spinning at a moderate speed. Someone must be on the castle’s trail. “Well what good is that if you don’t know who’s looking for the castle?”

            “Did I say I didn’t know who’s looking for the castle?” He reached up to tap the sphere gently and it jingled before the rock in the middle transformed into a face, a face Belle had seen before, but didn't remember. It was the face of a woman with pure white skin, dark red lips, and hair blacker than ever piled on top of her head in the most extravagant hairstyle. She had the evilest and angriest of looks on her face.

            Belle’s eyes widened as she stared at the shadow of the woman, but she didn’t stare for long. Out of nowhere, a sharp pain shot through her head and caused it to ache. She grabbed her head and let out a small moan of anguish.

            “Belle?” Rumplestiltskin sat up straighter and reached for her. “What’s wrong?”

            Belle took a deep breath and the longer she sat there with her head in her hands the quicker the headache began to fade. “Nothing…just a headache.” She took another breath and looked up. “It’s going away. I’m fine.”

            Rumplestiltskin did not look relieved. In fact he looked worried and confused.

            “Really. I’m fine,” she assured him, the headache gone now just as quick as it had come. She smiled to show she was telling the truth. “So who was that?”

            “The Evil Queen,” he replied after a moment watching her closely as if he was expecting something else to happen.

            “The Evil Queen?” She had heard that name before. Where was it? Oh yes… “The same Evil Queen that had put that magical paper in my pocket?”

            He stared at her confused, and she just assumed he didn’t remember what she was talking about. “Remember, during my first nights here you found a paper in my pocket? The one that burned the floor? You said it was from the Evil Queen.” He hadn’t told her much about this woman, but clearly they must have some kind of past if she wanted to find him.

            “Uh…yes, yes. The one and only,” he finally replied still looking befuddled.

            “Well who is she? Why does she want to find the castle?” Belle asked scooting closer to him and showing him she was interested in knowing more.

            He seemed frozen briefly as he continued to stare at her and she couldn’t help but wonder what he still seemed confused about. “Eh…” he started, finally speaking. “That’s a story for another day, but right now…” He pulled the blankets off and sat up right, putting his feet on the floor. He was dressed in his nightclothes: a matching set of green silk pants and shirt. The top buttoned all the way down the front, but he had left the top two unbuttoned and Belle found herself staring again as she did many times when his chest was exposed. She hadn’t noticed earlier because the blankets had been pulled up over him…but now…now he was mere inches away in his nightclothes. Nightclothes. Oh gods! Suddenly Belle remembered he wasn’t the only one dressed in night attire, but she was as well. And she was practically more exposed as her robe had fallen all the way open. Swiftly and smoothly she grabbed at it to close it again.

            If he noticed, she couldn’t tell. Either he didn’t care or he was just being the perfect gentleman. The last thought made her heart flutter and the fluttering only intensified when she felt him reach out and take her hand.

            “Right now I have something to show you,” he finished, standing to his feet and pulling her to hers with him, taking both her hands then.  

            Belle’s cheeks felt like they were on fire as she looked up into his brown eyes, which seemed to hold much more life than they had only moments before. “You do?” she asked in disbelief wondering what he could possibly be referring to.

            “Yes, just hold tight,” he instructed as he kept hold of both of her hands. The two of them were engulfed in the familiar purple smoke and Belle found herself no longer surrounded by the collection of trinkets and amulets, but in a hallway of the Dark Castle, one Belle did not recognize.

            “I’ve never been here before,” she said aloud as she looked around. She thought she had been everywhere in the castle, but apparently she was wrong. The hallway looked like every other one, except that at the end of it was a pair of very large doors, intricately decorated with white and gold moldings.

            “That’s because it wasn’t here before,” Rumplestiltskin replied, letting go of one of her hands and leading her down the hallway toward the doors.

            “What?” Belle asked, confused. How could a room suddenly appear? Well…she could answer that…magic of course. But why was more of the question she really had. And what was behind those doors?

            She eyed him skeptically as he asked her to close her eyes when they stopped just outside the closed doors.

“It’s a surprise,” he added in hopes to get her to play along.

            She looked at him a moment longer before finally she complied and gently shut her eyes, trusting him for whatever he was about to do. She was excited, wondering what he had in store for her. She could only imagine, but she had no idea what it could possibly be.

            With her eyes shut, she couldn’t see anything, but she could feel as he let go of her hand only to take it again after she heard the doors open. As he led her inside, she was very surprised when she heard the sounds of curtains opening and felt the warmth of light as it instantly flooded her face. She had grown accustomed to the darkness in the castle, and for Rumple to let light in-especially this much light-was very rare.

            “Can I open them?” she asked referring to her eyes.

            He didn’t answer right away, but instead took her hands once more and moved her to a slightly different spot. Squeezing her hands she finally heard him as he said, “Alright, open them.”

            Belle promptly obeyed and gasped at the sight before her. Her face lit up. They were in a library, but not just any library, the biggest library one could possibly imagine. All around them were books, more books than she one could ever read in a lifetime, or maybe even two. There was shelf after shelf of books and they appeared to go on forever. They extended all the way to the ceilings, which had to be at least three stories high. And at each level was another balcony that one would get to using one of the many ladders littered around the room.

The light was coming from the enormous windows that were dispersed intermediately around the room. Below the biggest window was a seat built in where one could read and look out upon the grounds at the same time.

            “It’s a library,” she said as if it wasn’t real. “You did all of this for me?”

            “Yes,” Rumple agreed with a smile on his face. “It’s my way of saying I’m sorry. For everything I’ve put you through.”

            Belle smiled back and released his hands as she began to explore. She made her way over to the window where she glanced out, watching as the castle passed over a green valley. “But why a library?” she asked, turning around to face him. It was no secret that the room didn't amaze her, but she honestly had never truly had a desire to read. Why would he give her a library? She stepped over to a nearby table where a pile of books already lay haphazardly on top. “I mean I’m grateful,” she said quickly when she noticed a slight hint of hurt in his eyes. “But I’ve never shown much interest in books…” The only time she picked up a book was when she was cleaning or when she was reading to Baelfire before bed.

            “Well I thought perhaps since you will have so much free time from now on that you might like a hobby,” he said as he stepped toward her. “Plus you might enjoy the chance to get away every once in a while-escape to another world,” he said as he picked up one of the books off the table and flipping through it. "So I thought: Books! The perfect gift!"

            Belle smiled as she glanced down at the books that were on the table. “Well perhaps I could give it a try…” she mused.

            Her gaze moved back up to Rumplestiltskin and she found herself walking over to him, daring to step closer than she usually did. It was normally he who closed the distance between them, but this time it was she as she reached out to put her arms around his neck, pulling him in for an unexpected hug.

            She could feel him stiffen underneath her, but she didn’t pull away until she was ready to. “Thank you, Rumplestiltskin. This means more to me than you may know,” she told whispered softly in his ear. Oh gods, he smelled so incredibly good, like the straw he spun on a daily basis and the tangy scent of his shampoos. And he was so warm. She felt like she belonged there in his arms, especially when he lightly lifted his hands up to hug her back. She honestly didn't want to let go, but she knew it was probably awkward for him.

            Hopefully he wouldn’t be aggravated by her impulsive decision and from the look on his face when she pulled away she could tell that was thankfully not the case. He looked shocked, but happy, and a big smile formed on his face as he gazed down into her eyes.

            For a split second the thought of kissing him crossed her mind and her eyes flickered down to his lips and back. Maybe he would kiss her instead. They certainly were close enough. Oh how she wished he would... Gods when did she come to want that?   She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment, but she was willing to admit she did long for it. But this kiss wasn't going to happen because he cleared his throat and pulled away completely.

            “You're welcome,” he said breaking the moment shared between them. She released him as he took a few steps back. “Now I should leave you to get settled in. I…uh…I have things to do…”           

            It pained Belle more than she wanted to admit as she watched him walk away-or was he running away-and she heard herself calling out to him before he retreated completely. “Rumple…wait….”

            He whirled back around to face her. “Yes?” he said with a look of anticipation in his eyes, again like he was expecting something else to happen.

            “Will I see you for lunch?” she asked hoping he wasn’t going to break their usual routine.

            The hope that she witnessed seemingly slowly fade away and again she saw disappointment glimmering in his eyes. Did he not want to join her for lunch? She didn’t want to force him… Maybe she shouldn't have hugged him, but she wanted to and she wouldn't go back and change it if she could.

            Slowly he smiled. “Yes, I’ll see you for lunch,” and with that he was gone, leaving Belle wondering more about what her mysterious wizard still had in store for her in the days to come.

            She was going to stay here in the castle, for as long as he would have her. It would take time for her to completely forgive him, but this was definitely a start. There certainly was something else between them now, something that wasn't there before, she could feel it and she only hoped things were going to get better.


	25. Chapter 25

It was a couple of hours before Belle actually emerged from the library. She didn’t spend too much of that time reading, but instead exploring the room and getting to know the place, and seeing what types of books it had to offer-or more specifically what Rumple thought she might like. Given that she had no true interests in books, she wondered what he had selected for her to read.

            But after glancing through everything she didn’t find anything too specific. No, in fact it was just the opposite. The library had almost anything one could possibly think existed in the terms of literature. It offered books of all kinds, fiction and nonfiction alike. If Rumplestiltskin’s goal was to make sure she’d enjoy it, he did a great job ensuring no genre was left out. But while that was nice to know she had options, it was also a downfall of the place. Not having any idea what she liked meant not having any idea where to start. But she was determined to find something.

Even if the idea of reading didn’t sound appealing to her she was going to try her hardest to push past that and enjoy it. Rumplestiltskin had put forth so much effort to show he cared for her and wanted her forgiveness; she needed to show him the same courtesy. Unfortunately though, before she decided on a book to begin reading, her stomach dictated otherwise. It was already lunchtime and she was still in her bed clothes. Rumple had also promised to join her-well sort of-hopefully. After this whole fiasco she began to fear once again that he might ignore her. He had in the past… She took a deep breath. No. She was going to stay positive. If he tried to ignore her she knew how to handle it at this point.

Placing a few selected books on the table next to the window, she paused and closed her eyes to just take a moment to enjoy the fresh warm sunlight against her skin. Out of all his gestures, the fact that Rumplestiltskin allowed her to have a room, any room, to be filled with natural light, as much natural light as she could ever dream of, meant more to her than anything. He truly did care about her. Of course it wasn’t love like Lumiere had implied, but it was something. Maybe they could at least be friends…yes friends. She could be all right with that…perhaps. As long as she could find a way to keep ignoring that little voice deep down that tried to convince her that she wanted to be more than friends.

            She sighed heavily and opened her eyes. Perhaps she was getting ahead of herself. The entire household knew the direction Rumple’s curse was taking him and if Belle was truly honest with herself, she knew that it wouldn’t be long before another incident. She wanted to believe there wouldn’t be one and she was sure Rumple was sincere when he claimed he was sorry and never wanted to hurt her again. Yet, it seemed this was going beyond his control. Each and every day she could see how he was fading, how he was fighting harder and harder to stay in control. How long before there was none of the man left? Was she foolish for staying in the castle?

            She couldn’t think about this anymore or she would go mad. Only hours ago she had forgiven Rumple and practically promised she would stay; she wasn’t going to go back on her word without reason.

            Knowing she needed to change before heading down to lunch, she left the library and made her way down to her room first. However, she was not expecting to be bombarded by a still disheveled Baelfire. In the blink of an eye, the boy had his arms wrapped around Belle’s legs, gripping her in a hug so tight one would think his life depended on it.

            Belle was taken completely aback, and she even had to regain her balance when he appeared out of nowhere, but she had no time to even ask what was going on, for he was already giving her the answer.

            “Belle please!” He cried heavily into her robes. “You can’t leave! I don’t want you to leave! I don’t care what Papa says! I want you to stay!” He spoke quickly through his tears, not allowing her to get a word in.

            “I don’t want you to go anywhere! I want you to stay here with us! I love you! You’ve been like a Mama to me! I thought we were family!”

            Belle’s heart nearly melted hearing the boy’s words and seeing how distraught he was over the thought that she would soon walk out of his life forever. Mother, family, love…She had always been incredibly fond of the boy and knew he felt the same, but she never imagined he could feel so deeply for her. To honestly think she was like his mother? It was more than she could ever ask for, could ever wish for.

            “Oh, Bae,” she said softly, hugging the boy. “I’m not going anywhere, you don’t have to worry. I love you, too.” And she really did. She had thought very highly of the boy for a long time and had already known she loved him like a son. Reassuring him was coming very easy to her, because it was all true.

            Bae sniffled a few times and lifted his head up to look at her. His eyes were blood red from the crying and Belle’s robe was damp from his tears. “S…So…we _are_ family?” he asked as if he still wasn’t sure if she was telling the truth or just trying to calm him down.

            “Yes, we’re a family,” she said with a nod and a smile. She gently stroked a strand of hair out of the boy’s eyes and cupped his cheek. She could feel tears pooling in her eyes as she looked down at him.

            “Even Papa?” he added.

            That caused Belle to pause, but only briefly and not in any manner where Bae would have ever noticed. It was weird to think of Rumplestiltskin as family and even harder to say it out loud, but it didn’t stop her from telling the boy what he wanted to hear, “Yes, even your Papa is my…our family.” And even though it was harder for her to say, part of her knew it was the truth too.

            Bae smiled big then, bigger than she had ever seen him do so before and he hugged her even tighter, almost cutting off her circulation. “I don’t know what I’d do without you! I’m so glad Papa didn’t scare you away!”

            Belle chuckled lightly and gave the boy a kiss on the forehead. “I am too-now, you must be hungry. Did you even have breakfast?”

            The rumble that erupted from Bae’s stomach at the mention of food was enough to answer her question.

            She just shook her head. “Go-I’ll meet you in the Dining Hall once I’ve dressed.”

            With a nod of the head and without hesitation Bae hugged her again and ran off like she told him to do so.

            Belle was in her room and dressed within minutes and soon she was hurrying off to the kitchen with her hair tied back and apron on. Although Rumple had said she was no longer the maid, she knew that didn’t excuse her from preparing meals. They did have to eat. If she left it up to Rumple or Bae she feared the castle would quickly return to its former state. That was another reason she knew she was going to find it hard to relinquish her duties. As long as she lived in this castle there was no way it was ever going to be neither disgusting nor cluttered again.

            Once she arrived at the kitchen she was surprised to find the pantry was quite low on food, holding some bread, several fruits and vegetables, and a block of cheese along with a few other miscellaneous ingredients. It was honestly one of the first times she had seen it this low, with only enough food to last the three of them for maybe a few more days.

            The pantry had always been well stocked and Belle had never been the one to fill it. She had just assumed either Rumple went out to purchase more goods or the more easier and likely answer: magic.

            But if it was magic, it wouldn’t be so empty now, so Rumple must have done shopping and it he had to of done it subtly because she never noticed. Well, she would just inform him that they were running low. He could spin straw into gold so purchasing more certainly would be no issue.

            After preparing simple peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, one for each of them including Rumple, Belle garnished it with some freshly sliced apples and left a pot of tea brewing on the stove as she walked everything to the Main Hall.

            She was surprised-no happy-to find that Bae and Rumple were already waiting for her. Her eyes first locked with Rumple’s and she couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face, especially when she saw he was doing the same thing in return. It almost seemed as if his eyes lit up-or his whole demeanor for that being-as if her presence alone lit some sort of light within him.

            She cast a glance and smile over at Bae too, not wanting him to think she was ignoring him, as she set down the tray of sandwiches on the table.

            “I love peanut butter and jelly!” Bae squealed the moment he saw what she had fixed for lunch. His mood had significantly improved and one would have never known he had been crying all morning just to look at him.

            Belle was glad Bae and Rumple both seemed to be on better terms. Although she really had no idea what had gone on between them when she wasn’t around, she was certain they had fought in one way or another. It was important they got along-they were father and son, a father and son who didn’t spend a lot of time together.

Bae had expressed how much he had looked up to her as a mother, but the boy needed his father too. Rumple needed to be a part of his son’s life, but he barely spent a lot of time with the boy. Usually Bae was off alone or with Belle. Perhaps she could arrange some father son time. She was certain neither one of them would be opposed. If they did oppose then at the very least the three of them could do something as a family. Yes, a family. She had a family now and if she truly meant that she felt they were her family then she had to make sure she showed it as well. And spending time together was one of the best ways to do that.

            “Peanut butter and jelly?” Rumple asked, sounding a bit surprised. Belle knew he was only questioning it because he was not accustomed to such simplicity. Usually when he joined Bae and her for meal the food was much more extravagant and he usually requested she cook certain things except on the very rare occasion he prepared it himself-or his magic did.

            “Yes, peanut butter and jelly,” Belle confirmed, handing a very eager and hunger Baelfire his plate. “It’s all we had in the…” She started her sentence, but was cut off when she turned to face Rumplestiltskin, getting the first good look at him-all of him, not just his eyes-since she entered the room.

            He was dressed normal as usual, in his silks and leather pants, and he had his cane. Had he had his cane that morning? She didn’t recall him using it in the library and he was clearly human. He always needed it when he was human…maybe she didn’t remember it. Yes, that had to be it. Otherwise, she had to believe what else it could mean: that the curse really was taking over not just his mind, but his body. No-she was just preoccupied too much that morning. He had the cane…he had to of had it.

            But cane or no cane, that wasn’t what Belle was focusing the most on. No, once again she found herself staring at Rumple’s hair. It was different, _again_ ; he had clearly done something with it-or tried to do something with it. It still was not straight, not like before, but neither was it curly. No, now it just had a hint of a light wave to it with more volume.

            “Yes, my dear? Something you’d like to say?” Rumple said, breaking her concentration. He could see she was staring at him and she knew he knew what she was thinking. But she didn’t dare say too much, especially since his hair was what had caused his anger to go out of control in the first place.

            She bit her lip nervously. “It’s just your um…” Gods she wanted to say hair, she needed to say hair, but she just couldn’t.

            “My hair?” he finished for her and nodded his head fashioning a smart smirk on his face. “Ah yes, my hair. Well this is the final result of what has come of your tinkering with my potions and products.”

            Oh gods…was he about to get angry again? Please…no he couldn’t! They were past this! She examined him carefully. He didn’t appear to be angry. He stood there watching her with both hands on his cane clearly waiting for her reply. There was a sort of air about him-he was in one of his playful moods, she was sure of it. No anger.

            “So you were unsuccessful in trying to straighten it?” she asked, still erring on the side of caution and reasonable conversation.

            “Try as I might, with all my knowledge, all my spells, magical potions and trinkets, I cannot conclude as to what concoction I mixed to produce such an outcome. This…” He motioned upwards toward his hair in a slow manner. “…is the final result.”

            He didn’t seem too agitated about it, but not excited either. She knew he cared a lot about his looks, and while the originally curly hair had been ridiculous, the wavy hair was not. She could honestly say she liked it-maybe even more than the straight hair.

            Like it or not though, she couldn’t stop the small giggle from escaping her throat.

            Rumplestiltskin narrowed one eye at her and leaned in a little closer. “My dear…you find this funny?”

            “No!” she replied instantly and straightened her back, trying to stand tall even though she was still a couple inches shorter than him. She took a deep breath and gathered courage. Any comment on his hair was a risk and she was willing to take it. “I like this look…It adds character…” She even took a step forward and reached out to touch his hair, rolling a strand between her fingers, before quickly pulling away. What had just come over her?

            He didn’t mind though, there was even a hint of a smile on his face, but he eyed her suspiciously, clearly not believing her. “But…” Yes, of course he could tell there was a but.

            She smiled, chuckling once more. Dare she say it? He was in a playful mood, she was definitely sure. “But…it’s funny how an all powerful wizard can’t even cast a spell to straighten his hair…” She looked at him challengingly and was met with nothing but…silence.

            Silence. There was a long moment of just silence. No one moved, no one breathed, and Belle couldn’t even hear the crackling of the fire. Maybe she shouldn’t have said it. Quick! She had to take it back! But she didn’t have to because Rumple spoke first. “Well this all powerful wizard didn’t expect such a mischievous maid to come into his life and rearrange everything now did he?”

            Yes…playful. She wasn’t wrong and breathed a sigh of relief while the fleeing smile returned accompanied by a light blush. “It needed rearranging…just like the castle needed cleaning…and by all means you needed to let some light in.”

            She had no idea what meaning those words truly held, but in that moment as she stared up into Rumple’s eyes, there was something between them. He was letting his guard down-more than usual and she could see that flash of emotion in his eyes, but by gods what emotion was it? She had seen him hold it for her here or there, but she could never identify it. Her heart brought on the fleeing thought of maybe it was love, but her head quickly tossed that away. Fondness…maybe it was fondness…

            Rumplestiltskin cleared his throat and took a step back. “Eh…you were saying earlier?”

            “Saying? What?” Belle was still lost in his eyes, sad now that what she had seen before had disappeared or perhaps had just been hidden away.

            “The peanut butter and jelly. It was all you had in the…You didn’t finish your thought.”

            “Oh, oh!” Belle broke her gaze then realizing he was changing the subject back to the original conversation. She picked up her plate and took her seat next to Baelfire who had already devoured most of his sandwich. “I was trying to say it was one of the few things left in the pantry. We are apparently running low on food. I was hoping you could go to the market?”

            Rumplestiltskin remained standing making Belle feel like he would take his leave soon. It disheartened her. “Why don’t you go to the market in my stead?” he suggested in such a nonchalant manner one would think it was nothing.

            But Belle did not think it was nothing and neither did Baelfire. The two of them practically dropped the food they held in their hands in sync with one another and just stared at Rumplestiltskin slack jawed.

            “I’m sorry,” Belle said, shaking her head and furrowing her brows. “What did you just say?”

            “Market, you can go to the market for me and purchase anything you need-not limited to food…and take Baelfire with you,” he pointed over at his son and was still acting like this was nothing at all, as if it were something that he suggested everyday.

            “Wait…” She shot a worried glance over at Baelfire. This had to be too good to be true…a trick maybe. She could see similar reservations in his eyes. “You trust me to go to town with your son?” she said, turning back to Rumple.

            Bae remained quiet watching his father and waiting for a clear answer. There was definitely some pent up excitement as he waited for what both he and Belle so desperately wanted to hear.

            “Yes,” Rumple replied with a curt nod. He began speaking with his hands then as he did so many times. “As we discussed, you are free to come and go. You are no longer my maid. And it’s high time you got a moment away from this castle and myself. Market day at Avonlea is in two days. You can go then. I hear they have quite the selection of seafood most of which is caught by the local fisherman.”

            Belle was still in utter disbelief, first the library and then this? It had only been a day and things were already turning around. That was as long as he didn’t change his mind… But he appeared sincere.

            Her silence prompted him to continue. “That is unless you don’t want to…”

            “No! No!” Belle said as fast as one possibly could, jumping to her feet as she said it and running over to him. “I want to, I really do…I’m just surprised that’s all.” She shot a smile back at Bae who was beaming brightly.

            “Well rest assured I mean what I say. You may go to market and spend all the time there as you would like, but Baelfire will have to wear his disguise.” His voice was firm at that last part.

            “Yes, of course,” Belle agreed.

            “I know Papa!” Bae called from behind.

            Oh gods, market…town…Belle was truly going to go out, going to get part of her life back. Well not her life. Of course she didn’t remember what her real life was truly like, but at least she would be able to take a break, to mingle with other people besides a wizard, a child, and a fire demon.

            As if she was mirroring what had happened in the library that morning, Belle suddenly found herself once again with her arms around Rumple’s neck pulling him in for a tight hug and leaving him flabbergasted.

            “Thank you, you truly may never know how much this means to me,” she told him with tears pooling in her eyes. I love you…she had the urge to tack on those words, but the gods only knew why. Love…no she didn’t love him. THAT was ridiculous. And even if she did love him…saying them in such an awkward moment with his son watching was not the time.

            She bashfully looked away from him as she pulled back. Having that thought in her head made her unable to make eye contact with him. “I look forward to it…”

            And she really did, but it was going to be a long two days to wait, but it would be worth it.

           


	26. Chapter 26

            The wait for market day to arrive felt like an eternity even though it was only a few days away. But this would be the first time Belle was allowed out and away from the castle in months and with Baelfire no less! Rumplestiltskin actually trusted her to do such a thing-well he said he did. For all she knew he would change his mind at the last moment and forbid her from going. However, she remained optimistic hoping that would not be the case.

To keep herself busy she spent the next two days getting to know her new library. She also introduced Baelfire to it who was very ecstatic about it. The boy loved books and Rumple must have thought of him too when he built it because there was also a very well stocked children’s section among the shelves.

            Belle mostly read to Bae from the books he chose, rather than reading ones on her own. She had tried to pick up a book here or there, but she could never concentrate on it or get deep into the story. She wasn’t sure if it was just the anticipation of waiting to go to town or because she wasn’t one to really read in the first place.

            Finally the big day arrived and with all the encouragement from Rumplestilstkin, the wheel was turned to blue and Belle and Baelfire were soon out the door and walking out onto the streets of the seaside town of Avonlea.

Belle had given thought to the strange door before-she had been out it a few times. But this was the first time she had truly stepped outside of the castle when the wheel was set to something other than green, which led to the area the castle was physically in at any given moment. Well...there was that one time she had peeked into 'Mr. Gold’s Pawnshop,' but she had never truly went in there and she hadn’t seen Rumple visit there in months-since that first week she came to the castle actually. That was odd-did he not need to run his shop?

            Nevertheless, that thought didn’t hold her attention for long. She was too amazed by the magic of the castle. After stepping out through the door, her and Baelfire were both right in the middle of the town, where many people where hustling and bustling to get to wherever they needed to be. When she turned around to see what she had walked out of, there stood a door to a little shop with a sign which read ‘Yin Sid’s Potions’ above it. It was a simple shop-not much too it, made of worn down brick with other shops on either side of it. The potion shop however, looked quite shaggy actually compared to the others-perhaps so that one might not draw too much attention to it.

            And that was working if it was true, because everyone that walked by didn’t pay it any mind-nor did they even glance at her or Bae.

            Belle recalled Bae selling potions during her first day at the castle and she also remembered him wearing a disguise-the same one he was wearing now. Rumplestiltskin had insisted on it and even though the boy did not want to, his father did not take no for an answer. They weren't allowed to leave the castle without it.

            Belle hadn’t seen the disguise since that first time they met and she found herself having to glance over at him every once in a while. She didn’t mean to stare but she couldn’t help it. He was disguised as a full grown man! And it normally would not bother her as much, but she also remembered what Bae had told her about his father keeping him young. It was very odd indeed-because perhaps Bae would actually look like he did now if he was his true age.

            After keeping him from growing up, why would his father choose a disguise like that? Why was he so terrified of letting Bae be himself? Or at least chose a different disguise. Was Rumple really that terrified about people knowing he had a son? There had to be more to this story and all Belle wished was to uncover it. Rumplestiltskin was so secretive…if she could just prove to him that she could be trusted maybe he would finally open up to her.

            Perhaps this trip to town would be the first step in the right direction. She wasn’t going to run away and she certainly wasn’t going to let anything happen to Bae while they were out.

            “I can’t believe Papa is letting us go! I haven’t been out in so long!” Bae said happily as they strolled along the streets of Avonlea.

            Belle smiled over at the boy and agreed with him. This truly was a blessing and she hadn’t felt this happy in a long time.

As they walked along the cobblestone road she admired everything and everyone. With no memories, she had never seen such a place and it truly held her attention. Even though it was quite the humble town and the architecture wasn’t much to look at, she still marveled at all the buildings and people. PEOPLE. She hadn’t seen another human being in so long-none besides Rumple and Bae. And she knew she was staring causing some women looked at her strangely before hurrying off, but she just couldn’t help it. It felt like she had been transported into an entirely new world.

            It was going to be difficult to go back. But as long as she knew she was free to come and go, going to the place she felt she could call _home_ wouldn’t be a problem.

            The market stalls were set up along the seaside docks and Belle froze in place when the buildings seemed to part and she got a true view of the ocean. It was just absolutely gorgeous-and it seemed to go on for as far as the eye could see. The town itself was nestled in a little gulf, surrounded by somewhat tall, green, and lustrous mountains. There was a nice secluded feeling about it, but if one wanted to escape there was the open door to the world out on the ocean ready to take you anywhere your heart desire Perhaps one day she could go on an adventure, but that was probably more wishful thinking than she should be doing.

            The vendors in the market had quite an abundant and variety of things to chose from. Belle had never had any complaints about the selection of food in the Dark Castle, but it was nice to have so much to choose from and to have the option to try new foods or buy what she liked.

            Rumplestiltskin had given her a fair amount gold, allowing her to buy as much or whatever she pleased. He had even encouraged her to buy anything her heart desired-not just food. The offer warmed her heart, however she knew she could never spend his money so frivolously, even though he had more than enough to last several lifetimes. He spun straw into gold actually-he would never run out, but still she didn’t feel comfortable being greedy like that.

            If she saw something small, perhaps she would purchase it, but it would be more to benefit the seller than for her own personal wants. Of course she would purchase something for Baelfire if he were to see something he liked, but even the boy never showed much of an interest in materialistic things. His father was the collector…

            “Pretty scarf for a pretty lady?” A man with dark hair and a short beard called to her as she walked by causing her to stop and look. “Or perhaps a nice bracelet to decorate your wrist.”

            The man was holding up the two items he spoke of and Belle couldn’t stop herself from being drawn to the beautiful things. Pretty. That was not the word to describe her. She knew it was just a selling tactic the man was using. He would call anyone pretty if it meant making a sale. Yet another reason not to bother spending Rumplestiltskin’s money on herself. Someone else would be more deserving.

Still she couldn’t stop herself from reaching out to touch the blue scarf-it looked so soft and comfortable and it certainly felt even better.

            “It matches your eyes,” the man added.

            Her eyes-those ugly foreign blue eyes-the ones she always looked into and saw nothing-no one-a nobody. She hated the reminder and had to take a deep breath before she could manage to look up at the seller and force a smile. “It’s very lovely, but no, thank you. It would be more befitting of another woman.”           

            And with that she walked off, leaving the seller to shrug his shoulders and move on to another passerby. She felt horrible for leading him on like that-but she just couldn’t bare to think about the things that made her depressed, like her eyes or the fact that she was not pretty. And she didn’t want this day ruined by horrible thoughts.

            Instead, she found the vendors who sold fresh vegetables and fruits and other good-looking food. She started at the vegetable stand, picking out a few and filling her sack.

            “I hate potatoes!” Bae whined-something very unfitting of the older man that he was sporting around and supposedly pretending to be.  

            Belle shot him a glance, but continued choosing some good-looking potatoes before moving on to the green vegetables.

            “Green beans? I don’t like those either!” Bae continued.

            The whining didn’t faze Belle though and she picked up a handful of green beans anyway not giving Bae so much as a glance. “You can choose some vegetables you like, but it’s good to try new things. I’m sure your father would agree.”

            Bae pouted just a little bit, but he was agreeable to the idea since she was allowing him to choose food he enjoyed as well.

            “Hey,” she said softly to Bae after she paid the vendor and walked off. “Perhaps we can find a stall which is selling treats…” She nudged him playfully in the side. “Maybe some fresh pies or chocolate…”

            Bae’s eyes lit up then. “Chocolate! I love chocolate!”

            Belle chuckled. "Well then, let's go see if we can find some."

            Bae nodded eagerly and the two happily continued on, looking at all the stalls to see if they could find chocolate. As they looked, Bae admired many things, but Belle showed no true interest-not feeling as if she had anything she truly liked. She didn't care to think about it either, because again it brought on those feelings of despair for not being able to remember who she truly was or what she adored.

            "There's some Belle!" Bae called out excitedly as he ran ahead of her.

            "Great," Belle said with a nod and handed over the coin to pay for an amount large enough to treat both him and her. "Should we get some for your father?"

            Bae shrugged his shoulders. "He doesn't really like chocolate," he said as he took a big bite of the sweet treat.

            "Oh." For some reason that disappointed Belle. It wasn't because Rumple didn't like chocolate, but because it just reminded her that she didn't know very much about a man that she was beginning to develop feelings for. She did know that he was a kind man, and she supposed that mattered more than most things, but that man was slowly fading away because of the curse.

            "Hey!" Belle scolded as she saw Bae take another large bite of the candy. She just shook her head. "You should save some for later...plus you'll ruin your dinner."

            Bae looked at Belle with his cheeks stuffed with chocolate and he tried to talk to her with his mouth still full. Nothing came out except a jumbled sentence that even Belle couldn't make out. Belle did, however, have to resist the urge to burst out laughing. Bae still looked like a grown man even though she knew he was a child, but a grown man acting like a little boy was the funniest sight.

            "Well you've already taken the bite, at least chew it up and swallow it before you try to speak," Belle said, rolling her eyes.

            Bae obeyed partially by not chewing but swallowing the chunk whole and almost choking on it. "I said..."

            "HEY! LOOK OVER THERE!"

            A voice from the crowd interrupted Bae and caused both him and Belle to look out toward the waters where others were pointing. Out on the distance, there was a ship. Normally that would be no big deal since Avonlea was a small boating village and ships of all shapes and sizes made port there. But as Belle squinted her eyes to get a better look and as the ship drew closer, she noticed there was something off about the ship.

For one it was a war ship, but that wasn't what made the sick feeling surface deep in her stomach. No, not only was this a war ship, but also it was a ship that had seen battle and seen battle recently. It was practically in pieces, with holes in the sides, and smoke coming out of one end. The fact that it was still floating was miraculous. It was safe to assume that somehow the people on that boat had escaped with their lives and Belle had a very bad feeling about the fact that it had come there to Avonlea.

            It was a state of the art battleship and she knew there was only one thing that could have destroyed it: ogres.

            People began to flock to the docks and the water's edge to get a look at the ship as it drew closer. All around them the vendors began to abandon their shops so that they could join in too.

            "Come on Belle, let's go get a better look," Bae suggested as he grabbed her hand to drag her through the crowd.

            But Belle put up resistance and tugged him back toward her. "No I don't think it's a good idea. We should get back to the castle."

            "I've never seen a battleship so close though!" he begged, trying to convince her.

            Belle shook her head and continued to tug on his arm toward the opposite direction. "No, Bae. I have a bad feeling about this." Not to mention she was scared. Very very scared. She didn't want to tell that to the boy though.

            Bae was about to continue pleading with her when suddenly there was a loud explosion off in the distance across the top of the mountains. In that moment everyone went quiet and all things seemed to freeze even the birds in the sky. It was eerily quiet and so very still for what seemed like eternity until a loud roar disrupted everything...and then another roar...and another. Then there was a woman's scream from the front of the crowd and then another.   And then as if in one swift motion the entire crowd of people began to move in a wave, screaming and crying out to their loved ones to run away, dropping things and trying to flee back from the waters, clawing and trying to climb over things and one another as everything became chaos.

            And Belle didn't have too long to wonder what was going on as there was no mistaking the loud warnings of the townspeople as they hollered to others, nor was there mistaking the giant, bald, and disgusting dirty creatures that held huge battle axes and clubs in there hands as they came into view across the gulf's edge: Ogres were attacking Avonlea.

 


	27. Chapter 27

            “BAE RUN!” Belle screamed as she grabbed the boy’s-or rather grown man’s arm. She had to get him out of here; she had to get him back to the castle, back to Rumplestiltskin. For the moment, she could care less about what happened to her. The only thing that mattered was getting Rumple’s son to safety, the boy she loved so dearly as if he were her own. Yes she was frightened, but she had to push those feelings aside and be brave. Baelfire’s life depended on it. Ogres were known to do horrible and unspeakable things to their captives and she was determined Baelfire would not meet such a fate.

            Bae was not resistant at all to Belle when it came to fleeing the scene. One good look at the monsters and he was terrified beyond all means, wanting nothing more than to hurry home as fast as possible. He kept a firm grip on Belle’s hand as she maneuvered between the other people running for their lives as well. It was hard for both of them to keep their footing with everyone pushing and shoving, but soon the two managed to slip into a dark, empty alley freeing both of them from the crowd for the moment.

            “BAE HURRY!” She yelled wanting to keep moving as fast as possible despite her body crying for rest. They couldn’t stop now. She could already hear the cries and screams from others behind them who had not managed to escape and were at the hands of the ogres now. It pained Belle greatly to hear such things, and she only wished there was something she could do, but she had to remain focused on saving the boy.

            Twisting and turning through the alleyways and around the buildings, Belle finally came to a clearing with a direct path to Rumple's fake little potion shop. The only thing standing in their way now was the crowd of people running through the streets. It would be hard to break her way through and prevent herself or Bae from being trampled. But they had to try.

            She paused only for a second, to turn to Baelfire and look at him determined. “On the count of three when run as fast as we can and shove our way through to the door.” She squeezed his hand firmly. “And no matter what, you don’t let go of my hand, understand?”

            Bae nodded, trying his best to catch his breath during the seconds she was allowing them to pause.

            “Okay,” Belle said with a nod and turned back to face the shop. “One…two…th…”

            She stopped in the middle of three…freezing in place for what appeared to Bae to be for no reason at all. But despite what it seemed, there was a good reason Belle stood there completely frozen. As she glanced at their pathway, something caught her eye, something familiar, and something terrifying.   
            Off in the distance, amidst the townspeople, there was a person, no a thing that resembled a person-more like the shadow of a person. The thing seemed to be hanging around as if it wasn't bothered by the ogre attacks at all. It was tall, much taller than any human, and completely black, no facial features whatsoever. It moved in a fluid like motion, sending shivers up belle’s back, almost more than the ogres themselves. But the most terrifying thing of all was that she KNEW she had seen one of those things before. They had plagued her dreams many times, but something told her dreams were not the only part they had played in her life.  
            “Belle…what is it? Is it an ogre?” Bae asked, sensing her distress and taking a step back into the shadows as he looked around for one of the beasts.

            Belle was still frozen there for a moment as she kept her eyes on the creature. But when she blinked, the thing was gone as if it had just disappeared into thin air.

            She shook her head both answering Bae and trying to work up her courage again. “No, no it’s not, let’s go.”

            It didn’t take as much effort to work their way through the distraught crowd as Belle had thought. Rushing, she made sure Baelfire was inside before hurrying in herself and slamming the door behind her, locking it as well for extra measures.

            Rumplestiltskin was already running into the room with a distraught look on his face. “Bae! Belle!” he called in relief.

Bae sprinted toward his father, throwing the cloak off and transforming into the little boy once again right before he threw himself into his father’s arms and squeezing him tighter than ever. “Papa! There were ogres! The came to the city!”

Rumplestiltskin held the boy close, hugging him with much love. “I know son…I heard. I was ready to come fetch you, but now you’re home, you’re safe.”

            While Rumple was comforting his son, Belle was still plastered to the door as if something might try to break through. The recent events were haunting her and causing the fear to finally catch up with her. She was fighting to stay calm and not burst into tears-or even run to Rumple’s arms too. Oh how she longed to, but even as frightened and shaken up as she was, she knew that was not her place and it would only make it awkward between the two of them. It was already awkward enough. She did not need to add to it.

            Finally she turned her back to the door and slowly let herself sink to the ground taking deep breaths as she closed her eyes to center herself. Except it wasn’t working. When she closed her eyes all she could see were those ugly, terrible, and horrifying creatures…and not just the ogres, but the dark glob looking thing as well.

            She could feel her body shaking from fear even though she knew she was safe within the walls of the Dark Castle…but it just wasn’t enough…no it wasn’t enough; not until she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and then another on her arm causing her to open her eyes to find Rumplestiltskin standing before her and carefully lifting her back up to her feet.

            Her eyes locked with his and instantly she could see that his walls were down-at least for now-and she could tell he was very concerned, not just about Baelfire, but her as well.

            Once she was steady oh her feet he didn’t let go of her, keeping one arm draped around her side and using the other to tilt her chin up toward his. “Are you hurt?” he asked.

            Belle shook her head and broke eye contact with him for a moment.

            “You’re trembling,” he commented.

            She didn’t let her eyes drift back up to his for fear she might not be able to contain herself or hold back tears. “I’m frightened,” she replied back, not realizing she was using present tense instead of past.

            “I understand…but you have nothing to fear now. The ogres cannot penetrate the castle’s defenses. Nothing or no one can enter unless I or Lumiere allows it.”

            Belle nodded. “I know...”

            “You know, but...?”

            Slowly she tilted her head up to let her eyes meet his again and she could feel the threat of tears grow stronger. “But the ogres attacked the town while I was shopping with your son…and…” She spoke a little fretfully and a few tears slipped down her cheeks while her body continued to shiver. “…and you trusted me to keep him safe…”

            “And you kept him safe,” Rumple interrupted, looking at her softly. “You brought him home completely unharmed.”

            Belle shook her head. “It was just luck…I was so frightened…what if they had captured us? Or what if Bae was hurt or even killed?!” She was practically balling hysterically now.

            “Hey, hey,” he said trying to calm her. “Belle it’s alright. You’re safe, Baelfire is safe. There’s nothing to fear now.” He reached up to stroke some stray hair out of her face that had escaped her ponytail. He also wiped away a few tears, letting his hand linger on her cheek. “I trust you because you are very brave…braver than you think. And you proved it by bringing my son home unharmed.”

            Nothing to fear now? Brave? Belle wasn’t so sure about that. Not only were ogres currently attacking Avonlea killing any and everything in their path, killing innocent people, something she didn't even try to stop, but she couldn’t push the image of the other dark creatures from her mind. Should she tell him about those? Or would that only make him think she was overreacting? The creature had done nothing to her. But why had she seen the thing in her dreams, no, nightmares before?

            “Come,” he commanded as he wrapped his arm tightly around her, grabbed his cane, and begin leading her away. “You should rest.”

            Belle didn’t object at all and even laid her head against his shoulder as he took her to the library. If he minded at all, it didn’t show and she was glad. She felt safer being this close to him.

            It was interesting he chose the library instead of her room, but she supposed he knew she didn’t want to be alone, which was correct.

            He helped her over to the chaise by the fireplace and with a snap of his fingers a bright fire flared up in the fireplace. He then took a blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders, before taking a seat next to her.

            She looked at him, both grateful and confused. Why was he doing this?

Lumiere’s words surfaced once more in her mind. “He does want you!” the fire had exclaimed referring to Rumple and implying something more. But could he truly love her? Again she was debating it in her mind and her heart fluttered at the possibility. Why would he be doing so much for her right now if he didn’t love her? Why would he seem so distraught?

            “Why do you care about me?” She felt the words slip from her mouth before she could stop them and almost instantly she regretted it. It was sure to anger him or make him put the walls back up, or even worse, cause him to leave.

            He turned to her and she could not read his expression. Well at first she thought she could-she thought maybe he was shocked by the question as if he was caught feeling something he shouldn't. But it was gone as quickly as it came and he put on a more neutral face, but she could still tell he was struggling with something internally. “I…don’t…” he muttered, clearly trying to play it off.

            She tilted her head at him, giving him a hint of a knowing smile. He was usually very good at hiding his feelings-but she could see right through him now. He did care for her-not love, she couldn't let herself think that much. But he cared for her enough to not see her hurt.

            He twiddled his fingers in his lap and looked down at them. “Baelfire cares for you.” He was trying to make this all about his son. “And I love my son and want nothing more to see him happy. You make him happy.”

            He was close to admitting it, she could tell, closer than she had ever thought he would come and still probably as close as he would go right now to being short of actually saying it. He wasn’t truly denying he didn’t care for her, but there was still a pang in her heart. She longed for him to tell her how he felt, longed her him to feel something more for her. However, she knew she was asking too much and wasn't going to continue.

Her eyes were still filled with tears, but she was beginning to calm down a little. The library was cozy as it always was and Rumplestiltskin was here with her. Still, any little noise made her jump like the bumping noise from the far corner. She unintentionally squealed and began to shiver again. Although it was just a normal sound from the castle, she couldn’t help believe that it was an ogre.

            Rumplestiltskin moved a little bit closer and again wrapped his arm around her. She drew her body close to his, keeping her eyes on the corner where she heard the noise.

            “It’s only the castle,” he assured her, knowing exactly what she was thinking. “We’re moving that’s all. There are no ogres. _You’re safe._ No harm will come to you as long as you are within the confines of the castle.”

            Belle took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I believe you, it’s just-you didn’t see them. How horrifying they were…those large beady eyes…the fangs…”

            “I have seen them,” he told her.

            She turned her head up so she could face him, her brows creased. “You have?”

            He gave a curt nod. “Aye, many years ago and sooner than you might think.”

            This was new: him voluntarily telling her something of his past. She craved more. “W…will you tell me about it?” she dared asking, hoping it didn’t make him withdraw.

            He stared down at her sadly and she could see the cogs in his mind working as he battled with the idea of whether to tell her his story or not. “Eh…” he sputtered nervously. She was certain he was going to deny her, but then she was taken by surprise. “A conversation like this deserves a hot cup of tea.”

            Another snap of his fingers and a tray with freshly brewed tea and everything one might need appeared on the table beside them.

            At first Belle didn’t think anything of it. She was growing accustomed to magic, but when she caught a glance of the tea set she shot up and did a double take, her mouth falling open. It was porcelain, white, with a little blue streak along the middle and the brim outlined in gold. There were two cups and one of them was _chipped_. Chipped! She had seen this set before! It was in a dream for sure…but was that all?

            “Something the matter my dear?” he asked having noticed her action and now he was looking at her expectantly.

            Belle blinked a few times and shook her head. It was aching slightly now, but she brushed it off to the unwelcome so called excitement of the day. “Oh…eh…no…well…where did you get that tea set?”

            His eyebrows raised as if she had just made his day by asking such a thing, but why? “I’ve had it for many decades. One of the first possessions I acquired with the castle.” He picked up the chipped teacup, showing it to her.

            “It's a very old set…that would explain the chip in the cup,” Belle noted.

            “Actually,” he held a finger up in the air in a correcting manner. “The chip is more of a recent development.”

            “Well if you broke it why do you still use it? Do you not fear ruining the entire set by shattering it more?”

            “I never said _I_ chipped it.” He motioned toward himself in a flamboyant manner.

            If he didn’t chip it then who did? Baelfire? She knew she didn’t.

            “And I have my reasons,” he added, speaking about the current use of it.

            He held the chipped cup out for her then, the tea inside of it steaming and looking very delicious.

            Belle glanced down at the cup and then back up at him again. He wanted her to take the broken one? Why? It was broken! He looked so sure, so happy for some odd reason and she just couldn’t understand it. But she also couldn’t accept. “No…thank you, but I…I’d prefer another cup. I’m afraid I may cut my lip given how clumsy I can be.”

She wasn’t trying to hurt his feelings-and honestly she couldn’t even understand why it should even matter-but for some reason it did. As soon as she said those words what hint of happiness she saw instantly faded and it looked as if Rumple's world had just come crashing down. But he didn’t scold her, nor even make a mention of it. Instead he agreed. “Ah…yes…I should have thought…” He looked off into the distance frozen for a long moment deep in thought, before he finally turned and picked up the intact cup to hand to her. The chipped one he kept for himself, holding it with some affection. This set meant something to him, something special, but she didn’t know why and he didn’t seem keen on telling her. But that explained why he insisted on using a broken cup.

            Rumplestiltskin cleared his throat and she could see his walls were partially back up. “I believe I was going to tell you about the ogres,” he said, returning to their original conversation.

            Belle held the hot tea close and pulled her legs up on the chaise and she made herself comfortable where she was facing him and could listen to what he had to say. She nodded with a light smile. She feared saying anything could cause him to change his mind.

            He saddened, more than before, and his eyes went down to the chipped cup as he twirled it absentmindedly. This wasn't just about the cup anymore. “The first time I saw an ogre was many years ago,” he started slowly, “in the first Ogre War.” The last part was said very softly, almost inaudibly.

            She looked at him with sheer curiosity. She remembered the story Bae had told her about avoiding being drafted into the Ogre War-the thing which resulted in his father taking on this Dark One curse. So while she knew Rumplestiltskin was very old, he had no idea she knew that. He also didn’t know what Bae had told her, so she had to do her best to appear surprised. “You were in the first Ogre War? But…but that was hundreds of years ago!”

            “Aye…” He smirked then and wiggled his eyebrows, leaning over toward her. “Quite handsome for two hundred eh?”

            Belle giggled then, covering her mouth. “Perhaps,” she replied in an equally teasing manner with a smile on her face. “A very brave, handsome, two hundred year old man…”

            He furrowed his brow then and sat back up straight, more serious. She instantly felt her stomach drop-he was teasing her, certainly she could do the same?

            “Brave?” he repeated with skepticism.

            Oh…maybe she shouldn’t have said that. She wasn’t ready to admit what her and Bae had spoken of. Luckily she knew how to fix it. “Yes…you must have been very brave to have fought in the first Ogre War and still be sitting here with me today.”

            Rumplestiltskin frowned deeply then and his gaze fell to the floor.

            Belle swallowed thickly. Somehow she was making this worse and she just didn’t understand what she was doing wrong.

            He shook his head then, answering her questions before she asked them. “I’m not brave Belle. I’m actually a coward…”

            “What?” she breathed, unable to believe what she was hearing.

            “A coward Belle,” his voice raised. “I’ve always been a coward. That’s why I ran from the wars, why I built this castle, why it’s filled with so many amulets and trinkets that tell me of others and the outside world, so I can avoid anything and everything I’m afraid of!” He seemed very upset now, yelling at himself and not her.

            Belle was locked onto the fact that he just admitted to her that he was afraid and she just could not believe that-not after getting to know him.   “What are you so afraid of?” she asked, unable to comprehend that there was anyone out there more powerful than him, anyone that could instill some sort of fear in him.

            “More like whom am I trying to avoid?” he corrected her with a hint of sarcasm. He stood and took a few steps away from her, his back turned. He was leaning on his cane heavily. “The Evil Queen for one, and King David...more specifically the witch who controls him: the Blue Fairy.”

            Belle was still so confused. She had recalled him mentioning avoiding the Evil Queen, but he wouldn’t say any more on the matter then…perhaps he would continue to open up now. She just had to find the right way to get him to. He was standing though and she feared he would flee so she had to tread carefully. Not only did she want to know more, but she also did not want to be alone. She didn't know much about this Blue Fairy, so she thought it was best to start with Regina. “Why have you been targeted by the Evil Queen?”

            “She wanted to make a deal with me-for help finding this Snow White she’s been searching for. But that wasn’t all she wanted…” He paused then. She could tell he was unsure and not wanting to go into too much more detail.

            “What was it?” she asked softly, sitting up and trying to show him that she would understand.

            “She wanted…wants…to be more than friends…”

            Belle felt an instant burning of jealousy surge through her even though it was obvious Rumple did not care for this Queen.

            “But I wanted nothing to do with the woman besides our deal. I knew what an ugly hag she was deep down underneath that creamy skin, ruby red lips, and thick lashes.”

            Belle’s heart dropped, misunderstanding the true meaning of his words. He didn’t want a woman like the Evil Queen because he thought she was ugly. Belle had seen this woman-a brief glimpse of her but a glimpse nonetheless. She was far from the word ugly. Belle would go so far as to say she was the fairest woman she had ever seen. If Rumplestiltskin thought her ugly then what on earth did he think of her?

Belle almost burst into tears again then. She herself was ugly! Hideously ugly! So of course he could never fall for her! She had been fooling herself to think that it was even a possibility. She fought as hard as she could to push the tears away, but she was barely winning.

            Rumplestiltskin however, did not notice her confliction as he continued with his own, trying to open up to her and tell her the truth. “I ran away, abandoned our deal,” he continued. “And as revenge she went to another witch, the Blue Fairy, and soon I found the King was summoning me to fight in this new Ogre War. I’ve managed to avoid it-to an extent-but recently my aliases have also been summoned.”

            Belle wiped some of her tears on her sleeve. She was glad he wasn’t looking at her. “Aliases?”

            “Gold, Yen Sid…”

            Oh those were the names of the supposed wizards that were running the different shops the magic door led to. “How many names do you have, Rumple?”

            “Enough to live my life of freedom.”

            “And what if you continue to ignore the King’s order?”

            “The Blue Fairy is very powerful. Eventually she will find a way to take me, forcing me to abandon my son and all I’ve done for him.” Rumplestiltskin closed his eyes fighting this confliction within him.

            “So you have no choice,” Belle stated, matter-of-factly.

            Rumple took a deep and troubled breath. “And if I go willing to war my son will still lose me.”

            Belle wasn’t sure how he knew something like that, was so sure, but she remembered his confliction with this Dark One curse. Perhaps if he went to war, the only way to fight would be to transform into that beast and become that forever. That couldn't happen. She could not let that happen.

She hopped to her feet, letting the blanket slip to the ground, and she went over to him. “They you must go to the King, tell him about Baelfire, about your situation. Ask him to pardon you.”

            He chanced a glance over at her but still did not face her. “You make it sound so easy, but you do not know what kind of people they are.”

            “But if the King is the one who's summoned you, he's the one who can pardon you. He’s the King and he’s supposed to care about his people!” She reached out and touched his arm. “If you just try he may listen!”

            Rumple turned his head just enough where his eyes could meet hers and see all the enthusiasm and hope that they held whereas his only held nothing but failure and despair. But then, just like that, they lit up brighter than ever before. He turned to her, grabbing her by the arm. “Belle that’s it! You can go see the King!”

            Belle’s looked at him confused and as if he had just said something absolutely crazy. “What? Me?!” she exclaimed, sure she hadn’t heard him correctly.

            “The King-you can go see the King disguised as my sister…”

            “Sister?!”

“And tell him I am a coward and useless, that I’m too sick to fight. And then perhaps then the Blue Fairy may finally give up!” He seemed so convinced of this plan, but it sounded ridiculous to Belle. Not to mention the thought of doing something like that terrified her. She had just escaped ogres and some other creature she couldn't explain. She was not ready to leave the castle.

“Rumple what?” She stepped back from him. “No, I can’t do that…I can’t pretend that…they’ll never believe me.”

“Of course you can,” he insisted stepping back to her, closer this time. He reached out to touch her cheek with the back of his hand. “I have faith in you. And I will go with you, in disguise, to ensure you remain safe. Belle please…this may the only way…” It was odd to see him beg like this.

Belle looked up into Rumplestiltskin’s brown eyes, seeing the hope now, hope that she would do this for him and succeed, hope that he would be able to remain with his son. There was no mistaking how important this was to him and she swallowed hard as she realized she was about to stupidly agree to this.

 

           

 


	28. Chapter 28

            That night Belle had a very difficult time sleeping, something that wasn’t foreign to her, but this time the reasons were twofold. First, every time she closed her eyes she saw either the ogres or the blob creatures. Second, she was terrified about this ridiculous errand Rumple was sending her on. There was no way she could ever pass as his sister. They did not look anything alike. Rumple had assured her that if they questioned it at all she just had to plead adoption.   Yet, these were powerful men and women-some magical folk. Wouldn’t they be able to tell if she was lying or not? And not to mention she would be lying to THE KING. Couldn’t she be locked away for such a crime?

            Rumplestiltskin didn’t seem to think so. He seemed fairly confident in this whole thing as if it was the best plan he had ever concocted. Maybe it was. Then again he was the one who also had thought it was a good idea to lock his son in some sort of time prison to keep Bae safe. His intentions were good-in that case at least-but he really needed to set his priorities straight.

Rumplestiltskin needed to understand that this mission was the absolute most ridiculous thing to do. Yet, she knew she was still going to do it. She would do it for him because she cared for him and she cared for Baelfire. It probably wouldn’t work, but it was worth a shot. At least she wouldn’t be lying when she did call him a coward. In her heart she believed him to be brave, and she knew she would still try to alter his decision to go through with this and would most likely be unsuccessful. But having her go to the palace on his behalf was a very cowardly thing to do. Yet, if the King did seize Rumple and his son, what would she have left? Absolutely nothing.

            All these weeks in the Dark Castle, all these weeks hoping she would heal and yet still not one memory had returned to her. It was hopeless, just like getting a good night’s rest. It didn’t help that every little sound or movement caused her to cringe, to recall what had happened earlier that day. But Rumplestiltskin had assured her over and over again: no one or nothing could get in the castle. So then why was he so terrified of the Blue Fairy or the King? If nothing could get in then that included those two as well didn’t it? She supposed he didn’t want to be locked up forever, but really nothing made sense because Rumple only seemed to tell her half of what was going, if that much.

            Eventually, she did drift off, somehow managing to get a couple hours of sleep before Rumple had Lumiere woke her at the break of dawn to have her dressed and ready to go on this foolish chore.

            “What will you be disguised as?” Belle asked Rumple as she wrapped a warm wool shawl around her shoulders, preparing herself for this outing.

            “That, I haven’t decided!” Rumple replied with a squeal as if this was a joking matter. He took a sip of his tea as he sat and watched her carefully.

            Belle rolled her eyes and slipped her shoes on. “Then how shall I know it’s you?”

            “Oh you’ll know it’s me my dear, it will be quite obvious.”

            It was so impossible to get a straight answer out of that man. “And what if I’m discovered as a fraud?”

            “You let me worry about that.”

            Of course that was his answer. She should have known. She flashed him a fleeting scolding look, reprimanding him for basically sending her into this blind without any clue of what to do except somehow to miraculously convince this Fairy to release him from whatever hold she has on him.

            The little wheel clicked by the door turning to the color indicating she was going to the capitol, going to the Palace that housed the royals.

            Belle walked down the couple of steps and reached out for the doorknob, but it was then she froze. Scenes flashed before her eyes. Horrifying scenes of ogres and the black blobs. All she could imagine when she stepped out that door was one of those monsters waiting to pounce, grabbing her and ripping her to little pieces and feasting on her flesh. It was the most gruesome thing she could imagine, but after seeing what happened to the people of Avonlea she couldn’t push the images from her mind.

            “Belle?”

            She could feel Rumple standing behind her now, feeling his breath on her shoulder as he was so close. It should have made her calm down, it should have made her feel safe, but all she could do was imagine she was on the verge of being attacked.

            “Belle?” It was Rumple’s voice again and this time it was accompanied by a hand on her shoulder. She jumped then; flipping around defensively, ready attack before anything else could. But she could see now it was only Rumple.

            Tears threatened to fall again, pooling near the corners of her eyes. She answered Rumple before he had time to ask what was wrong. “How can you be sure there’s no ogres out there?”

            “Belle, I’ve explained this-I used my magic to scour the area. There’s no ogres within one hundred miles. The capitol is far from Avonlea, far from the battlefields. You aren’t in for any surprises this trip.” He paused his face showing he couldn’t promise something like that. “Any ogre surprises I mean…”

            Belle was far from any type of mood to joke. “Alright, no ogres, I believe you, but what about the…” She stopped herself then, having almost spilled the beans about the dark blob creatures. She still hadn’t told him about those and she wasn’t sure it was a good idea to. Every time she really thought about them…like really thought about them that headache would return. He would probably think more about it than he should. He would worry more than he should. It was just headaches after all; any one could get them.

            “What about the what?” He eyed her suspiciously leaning forward a little, scrutinizing her every move.

            Thinking quickly on her toes she came up with an answer that was a legitimate concern. “What about the Evil Queen? What if I run into her?”

            He went into deep thought then, as if he hadn’t considered the witch might be an issue. And to Belle, she may very well not be. After all it wasn’t like she had seen the woman before, yet whenever her name was mentioned it did seem like she was this impending threat. After his confession that the Queen wanted a relationship with Rumple-something that every time she thought about made Belle’s blood boil-she really didn’t understand why the woman was so dangerous. All Rumplestiltskin had to do was say no. She couldn’t force him to be with her.

            “Here.” Rumple held up his hand and his flesh flashed gold before returning to normal as a ring magically appeared between his thumb and forefinger. “Give me your hand.”

            Belle watched him carefully, before obeying and holding out her left hand. When he took it, she could feel her heart leap and it began to beat even faster as he slipped the little ring on her index finger. She held it out to examine it. It was a small gold ring with a bright red round jewel at the end of it that sparkled even in the tiny bit of candlelight. It fit her hand absolutely perfectly as if it was always meant to be there.

            Her eyes sparkled as they looked back up to meet his, but she was unsure about what all this meant. Her heart so wanted it to mean something special, something romantic, but her head told her not to wish for such impossible things.

            “This will protect you from the Evil Queen among other things,” he explained.

            Oh…it was for protection, nothing more. Her smile faltered a smidge as she felt a tinge of disappointment. Why did she even think it meant something more? She was so stupid. Over and over again she needed to remind herself that he would never want an ugly woman like her. He probably thought of her like a sister and that was why he came up with this plan. No. That was a stupid thought too. Why would he think of a maid as family? It was all for Bae, nothing more. Bae thought of her as family and that was enough reason for Rumple to keep her safe. He had explained that to her the night before and she needed to do well to remember it.

            As if he sensed her disappointment, most likely because he saw it on her face or inferred from her quietness, Rumplestiltskin grabbed her hands and made her look back up at him.

            “Hey, you can do this, don’t worry,” he assured her. “The ring will protect you-I personally will be there to protect you-and you will be able to convince that fairy scum to release me of my contract.”

            She sighed. He couldn’t read her at all. That had not been what she was thinking of even though they were all valid points. He was however, holding her hands and she felt all tingly inside and a little uplifted. She didn’t want him to let go. Being this close to him had become very enjoyable to her and it felt as if he was showing her more and more affection with a little touch here or there. And there she was going again letting herself believe it wasn’t an act.

“Why do you hate the fairies so much?” she asked with genuine curiosity, but mainly as a distraction to try and stall him. It didn’t work.

            Instantly he dropped her hands and his face soured. He backed away from her stepping back up the stairs to the main floor. “Hurry along now my dear, shan’t be wasting any more precious time.” He waved at her in a shooing motion, which infuriated her just a little bit. She wasn’t some stray he was trying to get rid of. Then again he could have just been teasing her. Or he could have just been trying to avoid going into detail about his past, avoiding telling her anything about him like always.

            Well she could play his game. Grabbing the doorknob and turning it, she stepped one foot outside before turning around to address him one last time. “Perhaps you should be nicer to me Rumple. I am doing you a favor. After all you wouldn’t want me to tell the Blue Fairy the truth about your little plan now would you?” She flashed him a playful little smirk, waggled an eyebrow and then shut the door before he could have the last word.

            For a brief moment she stood outside the door to the castle, which here in the capitol was just a door on the side of a brick building. She giggled. She found delight teasing him even if she wasn’t very good at it. Perhaps she should start doing it more often.

            Composing herself, she decided to set off toward the palace to get this over with. But as she took her first step a piece of parchment appeared out of thin air, startling her as it floated down from above her, wide open with a large font so she could easily read it. “Leave the deals to me, dearie,” the large calligraphy read just before it hit the ground and burned away leaving no trace that it had ever been there in the first place.

            Belle sighed heavily and rolled her eyes, looking to the sky as if she expected to see Rumple there. Yet, there was nothing but a few puffy clouds, the sun shining bright, and a couple of crows. They were cawing loudly as they flew overhead, a few of them landing on a nearby building and staring at her as if they were watching her.

            “Oh he better not be disguised as a crow,” she said aloud with a huff. How could he protect her as a measly little crow? She guessed he could easily watch over her and see all around, but still…

Thinking of protection and disguise, Belle glanced down at the ring and then down at her clothes. He had given her a nicer dress to wear, one that screamed more wealth and less maid. It had a pretty pink linen skirt that fell just above her ankles with a cream linen shirt that had a ruffle around the neck. Over the shirt she wore a thick button down brocade vest, that matched many of the vests Rumplestiltskin wore when he was dressed as a wizard and not a man, but hers of course was much more feminine. The wool cream shawl wrapped around her helped protect her from the chill in the air, as there was a slight breeze in the city that day.

They were all very nice, but like everything else they meant nothing and Belle knew they didn’t suit her at all. She didn’t deserve to wear such gorgeous clothes. They were pretty things for pretty women and she was nothing of the sort.

The crow cawed loudly again pulling her from her thoughts. She huffed again and looked away, this time actually setting off on her mission, determined to get through this even though she knew it wasn’t going to work.

At least the little bit of excitement caused her to briefly forget about her fear of ogres and blob men, but as she made her way through the streets she began to find herself nervous once more. Every alley way she checked, every corner she peeked around fearing there was something hiding there waiting to get her. She took a deep breath and told herself to focus on something else-like trying to determine what Rumple had disguised himself as. Yes, that was a good decision and something she needed to know. Now if he had just told her, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but he had to make everything a game didn’t he? She had come to the conclusion that it was not a crow. She had not seen any since she left the castle and not one of those that were hanging around there followed her. He could have been some sort of bird though. It did make sense. He had magic and did fly. He had showed her that, once, and of course she had freaked out. But he had surprised her and she wasn’t in her right mind, what did he expect? Maybe if the time was ever right she could ask him to try and show her again.

            When she came to the center of the city there was a large bronze statue and fountain right in the middle of a man with a beard on a horse. Belle had no idea who it could be, but she assumed it was either the current or a past king. Several pigeons perched on the statues head and a few on the cobblestone streets, cooing loudly as they scouted the ground for food. Could Rumple be a pigeon? No. If he wasn’t a crow then he wasn’t a pigeon. It was too simple for him. No, if he were a bird he would be something more sophisticated she was sure.

The town centre was hustling and bustling with people, most of them obscenely wealthier that the crowd she had encountered in Avonlea. Their brightly colored clothes made of lace and silks were nothing like she had ever seen before. Most of the men wore very fancy suits with either a tie or bow tie to match and some sort of hat a top their heads. The ladies wore hats too, adorned with bows, feathers, or small trinkets. Some women were dressed in more traditional clothing like Belle while others were in the modern wear with skirts that came above their knees and furs wrapped around their shoulders.

            She didn’t understand that clothing very well, although she did recall wearing something similar in that dream she tried to forget, the one that made her blush every time she considered what her and Rumple were doing in one of his shops. It was causing her to also blush now as those images surfaced in her mind. Over and over again she needed to remind herself that it was only a dream, a dream she needed to forget.

            A laugh from above caused her to forget about it and she glanced up to see a two manned metal flying contraption flap by with large wings. A man was driving and a woman held on to him from behind as he made the machine do a little swoop trick causing the woman to giggle uncontrollably like a little school girl with a crush.

            She felt a pang in her heart. Her mind told her THAT could be Rumple, showing off and flirting with other women, but she desperately hoped not.

“Mreowww, meoooowwww.” Something brushed against the bottom of her legs caused her to startle.

            It was just a kitty, purring and rubbing her ankles, looking at her to be petted or fed, she couldn’t be sure. Belle bent down and rubbed the grey cat on the head, the little thing purring even louder and rubbing back. “I really need to stop being so on edge,” she said a loud to herself and the kitty as if it could understand. Something occurred to Belle then and she narrowed her eyes at the cat who was so adamant about getting affection from her. “Rumple…is that you?”

            The cat mewed again as if it was answering her, but then suddenly it squealed and darted off, faster than Belle could ever expect to chase it.

            Straightening her back, Belle placed both hands on her hips. Well, no she supposed that wasn’t Rumple. Then what was? And what had scared off that cat? She turned around and instantly received her answer. Sitting right behind her was a little Dalmatian puppy. It stood on all fours and barked, as it’s long tail waggled back and forth happily.

            Belle smirked and shook her head. “I should have known you would want to make an entrance,” she commented, knowing now this little puppy was her Rumplestiltskin. She adjusted the shawl on her shoulders and continued on down the streets. The dog followed obediently as if she was the master and had told him to come. “I’d like to know what you would have done if there hadn’t been a cat.”

            The puppy barked twice. Belle rolled her eyes. Of course she couldn’t really understand what he was trying to say. “Couldn’t you at least pick something more useful? Or that sticks out a little less? I mean seriously Rumple, out of all the dogs, a Dalmation? I didn’t think you wanted to draw attention to us.”

            And attention was just what they had drawn. As she scolded the dog, or Rumple perhaps, she didn’t notice the duo of dark blob men appear along side her along with a tall rounded black carriage accented with a beige door and trim. The top was adorned with intricate gingerbread and a single black curtain his the occupant inside.

“My my, what an adorable little dog.”   A sickly sweet woman’s voice echoed from behind the red curtain of the carriage, calling Belle’s attention as she realized she was no longer alone. At first she only saw the carriage and not the creatures that were pulling it.

            If she had been alone, she knew she would now be scolding Rumple for drawing attention, but she had to keep her mouth shut in front of this stranger of whom had yet to show her face.

            “Too bad he makes company with such an ugly little bookworm.” The curtain moved aside then revealing a breathtakingly beautiful woman. She was dressed all in black with a silver necklace and embroidered cape to match the detailing on her carriage. Her hair was just as dark as her dress and her lips as red as an apple. A small hat with lace on the edge sat a top her head giving her a very polished and wealthy appearance.   And for the first time without doubt Belle knew who this was. She did not even have to think or guess. It might have been her memory or it might have been just inference, but there was no mistaken. This was the Evil Queen.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a few notes, Belle's siblings are from one of the original Beauty and the Beast stories. Mr. Gold and Rumplestiltskin are the same person, but the townspeople don't know that, I tried to make that clear but just in case I didn't I thought I'd let you know. The town I'd say is kind of a hybrid Storybrooke/ Enchanted Forest town. It has some elements of both. Hope you enjoy! Also I do not own Once Upon a Time or Howl's Moving Castle.


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